SO2: Fantastic Fanfiction

EPISODE 20: This and That, Part I:

Next, on Fantastic Fiction:

Precis finds trouble in a restaurant....

PRECIS: I can buy this and this... I can buy that and that... but I CAN'T buy
THIS and THAT!? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!!!!????

On the next: FANTASTIC FICTION

CHAPTER 1:

In the Port of Herlie, Claude, Rena, Chisato, and Precis have just entered a
restaurant.

CLAUDE: OK, what to eat?....
CHISATO: I believe here we have to wait on a line to receive food, instead of
at a table....
PRECIS: Yeah! Let's go!
CHISATO: I'll have to be quick. I want to interview Zand....
RENA: Good luck, Zand never sees anybody unless it's for a special reason....

Everyone goes on line.

CLAUDE: I'll have some steak, please....
FOOD MANAGER: OK, that's 150 FOL.

The deal is made....

RENA: May I have some rice cakes?
CHISATO: Can I just have some Fruit Juice? I'm in a hurry to interview
someone....
FOOD MANAGER: OK... OK.

Now it's Precis' turn.

PRECIS: (looking at food list posted behind, talking to herself) OK.... a
slice of pizza costs 100 FOL... so does a chocholate crepe....
....
PRECIS: ... Drat! I can't get both! All's I have is 100 FOL! Unless....
....
PRECIS: Excuse me, mister?
FOOD MANAGER: Yes? What'll it be?
PRECIS: Can I spend 100 FOL on a half slice of pizza, and a half of chocholate
crepe?....
CLAUDE: Eh, Precis?....
FOOD MANAGER: Sorry, I can't do that....
PRECIS: What!? C'mon, mister! Think!.... A while slice of pizza costs 100 FOL,
right?
FOOD MANAGER: Eh, yeah...
PRECIS: ... And an entire chocholate crepe costs 100 FOL also, right?....
FOOD MANAGER: Eh, yea, so?...
PRECIS: ... SO.... a half slice of pizza would be worth 50 FOL, and so will
the other half... to add up to 100 FOL!....
RENA: Eh....
PRECIS: ... Same with a chocholate crepe! A half plus a half is a whole!
50 FOL plus 50 FOL is 100 FOL!
FOOD MANAGER: ....
PRECIS: If I could buy a slice of pizza for one hundred FOL, aren't I buying
two halves of the same thing?
CHISATO: ....
PRECIS: Same with the crepe! If I'm allowed to buy a half of THIS and a half
of THIS for the same price, or a half of THAT and another half of THAT for
100 FOL, then why can't I buy a half of THIS and a half of THAT for the same,
100 FOL price!!??....
FOOD MANAGER: ....
PRECIS: I can buy this and this... I can buy that and that... but I CAN'T buy
THIS and THAT!? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!!!!????
FOOD MANAGER: ... GET OUT!!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!! LEAVE MY STORE, YOU'RE A
PEST!!!!
PRECIS: ... OK, FINE!!!! .... But this isn't over yet!

Precis storms out of the store....

CHAPTER 2:

Later, Chisato is at Zand's Mansion, trying to get an interview....

CHISATO: But I NEED that interview!
ZAND'S MINION: Nobody sees the Great Zand!
CHISATO: But!....
ZAND'S MINION: No buts!!
CHISATO: I NEED this interview!....
ZAND'S MINION: Leave this mansion! You're nothing but an eyesore!....

Chisato leaves the mansion. Outside, she starts pondering....

CHISATO: Hmmm, just WHAT does Zand do?
....
CHISATO: I NEED to find out!! But how?....

Meanwhile, Ashton is in a nearby shop with Leon.

ASHTON: Wow, they have a lot of stuff here, right Leon?
LEON: Yeah, big brother! They sure do!
ASHTON: Look! There's tools, toys, and antiques...
LEON: ... Hey, Ashton! LOOK!!!!
ASHTON: WOW, A GOLDEN COLLECTOR'S BARREL!!!!
LEON: Let's buy it!
ASHTON: Oops... I forgot to bring my money!
LEON: Well, let's go back to the hotel and get it.

CHAPTER 3:

Precis once again enters the restaurant....

PRECIS: LOOK, mister, I should be allowed to buy a half of pizza and a half of
a crepe for the price of one! They're HALVES, for crying out loud!!!!
FOOD MANAGER: You again!? .... As I said before, ENOUGH WITH THE HALF AND HALF
DEAL!!!!
PRECIS: C'mon, sir! Why can't I be allowed to buy THIS and THAT, when I CAN
buy THIS and THIS, or THAT and THAT!?
FOOD MANAGER: ... GET OUT!!!! GET... OUT!!!!!!!!
PRECIS: Drat! He still won't change his mind!....

Precis leaves the restaurant....

PRECIS: Hmmm, I'm tired of this! I've got to do something!

Precis heads over to a nearby store....

ASHTON: OK, now that we have the money, we can buy the Gold Collector's
Barrel!!!!
LEON: Yes, big brother!
PRECIS: Hello, Ashton! Hi, Leon!
ASHTON: Hi, Precis.
LEON: Hey, big sister!
PRECIS: I need you two to follow me down to the nearby restaurant! There's a
guy there who keeps getting on my nerves....
ASHTON: But we were about to buy the number one barrel!....
PRECIS: That can wait!
LEON: ... OK, fine.
ASHTON: OK, you're right....

Chisato enters the store.

ASHTON: Hi, Chisato. Can you do me a favor?
CHISATO: Sure, I guess...
ASHTON: ... Take my 10,000 FOL and buy that Gold Collector's Barrel for me,
would you? I was about to myself, but Precis wants to show Leon and I
something....
CHISATO: But....
ASHTON: Thanks!

Ashton gives Chisato 10,000 FOL. Then, Ashton, Leon, and Precis head towards
the restaurant, leaving Chisato behind....

CHISATO: Well, it looks like I'm stuck here to buy... A BARREL!....
....
CHISATO: I never understood his obsession with barrels anyway, but... what the
heck!?
MAN: I'll take that!
CHISATO: Huh!?
CLERK: Aah... the Gold Collector's Barrel! That costs 10,000 FOL.
CHISATO: But!....
MAN: Thanks!

The man walks out of the store with his new barrel....

CHISATO: ... Now what?....
....
CHISATO: ... Well, I guess I'll try to get that interview....

CHAPTER 4:

Back at the restaurant....

ASHTON: So, I hear that this guy refuses to give you half of a slice of pizza
and half of a chocholate crepe for the price of one? Or, as you put it, a half
of THIS and a half of THAT?
LEON: I don't see why he won't. Theoretically, if a whole crepe is worth
100 FOL, and a whole pizza slice is also worth 100 FOL, then half of each
should add up to 100 FOL also....
PRECIS: I know, but he STILL refuses to cooperate!
ASHTON: Where is he now?
PRECIS: Over there, in back!

The three of them walk towards the food manager.

FOOD MANAGER: You again! I should ban you from coming here!
PRECIS: Well, what you are doing is WRONG!!!!
ASHTON: Yeah!
LEON: Just let her get the half of "THIS" and the half of "THAT!"
FOOD MANAGER: NO!!!! It is unnatural for a restaurant to serve it's costomers
in such a way!!
PRECIS: Well... you'll be sorry! We'll prove to you that this is wrong!!!!
FOOD MANAGER: Oh... I'm shaking in my boots!....
ASHTON: ....
LEON: You think you're so perfect, don't you!?
FOOD MANAGER: LEAVE MY STORE, YOU FREAKS!!!! And NEVER return!!!!
PRECIS: You haven't heard the last of me!....

CHAPTER 5:

Chisato is once again trying to interview Zand....

CHISATO: C'mon, please!....
ZAND'S MINION: NO!!!! I already told you to leave earlier!....
CHISATO: Isn't there any way I can interview Zand?
ZAND'S MINION: Well... you could...
CHISATO: ... YEEEES????...
ZAND'S MINION: ... you could give us a little something, then MAYBE we'll let
you in on the interview....
CHISATO: ... ANYTHING!!!!
ZAND'S MINION: (thinking to himself) Heh, heh! She'll NEVER be able to do
this!
CHISATO: Anything will be fine!
ZAND'S MINION: 10,000 FOL!!!!
CHISATO: Huh?
ZAND'S MINION: 10,000 FOL, then you'll be able to interview the Great Zand....
CHISATO: Here it is!
ZAND'S MINION: (in disbelief) What!? You have that sort of money? I had no
idea you were a person of even moderate wealth!
CHISATO: (acting big-headed) True... true....
ZAND'S MINION: ... To casually carry around such money....
CHISATO: ... Well, you're righ when you're full with FOL....
ZAND'S MINION: OK, you now have permission to interview Zand. I will lead you
to him....
CHISATO: Thanks!

CHAPTER 6:

Leon, Precis, and Ashton have gone to Lacour....

ASHTON: So, do you think you'll be able to help us?
COOPER SEAMORE: After what happened last time!?
PRECIS: I KNOW you're still disturbed over losing your first case ever. But
this time, there's no losing!

Precis explains her whole story of half and half of this and that.

COOPER SEAMORE: WHAT!? He thinks he can get away with that! It's ambiguous,
ridiculous, and suspicious!
LEON: You said it! So, are you willing to make this a case?
COOPER SEAMORE: You bet! It's an easy, sure - fire, guaranteed win! A
definite, expectable victory! Defeat!? Not a chance!!!! After all, I'm Cooper
Seamore, STILL the best lawyer around, despite losing a case!!!!
PRECIS: Yeah, it was only ONE case....
COOPER SEAMORE: ... DOH! I LOST A CASE!!!! But... what the heck? I won't lose
ever again, after all....
ASHTON: So... we'll WIN this time!!!!

All four of them start laughing.

END

CHISATO: Yeah, I can finally interview Zand! Finally, I'll find out JUST what
he does!....
ZAND'S MINION: Before you see him, I will let you in on this little secret.
Zand hit his head a week ago, and sometimes thinks he lives in an alley....
CHISATO: Really?
ZAND'S MINION: Yes, He should recover in another week, but in the meantime, he
always finds a way to go to an alley....
CHISATO: ....
ZAND'S MINION: Oh, I forgot... Zand wen't away on a vacation....
CHISATO: WHAT!!!!????
ZAND'S MINION: It looks like they'll be NO interview, after all!
CHISATO: ... But!....
ZAND'S MINION: NO BUTS!!!! Since Zand isn't here, there is no use for YOU!!!!
Now, LEAVE THIS MANSION!!!!
CHISATO: Doh!

Chisato once again leaves the mansion....

CHISATO: Hmmm... just WHAT does Zand do for a living?
....
CHISATO: WHAT is his function in this port of Herlie?
....
CHISATO: I bet his vacation is in some alleyway....
....
CHISATO: Pretty clever excuse....
....
CHISATO: The world may never know....

Meanwhile, in a dark alley....

ZAND: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!!!!.... HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH!!!!!!!! HAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....
ZAND: ... MY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

The scene shifts away from Zand as he laughs. The scene then fades. Meanwhile,
will Cooper Seamore win this next case? To Be Continued Next Season!....