"Hey, you."

I almost jumped out of my skin, and whirled around so fast I nearly lost my balance. "Oh, Xander. Wow, you scared me."

He flashed that goofy grin Willow loves so much. "Sorry 'bout that." He wasn't sorry, not a bit. He's incorrigible.

I gave him my best glare, but it didn't go any good. He's been glared at by Giles and Buffy, nothing I could come up with was going to make a dent. Ah well. "What's up?"

He gestured back into the Bronze. "I have been deputized to see if everything's all right."

"Deputized?" I smiled. "Do you have a silver badge?"

He paused to think about that, and smiled again. "That'd be pretty cool, I'm holding out for one of those next time. But no, no badge. I was worried when I saw you slip out, so I asked Will, and she said to come check on you. So here I be."

"Why didn't Willow come out herself?" Not that I wasn't happy to see Xander, but me leaving my own party is the kind of thing that should've brought her running. She's a worrier, my Willow.

He chuckled, conceding the point. "Two reasons, really. First of all, she and Dawn are beating the pants off Giles and Buffy at the pool table, and she didn't want to miss that. And she figured you'd think she was smothering you if she came out herself." He leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially in my ear. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that part. Will'll kill me."

I giggled and gave him a wink. "I won't tell. The secret is safe with me."

He smiled, but got serious quickly. "Secrets. They can mess you up. You know that, right?"

I was scared for a second, but then he looked at me, and his eyes were kind. Still, I had to take a few extra seconds to reply, to make sure I didn't stutter. "I know. I'm sorry, Xander." It felt ridiculous to say that, seeing as how I'd almost gotten everyone killed. 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem like enough.

Xander looked confused for a moment, then laughed. "That's not what I was talking about. Hell, if we got mad every time a spell went wrong or shouldn't have been cast, we'd never get any work done around here. Did I ever tell you about the love spell I messed up on Valentine's Day a few years back?"

I shook my head. Willow had never mentioned that either. It sounded interesting.

He blew his breath out in a rueful chuckle. "Oy vey, as Will's grandmother would say. What a mess. Ask Will why she was nibbling on my ear wearing nothing but one of my shirts sometime. Should be worth it just to see how red she gets."

I'm sure my eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "She did that?"

He nodded. "Ayep. Not my finest hour. Of course, Will's had her share of messed up spells herself. I'm still not sure what the hell she did to my action figures last summer. And let's not even get into that whole 'my will be done' mess." He shook his head and turned to look me in the eye. "But that's not the point. The point is secrets. We keep 'em because we don't want anyone to find out, because we don't want anyone to get hurt. Right?" I nodded. "Well, to quote a great American squirrel, that trick never works. They always come out, and the longer it takes the more it hurts."

I looked down at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry."

He laughed softly, and I looked up into his smile. "Would you stop apologizing already? It's okay. Really. It's you I'm worried about." He paused. "I've... I've got some experience with the whole bad family thing. Will might've mentioned that."

I nodded. "She, um, she never gave me any details or anything." I waited for his nod before continuing. "But yeah, I knew a little bit anyway. She was so happy when you moved into your new apartment, Xander." She was so happy he got out of that house. That's how I knew it must've been much worse than she'd hinted at.

He smiled. "Yeah, she was, wasn't she? I think she was happier than Anya, even." He thought for a second. "She's the only thing that got me through, Tara. My whole life, she's been there for me. You can tell her anything, anything at all. She'll be there for you. You need to know that, she'll always be there for you."

I almost wanted to cry at the love in his voice. "I know. I do."

"Okay then. But there's things you're not going to want to tell her." I jumped a bit. It was like he'd read my mind. There really were things I couldn't see myself telling even Willow. He smiled sadly at my reaction. "I've been there too. If you're not ready to tell her, she'll be okay with that. And she won't hold it against you, not ever."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "There are... yeah, there are things I don't think I can tell her, not yet at least. That's really okay?"

He nodded. "It's okay, she'll understand." He laughed. "But it's not going to work, you should know that."

"What do you mean?"

"She'll know. There's nothing she doesn't know about the people she loves, Tara. Even if you tell her something she doesn't know, couldn't possibly know, it'll turn out she knew it all along."

I thought about that. "That doesn't make any sense, Xander."

He nodded happily. "Yep. That's our Willow for you though. She's one of a kind." His eyes lost focus for a minute, and I knew he was thinking about her. Then he shook himself and came back. "Sorry. Anyway, to reiterate, it's okay if you can't tell her some things yet." He paused and looked at me, almost shyly. "But if there's anything you really need to talk about, I'm here for you too. It might be easier, depending on what you need to get out. I might be able to help."

I reached over and pulled him into a hug. "You already have, Xander. And thank you, I'll keep that in mind." When I'd finished talking I started to pull away, but he held on to me so I stopped and we just stood there with our arms around each other for a while. It felt good. It felt like family.

Finally I looked up into his eyes. He smiled down at me and I knew what I had to say. "Willow loves you a whole lot, you know."

His grin could've lit up the whole state. "I know. She loves you a whole lot too."

I nodded, and I'm sure my smile was just as big as his. "I know. It's pretty cool, huh?"

"Yes indeed." He pulled away from me, but took my hand in his to lead me back towards the Bronze. "We should get back inside before Will sends out a search party."

We walked for a few seconds before I said, very softly, "Thank you, Xander. For everything."

He squeezed my hand. "You're welcome. Hey, could I interest you in a dance with the Xand-man?"

I did my best to look frightened. "I don't know, Xander, I'm not sure my insurance is paid up."

He laughed. "Oh, sure, every witch is a comedian these days. Well, you don't have the option of saying no. That's one of the rules in the ole Scooby Gang - pretty lady members have to dance with Xander."

I blushed a bit at that. "Well, if it's a rule, I guess so. I mean, I wouldn't want to break the rules or anything."

"Good thing too, 'cause the punishment for breaking the Xander-Dance rule is that you have to dance with me twice." He looked over at me and did his Groucho eyebrows routine.

I laughed and let him pull me back into the Bronze. Back to my family.