“Will, darling, I think we need to listen to what he has to say,” I interjected in a low tone. We stared at each other, silently communicating the way we had always been able to do.

“Fine,” she pouted. She glanced back to Giles. “Finish.”

Giles looked a little disturbed, not that I could blame him. It must have been extremely disconcerting sitting across from two remorseless killers who would have slit his throat in an instant, had he not been the possessor of some greatly-needed information. “Well, there have been several recorded instances of vampires that retained some of their human qualities after their deaths. They were capable of all sorts of things. They could feel emotions, like guilt and fear and misery, and their bodies did things that only a live body could do. They could cry, real tears, not just blood; they could breathe and eat real food, and could even live for extended periods without blood. On more than one occasion, a female vampire that had thought herself incapable of bearing children found that she was pregnant.”

My head whipped around to stare in horror at Willow. It made sense. The vomiting, the craving for food that wasn’t blood. . . “Willow?” I breathed hoarsely.

“NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!” she screamed in rage. She launched herself from her chair and grabbed Giles by the neck. “Damn it, no! I am NOT pregnant!” she howled. I pulled her away from him and gathered her into my arms, where I felt her trembling from her fury.

“How can these things happen?” I seethed. “How, exactly, can someone become a ‘half-vampire’?“

“It’s quite simple, really, and I’m surprised I didn’t expect it earlier from the two of you,” he murmured, almost to himself. “You see, when a vampire takes a human life, it takes the soul away from that person. However, some people don’t have a complete soul; in some cases, another person has a part of their soul. When two people are inextricably intertwined, they share their souls. When Spike took you, Xander, Willow still held on to a part of your soul, so Spike didn’t take it all away.”

“Damn, why do you people keep thinking Xander got taken first? Spike took me, and then I turned Xander,” Willow exploded huffily. Giles’ eyebrows raised in surprise, but he continued anyway.

“Fine, then, Willow, Xander still had part of your soul. You couldn’t be turned into a complete vampire, because part of your soul still existed, only in another body. And Xander, it was the same for you when Willow made you into a vampire. She still had part of it, the part that the vampire couldn’t take control of, and so neither one of you is a full vampire because you each have a part of the other’s soul,” he finished in a great exhalation of words and breath.

“So how come we didn’t know this?” Willow questioned quietly. I could sense it, not so much feel it, but I knew she was regressing to the mousy computer hacker she had been in life. Her vampiric passion was slowly slipping to the back of her mind, allowing her human instincts to take over. What was stranger was that I didn’t mind. I wanted to lose that part of myself as well. I held her hand comfortingly, in a supporting way, and she squeezed it as if to say that things would be okay for us.

“The power of suggestion, I would suspect,” Giles realized. He sighed. “Neither of you knew anything but that you were supposed to be vampires. You were dead, yet alive. You didn’t know that there was such a thing as half-vampires, so you didn’t know that there was anything you could do about controlling your vampiric urges. I’m assuming that you’ve had time to let your guard down and that is why your human qualities are presenting themselves now. I would guess, Willow, that you are pregnant and have been for a few months. What you are experiencing is morning sickness, most commonly sighted around month two or three. And Xander, you’re having time to deal with all the emotions you repressed during your lifetime. Now that you understand how much you love Willow, you’re giving her what you didn’t in life. Plus, it’s probably safe to say that you are more in tune with her than you were then. Your subconscious might have understood what was happening and was trying to give Willow the comfort she needed.”

I took a deep breath. Breath. It’s funny that I never thought about it, but I had been breathing for the last two years. I didn’t need to, for there were times that I hadn’t been able to, but I could. It was just a natural thing that I never really thought about. “So, what’s next for us?” I asked in the same quiet tone Willow had employed.

“If you are willing, we can begin training to help you learn how to control your natural tendencies,” he allowed. “Buffy, I’m sure, would be willing to help you, and there’s Angel, who would be able to teach you how to remain in control. He, more than anyone, would know what the two of you are going through and how to help you. However, you must commit yourselves to this fully. We can’t give you the support you’ll need if you continue to indulge in your killing,” he warned.

I looked at Willow. “Baby, it’s going to be hard,” I acknowledged. “This is new, and hard to take in. But the more I think about it, the more I allow my feelings to come to the surface, the more I want to try. The living part of Xander Harris wants to make things work. What about you?”

“Xander, I want to try, too,” she whispered. Tears filled her eyes. “My conscious is taking over, telling me that what I’ve been is evil. I always knew I was but I never cared. Now I do. I have to try and separate myself from what I was. But I can’t do it without you.”

“You won’t have to,” I promised. I turned back to Giles, determination in my eyes. “Whatever we have to do, Giles, we will. Just help us. We can’t do it without you.”

“Of course, Xander,” he replied kindly. I saw the tears in his eyes, and I knew he thought he had us back, that we would be what we once were. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that although Will and I would try, we were still vampires. We couldn’t go back to how things had been.

“Giles!” a terrified voice rang out. I turned around and hissed. Buffy stood poised with her crossbow aimed directly at my heart.

“Hey, Buffy,” I greeted her coolly. “We’re home.”