One day, Princess Melissa took her friend Susan on a picnic. They found a lovely meadow with lots of wildflowers, and decided to settle there to eat. They had just finished their cold macaroni and cheese with hot dogs when they felt the ground start to shake. Susan looked up to see what was causing the shaking and screamed. Princess Melissa watched as her friend was lifted off the ground and swallowed whole by a huge purple dragon. Then the dragon, who by this time was full (this particular meadow was not his first stop of the day), picked up the princess and took her to his dragon lair, high atop a mountain.

Princess Melissa was terrified that she would become dragon chow in less than a few hours, when dinnertime rolled around, but she hoped that a knight in shining armor would come to her rescue. And lo and behold, one did. She looked up, and there, standing in the entrance to the cave, stood a knight dressed in shining green armor. “How did you get up here?” the princess asked, baffled.

“The same way we’ll get down,” he replied. “The chair lift.” Then he turned to the dragon and started negotiating. He finally worked out a deal with the purple dragon where he would trade 200 pencils and his old computer chair for the princess. The dragon figured he could bury the pencils until the lead turned to diamonds, and he could sit and wait for his treasure in the computer chair (this was after computer chairs). The knight whisked away Princess Melissa before the dragon had time to realize that pencils were made out of graphite and the computer chair was extremely bad for his sensitive dragon back.

They rode down the chair lift and back into Camelot, where the knight returned the princess to her castle. But on the way, they fell in love and stopped in Vegas to get married by an Elvis impersonator. When they arrived back at the palace, the king was so overjoyed to see Princess Melissa alive that he offered the green knight whatever he wanted. The knight, who was now a prince, since he had married the princess, decided on free golf for him and his family for the rest of their lives at every golf course in Camelot. He soon regretted that decision when he discovered that Princess Melissa had been taking lessons from her little sister and was a much better golfer than him, but he learned to live with it. Years later, after the King had given in to old age, and Prince Josh had died valiantly in battle, the Prince and the Princess became the King and Queen of Camelot. But that’s a whole different story.