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Clarissa

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Clarissa Episodes

REVENGE 101
When Clarissa's younger brother Ferguson displays her training bra in show and tell, Clarissa hatches a plan to send Ferg Face into outer space via helium balloons and a straight jacket.

SCHOOL PICTURE 102
Clarissa is determined not to wear the same old blue cardigan and knee socks for her school picture and devises a scheme to outfit herself in the coolest clothes around.

NO T.V. 103
In an attempt to get around her mother's mandate that there be no TV in the Darling home for a whole week, Clarissa connects her computer terminal to the cable converter and nearly blows up the house.

URGE TO DRIVE 104
Although she's too young for a driver's license, Clarissa is consumed by the desire to acquire a 1976 Gremlin she finds in the want ads.

CLARISSA NEWS NETWORK 105
Clarissa decides that news is cool, and that she'd rather be Jane Pauley than anyone else in the world. Her first story is her mother's midlife crisis, which is triggered by a college pal showing up in town as a successful modern dancer.

HAUNTED HOUSE 106
Clarissa is faced with the terror of a visit from her Canadian Aunt Mafalda, who's capable of hugging the life's blood out of helpless young relatives. Clarissa enlists Ferguson's help in trying to scare Aunt Mafalda out of the house.

BULLY 107
When a greedy bully forces Ferguson to hand over his big sister's walkman, Clarissa decides to stand up and fight. It's not her fists but her spirit that KOs the bully, who winds up falling for Clarissa.

NEW ADDITION 108
Using her deductive powers, Clarissa determines that her parents are having a baby. She orchestrates a series of demonstrations to try to dissuade them, only to discover they're actually adding a new room onto the house.

BRAIN DRAIN 109
An I.Q. test result has Ferguson believing that he's really a genius. His dreams of creating a model society come crashing down when he goes head-to-head with Clarissa on a game show called "Brain Drain."

CLARISSA MAKES A CAKE 110
Clarissa pitches in to help celebrate her parents' anniversary. Unfortunately, a couple of things get in the way of the party--her parents stop talking to each other, and Clarissa's cake nearly explodes.

PARENTS WHO SAY NO 111
In an effort to break free from the shackles of "kiddie" jobs like baby-sitting, Clarissa asks for permission to apply for a job at the Baxter Beach Carnival. Her parents say no, but Clarissa perseveres--only to wind up running the day care center at the fair.

COOL DAD 112
Clarissa is mortified by the prospect of her dad speaking at her school's career night. To no avail, he tries to get hip quick. His speech winds up making her proud even if he does hug his T-square in the middle of it.

SICK DAYS 113
When Clarissa is asked to play the part of a column in a pageant celebrating ancient Greece, she hatches a plan to get sick. The pageant turns out to be really cool, but it's too late--Clarissa's plan has taken effect and she's grounded.

CLARISSA'S CRUSH 114
Clarissa gets a major crush on local weatherman Flip Fontana. Her rational head is horrified by the foolish state of her heart. Despite her best efforts, she can't stop daydreaming about him and trying to concoct ways to meet him. When she finally meets Flip, she discovers he's an airhead and concludes that the best remedy for a crush is actually meeting the person you have a crush on.

SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY 115
With a Mazda Miata grand prize as incentive, Clarissa enters a magazine contest called "My Brother--What a Guy" and grossly exaggerates Ferguson's qualities. The editor visits the Darlings and uncovers the truth about this sibling relationship. It turns out that honesty is the best policy after all.

SAM DARLING 116
Sam stays with the Darlings while his father is away and becomes the perfect son. Sam and Clarissa are working on a school project, but he spends so much time being polite to her parents that he never has time for Clarissa, who feels left out.

PRESIDENT FERGUSON 117
Ferguson runs for school president and turns the Darling household into his campaign headquarters. Clarissa and Sam plot to suppress Ferguson's ego. When Ferguson learns that most of his classmates don't know he exists, he uses Clarissa's popularity to help his campaign.

THE RETURN OF AUNT MAFALDA 118
Janet and Marshall go to New York and invite overbearing Aunt Mafalda to stay with Clarissa and Sam, just as Clarissa plans a kids-only slumber party.

THE GREAT DEBATE 119
Marshall plans to build a new video store in the mini-mall, but Janet protests the building of mini-malls and Clarissa finds herself stuck in the middle. Clarissa and Sam debate this issue in Mr. Futtstein's class as practice.

ME 101 120
After failing a magazine quiz on "How Well Do You Know Your Daughter," Janet attempts to get to know Clarissa better. After a crash course in "Clarissa 101," Janet catches on a little too well, becoming "one of the girls" and even dressing like Clarissa.

THE UNDERSTUDY 121
Clarissa gets chosen as the understudy for the lead in the school play. She is extremely happy about this "easy job" until the lead comes down with strep throat on opening night.

CAN'T BUY LOVE 122
Ferguson's classmate, J. Elliot Fundsworth III, befriends Ferguson to get to Clarissa's diary, which he sees as his ticket into the Junior Yacht Club. But once he's accepted, J. Elliot learns that belonging to select organizations is not all it's cracked up to be.

THE MISGUIDANCE COUNSELOR 123
The school guidance counselor makes Clarissa take Home Ec in an effort to make her more "normal." After a week of forsaking her true self in the name of normal, Clarissa concludes that one person's normal is another's abnormal.

SAM IN LOVE 124
Clarissa helps Sam win the affections of Elise Quackenbush, as any good friend would. But when Sam cancels plans he made with Clarissa to go out with his new girlfriend, Clarissa is no longer sure how she feels about this new woman in her friend's life.

THE NEW LOOK 125
A commercial producer spots Marshall in the mall and chooses him as "the perfect face" Marshall fully embraces his role as male model and engages in body building and calorie counting until he finds out he's been chosen for a dogfood commercial.

TOTAL TV 126
For a school assignment, Clarissa spends an entire weekend watching TV. After discovering that most shows on TV are boring, Clarissa invents "New and Improved Interactive Clarissa Vision." She also concludes that TV can be a lot more fun if we occasionally interact with it by turning it off.

JANET'S OLD BOYFRIEND 127
Joey Russo, Janet's first love, is back in town and she invites him to dinner despite Clarissa's apprehension, Ferguson's delight and Marshall's jealousy. Janet discovers the past is not all it's cracked up to be and it's better to look forward to the future.

DARLING WARS 128
Clarissa and Ferguson are left at home alone, together, for one glorious evening of pranks, insults and all manner of sibling fun. Things get a little scary, however, when noises are heard, muddy footprints are found and a man appears in the kitchen

POETIC JUSTICE 129
Suffering from writer's block, Clarissa turns to her computer to help her finish her poetry assignment. Not only does the computer "write" a strange but well-loved poem, but Clarissa is chosen to represent her school at a banquet for young poets as a result.

SAM'S SWAN SONG 130
Sam's mom, Debbie, comes to town to play in a Roller Derby match. Although she is the "Most Valuable Slayer," she announces that she wants to quit the derby and take Sam back to Seattle to live with her for good. As they reminisce about all the great times they've had together, Sam and Clarissa prepare to say goodbye.

PUNCH THE CLOCKS 131
Clarissa is broke and decides to get a job. She declines to use Ferguson's job placement business, but lets the librarian help her with her résumé and job search. Clarissa gets multiple job offers, all of which she accepts. A major burnout causes her to be fired from all her jobs and, even worse, to owe money in damages.

THE SILENT TREATMENT 132
Ferguson decides to torture Clarissa by giving her "The Silent Treatment." Clarissa retaliates by devising a software program designed to gross him out when he steps into the bathroom. But Marshall accidentally becomes the victim of this prank and Clarissa has no choice but to admit defeat to Ferguson.

INVOLUNTEERING 133
Janet recruits the whole family to participate in Volunteer Day at the Children's Museum. Clarissa desperately wants to get out of this assignment and lucks out when the museum closes because of boiler problems. Unfortunately, she unwittingly makes a suggestion that brings Volunteer Day, and a swarm of rambunctious tykes, to the Darling household.

TAKE MY ADVICE...PLEASE 134
Ferguson has fallen in love and is asking everyone for advice, including Clarissa, who wants to give him the worst advice possible. Yet every bad idea she gives him works in his favor and all the girls go crazy for him. Clarissa decides to destroy the monster she created. Her new advice to Ferguson is "just be yourself."

MARSHALL'S MIDLIFE CRISIS 135
Marshall's birthday is coming up and a mid-life crisis is getting him down. Meanwhile, Clarissa is obsessed with mastering driver's education, which she's taking next semester. She suggests that a new car would give Marshall a better outlook on life, but Marshall decides instead to move the family to Mango Island, a tropical paradise.

FOOTBALL FEVER 136
Marshall bets his neighbor that Ferguson can make the varsity football team. Ferguson, tempted by the offer of a cellular phone, practices in the backyard and proves himself inept. Then he gets a brilliant idea: He will market himself as The Smallest Student Football Player. Clarissa decides to wear Ferguson down with an overdose of exercise.

LIFE OF CRIME 137
Clarissa inadvertently walks out of a clothing store with a bustier she didn't pay for. She is overcome with guilt and has nightmares about being a hunted criminal. Sam and Ferguson want to know why Clarissa is suddenly so paranoid. When she finally confesses her crime, they help her solve the dilemma of returning the garment.

MARSHALL'S PARENTS COME TO VISIT 138
Clarissa is glad her grandparents are the one thing in her life that never changes. She looks forward to their visit because she gets to be the DJ at their anniversary party and plan non-stressful activities for these old timers. Things get complicated when they show up as radically changed people and Sam gets tickets for a Pearl Jam concert scheduled on the night of the party.

BLIND DATE 139
Sam sets himself and Clarissa up on a double blind date. Clarissa is beseiged by visions of a blind date from hell, but after Sam describes how cool her date is, she begins to think that she might be the geek. Meanwhile, Ferguson's attempt to represent his parents in s

THE FLU 140
When Marshall and Janet come down with the flu, it's up to Clarissa and Ferguson to take care of the household chores. Ferguson is sent to the store to buy ingredients for chicken soup, but returns with 8 pounds of chocolate goodies. A big snowstorm prevents Clarissa from making a return trip, and they have to take care of their sick parents with no actual food in the house.

ESP R US 141
Clarissa and her friend Olivia often share the same thoughts and tastes, so Olivia is convinced she's a psychic. To prove her wrong, Clarissa decides Olivia should take a psychic test. When the test results arrive, they're accompanied by a bill for $99.95. Now it's up to Olivia to use her ESP to pick the winning Lotto number so they can pay the bill.

COMMITMENT 142
Clarissa likes Clifford, but she isn't ready to go steady. He dates another girl who spreads a rumor that Clarissa is too fickle to commit. Clarissa decides to prove her wrong by going steady with another boy, who winds up sapping her energy with all his extracurricular activities. Meanwhile, Ferguson wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records by making the world's largest rubber band ball.

ROADTRIP 143
The annual family vacation to Lake Winnemucca is usually filled with doom and disaster. But this year is going to be different... the whole family is going to the Grand Canyon!

THE BICYCLE THIEF 144
Clarissa poo-poos riding her bike as she approaches driving age... until her bike is stolen and she realizes how useful it is as transportation.

BOY THOUGHTS 145
Ferguson convinces Clifford to star in his cable access show, called "Boy Thoughts." When the show becomes a hit, Clifford no longer has time for Clarissa

HERO WORSHIP 146
Eve, the meek and mousy new girl in school, worships Clarissa and starts copying her style. Clarissa gets fed up when Eve starts taking over her life

A LITTLE ROMANCE 147
Sam comes in after a bad date and Clarissa tells him he just hasn't found the right "one" yet. As they list the qualities of the perfect girl for Sam, it occurs to him that the perfect girl is... Clarissa! They try going out on a date but after a disaster of an evening, they both decide to just remain friends. Then they kiss.

THE ZONE 148
Clarissa goes to music class and the only instrument left is the flute. It used to be a drag to play but lately she's been playing effortlessly and beautifully. Mrs. Doppeldew, the music teacher, wants Clarissa to do a flute solo at next week's music recital. Clarissa becomes nervous and loses her concentration. She has to get back to "The Zone" where she can become "one" with her instrument.

TALE OF TWO MOMS 149
Sam's mom Debbie is in town for two weeks for the Roller Derby playoffs. Sam is upset because he never gets to see her and the hotel she's planning on staying in is across town. Clarissa invites Debbie to stay at the Darlings' house. The house becomes chaotic when Debbie tries to take over.

DON'T I KNOW YOU 150
Clarissa carefully scrutinizes a portrait she found in the attic of Madame "CL." Janet tells her it was her great-great aunt once removed. Olivia comes over and convinces Clarissa to dance with her in the talent show against champion talent show winner Cindy Sparkle. Olivia becomes sick with the flu and Clarissa has to go solo. She hopes her aunt's journal will give her some helpful show-stopping hints.

BABYSITTING 151
After being asked to baby-sit Little Elsie Soaperstein, Clarissa prepares for the treacherous task of watching the little monster.

EDUCATING JANET 152
Janet's a substitute teacher at Clarissa and Ferguson's school for two weeks. Clarissa feels it's cramping her style and she's miserable when the school offers Janet a permanent position.

mall claims court results in several countersuits.

THE CYCLE 153
Clarissa is dropping hints about how badly she wants a car, but her parents just keep saying, "NO CAR!" They didn't say, "NO MOTORCYCLE" though!

A NEW MOM 154
When Clarissa is given a history assignment to take something old, tired and worn out and reinvent it, she tries to remodel her mother.

EDITOR IN CHIEF 155
Clarissa becomes the editor in chief of her school newspaper. Sam also decides to work for the paper by writing alternative music reviews. Clarissa explains that she has to be objective and can't play favorites, but she's starting to feel like being a responsible journalist means being responsible for finding work for everyone else.

PIPER COMES TO VISIT 156
Janet's old college roommate, Kokie, and her daughter, Piper, come to visit. Clarissa tries to entertain Piper, but Piper remains aloof.

ALTER EGO 157
Clarissa and Sam go to a party dressed as cool, hip, outrageous characters. Clarissa creates a whole new persona named "Jade," meets a really cute guy named Paulie, and gets deeply involved in her charade.

SAM'S DAD 158
Clarissa and Sam sign up for the school intern program and experience the loony "real world" while working for each other's father.

THE FIRM 159
Clarissa needs some help filling out some scholarship forms for college. She's reluctant to ask her dad for help because every time she does, he goes power-crazy and takes over the situation entirely. The scholarship can be used to study anything... but what should Clarissa choose?

JANET & CLARISSA INC. 160
Clarissa has a class assignment to invent and market an environmentally safe product. Clarissa is inspired when she discovers her mom in the kitchen making health treats which are both delicious and bounce when dropped on the floor. What a great idea for a fun new food product: "Bouncy Balls." Clarissa actually has people interested in ordering Bouncy Balls, but can she and her mom go into business for real??

FERGUSON EXPLAINS IT ALL 161
Ferguson is unhappy about being the youngest in the family. No matter what, he's always the victim. But starting today, things will never be the same. Ferguson has ordered a pair of mind control glasses. A mere glance will have people in his power. He can hardly wait to try them out on Clarissa--she's the first family member he's going to put under his mind control spell.

DEAR CLARISSA 162
Since Clarissa has so many opinions these days, she thinks it would be really cool to be a professional opinion-giver. The school paper agrees to run her advice column, and pretty soon the column is getting a great response--despite the rather silly letters Clarissa has to answer.

U.F.O 163
Clarissa discovers that real science can be really weird. After interviewing a woman who supposedly spotted a U.F.O., Clarissa decides to get to the bottom of the U.F.O. phenomena herself.

CLARISSA GETS ARRESTED 164
Clarissa is tired of people being apathetic about important issues and she decides it's time to take action. When she discovers that Woolcott Industries is still doing animal testing at the local plant, Clarissa is determined to write an editorial blasting them. In addition, she and Sam stage a peaceful protest outside the plant, which ends up landing them both in jail, where they debate whose parents to call to come bail them out.

THE LAST EPISODE 165
Clarissa ponders how weird the time space continuum is. Clarissa's last assignment for the Dispatch will be an article dedicated to the future: Where will everyone be in 20 years?