In My Soul ... I'm Dancing

In My Soul I’m Dancing

I lay on my bed ... legs still so as not to start
that mysterious pain again …
But, in my soul, I’m dancing.

I sit in my chair listening to the slow deliberate
heartbeat of the music; I feel arms holding me …
the arms of a man who is no longer there …
As, in my soul, I’m dancing.

I glance out the window at the familiar sight of a grandmother
delivering her grandchild to daycare ...
her frail fingers holding her coat closed against the chill wind …
I envy her quick steps as she hurries along the road …
But, in my soul, I’m dancing.

I rise from the chair slowly
hands holding tightly to the upholstered arms
to steady myself as I straighten my body …
But, in my soul, I’m dancing.

My cane makes the thup-thup-thup sound on the carpet
as I cross the room and walk down the hall carefully
my free hand tracing the wall in case I stumble …
But, in my soul, I’m dancing.

Sometimes, I move like someone twice my age …
Sometimes, I let the pain immobilize me …
Sometimes, I feel the stinging tears of frustration …
Sometimes, I wonder why …
But always … always … in my soul, I’m dancing.

Jacqueline Allen
28/12/01

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