Where Is The Child?
As you gaze at your son and I wonder,
Where is the child I cared for?
You call his name so softly and
His eyes search in response.
Where is the little girl I knew?
Your touch is reassuring to this child;
He feels the love and snuggles in for more.
Where is the child I cuddled?
Could she be gone for good?
I sigh and close my eyes ...
And there she is!
She's three years old and running in the wind.
I open up my eyes ...
But then she's gone;
Just a fleeting memory ... an echoed past ...
I squeeze my eyelids shut to stop the tears
And she is back ...
Older now and going off to school ...
"I need a ride, a chocolate cake, some cookies ...
Can you come on Parent's Day?"
Where did she disappear?
I drift in thought and images
Pass through my mind like photographs.
She's nine, then twelve, and then a troubled teen.
What happened to that problem child?
Though memories still cry for all the wasted years,
The angry words, the countless tears,
The worry etched upon our mother's face ...
We all survived.
Life pulled at the layers of her;
Façades fell one by one until the
Person she was meant to be ...
The shadow of her inner self ... emerged.
Has that shadow gone?
I open up my eyes once more
And there you are,
No shadow that could not withstand the light,
But a woman cooing to her son.
Could this really be you?
You have borne a child and feel the
Tuggings of the heart when he is hurt.
When did you grow?
Each time you say "my son" I can't erase
The times you climbed upon my knee;
When you hung on real tight and
Looked to me for understanding.
Where is that child?
Oh, she's not gone forever!
I see her in the corners of your grin.
I see her when you hold your son's stuffed animals a bit too long.
I see her when you lean against my shoulder ...
When you clutch at my sleeve or come to me in tears
'Cause life's been hard that day.
She's hidden in the impish things you do.
She's in the stubbornness I see when,
As your sister, I step out of line.
But, most of all, I see her when I introduce you to a friend ...
I say, "Have you met my baby-sister?" ...
You smile as you look up at me and ...
There ... there is the child!
Jacqueline
05/10/85
Dedicated to my sister, Christine
with credit to
