A summary of Jax and Chloe by Deline

Jax and Chloe's romance started with, believe it or not, a couple of love letters.

Felicia had took on the project of writing Lila Quartermaine's memoirs, and when she found out that Lila and Edward had exchanged love letters, Felicia had to read them. The only problem was that Lila did not have them anymore. She had given them to her cousin Eleanor for safekeeping, since Lila's father would have surely burned them had he found them. Eleanor had long since passed, and Felicia discovered that she had given the letters to her niece, Chloe Morgan, an international fashion designer.

So Felicia tracked down Chloe in London to retrieve the love letters. When Chloe discovered that Felicia knew her distant cousin Lila, she was ecstatic. She had grown up hearing the story of Edward and Lila's romance from her aunt, and she had even memorized all of their love letters by heart. Chloe was, you see, a hopeless romantic.

So Chloe went back to Port Charles with Felicia to meet her cousin and Edward. Lila was everything that Chloe had expected her to be. The rest of the Quartermaines, however, well, they were crazy!

One night at a Quartermaine party, Chloe had to escape those quarreling Qs, so she ran outside in the pouring rain to the rose garden. She headed for the shelter of the gazebo. She turned around, and in flash of lightening, she saw the man that, unbeknownst to her at the time, would become the love of her life.

Jax and Chloe introduced themselves, had a laugh about the Qs, and shared a dance in the gazebo.

And soon, they were spending a lot of time together. They did lots of things together, such as playing matchmaker with their friends Simon and V. They went sailing, they went to the lake, and they even went to the Nurses Ball and performed on stage!

But the problem was--they hadn't kissed yet! Although they had several close attempts, but every time their lips were about to meet, something would happen and interrupt them.

One afternoon, Jax and Chloe were having a wonderful day at the boathouse, talking about how they loved their careers so much and how great it was to love your work. Shortly afterward, Chloe got some terrible news regarding her design company, Chloe Morgan Designs.

Chloe's late Uncle Herbert had financed her company. Herbert had wanted his niece to understand that a life without love, even with a satisfying career, was not a happy life. He had wanted his niece to know how wonderful love was, so in his will, he had put a stipulation saying that within five years after his death, Chloe had to be "happily married" or her company would revert back to Herbert's estate.

No one had expected Herbert to die so soon. Chloe was supposed to have forever to find her true love, but now, she had to fall in love fast!

Fortunately, her friends Jax, Ned, and Alexis, all stepped in to help Chloe figure a way out of this jam. She didn't want to lose her company.

But, there was another problem. Aunt Gertrude. Gertrude was Herbert's widow, and she was very greedy. Gertrude couldn't wait to get her hands on CMD, which would automatically become hers if Chloe did not meet the requirement of the will.

So, Chloe had to find a husband, and find a husband fast! The will only required the union to last for a year. At first, Jax seemed like a prime candidate, and he even confided to Ned that he was planning on marrying Chloe, but Chloe, on the other hand, was not so willing. She told Alexis that she didn't want to marry Jax, not because she didn't like him, but because she did! She liked him so much, and she wouldn't want her heart to get broken after the year was up.

Ned and Alexis talked it over, and they soon came up with the perfect solution for Chloe's problem. Ned would be her husband. Sure, it sounded a little crazy, but they certainly had no intention of getting married anytime soon, and Ned was known to be a "marrying man". Jax was secretly crushed at this, but he didn't let on. And they approached Chloe with the idea, and with a little nudging, she finally accepted.

The four flew to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding, but unfortunately, Aunt Gertrude showed up and threw a monkey wrench into the Fab Four's plan. Gertrude informed Chloe that a "quickie wedding" would nice suffice and meet the requirements of the will, and that she was full aware of what Chloe was doing.

It looked to be all over for Chloe, but Jax stepped in and saved the day. He told Gertrude that Ned and Chloe were not the ones getting married, but it was he and Alexis! And unfortunately for them, Gertrude insisted on staying around for the ceremony. So Jax and Alexis had no choice but to get married, and this whole plan was suddenly taking a life of it's own!

The Quartermaines had a hard time believing that Ned and Chloe were now engaged. Edward was outraged and declared that Ned and Chloe were not going to marry because they were cousins. Ned reassured Edward that there was no blood between he and his future wife, and that he loved Chloe very much. The Qs were still doubtful. And if they had a hard time understanding Ned and Chloe's engagement, they had an even harder time at understanding why Jax and Alexis were suddenly together! They explained that their time in the Sahara had brought them closer together.

Edward was suspicious. He had a feeling that Ned was trying to bolster his record company with Chloe's design company, and he wasn't about to let Ned try to upstage ELQ. He knew this whole thing was a sham, and when Gertrude told him of the will, he was even more convinced. Lila was not convinced as well, but Chloe and Ned eventually told her the truth. Lila agreed to help out in any way she could.

Jax and Alexis had no choice but to stay married. If they divorced, Gertrude and Edward would surely know that it was a fraud. To make matters worse, Jerry, after discovering his little brother had married Alexis, spilled the beans to John and Jane, and they quickly became attached to their new daughter-in-law.

So with both Gertrude and Edward watching the four of them like hawks now, they had to be much more careful. The idea of "sneaking around" completely turned on Ned and Alexis, and Jax and Chloe often found themselves stuck in the gatehouse living room all alone while Ned and Alexis were upstairs doing, well, that's pretty self-explanatory!

Before long, the day of Ned and Chloe's wedding arrived. Chloe was a nervous wreck, wondering if she was doing the right thing. And when Alexis shared with Chloe the love letter Ned had written to her, Chloe almost called the whole thing off. She hated the idea of marrying her friend's boyfriend, even if it was only a fake marriage. But Alexis insisted that she wanted Chloe to go through with it, so Chloe reluctantly agreed.

Meanwhile, Gertrude had been lurking around in places she wasn't supposed to. On the floor, she found a page from what appeared to be a love letter from Ned to Alexis. Alexis had accidentally dropped it. Gertrude squealed in delight, thinking she had the proof to finally prove her niece's wedding was a fraud.

The wedding began, and Jax and Chloe and Ned and Alexis looked longingly at each other as Ned and Chloe married each other.

And suddenly, things took a nasty turn. The priest asked if anyone had an objection to the union, and Gertrude stood up with the letter, claiming that the groom could not possibly be in love with the bride if he was in love with another woman. The four had to think on their feet quickly, and they explained that the letter was just a goodbye letter to Alexis. And how could Gertrude possibly know that without reading the entire letter? Gertrude was miffed, and Monica told her to sit down.

After the wedding was over, and the guests had all left, Ned and Chloe were about to head over to the hotel for their "honeymoon night". Chloe told Ned to go on without her, just in case he wanted to meet with Alexis. Besides, Chloe had to go find her shoes, which she had left in the gazebo. So Ned left, and Chloe made her way to the lighted gazebo.

Jax was there.

He always was, whenever she was thinking about him, he would always suddenly be there. Jax handed Chloe her shoes, and they had a laugh about the wedding and talked about Ned and Chloe's honeymoon in Rome.

And suddenly, Jax told Chloe that he had forgotten to kiss the bride. He leaned forward slowly and kissed her on the cheek, then pulling back. They didn't speak to each other, but they gazed at each other intently, both realizing that it was finally going to happen. Jax gently held Chloe's face in his hands and brought her lips to his.

They finally kissed!

In Rome, Ned and Chloe got settled into the hotel room. Suddenly, Jax and Alexis busted into the room. It had been Jax's idea for he and Alexis to fly to Rome for their "honeymoon" as well. That way, Ned and Alexis could have fun, and Jax could "rescue" Chloe.

So Ned and Alexis acted like the newlyweds and spent all day in the bedroom while Jax and Chloe went out sightseeing. To avoid being caught by Gertrude or her spies' prying eyes, they disguised themselves at German tourists named Sigrid and Bob (and sometimes Karl lol).

Jax and Chloe stopped at a café by Trevi Fountain, and afterwards, they ended up getting drenched in it. They also threw a coin into the fountain. It is said that if you throw a coin into Trevi, you will return to the city one day. So they made a wish, threw their coins in, and as they watched the fountain in the setting sun, they shared a kiss.

Trouble wasn't far behind though. Later that night, Jax and Chloe arrived at the hotel from another sightseeing adventure just in time to see Gertrude bribing a maid to let her into the Ashtons' honeymoon suite. Chloe told Jax to stall her as she climbed out of the window to get to the room. Jax distracted Gertrude, but he couldn't distract her for too long. Gertrude was determined to get into the room to catch Chloe's new husband cheating on her with Jax's new wife.

The maid opened the door, and Gertrude burst into the room. Ned was in bed with a woman all right, but it wasn't Alexis--it was Chloe!

Finally, Gertrude left, and Alexis sneezed as she crawled out from under the bed. After the incident with Gertrude, the four decided that the honeymoon was over!

After Rome, Jax and Chloe inevitably grew closer. While Ned and Alexis were busy sneaking around, Jax and Chloe did the same. They would sneak a kiss here and there. And one time, they managed to get away and have a romantic picnic together.

The fab four also made several public appearances, totally for Gertrude and Edward's benefit.

They managed to keep up the charade, and in no time, Jax and Chloe were very much closer. They were as close as they could get next to actually making love.

Just like the several failed attempts to share that first kiss, the same happened with every attempt made to get caught up in the moment. The first time they attempted to make love, the phone rang. It never failed.

One weekend, the four headed to a spa for a little R & R, and some alone time as well. Jax, not being able to resist, slipped Chloe's masseuse a twenty and gave Chloe a massage himself.

Chloe had known it was him the whole time. Afterwards, the two kissed, and one thing led to another. Suddenly, they were on the bed, on the very brink of making love.

But Gertrude was about to catch them. She was out in the hallway with a card key. She kept trying every door until she found the one her niece was in.

Back in the bedroom, Ned suddenly rushed in and practically pulled Jax off of Chloe. He had noticed Gertrude checking all the doors. He told Jax to get out and then he landed on Chloe, covering her mouth with his as Chloe lay there in confusion.

Gertrude came in, thinking she had caught them, but she had only caught Chloe with her husband! Gertrude searched the room frantically for Jax, knowing that he had to have been in there. Chloe's anger grew and she grabbed a pillow and hit her aunt with it. Ned called security. Alexis arrived, surprised at what was going on. Then Jax came rushing in, wondering what all the commotion was about. Finally, security came and led Gertrude out of the room. After that, Jax and Chloe decided that they had better not let things get that far again. They couldn't risk Gertrude finding out, and if they were lovers, it would be all over their faces. And hey, they only had to wait a little while longer.

They could wait, right?

No, they couldn't wait.

One night after an early dinner at Luke's with Ned and Alexis, Jax took Chloe for a midnight sail. And like he always does, he tipped the boat over, and the two were left stranded on a small island. It was November, it was cold, and they were soaking wet. Jax made a fire and they held on to each other, using their body heat to stay warm.

But of course, there was a better way to keep warm. Vigorous physical activity.

The two tried to resist, but eventually, their passion got the better of them, and they decided to make love. And they would have if it hadn't have been for the fisherman that caught them!

Jax and Chloe decided that now was not the time, and they were cold, and the fisherman was willing to give them a ride back. But once they got back to the docks, they decided that they didn't want to wait any longer. It was time.

Some time alone together without the risk of interruptions would be Heaven to Chloe, so Jax told Chloe that he would make it happen. They would meet in "Heaven". He would make the arrangements, and all she had to do was show up.

So Jax made plans for them at a cabin just out of town. Jax made sure Gertrude would not follow them, and they would finally be able to get away and make love to each other.

Jax had thought of everything. The room was perfect. There was music. There was champagne. They had each other. It was perfect. Chloe especially loved the bearskin rug by the fire.

And finally, it was about to happen. They kissed, and clothing was shed. And just moments before they could finally be together, something happened.

An itch.

Chloe had an itch. A horrible itch. An itch that wouldn't go away.

It was an allergic reaction to the rug!

And thus, another lovemaking attempt was thwarted.

Before long, it was already Christmas time, and a loophole in the will had been discovered! If Gertrude were to get married, she would lose claim to CMD. So the four decided it would be best to set her up with someone, even if for only a short time. They decided that Mike would be the perfect man for the job. After a lot of coaxing, and a lot of money, they finally talked him into it.

Mike's job was to get Gertrude to like him and marry him. And on New Year's Eve, Mike was to take Gertrude to Times Square to celebrate and hopefully gain her trust.

Meanwhile, Jax had a huge surprise for Chloe. He was going to take her around the world to ring in the millennium in four different time zones! So for New Year's, he flew her to Sydney, India, and Amsterdam. Their last destination was Times Square. But at the last moment, Chloe was suddenly fearful that they would run into Mike and Gertrude, therefore blowing the whole plan. So Jax made a detour and they flew south.

They flew to a Caribbean island.

And finally, there were no more interruptions. They finally made love!

When Jax and Chloe got back to Port Charles, they had an awful hard time keeping their hands off each other. The minute they got back, they were already making love on the couch. And that of course, is when Alexis caught them! Everyone was pretty embarrassed.

Mike bailed on the four. He wanted nothing more to do with this Gertrude business, so the four then decided that Alan could help them out, since Gertrude had took an obvious liking to him. Alan wasn't going for it, and it was clear that the four needed to talk him into it.

Meanwhile, Jax and Chloe were eager to be together again. The time they had just wasn't enough. So Alexis decided to help them out. Chloe, borrowing Alexis' jacket, met Jax at their cabin for a secret rendezvous. They made love and talked about going to Alaska.

When they got back to Port Charles, Chloe decided to make a last minute trip to the pastry shop across the street. Chloe was still dressed as Alexis, and Helena had been plotting to eliminate Alexis after she had been taunting her about Lucky Spencer's whereabouts. Helena waited in her car and was prepared to run "Alexis" down.

Chloe stood in the crosswalk outside the PC Hotel. She broke the heel to her shoe, and she and Jax were laughing about it. Suddenly, that was when Helena sped up, and the next thing Jax saw was Chloe being hit by the car.

Jax rushed into the street by Chloe's side. He called 911. Fear was in his eyes. He begged Chloe to stay with him. And as Chloe lay unconscious in the road, he told her that he loved her.

Ned and Alexis rushed over to GH when Jax called them and told them that Chloe had been in an accident. Jax held Chloe's hand as she was being prepared for surgery. He told Chloe that they were going to grow old together, and that she was going to be okay.

Alexis put two and two together and realized that it had to have been Helena who ran Chloe down. She had obviously mistaken Chloe for Alexis. Jax meanwhile, was a complete wreck. He just couldn't lose Chloe, not after they had been through so much to be together. The four started to realize that some things were just more important then these crazy marriages.

Chloe got out of surgery, and she was going to be okay, but she had some swelling in the head. They wouldn't know the extent of her trauma until she woke up. Jax stayed by her side, just waiting for her to wake up. And finally, she did.

But she couldn't see.

Tony explained that Chloe had some swelling in her occipital lope and that when that went down, her sight would hopefully return. Chloe tried to stay brave and positive, but suddenly being blind had turned her world upside down. She needed Jax more then ever. And it was then that Jax told Chloe that he loved her. Those were the three most precious words to Chloe, and she told him that she loved him too.

It had been 72 hours, past the time when Tony said her sight should return, but it didn't. But Jax kept tried to keep her spirits up. He treated her to a special Valentine's dinner in her hospital room and even took her out of the hospital for a few hours for a dance in the park.

Chloe was finally released from the hospital, and Jax took her to the penthouse. Chloe was so fearful that her sight would never return, but even if it didn't, just knowing that she could picture all of those wonderful memories of Jax in her head was comfort enough. Jax promised her she would see.

Soon afterwards, Jax made love to her, and afterwards as they lay on the couch wrapped up in a blanket, Gertrude busted in on them with a cameraman to take pictures of them. She finally had what she needed to prove Chloe's marriage to Ned was a fraud. Chloe got so angry that she got up from the couch, but she tripped and fell. The cameraman felt so guilty, not know that the woman he was taking pictures of was blind. He didn't want to be fired, and he admitted to being wrong, so Jax and Chloe let him go. Gertrude, on the other hand, was not going to get away with this. Jax called the police and reported a breaking and entering.

Ned and Alexis showed up just in time for the fireworks. Gertrude kept insisting that she was not the one in the wrong, and that the three of them were the ones that were guilty of fraud and should be arrested. Taggert didn't have time for Gertrude's blather. He happily her for breaking into Jax's penthouse and gladly carried her away in handcuffs. (lol)

And now, Chloe had lost her company. But she wasn't sad about it. She realized that this was what her Uncle had been trying to tell her all along. Nothing in life matters unless you have someone to love and share it with. She didn't care that she lost her company, because now, she had Jax, and nothing else mattered.

Chloe tried to adjust to life without sight. Things were getting better, and Chloe's positive attitude was shining through once again, even though in her heart, she was fearful that her dream of designing was gone just as gone as her company. After all, how could she design if she was blind?

But then one day, she saw a shadow of light. And Jax and Chloe celebrated, because her being able to see light was a very good sign that the rest of her sight would return. They celebrated with Ned and Alexis, but suddenly, Chloe was attacked with a severe headache and she fainted.

Chloe was rushed off to the hospital and into surgery. And when she opened her eyes, she could see Jax! Jax wanted to take Chloe out to celebrate. He got her blue dress and he dressed in a tux, and they were ready to get out of the hospital!

But then, Tony arrived and unfortunately, rained on their parade. He had more bad news. Chloe had a tumor. The tumor, if it grew big enough, would eventually affect Chloe's vision and cause her blindness to return. It was not known yet if it was cancerous or not, but they needed to run further tests.

Fortunately, the tumor was benign, but the bad news was that it still threatened her vision. Tony gave Chloe some medication that would hopefully stop the growth. The drug had some nasty side effects though: headaches, drowsiness, and even very vivid dreams.

Jax took Chloe to the penthouse and she rested. A terrifying dream of Helena running her over woke her up. Jax comforted her. He told her he was so scared when the accident happened. He didn't want to lose her, and Chloe told him that he was he had kept pulling her back. The two kissed, and then made love. Afterwards, Jax asked Chloe to move in with him, and she agreed.

However, Jax and Chloe were in for yet another obstacle. The medicine that Tony prescribed was not working, so they needed to try a different one. Jax began to get very frustrated, and he felt so helpless with the situation. So in order to feel like he had something that he could control, he went after ELQ, against Chloe’s wishes.

In the midst of all of the bad news, Chloe did get some good news. Gertrude no longer owned CMD; it went completely bankrupt. Jax and Chloe had been right; Gertrude really didn’t know how to run a design company. Ned and Jax stepped in to help Chloe out and she was soon on her way to rebuilding her company.

Jax, being a true romantic, wanted to make Chloe happy, so he took her to Russia for an escape from everything. And Chloe desperately wanted an escape. Her bizarre dreams were continuing, and Chloe eventually realized that she was dreaming through Helena’s eyes. And when she dreamed of Helena killing her own son, Stefan, she was quick to try to prove Helena as the guilty party.

Jax, meanwhile, was not going to give up the fight to save the woman he loved. He desperately continued to search for a drug that would stop Chloe’s tumor from growing and that would save her eyesight. And he finally found that drug, the drug that had been proven to work. But there was a problem. He couldn’t get his hands on it. He and Chloe later found out why. Helena owned the pharmaceutical company that manufactured it.

Helena had become aware of Chloe’s sudden psychic abilities and her need for the drug to save her eyesight. She used the situation to her advantage. She was willing to make Jax an offer that in her mind, he couldn’t refuse. One night of passion with her in exchange for the medicine to save Chloe’s eyesight. (Gag me! lol)

Chloe begged Jax not to have any dealings with Helena, so Jax met with Helena in secret. He met her on the yacht and they made a deal. Jax would go through with her sick plan, but in return, Helena had to not only give him the drug for Chloe, but she also had to sign over ownership of the entire pharmaceutical company.

But Jax was smart, and he was always a step ahead of Helena. When she least expected it, he tied her to the bed and gagged her. Then he taunted her as he found the medicine for Chloe and the necessary papers to give him ownership of the company. He left Helena all tied up. (haha!)

When Jax got back to Chloe, he finally had the medicine she needed. Chloe was a little angry to hear that Jax dealt with Helena against her wishes, but she was forever grateful to him, and she loved him so much.

But just as Chloe started to take her medication, the more she realized that her dreams would disappear. And once that happened, she would no longer be able to see through Helena’s eyes. Chloe knew Helena was behind Stefan’s death, and she wanted so much to prove it. Jax insisted that Chloe was not going to hold off on her medication on account of having these psychic dreams.

Helena, however, realized that Chloe’s insistence to use her dreams as proof that she killed her own son was a big problem. Helena felt she had no other choice but to eliminate Chloe.

One night, Jax took Chloe out for a romantic dinner in the park. Jax was trying to recreate the time they had gone to Central Park before Chloe had married Ned. Jax had a dinner of hot dogs prepared as well as a saxophone player.

But the evening took a turn for the worse as Chloe suddenly had a vision of Helena killing her. It frightened Chloe, and Jax knew he had to do something. Later, he caught Andreas and demanded to know what Helena’s plans for Chloe were. Andreas told Jax that he needed to get Chloe out of the country.

Meanwhile, Helena wasn’t the only one who was after Chloe. A very-much-alive Stefan had been spying on his mother via Andreas for the past weeks. He became aware of Chloe’s psychic abilities and decided to use them to his own advantage.

To get away from Helena and to protect Chloe, Jax took his love for a getaway in the South Pacific. Unbeknownst to them, Stefan had followed them there and was about to set a plan into motion that would change their lives forever.

Stefan had to get Chloe, but Jax was not likely to leave her side for any reason. Except for maybe one thing--Brenda. Brenda had long since passed in a tragic car accident. Her body had never been recovered, so there was always that slight chance that she could be alive. Stefan used this to his advantage and hired a Brenda look-alike to distract Jax.

The woman did exactly as she was told, and she would stand in the lawn in front of Jax and Chloe’s villa. When Jax saw her, he thought that maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. She looked so much like Brenda, at least from behind. He could never see her face, and so he had to see if it was her or not.

Meanwhile, Helena was on the island as well, and she was finally ready to put her plan to kill Chloe into motion. She was not going to be caught for killing her own son. The moment Jax left to go see if the woman was Brenda or not, Helena made her way into the room to find Chloe sleeping. She took a stiletto out and walked over to Chloe, prepared to slit her throat.

Suddenly, Chloe opened her eyes, and she saw Helena right above her, in disguise of course, but she could recognize those cold eyes anywhere. Chloe screamed out for help, and Jax, outside with the woman who suddenly flitted away, ran upstairs when he heard Chloe screaming for him. Jax kicked the door open, and Helena had no choice but to escape. Jax rushed to Chloe’s side. She was okay, thanks to Jax for showing up when he did. The two decided that it was time to go home.

Back in Port Charles, Chloe had been taking her medicine, and now, Tony informed her that the next step to eradicate the tumor was the radiation therapy, and then, she would be through with it.

Chloe was so incredibly happy, and one afternoon, she and Jax celebrated by going horseback riding and having a picnic in an abandoned stable. The two were ready to begin their lives together. No more Gertrude, no more Helena, no more tumor, just each other. By Monday, Chloe would have the radiation treatment and would have a clean bill of health.

Jax and Chloe made plans to go to Italy for Chloe’s fashion show, and while there, they would make a trip to Rome, where it had all started. Rome had been where they fell in love, and they would make a wish in Trevi fountain, just as they had before. Afterwards, the two gave into their passion and had an afternoon of wild lovemaking.

But Stefan had other plans for the two. He had obtained a picture of a woman identical to Brenda, maybe even Brenda herself, and had purposely planted it into the Port Charles newspaper. When Jax saw the picture, he told Chloe that he had to know for sure if it was Brenda. The woman on the island hadn’t been her, but maybe this was. So Chloe, sadly, felt she had no other choice. Jax had to find out if it was her, otherwise, they would never be able to have a life together. Chloe couldn’t compete with a ghost.

So Jax left for Paris to see if this woman was really Brenda. Chloe’s world was turned upside down yet again. The love of her life had just left to go see if he could find the woman he once loved. Alexis told Chloe that she should go to Paris and find Jax. Jax was obviously going though a lot, and just as he had been there for her, she needed to be there for him as well.

Chloe took Alexis’ advice and flew to Paris, delaying her radiation treatment. She caught up with Jax at the hotel. He had already seen the woman once, and he was convinced that it was Brenda. Chloe, with tears in her eyes, told Jax to go find her. He had to find out if it was Brenda, for their sake. Jax told Chloe that no matter what, he loved her, and they kissed tenderly. Then, Jax walked out of the door. Chloe cried and hoped Jax would come back to her.

Little did either of them know that this would be the last time they saw each other. Chloe picked up the phone, making arrangements to fly to Rome, her and Jax’s city. And the second she opened the door, a man grabbed her. And it was as if Jax had disappeared off the face of the earth.

*sniff*