The Great Big Adventure

Finale-Part One

So, the YomaHomos were on their way again, on their quest to vanquish Lord MoldyWart. They had martial arts!Stacy, kill 'em with gloom!Carin, perky!Paula, high!So, In your face!Luyba and potty mouth!Siana. They also had multi-colored coasters, a stew pot, and some other pretty useless things.

"Okay, so that's our strategy, right?" said Luyba. The team was in a group huddle about 3/4 a mile away from Evil Dude's Mansion thingy.

"Siana, So and me will weaken him by moaning about death and misery and all that crap." said Carin.

"Then, while he's covering his ears, So will burn some of Nicole's porridge near MoldyWart so the smell gets him tipsy." muttered Siana.

"He'll still be pretty powerful, so then Luyba will start throwing coasters at him. The colors will confuse him, and the coasters will, well, give him hurt." whispered So.

"What type of grammar is that??!!!" demanded Luyba.

"Anyway," continued Stacy. "I'll use my kung-fu to fly up and get the pot on his head."

"Yay! My tuuuurn!" shrieked Paula. "I will get high on Sun chips and put so many stickers on that sicko that he can't move. With the help of my hyperactive powers, I should be able to do it in 3 seconds!"

"Then we all beat him to pieces!" cried Luyba.

"Smithereens!" yelled Stacy.

"Death!" Carin said solemnly.

"Flesh and blood!" screamed So.

"Guys! Hello? Secret group huddle!!!!" yelled Paula and Siana.

"Oh. Right." said Luyba.

"I guess we got too emotional." said Stacy.

"Guys, you know we might all not make it out alive, right?" asked Siana.

"Yeah," muttered Carin. "This may be our last time together."

Stacy started sobbing like a maniac. "I'll miss you! I don't wanna lose you guys!! WAAA!!"

Luyba and Carin looked down at their feet. Paula and Siana put sad looks on their faces.

"Are you kidding me?" screamed So. "Oh my god, it's not a freakin' war! Isn't all this 'feelings' stuff urging you guys to puke??!!"

Everybody looked up.

"True." all of them said.

"Good, now let's cut this crap and go eat that American Idol turned wrong."

It had been 1/2 an hour, and the YomaHomos were quite tired. After a few moments, they approached a huge driveway. Funny thing was, the driveway wasn't in one piece. It was actually a big canyon with steep ridges. On the other side of the canyon/driveway, they could clearly see a grassy field where the sun shined bright. 

"Hey guys, come over here!" yelled Stacy.  The rest of the girls rushed over to where Stacy was kneeling. On a hard, terra cotta colored rock was a bold, metal switch. One side said "Rocky Ridges." and one read "Smooth Paths." Stacy was about to flip it when So shrieked "ARE YOU CRAZY?????!!!!"

"Geez, what's wrong with you So?" asked Luyba.

"Yeah!" said Paula, fuming. Stacy was crying, and Paula was usually very protective of her. "You hurt her!"

So looked at them like they were idiots. "You mean you guys really don't know?" They all cocked their heads at her and raised their eyebrows.

So sighed. "God, you peoples. If Lord MoldyWart took the time to build this friggin' thing, and he's well, EVIL, do you think he's gonna put a switch for you to go and attack him?! Would Saddam Hussein erect a sign that says 'Weapons of Mass Destruction Here'?"

"Sorta makes sense..." muttered Siana as she nodded her head.

"Well you didn't have to hit that hard." sobbed Stacy.

So looked straight at her. "I didn't even hit you, woman!"

This time it was Stacy's turn to have everyone stare at her. She stopped crying immediately.

"So, what are we gonna do then? Fly across this thing?" asked Carin.

The team thought for a moment. Suddenly, Luyba looked up. "The answer...is in your hair.

"I am NOT Rapunzel!" shrieked Paula, as she tried miserably to balance.

"Don't moooooooove!" echoed Stacy's voice at the other side of a ridge. "Hang on, or we're all gonna die!"

"If I get split ends, you're all gonna pay!" cried Paula. The team was, well, climbing on her hair. Luyba had realized that Paula had immensely long hair. She also realized Paula could haul 3 elephants if she tried with her hair...if she believed in one thing.

"Don't lose faith in your moon powers!" came Carin's voice. With these words, Paula gained new-found determination.

"This is so stupid." came So's voice.

"Yeah." Siana's voice echoed.

Paula was so angry that  she turned around, ready to yell at someone. She forgot she was also holding 5 other people on her hair. She lost balance, and the YomaHomos toppled over.

The team had been falling for quite some time now. Stacy, Luyba, Siana, and Paula had long given up screaming. Carin, and So however, had been holding an interesting conversation since the beginning of the fall.

"Hey man, this is sort of fun." said So.

"Hey ya," said Carin. "This is more fun than a roller coaster."

"Watch me!" said So. She star flinging her arms and legs out and about. "It's like an anti-gravity chamber!"

They heard Luyba's voice. (The two had fallen faster than the rest of the team because they had been at the bottom of the rope, err, hair.) "No, no, no! You're being pulled down by gravity, so how can it be like a anti-gravity chamber?!"

Right then, the YomaHomos spotted solid ground about 50 feet below them.

"Guys, we have a dilemma here!" yelled Paula.

"What is it?" said Stacy. She was falling higher up them all of them, mostly because she had clung on to the edge for a moment before she fell.

"The good news is, we'll stop falling!" shouted Carin.

"The bad thing is we'll smash our guts apart!" shrieked So. "No biggie." she continued sarcastically. 

"Don't we have a plan to get us out of this?" bellowed Paula. "We always have a plan!!"

"Well, the important thing is to just stay calm, and don't, I mean it, don't panic!" shrieked Luyba.

"WE'RE GONNA DIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Siana sobbed.

"Thanks, Siana. Always giving us confidence, aren't you?" said So.

The following is an attempt at an angsty paragraph, made to relieve me of my boredom when doing those dumb DBQ's. Have some tissues...or pain relievers, your choice, in hand, 'cause there are some chewy tidbits. And, for my style-of-writing purposes, there is, of course, subtle humor and oxymorons.

Stacy was silent, but tears streamed steadily from her face. Even Carin's face seemed softened. It seemed all so unfair for them. They had worked so hard, and come so far, and in the end, it didn't even matter. Everything was about to come crashing down, including them.

"Well, I guess this is it." screamed Stacy in an oddly low voice.

"I just wanna say, well, I don't regret this."  said Carin.

"I won't either." said Luyba.

"Yeah, I guess we had some fun." said So.

"We did so much." Paula said, while giving a sad smile. "It was the greatest time of my life. We got to know each other, you guys are like sisters to me. I don't regret anything."

"I DO!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Siana. "I'll never go to Harvard, do hard drugs with heaps of friends, go to wild parties, get a spanking job, get married, have children, and die rich!"

"Well, you're right 'bout the dying part." muttered So.

As the team neared the ground, everything started spinning. It was a twister of twirling images and sights.

The last thing they heard before they all blacked out was an unfamiliar voice saying, "Oh good, you're here. Why didn't you just use the switch?"

Hoped you guys liked it. Second part coming soon. Sign the guestbook or email me here with your comments.