Friends & Teachers

Me: You don't see me at home. I'm very violent.

Luyba: I have seen you at home.

Me: Well, you don't see me at home when I'm not there!

Mr Ralsky: Pass around the Kokaine, please. (holds up white object)

Me, Luyba, Payal, Omar: What??!!

Mr. Ralsky: It's a mineral!

Geena: Yes, it's true. I trade my children for used TV's.

Luyba: Omigod, Darryl...he's...he's changing!! He's a prep now! Look at that! It's a freakin'  North Face! ....Wait. Oops, that's not Darryl. But I swear, North Face or not, Darryl's changing I tell ya!

Bobby: Hey everybody, I have a huge ass!

So: What the hell has Omar got on the back of his gym shirt?

Me: A Trinidadian flag.

So: But that's so....so...

Me: Fascist?

So: Yup. Hey Omar, you're making all fascists look bad!

Me: *sigh* I can't believe Carin's leaving. She's gonna move to that stinky upstate place full of housewives a la Feminine Mystique. She's gonna become brainwashed by soccer moms! She'll live in a semi and marry a minister and make fruitcakes all day long!

So: She'll have 2 bratty kids and a bob haircut.

Me: And the the house will have picket fencing and pink and purple pansies!

Luyba: Overreacting, no?

Carin: What the?!

Fiona: Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

Luyba: I'm Jewish! Jewish! Ya hear me? I'm a Russian Jew, and damn proud of it.

Boudin: (to Paula) Hey Chinese girl, why don't you use some of your kung fu huh?

Boudin & lackies: Hoy eechiwa catama ansama!

Me: You might as well be speaking the real thing.

Carin: She doesn't know Chinese, idiot!

Me, Carin, Yoose-ma: See why your joke doesn't work?

Me: Well, you must like weird bands. (writes down Velvet Underwear)

So: I said Velvet Undeground!

Me: Ooops. He he.

Darryl: (After wearing a t-shirt and jeans during the Chinese Fashion Show) Hey guys.

Me: Great fashion show, Darryl.

John: Yeah, you looked great.

Alvin: Real fashionable.

Darryl: Of course, look at this outfit. Now this is real style.

On a day where the temperature was 3 degrees.

Ms. Salerno: Now, the French go to cafes a lot, it's a part of life. Many famous writers and painters get inspiration in cafes.

Gajan: I can't feel my feet.

Mr. Ralsky: Close the window, Luyba.

Luyba: (closes Window as gust of wind comes in) Whoa, that was like Whooo!

Mr. Ralsky: Uh huh...

Family

Me: (sarcastically) So if someone bullies me, I can take the gun and bring it to school?

Dad: No way! You'll get expelled, not to mention a whole lot of trouble!

2 seconds later

Dad: Better I bring it for you.

Me: Oh...eww. Look Gordo, it's a pic of decapitated heads! That's sick.

Gordon: So?

Me: But they're dead heads! Scary dead heads!

Gordon: You're against Grateful Dead fans?

Me: Mom, you never listen to me! My opinion counts too you know.

Mom: Mmm hmm. That's nice. 

Me: I mean, you treat me like a five-year old kid!

Mom: Pass the salt please. And eat your veggies.

Me: Hello?

Mom: Oh...sorry. What were you saying?

Me: *anime-like sweat drop and fallover*

John: You is a wangsta, Melody.

Melody: Or a wigger, in the case of IS72 slang.

Gordon: Wait... John, you're Thai, so that makes you a--

Me, Vivian, Gordon: Tigger??!!

Omar: I'm Trinidadian! Not a wigger, a tigger!

Me: So a French guy is a frigger?

John: So, you 3 gonna make Thanksgiving dinner for your family tommorow?

Vivian (Flipping through a recipe book): How about sweet and sour meatballs?

John: None of that ghetto Chinese food!

Vivian: Seasoned chicken rice?

John: Even more ghetto-er!

Gordon: How many donuts did you eat?

Me: 5

Gordon: Fattie!

Me: Hey!

Gordon: It's enough that you have freakishly long arms and legs, now you'll be a giant!

Me: (opens the door for my cousins, with a mouth full of pudding) Shey Gruys!