FINDING THE WAY HOME

By Jenna Vardy (StarGazerGirl)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Roswell, and I’m not writing these fics for profit, so please don’t sue me.  I’m just a fan who can’t seem to let go…

Distribution: Let me know if you want it and where it’s going, and I’ll probably say yes. vardy_jennifer@hotmail.com

Summary:  An alternate universe look at what life could have been like for the Roswellians.

Part One - Isabel

My name is Isabel Valenti.  I’m seventeen years old and I live with my parents and my brother and sister.  I’m a straight-A student, a member of the cheerleading squad and Homecoming Queen. 

And I’m an alien.

My mother and sister found me on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere ten years ago.  I was wandering around the desert, lost and alone, in the middle of the night.  I knew there were others out there like me – I could feel them – but I found them too late.  Just minutes before the car stopped, I saw them, the two boys like me, holding hands.  They both reached out for me, when we saw the lights.  Two round circles cutting across the darkness, speeding towards us.

I guess the lights scared them, and they ran off, leaving me behind.  And then the car slowed to a stop, and Mom came running towards me.  She picked me up and wiped the tears from my eyes – which certainly wasn’t an isolated incident as the years passed by – and brought me to the warmth of the car.  My sister had extra clothes in her backpack, and they dressed me and wrapped me in a blanket and fed me a chocolate bar.  Then they strapped me into the backseat and drove off, leaving my brothers behind. 

That was the last time I saw them.

My mother carried me inside and tucked my sister and me into her bed.  She kissed my cheek and told me to have sweet dreams.  I can still remember everything about that moment – how her hair tickled my cheek as she leaned towards me, how soft her lips were as they touched my cheek, how she smelled like roses and jasmine.  How warm I felt after the cold of the desert when she pulled the blankets up under my chin, how safe I felt when she stroked my hair and sang to me.  How my sister’s hand threaded through mine as she fell asleep.  How I knew, without a doubt, that this was where I belonged.

While we slept, Mom called Sheriff Valenti to report that she had found an abandoned child in the desert.  The next morning, when my sister and I woke up, he was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for us.  He asked me questions as Mom fed us pancakes for breakfast, but I couldn’t answer.  I didn’t know how to talk.

The sheriff arranged it with the social workers to let me stay with my mother and my sister, and was instrumental in arranging a speedy adoption.  Even now, a decade later, my mother still says that I was the one who brought her and Daddy – Sheriff Valenti – together.

Daddy was fascinated with me.  He and Mom were both horrified that anyone could abandon a child like that, and were positive that my inability to communicate and my apparent loss of memory was a result of the life I lived before they found me.  Daddy made it his mission in life to search for my real parents – he said he wanted to haul their sorry asses to jail for abandoning a little girl – but he never succeeded.  That’s because he didn’t know the truth.  He didn’t know that my parents couldn’t be found because they weren’t even on Earth. 

But then, I didn’t know the truth at first, either.

I didn’t find out what I really was until a few months after my mom and sister found me.  It was just a month before my parent’s wedding, and they decided to take all of us – my sister, my brother and me – for lunch at the Crashdown Café and then to visit the UFO Museum. 

I remember that day so well.  Mom was so happy, she let us kids eat whatever we wanted, and didn’t even object when my brother tried to eat the sugar cubes.  I ordered a Cherry Coke, Saturn Rings, and an E.T. burger.  My sister and brother got in a food fight, but not even that could ruin Mom’s good mood.  She’d been on this high since Dad popped the question on the day my adoption became finalized.  My sister’s father had left them just a few months before they found me, and my sister still swears, to this day, that if I hadn’t come along when I did, their lives would have been radically different.

Then we went across the street to the museum.  I was holding Mom’s hand – I was very clingy at that age, and I still am, probably a result of my fear that my family would leave me that way my real parents and the boys like me had left me, all those years ago. I remember skipping along beside her, and giggling when she whispered that I was her little princess.  Daddy held my brother with one hand and my sister with the other, and they were sticking their tongues out at each other behind his back.  We walked through the door, and stopped at the gift shop, at my brother’s request.  Daddy bought us all matching t-shirts, and my sister and brother immediately pulled theirs on over their t-shirts.  Mom put mine in a bag.  The picture of an alien scared me a little, and I was already wearing my favourite shirt, a pink t-shirt with a sparkly rainbow on the front.

My brother and sister ran on ahead, and I held Mom’s hand as we went to look for them.  And then I saw it.  The display of an alien autopsy.  Everything clicked all of a sudden.  It was as if I could hear the proverbial light bulb click on as everything fell into place.  All my questions about where I came from, why I could do things everyone else couldn’t, why I felt inexplicably pulled to the stars – it all made sense.

And when I saw the autopsy, I became hysterical.  Screaming, crying, shaking…Mom and my sister took me home, tried to calm me down, but nothing worked.  I was convinced people in white lab coats, like the mannequins I saw in the museum, would come and take me away.  I was positive that if Daddy found out, he would turn me in.  I was sure that that was the fate my missing brothers had suffered.

In the months afterwards, I was unable to sleep alone.  I would have horrific nightmares, dreams of faceless men snatching me away from Mom’s arms.  Or even worse, dreams of Daddy finding out I was an alien – a little green man like the ones who ruined Grandpa Valenti’s life – and sending me away from everyone I loved, telling me that he didn’t want me for his daughter anymore.  Every night, I would find myself in my sister’s bed, gripping her hand the way I did that first night.

I was also terrified of Daddy…but only when he was wearing his sheriff’s uniform.  If I saw him wearing that, I would run screaming from the room and hide in the hall closet.  It got so bad that after the wedding, he would change at the office.

My parents sent me to psychologist after psychologist, trying to figure out what the hell had come over me.  Why I had gone from a happy little girl to a timid shadow of my exuberant sister and brother.  Why I became hysterical if I so much as saw my father’s sheriff’s badge.  Why sometimes I would lay awake all night, crying like my heart was breaking. 

Eventually, they all reached the same conclusion: that I had suffered so much trauma in my early years that I repressed the memories, and my change in behaviour was the result of these memories coming closer to the surface.  They all said I would either remember my past or grow out of it in time, and it was all just a matter of waiting for me to remember.  All they could do was be there for me.

In the August before my first year of school, it all became moot anyway.  Daddy was offering a high-paying job with the New Mexico FBI field office, and he took it.  So my siblings, my parents and I left Roswell. 

We moved into a nice house in Albuquerque, one that was big enough for all of us to have our own rooms.  My sister and I shared a bathroom that linked our bedrooms, and my brother’s room was across the hall from mine...close enough that I could still creep into their beds late at night if I had nightmares.  Mom and Dad had a room downstairs, so it was like we had our own loft.  There was an extra bedroom that Dad turned into a playroom one weekend, which was eventually transformed into a den, as we grew older.

Mom went back to school, and got a degree in education, which she always dreamed about doing when my sister was little.  Mom and Dad suited each other well – his serious side balanced her free-spirited nature, while she got him to lighten up and have fun.  They truly are my ideal of the perfect parents.  Dad played football with my brother in the backyard on weekends while Mom taught my sister and me how to bake pies and the importance of the women’s movement.

I was happy, but I always seemed to need my family more than my brother and sister.  They would fight and tease, to the point where an outsider would think they hated each other, but if I so much as looked sad, they stopped immediately and concentrated on cheering me up.  I was the youngest out of the three of us, according to the birthday the social workers assigned me, and they felt they had to protect me.

Funny, isn’t it?  That the alien with the freaky powers would need the most protection?

We were a happy family.  An ordinary family that played Monopoly together once a week and laughed and teased.  Years went by and I began to think that my realization that I was an alien was all just a bad dream.

And then the bottom fell out of my happy existence.

*

Part Two - Alex

My name is Alex Whitman.  I’m seventeen years old and I live with my parents and my sister.  I’m a computer geek, member of Roswell’s hottest garage band The Whits, and dodge-ball king of West Roswell High.

And I know the truth – aliens really do exist.

I found out the truth nearly two years ago, when my best friend was shot.  Before my very eyes, I saw Max Evans heal her.  One minute, she was bleeding to death, and the next minute, she was fine.

That’s when life got weird. 

Luckily, Sheriff Hanson’s a little slow – he’s had his mind on other things, namely Maggie Sherwood – so no one questioned the whole I-spilled-ketchup-on-myself story.   But it also meant that we were let in on the big secret.  That Max and Michael Evans, and my very own sister, Tess Whitman, were “not of this Earth,” as they like to say.

Needless to say, the whole thing freaked me out more than a little.  I mean, one day, my screen saver was searching for evidence of alien life, and the next day, I find out I’ve been sharing a bathroom with one of them for over a decade.  It kinda screws with a guy’s head.

So I decided to get away for a few days.  Give myself time to let it all sink in.  I headed out in the desert to stargaze and ‘rough it,’ as my sister likes to call it, and try to process everything I’d heard and seen.  I came to two very important conclusions: that either we had all ingested massive doses of hallucinogens, or they really were aliens, and we were all in store for a hell of a ride.

The knowledge that I – Alex Charles Whitman – knew something that six billion people questioned was, to say the least, awe-inspiring. 

Unfortunately, though, the whole shooting incident wasn’t as low-key as we would have hoped.  Two tourists, in town for the Crash Festival, alerted the FBI.  Sure, they were far from credible – Larry and Jennifer were alien freaks, after all – but there was enough interest in aliens and paranormal activity that the Special Unit took two people everyone else had dismissed as nutcases seriously.  And we went from being a blip on their radar to worthy of a full-scale investigation.

Lucky us.

And I do mean us.  I sure as hell wasn’t going to let my little sister and my best friend go through this alone, dependent on Michael and Max Evans for their protection.  I wouldn’t trust Michael Evans, Mr. Rebel-without-a-cause, to take care of my dog, let alone my sister and my best friend.  He’d probably go right through them if it meant getting his precious answers. 

Then Liz and Max got involved, against pretty much everyone’s advice, and things between them heated up pretty quickly.  That didn’t help the whole Special Unit “situation,” as they liked to call it, because it just got more people interested in them.  Eventually, though, we discovered that our new guidance counsellor was an undercover FBI agent.

And then things got really weird.

Alien hunters, enemy aliens, Special Unit and two years later, I think we’ve finally managed to stumble to the other side.  Things have been pretty quiet, so we’re hoping it’s over.  That we can go back to being normal high school seniors.  That we can relax and have fun and hang out without having to hide from our enemies.

So why do I have this funny feeling that things are just beginning?  That this is the calm before the storm?

A couple of weeks ago, Max and Michael asked me to try and find their sister.  The night they were…well, “born,” for lack of a better word – there was another girl.  But a car stopped and they got frightened and ran away and they haven’t heard from her since.  So I’ve been going through adoption records for kids in that age group, trying to find her, but it’s like she never existed.

Tess keeps telling me to try harder, that she’s got to be somewhere.  That’s when I tell my sister that she’s welcomed to have a go at it, which usually shuts her up.

My sister.  I’ll never forget the day I came home from school and found her in our living room.  She was wearing a little purple dress and her blonde ringlets were in pigtails.  She barely spoke any English, but when she smiled and those blue eyes flashed at you, your heart couldn’t help but melt a little.  We had just moved to Roswell, and she was Mom’s first case.  Mom’s a social worker, and she fell in love with Tess from the moment she met her.  The rest was, as they say, history.  She brought Dad in to meet her, and Tess sat on his lap and flashed him her dimples.  A few months later, she was officially my sister.

Tess was found about six months after Max and Michael Evans, wandering around in the desert, which was why nobody’s ever really connected their appearances.  A rancher found her and brought her to Sheriff Hanson, and not long after, she came home with us for good. 

Liz and Tess became the best of friends quickly – Liz had been my best friend since my first day of second grade at Roswell Elementary, when she gave me an oatmeal cookie at lunch, and we did everything together.  When Tess joined the Whitman family, I just hauled her along behind me and Liz.  Pretty soon, they were inseparable.  Tess even got a job as a waitress at the Crashdown, the restaurant Liz’s parents own, even though she still claims it’s politically incorrect to portray aliens as slimy, four-foot high, green monsters.  But that’s my sister for you.

Tess, Liz and I pretty much gave the Evans boys a wide berth growing up, although I think Liz pretty much always had a thing for Max.  But we were the three musketeers; we didn’t need anyone else.  Not until the shooting, that is.  And when Tess and I watched Max Evans heal Liz, something clicked in my sister’s mind.  She dragged me home, after we’d made sure that Liz was okay, and she told me that she thought she was an alien. 

I told her that I thought she needed psychiatric help.

But then came the big pow-wow with the Evans boys and Liz, and we found out she wasn’t nuts.  That my little sister really was from another planet.  And so were the Evans kids.

Tess swears she didn’t know it was even possible to heal anyone.  The only thing she knew she could do were weird mindwarping things – which have come in helpful over the past two years.  She was able to convince Mom and Dad that we were actually around when we were off chasing our enemies.

Things are calm again, like I said.  And if we could just track down this last alien, I really think everything would be perfect.

So why do I feel like there’s something, someone, out there, waiting for me?

*

Part Three - Isabel

August 6, 2001

“Chia Head!  You used all the hot water!”

“Did not, Ditzy DeLuca!”

“Kyle,” I said seriously, hiding my smile, “Why do you even call her that?  You know that Dad officially adopted both of us after he and Mom got married.  It drives her crazy.”

He grinned at me.  “That’s why I do it, Izzy.”

“You’re bad.”

“I know.”

Then Maria appeared in the doorway, clad in the terry robe I bought her last Christmas.  Her blonde hair was covered with a towel, and a pool of water was forming at her feet.  “I’m gonna get you for that, Chia!”  She lunged towards Kyle, who had the good sense to duck.  He charged out of the living room, with Maria trailing after him.  Both of them were screaming insults at each other, and I winced as I heard a crash.  Probably Mom’s vase in the hall.  If I was lucky, she wouldn’t notice, and I could fix it later.

Mom came up behind me and I rested my forehead on her shoulder.  “Think those two will ever grow up?” she asked.

“Nope.  They like it that way.”

“And what about you?  Think you’ll ever chase your brother and sister around the house, threatening to pull out their hair?”

“Nope.  I like it that way.”

“And I like you.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Chia!”

“Give me back Mr. Squishels now, Maria!”

“I think he feels like taking a swim!”

“You wouldn’t!”

“I would!”

“If you throw him in the toilet, I swear I’ll rip the heads off of all your old Barbie’s!”

“They’re Izzy’s!”

“Mom!”

Mom sighed and started up the stairs.  “A mother’s work is never done,” she muttered.

I shook my head as I walked into the hall, and as I suspected, the innocent victim of Mia and Kyle’s latest battle was Mom’s favourite vase, the one Dad gave her on their last anniversary.  Carefully, I checked to make sure they still had Mom occupied upstairs before I waved my hand over the vase, returning it to its former appearance.

Smiling, I set it back on the table and rearranged the flowers.  One of these days, I’m sure Mom and Dad will wonder why that vase survived one of Mia and Kyle’s vicious battles or question my apparent flawless use of crazy glue, but until then, I’ll keep repairing the damage.  It’s easier than watching Mom fly off the handle.  And god only knows what could happen if she grabbed a newspaper.  She could do serious damage with that thing.  It should be registered as a lethal weapon.  Kyle and Mia were going to owe me for this one…

Kyle and Maria know the truth about me, about where I’m from.  I had no choice but to tell them two years ago, after the car accident.  Kyle had just gotten his license, and our parents had given him a Mustang for his birthday, so of course, Mia demanded a ride, and pulled me along with her.  We were pretty far out of town, in the middle of nowhere, when it happened.  An animal ran in front of the car, Kyle swerved to avoid it, and the car went down a steep embankment, rolling twice before finally landing upright.

The car was perfectly fine – but Kyle wasn’t.  He had banged his head pretty badly, and his arm was broken in a couple of places.  He was bleeding heavily from a gash on his chest, and I was pretty sure he had internal injuries.  I knew he wouldn’t last long enough to wait for an ambulance, so I healed him.  The silver handprint was the first sign that I wasn’t exactly normal.  That, and of course, having Mia see everything.  I had to tell them the truth.

They actually took it better than I expected.  They are my sister and brother, after all, and after more than a decade of settling their arguments and running interference with Mom and Dad, they knew I wasn’t out to conquer Earth like in those cheesy movies.  They were freaked out a little, sure, but if it were anyone else but me, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Mia ran screaming down the street or Kyle packed his bags and left town.  Eventually, though, they accepted that I was still me, still the Isabel Valenti I’ve always been.  Still the girl who helped Kyle with his math homework every night and baked him cookies when he had a bad day.  Still the sister that went on shopping marathons and cried over old late-night movies with Mia - hell, I was still the only person on Earth allowed to call her Mia.

In the weeks afterwards, they realized exactly how great having me around was for them.  Kyle had fewer sports injuries, thanks to Dr. Izzy.  And Maria swore she’d never go to a hairdresser or buy make-up again while I was around.  And they got in a lot less trouble with me repairing the damages they did in their mammoth battles.  No matter how many times they destroyed Mom’s vase, I could repair the damage.

I glanced around for something to shatter to replace the vase, and finally settled on an ugly statuette that we all hated, but had to leave on display because Dad’s boss’ wife gave it to us.  But if it became a casualty of a Maria-Kyle argument, even she would accept it.  I hate to admit it, but I got a certain amount of satisfaction from using my powers to turn it into dust.

“Hi, everyone!”

I smiled happily.  Dad was home, and he’d told me this morning before he left for work that he had a big surprise for us all when he got home.

“In here, Dad!”

“Hi, Princess,” he said.  “They get into it again?”

“Kyle used up all of the hot water, and Mia’s trying to get ready for her date.”

“Mom doing damage control?”

“Yeah.”

“Any casualties?”

“Only the statuette hell rejected.”

“They finally decided to target that thing?  I should raise their allowance.”

I grinned at that.  If he only knew… “So what’s the big surprise?”

He kissed my forehead as he headed for his room.  “You’ll find out at dinner, Miss Nosy.  I’m gonna change, so can you call for pizza?”

“One pepperoni, one with the works and one with hot peppers, right?”

“Izzy, you just need to tell them our name at this point.  We’ve ordered the same thing from Juan’s every Monday night for the past nine years.  I’d be surprised if they don’t make it in anticipation.”

I giggled.  “Don’t you remember the week it was just you and me, two summers ago, when Mom and Mia were visiting Aunt Kim and Kyle was at football camp, and we decided we’d skip pizza night?  Juan himself called to see if we were okay.”

Dad laughed at that.  “I had forgotten.”  He paused and looked at me hard.  “Was it really that long ago, Izzy?  You kids are growing up so fast…one of these days I’ll come home and you’ll all be gone, off to college and your own lives.”

“I’ll never leave you and Mom, Daddy,” I promised, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug.  “I’ll stay your girl forever.”

He tousled my hair and offered me a small, sad smile.  A knowing smile, that told me he was grateful for what I said, but that I would learn the folly of my words in time, and I vowed I would prove him wrong. 

“Go order the pizzas, baby girl,” he whispered, kissing my forehead again before he disappeared into his room.

*

Part Four – Alex

“Ready to go, Alex?”

I looked up from the computer monitor and ran my fingers through my hair.  “I just don’t get it.  How can an entire person disappear?” 

I don’t think I’ve ever been so frustrated as I felt in that minute.  Over the past two years, I’ve helped my friends track the movement of evil aliens and Special Unit FBI agents, but I couldn’t find one small girl.  I was seriously contemplating hanging up my hacker status, or just plain admitting defeat, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that this was something I had to do.  That I was connected to this girl, somehow, even though I’ve never met her, and at the rate this was going, never would meet her.  But something, some little voice deep inside, kept whispering that this girl was important to me – not to my sister or Max or Michael, but me, Alex Charles Whitman.  Like she was something I’ve been missing all my life without even knowing anything was missing. 

I must be certifiable, right?  Who falls in love with someone he’s never even spoken to, someone who doesn’t even know I exist?  But even if I couldn’t admit it to anyone else, I knew the truth.  That little voice, as insane as it sounds, was the whole reason why I’ve been devoting every waking moment to searching for the fourth alien.  Maybe she’s the beautiful blonde girl that haunts my dreams.

“Still no luck?” Tess asked, plopping on my bed.

I shook my head.  “Nothing.  No records of an adoption in New Mexico, Texas, Arizona or Colorado that could possibly be the girl we’re looking for.”

“Maybe she wasn’t adopted.”

“But I’ve checked the foster care system, too.  Their records are pretty complete if you hack in far enough.  No little girls between the ages of five and eight that could possibly be the kid.” I sighed, knowing that I’d exhausted that possibility, at least.  I rubbed my tired eyes.  “Maybe Max and Michael just dreamed her up,” I joked, knowing that Tess, after all these years of living with me and my slightly twisted sense of humour, would take me totally seriously.  Maybe it was mean, but that just made my jokes seems all the more funny…at least, to me.

Tess shook her head vigorously, her blonde ringlets dancing, and of course her response didn’t disappoint.  “No way.  Four pods, four aliens.” She stuck her tongue out at me when I snickered at her.  “What about private adoption?”

“The records could be sealed, and we could never find her.”  I sighed.  This was starting to give me a headache; it wasn’t like we hadn’t gone through all this dozens of times before.  I glanced at the clock and groaned.  “We’re gonna be late and we both know how much Max hates it when anyone’s late. He is gonna go seriously postal on our asses.”

Tess made a big show of dramatically standing up, and then grinned at me, her entire face lighting up.  “No he won’t.  We’re picking up Liz.”

I grinned back at her, catching on as to why she was so calm.  “And of course Max wouldn’t do anything to tarnish his reputation with the fair Liz.”  I paused, pondering the idea.  “Do you have any idea what we could get away with?” I asked as Tess pushed me out of my room and out to the car.  “Murder, I tell you!  Murder!”

Tess grabbed the keys from my hand, which I was waving around as I cackled like a mad scientist contemplating his next experiment.  She groaned and shoved me in the car.  “For that, Mr. Whitman, I get to drive.  I must say I am shocked and dismayed to say the least.  Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?”  Her voice mimicked the vice-principal exactly, and I couldn’t help but laugh as she wiggled her eyebrows and wagged a finger at me.

“No, my parents didn’t teach me any manners,” I parroted.  “They sacrificed me to make my sister a little princess.”

Tess smacked arm as she pulled into the Crashdown parking lot.  A few minutes later, Liz ran out and hopped into the back seat.  And then, far too soon, we were knocking at the Evans’ front door.

As we listened to footsteps approach, I linked arms with both of my girls.  “Ready to face the firing squad?” I asked, only half-kidding.

*

Part Five - Isabel

By the time the pizzas had arrived, Maria had managed to get a shower with hot water – thanks to some alien tinkering – and Kyle had safely retrieved Mr. Squishels.  And everyone was ecstatic the only casualty of the latest Valenti family battle was the eyesore formerly known as art.

“So what’s the big announcement, Dad?”  Kyle asked.  “It was all Izzy could talk about all day.”

“Yeah, Dad.  She’s like a dog with a bone – she wouldn’t drop it.  You shouldn’t have told her that this morning.  You got to go to work.  We had to live with her,” Maria added.

“Hey, don’t knock my breakfasts with Dad – you’re just jealous I found out there was a surprise before you did.”

“Chica, jealous is one thing I’m not.  You’re the only one crazy enough to get out of bed at six every morning to have breakfast with Dad – especially in the summer, when you don’t have to get up – and then go back to bed after he leaves.  Mom won’t even get up with him, and she’s married to the guy.”

“Hey, leave me out of it.  And if you guys don’t stop talking, you’ll never get to hear the big news.”

“So what’s up Dad?”

“Well…Kyle, do you remember Deputy Hanson?”

“Kind of…he was that guy that bumbled around behind you, when you were Sheriff, right?  The one that always called me son?”

I tensed the minute they started talking about Roswell, like I always do, no matter how much I try to relax.  It’s silly, I realize now, but my terror over Dad’s occupation faded the minute we drove out of the Roswell city limits.  But I was seven years old, and I didn’t realize that job-wise, as far as it related to my situation, Dad was jumping from the frying pan into the fire, and pulling the rest of us along with him.  The FBI were the guys in the white coats that haunted my nightmares.  I could ignore that, though, because as long as I was away from Roswell, alien capitol of the world, I could pretend I was just Isabel Valenti.  No one even knew that I was adopted, and I liked it that way.  I never wanted to go anywhere near Roswell, ever again.

“Yeah.  Well, a few weeks ago, I got a call from the mayor.  Apparently, Hanson’s in a bit of trouble.  Seems he’s been having an affair with the mayor’s daughter.  You might remember her, Slugger, Pixie.  Maggie Sherwood?”

“She’s our age!”

“Gross.”

“That’s the way the mayor felt about it.  He’s sending Maggie to boarding school, and Hanson’s been fired.”

“What does this have to do with us, Dad?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“I’m getting to that, Princess.  The mayor’s offered me the position of sheriff again, and Mom’s been offered a job as the new vice-principal and English teacher at West Roswell High.  We’ve decided to take it.”

“Dad, Mom, you can’t do this to me!  This is our senior year of high school.  You can’t just drag us across the state now.  What about my friends?  What about my boyfriend?”

“I’m captain of the football team!  This is my chance to get a sports scholarship, Dad!  And what about Tracy?”

“Relax!  Dad and I have already talked to the principal, and they have an opening on the team.  The former captain was caught using drugs, and he’s been suspended and won’t be able to play at all next year.  You should be proud, Kyle.  When we told him your name, he and the coach just about passed out.  Your reputation precedes you.”

“And what about me, Mom?  Are you going to import my friends and Jeremy to Roswell?  Make it all better for me, too?”

“Maria.  You still have friends in Roswell.  Don’t you remember Liz Parker?  She still sends you a letter the first of every month.  And this way, we’ll be closer to Grandpa Valenti and Grandma DeLuca.”

“They’re getting up in years, and Amy and I thought they would like to see you three more often.  And you’ve got Isabel and Kyle, Pixie.  Any of your friends can visit whenever they want.  It’s only a few hours drive.” 

“We really think this is best for everyone, kids.  Your Dad is getting tired of all the assignments that take him away from us for weeks on end, and we both think this could be the prefect solution for us.”

“This way, Kyle, I won’t have to miss any of your games.  And Maria, Isabel, I’ll be here when guys come to pick you up.  It always makes me nervous when I call home on Saturday nights and Amy tells me you’re out with someone new.  It’s my job as your Dad to screen them for you.”

“Kyle does that just fine,” Maria grumbled.  Kyle overheard her, and stuck his tongue out at her.  She made a face and threatened him with her pizza crust, which set off another round of bickering.

“Isabel?  You’re being kind of quiet.  What do you think about this?” Mom asked, peering across the table at me.  She had her ‘concerned Mom’ look on, and I knew I had to get out of there soon.

My bottom lip was quivering.  I had dropped my slice of pizza the moment they told us about the move, and now it was all I could do to control my tears.  “May I please be excused?” I whispered.  Mom nodded, a little sadly, and I managed, somehow, to walk calmly from the table.  Then I broke into a run as soon as I was out of sight. 

By the time I reached the relative safety of my bedroom, the tears were running down my face.  I looked around my room, staring at a decade worth of memories as if they belonged to a stranger.  Was that really the stuffed bear Dad gave me the night before he and Mom got married sitting on my bed?  Were those really the pompoms I used to cheer for Kyle as he made the winning touchdown last year?  Was that really the book Mom read fairytales to me from every night until I was ten?  Were those really the glow-in-the-dark-stars Mia and I spent an entire Saturday afternoon positioning perfectly when we were eight?

Pretty soon, this wouldn’t be my room.  Pretty soon, we would go back to Roswell.  Back to the place where everyone was trying to make a buck off of my very existence – hell, back to the place where my very existence would be no more if anyone every found out I really did exist.  Back to the place where my brothers abandoned me, left me, to fend for myself.  Back to the place where Dad would become obsessed with finding aliens again, where Mom would try to get us to visit creepy UFO museums for family outings, where my entire world fell apart once and probably will again.

Living here, in Albuquerque - here, where everyone thought Roswell and all that alien stuff was nothing more than a cheap tourist gimmick - I was safe.  I didn’t have to hidde and be afraid.

But all that was over.  I was going back to Roswell.

I threw myself on my bed as the tears came faster.

*

Part Six - Alex

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief when Mrs. Evans opened the door.  But our reprieve was short-lived; she told us to head up to Max’s room.

Why did I feel like I was walking to the guillotine?

Oh, yeah.  It’s Max, Mr. Control-Freak-of-the-Century Evans.

Tentatively, Liz tapped on the door, and pushed it open after hearing the muffled “Come in.”  I pushed open the door, and Liz skipped in.  She immediately headed for Max – big surprise there, I’m sure – and leaned over to kiss him.  I resisted the urge to gag as Tess and I averted our eyes.  There was just something fundamentally wrong about seeing the girl I’ve come to think of as a second sister macking with any guy.  I groaned a little as they began that whole stare-deep-into-my eyes, you’re-my-soul mate thing, as I made sure the door was securely closed behind us.  That last thing we needed was for Mrs. Evans to walk in on one of our meetings.

By the time I turned around, Max had pulled Liz onto his lap and she had a look on her face, the look that said it would take nothing short of nuclear warfare to pry her off him before she was good and ready.  I’ve seen that look before, and trust me – it’s true.

Michael was sprawled across Max’s bed, and Tess was sitting on the floor, her back to the bed.  I shrugged slightly, nothing new there, and assumed my usual position at the desk chair. 

Everything was the same as always, but that feeling I’ve had lately – the feeling that everything is gonna change in a heartbeat – has been getting stronger.  It wouldn’t surprise me if it happened today, even.

“Sorry we’re late,” Tess offered.

Michael only grunted in acknowledgement, but Max finally found a reason to tear his eyes away from Liz’s.  “Why were you late?” he asked, glaring at me.

I held my hands up in mock surrender.  “I wasn’t even driving, buddy.”

“It was really my fault,” Liz told him.  “I made them wait for me, and I made us late.  But I just got the most wonderful news this afternoon, and I was trying to help Mom before I left.”

Max smiled at her – not a regular smile, like a normal person, but one of those little half-smiles only for Liz, and it was clear that the control-freak had forgiven our minor transgression.  “What was the wonderful news?”

Liz clapped her hands and her eyes sparkled, making her look like the little girl I remembered.  “You and Michael don’t know her, but Alex, Tess, do you remember my friend Maria?   She was my best friend when I was little, before she moved to Albuquerque.  You guys met her a couple of summers ago, when she and her mother came to visit her grandma.”

I nodded, remembering the bubbly blonde.  She reminded me of the Energizer Bunny on speed, but I remember wishing I had a chance to get to know her better. 

Tess looked confused, so Liz whipped out a photo and tossed it over to Tess.  Her aim wasn’t accurate, and it landed next to Michael on the bed.  He picked it up and glanced at it casually before handing it to Tess, but I couldn’t help but notice that he stared at it a little longer and a lot harder than necessary before he gave it to her.  Michael Guerin, interested in a human girl?  Egads, was the world coming to an end?

“Oh, yeah, I remember her, now.  Talked a mile a minute, never sat still?”  Tess asked.  “Why’d she move, anyway?”

“Her mother married Sheriff Valenti, and he got offered some big government job, so they whole family moved.  Her brother’s Kyle Valenti, the football star that even the local paper runs stories on.  They say he’s going to be drafted after he finishes school.”

“So what brought on all these lovely memories?” Michael asked impatiently, which only served to further my suspicion that he really was interested in Maria Valenti.

“Well, Mom and Amy Valenti have kept in touch, just like Maria and I have, and Amy called my mom this morning to ask if she and Mr. Valenti could stay with us for a few days.  They’re driving down tonight because they have an early meeting tomorrow with a house realtor.  They’re moving back to Roswell!”  Liz looked around, excitedly waiting for our reactions.

“Why?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Liz grinned.  “Seems that Sheriff Hanson got caught with his pants down around his ankles.  With Maggie Sherwood.  The mayor wasn’t too happy with that, so Maggie’s off to boarding school and Hanson’s out of a job.”

“I heard that, too,” Tess added, her blue eyes glittering at the thought of the new gossip.  “I got the whole story from Gracie Cohen this morning.  Mayor Sherwood was practically in convulsions when he found out.  Gracie said he walked in on them.  Together.    You know what I mean.    Maggie told her that she’d never seen anyone turn so many shades of red.”  She giggled. “Seems the mayor was a tad upset at the knowledge that his darling daughter wasn’t as sweet and innocent as he thought.  And leave it to a good sex scandal to get city council to drum Hanson out of the sheriff’s office.”

“Really?  Marcie told me that they were at some cheap hotel that looked like the porno version of Aladdin.  Kinda kinky, huh?” Liz said giggling.

“Does anyone else see this as not a good thing?” I asked, cutting off my sister before she could respond.  After years of chasing after the two of them, I knew that if I didn’t put a lid on their little gossip session now, it could easily be a few hours before anyone else got a word in edgewise. 

“Don’t be silly, Alex.  All that’s gonna happen is that the cheerleading squad will need a new girl and people will point and laugh at Maggie,” Tess told me, waving her hand dismissively.

I stared at my sister incredulously.  “Hanson was an idiot, sure, but he was our idiot.  We knew exactly how to play him.  If this new guy, Valenti, hears any rumours about you guys, we could be royally screwed.”

“Alex,” Liz began.

“No, he’s right,” Max said.  “Valenti’s father was put away for chasing aliens.  He might just want to prove, once and for all, that Valenti, Sr. wasn’t as crazy as everyone thought.  And I’m willing to bet that he won’t be as easy to fool as Hanson.”

Michael sat up suddenly.  “You said he worked for the government.  What branch?”

Liz looked startled.  “I’m not really sure.  Maria never really mentioned it.”

Michael looked at me, but I was already turning on Max’s computer.  “I’ll do a search,” I told him, all the while hoping that this would be nothing, that Valenti was just a bean counter for the tax department, but the feeling I’ve had that something was about to happen intensified.

A few minutes later, my blood ran cold.  I had my answer.  “He’s FBI.”

“We’re screwed,” Michael said.

*

Part Seven - Isabel

It seemed like hours later when I heard the soft knock at my bedroom door.  I knew it had to be Mom or Dad – Mia never knocked, and Kyle always announced his presence verbally.  I sat up and waved a hand over my face, erasing all visible evidence of my tears.  “Yes?”  I was proud when my voice didn’t tremble.

“Honey, it’s Mom.  Can I come in?”

“Sure.  It’s open.”

“Are you okay, baby?” she asked as she joined me on my bed.  “I know none of you are really happy with the move, but you were really quiet at supper.”

“I’m okay, Mom,” I lied.  I’ve become quite good at lying over the years.  I should be an expert by now.  My whole damn life is a lie.  “It was just…a shock.  I didn’t really live in Roswell that long, so the only home I’ve ever really known is here in Albuquerque.”  I paused, deciding to tell her at least a partial truth.  “No one knows I’m not your biological child here.  They’re not sure if it’s you or Dad that’s my biological parent, but no one questions that one of you are.  People in Roswell…they’ll remember how I was found.  That no one really wanted me.”

“Oh, honey,” she whispered, pulling me into her arms.  I rested my head on her shoulder as she stroked my hair.  “It’ll be okay.  No one cares if you were adopted or not, and you know there’s no real record of it anymore, since Dad joined the FBI and had your records sealed.  No one ever really knew, anyway, outside Dad and me, how we found you.  We want you.  Your real family wants you, and we always will.  You and Maria are closer than any sisters I’ve ever seen, honey, and Kyle is almost as protective of you as Daddy.”

“I know, Mom.  I’m just being silly, I guess.”

“Isabel, no one has to know you aren’t my biological child if you don’t want them to.  You and Maria look enough alike to really be sisters.  No one will even question it.”  It was true; Maria and I did resemble each other vaguely, but only in the sense that we were both females with blonde hair, although I suppose I could pass as a biological relative.  I smiled up at her anyway, and she kissed my forehead.  “And if you want, we can tell people you’re my sister’s child, and we adopted you when your parents died.”

I thought it over, rapidly coming to the conclusion that that was a good idea.  If people ever connected me to the boys found in the desert, even if no one knew about their origins, it was too big a coincidence to ignore.  It would bring unwanted attention.  At least this would give me a cover story, a tie to my family that no one would doubt.  And they would have to really pry into my background to disprove it. 

I nodded, smiling at Mom.  “I’d like that,” I said softly, and she grinned at me, ruffling my hair the way she did when I was a little girl.  Then she smoothed it back in place and gave me a hug.

“Okay now?” she asked softly.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well, if you’re sure, I’ve got to go.  Daddy and I are driving down to Roswell tonight to make the final arrangements for the move.  We talked to your sister and brother about it after you left, so they already know we’ll be gone for a couple days.  I know it’s a shock, but everything happened so quickly, and we want to be settled in before school starts.  It’ll be easier for you kids that way.”

“Sure,” I nodded convincingly as she flashed a reassuring smile at me before she shut the door behind her.  I collapsed back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“Izzy?  You okay?” Mia asked, cracking the bathroom door that adjoined our rooms.  I could see Kyle peering over her shoulder.

“We heard what you said to Mom,” he said, as he straddled my desk chair. 

Maria climbed on the bed beside me, and I put my head in her lap.  She started braiding my hair, the way she always did when she was worried and needed something to occupy her hands.

“I’m scared,” I admitted, glad that they knew the truth, that for once in my life, I could be totally honest.  “I don’t want to go back there.  I was paranoid after I realized what I was.  And I’m scared that being back there will make Dad all alien-obsessed again.”

“Izzy, Dad would never do anything to hurt you.  If you tell him and Mom that you really don’t want to go, they’ll give up the idea.  You know, we know it, they know it – you’ve got them wrapped around your little finger.”

“What our idiot brother is trying to say,” Maria clarified, glaring at Kyle, “Is that Mom and Dad are always worrying about you, even more than Kyle and me. They already know we’re insane.  They’re concentrating on the kid they can still salvage,” she joked.  Then, seeing me smile, her expression turned serious once more.  “They’d do anything to make you happy, Izzy.  Mom’s always asking me if you’re upset or unhappy.”

“Yeah – after Maria, Mom doesn’t know how to deal with normal kids like us!”

“You’re one to talk, Chia!”

“Guys, really, I’m okay!” I shouted, laughing a little as Mia hopped off the bed and advanced towards Kyle, flexing her muscles threateningly.  Kyle took the hint, and with a last grin towards me, took off running for the door.  Then he stuck his head back in the door, just barely ducking the shoe Maria tossed at him.

“I’ll see you later, Iz – I’ve got a date with Tracy, and there’ll be hell to pay if I’m late.  I’ve got my cell on if you need me.”

“Are you going to tell her about the move?” I asked softly, noticing how he couldn’t help but wince a little.

“Yeah.”  He walked back into the room and slumped on the bed next to me.  I shot a glare at Maria, warning her to be nice, and she flashed a smile back at me before perching next to me.

“For once, I don’t envy your relationships,” I said sympathetically.  I felt bad for Kyle; he really seemed to love Tracy, and they were great together.  Mia, however, was another story all together.  She and Jeremy were together more because it was what was expected.  Cheerleader with the football player.  That’s partly why I avoided relationships.  I didn’t want to be pushed into anything I didn’t want to do.

“Izzy?  Don’t you ever want anything more?  I mean, you date half the football squad, but you never have more than a half dozen dates with anyone.  Don’t you want a boyfriend?”

“Sure,” I said, sighing softly.  I thought for a second, debating whether to give her my trusty ‘I haven’t found anyone worthy of being with me’ excuse, or to tell her the truth.  What the hell – Mia and Kyle knew all my other secrets already.  Why not this one as well?  “The truth is, I just feel like there’s something else – someone else – out there, waiting for me.  And I know I haven’t met him yet, but when I do…I’ll just know.  He’s the one, and until I find him, I’m just killing time.”

“Iz, that’s sweet and all, but how do you know that Bobby or Bill or Brian weren’t the “one,” and you just dumped them before you figured it out?”

Maria smacked Kyle’s arm and gave him an annoyed look.  “I, unlike our deluded brother, think that’s romantic, Izzy.  I totally agree with you.  Jeremy’s a doll, and some days I can even make myself think I love him a little, but I’ve got the same feeling – like there’s a mystery man out there, just waiting for me to find him.”

“Maybe he’s in Roswell,” I told her, giggling.  She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue before collapsing into giggles herself.

Kyle shot us both annoyed looks.  “I’ll see you two later,” he said.  I could hear him mutter “Sisters…” under his breath as he got up, and Mia and I exchanged glances.  Simultaneously, we tossed pillows at him and hit him squarely on the back of the head as he left the room. 

He just threw his hands in the air and continued on as our laughter chased him down the hall.  He knew better than to take on the Valenti women when we were in a mood like this.

I flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.  Maria lay down next to me, and for a while, we just enjoyed the silence.  “Do you really think he could be in Roswell?” She asked finally, trying in vain to disguise the hope that bubbled through her voice.

I smiled and shot her a look that asked her who she was trying to fool.  “Why not?  He’s got to be somewhere, right?  Why not Roswell?”

She nodded slowly.  “I wonder what he’s like…” she said dreamily.

I laughed again.  “What about Jeremy?  Don’t you have a date with him?  What are you still doing here?”

“I thought I’d blow him off, and we could have a Mia-Izzy bonding session.”

“Mia, I’m fine.  Go out and have fun.  You know if Kyle tells Tracy, the first thing she’ll do is call Jeremy, and he’ll be hurt if he doesn’t hear it from you, first.”  I paused.  “Do you know what you’re going to do about him yet?” I asked her quietly.

“I’m not even going to try the long-distance thing.  We’d never last.  Jeremy would be cheating on me before we were halfway out of town.  I’ll break up with him…but not yet.  Not tonight.  I need tonight – one last night where we can just be Jeremy and Maria, and I can pretend this is all a bad dream.  I have this feeling everything will be horribly complicated pretty soon.”  She hugged me and got up.  “I’ll see you later, okay?  Call me if you need me, and I’ll come home.”

I nodded, and tried to quell the feeling of foreboding that came over me.  The thing that scared me the most is that I think she’s right.  Things are going to get complicated. 

And I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

*

Part Eight - Alex

“Maybe not, Michael,” Max said weakly, pulling Liz closer.  “Did your parents say why he was taking back his job as sheriff?”

Liz shook her head.  “They just said that he wanted to spend more time with his kids before they left home.  And they said Amy Valenti’s going to be the new vice-principal and English teacher at WRH.”

By this point, Tess was hyperventilating.  Liz passed her a bag and told her to inhale and exhale, but one couldn’t help but notice my sister was beginning to look more and more like a Smurf.

“Breathe, dammit!” Liz told Tess, who pulled her head out of the bag long enough to glare at her.  “You’ve got to calm down!”

“What if I don’t wanna?  I think I’ve got a damn good reason to get upset, don’t you?  Because the FBI’s sending in another one of their little minions to watch us, hunt us down, capture us, test us, and oh yeah, how could I forget?  Exterminate us!”

“Perfect.  Just great, Maxwell.  They’re planting another agent in the school.”  By this time, Michael was pacing and running his fingers through his spiky hair.  Tess had to scurry out of the way to keep from being trampled.  “There’s no other choice.  We’ve got know other choice.”

“Michael, Amy’s not an FBI agent,” Liz told him, her voice sounding a little desperate.

“How do you know that?  Who’s to say that blondie and jock-boy aren’t undercover agents, too?  How well do you really know those kids, Liz?  They moved away eleven years ago.  They could be running the freaking Special Unit for all we know.”

“Wait, Michael.  What are you talking about?  What choice?”

“Max, get your head outta your ass.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  We’ve gotta get the hell out of dodge.  You know it, I know it – hell, if you told her, the cafeteria lady would know it too!”

“Gladys wouldn’t tell us to leave!” Tess said, sounding irrational.  “Gladys likes me!”

“Who the hell is Gladys?” Michael asked, stopping mid-pace and pivoting to stare at her.

“The lunch lady!” Tess screamed at him, before throwing herself in Liz’s arms and starting to sob.  Michael and Max simply stared.

All this time, I had been searching for Valenti’s personnel records.  “According to this, he’s been with the Albuquerque FBI Field Office for nearly eleven years.  Most of his cases have been in the violent crimes division – they handle things like kidnappings – and he’s done some drug cases.  He was with the detail that guarded the Vice-President when he came to New Mexico a couple of years back.  Some field work, but no mention of assignments that coincide with Special Unit activities – at least, none that we know about.” 

“But that doesn’t tell us anything, really.  The FBI isn’t dumb.  They’re not going to just announce that someone’s a member of their secret, alien-hunting Special Unit,” Tess whimpered, actually wringing her hands.

I scrolled down the screen and glanced at the personal information.  “Married twice; first wife Michelle, divorced, lives in Alabama, second wife Amy DeLuca Valenti.  Children: Kyle James, 18, biological mother Michelle, adoptive mother Amy Valenti, father James Valenti, Jr. Maria Rose, 18, mother Amy DeLuca Valenti, biological father Brian, adopted father James Valenti, Jr.  Isabel Jasmine, 17, mother Amy Valenti and father James Valenti, Jr.”  I paused, looking at that last line again.  “Wait.  Liz, didn’t you say that Amy and Valenti got married eleven years ago?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why do they have a seventeen-year-old daughter?  Under both Maria and Kyle, they have the biological parents listed.  This girl doesn’t.  So where did she come from?” I asked.

“An affair?” Max asked.

“Maybe she’s Valenti’s daughter, but the biological mother is dead,” Tess suggested.

“No.  I remember Kyle, too, and he was an only child.”  Liz paused, chewing her bottom lip and thinking so hard you could almost see the gears turning inside her head.  Suddenly, her head snapped up excitedly.  “Wait!  Now I remember.  I never knew Isabel, because my granddad got sick and Mom and I went to stay with him and Grandma before everything happened, but Amy adopted her right after Maria’s father left.  By the time I got back to town, they had already moved away.”

“Wait.  She’s adopted?” I asked.  “So why don’t I have a record of it?  I’ve been searching adoption records for the fourth alien, but nothing’s come up on her.  She’s even the right age.”  Somewhere, deep inside, I just knew.  Knew that Isabel Valenti was the girl that we’ve been looking for.  The girl I’ve been looking for.  The girl I’ve dreamed of all my life.

“You’re not seriously suggesting that the daughter of an FBI agent is the fourth alien, are you Alex?” Max asked, looking at me as if I’d suddenly sprouted an extra head.

“Why not?  It would explain why it’s like she fell off the face of the planet,” Tess told him, apparently recovered from her hysteria.  I had to grin at her.  My little sister trying to defend me…it seems ridiculous, she’s half my size, but she could hold her own against Max any day of the week.  Hell, she could probably pummel him into the ground if she wanted to.

“They’ve got a point, Maxwell.”

“But the real question is, if Isabel is like you guys, do they know?  The Valenti’s?” I asked.

Max stared at me, as if the thought was just occurring to him.  He’s become like a brother to me, over the past two years, but even I’ve got to admit that sometimes, the boy is slow.  He sighed, and grabbed Liz’s hand, pulling her back up onto his lap from where she was sitting on the floor next to Tess.  “Alex, you dig up everything you can find on all of them.  Liz, when they arrive, quiz them, ask them about Maria and Kyle and see if you can steer the conversation around to the other girl.  Find out everything you can.” 

“When are they moving here?” Tess asked.

“Before school starts, I would guess, but I’m not really sure.  I’ll ask when they get here tonight.”

“What about us, Maxwell?  What should we do?”

“Right now, nothing, Michael.  We stay as far away from them as possible.  The last thing we need to do, if we’re wrong and this girl isn’t the one we’re looking for, there’s no reason to get a former FBI agent/soon-to-be sheriff on our cases.  As far as he knows, we won’t even exist.  We’re just normal kids.  Got that?”

Tess’ head bobbed, her curls dancing, as we all stared at Michael.  We all knew that Tess wouldn’t be the one to break the rules.  That was Michael’s job.

Finally he nodded, albeit reluctantly.  “But I want to hear what you find immediately.”  He paused.  “And I’m keeping a bag packed.”

No kidding.  Michael Evans always keeps a bag packed.

The plan sounds simple enough.  I do what I do best – surf the net – and Liz makes nice to the mother of an old friend.  Easy, right?

So why do I have a bad feeling about all of this?

*

Part Nine – Isabel

I sighed and took a sip of my Tabasco-laced hot chocolate.  It was a warm night, and a hot drink really wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had, but there is a method behind my madness.  Hot chocolate’s been my comfort drink ever since I was little.  Every time I drink it, it brings back memories of camping trips with Dad on the odd weekend he could get away from work and cold winter afternoons curled up in front of the fireplace with Mom.  And right now, I’m desperate for any comfort I can get.

Maybe that’s why I have this need to stare up at the stars tonight.  It’s something I’ve done whenever something changes in my world, whenever I’ve felt lonely or scared or upset.  The stars have been my constant.  They give me something that not even my family can give me – a connection with home.  My real home, a planet somewhere out there next to one of those stars.

I’ve never dealt well with change.  It’s probably a result of all my neurosis…god knows I’ve got enough of them.  Moving to Roswell’s going to be a big change, and like usual, I’m not coping too well with the idea of moving itself, not to mention the whole alien-going-to-live-in-the-UFO-capitol-of-the-world thing.  But I know there’s no use getting angry like Kyle or hysterical like Mia.  It’s my role to be the calm one.

Sometimes, I get so tired of playing the game, being the Isabel Valenti that everyone expects me to be.  Sometimes, I want to scream, just to see if anyone would actually notice.  They certainly don’t have a clue who I am, and I’m sure they don’t care, either.  Except for Mia and Kyle, that is…if I didn’t have them, I think I really would go crazy.  They’re the only people who see me for me.  They accept me as I am and don’t expect me to be anyone other than their sister and friend.  But sometimes, even they don’t notice I’m screaming silently. 

And sometimes, I can convince myself that it doesn’t matter.

So instead of getting mad like Kyle or searching for Cyprus oil like Mia, I just smile and pretend to be a perfect little princess with the perfect little life who isn’t bothered by anything.  It’s what everyone expects, after all, and I wouldn’t want to disappoint.  Heaven forbid that should happen. 

And usually, the feeling passes, and I’ll wake up the next morning, and it’ll seem slightly tolerable for another day, so I’ll pull my mask back on.

Some nights, when I stare up at the sky and millions of stars twinkle down at me, I wonder if things would be different if I was with my real family - with the boys who left me alone in the desert.  I would love to think that it would be different, but I doubt it.  I’d still be the same person, right?  Still the same girl who is scared to death people will find out the truth about her and run in fear.  If I can’t be myself around my family – undoubtedly the best family on the planet – I obviously wouldn’t be any different around anyone else, even if they were like me.

Mia would tell me I’m crazy, if she ever heard me say that.  My sister’s always been an optimist, the glass has always been half-full.  But I’m a realist, not a dreamer.  I see the glass for what it is.  And I know that dreams can only lead to heartbreak.

“What are you doing?” Mia asked, dropping down on the grass beside me.  I pointed to the sky wordlessly, and she lay back and stared up at the sky for a few minutes silently.

“How was your date?” I asked softly, as I watched a single tear trickle down her cheek.

“He knows,” she whispered.  She looked so lost, so innocent, like she did when I first met her and she was trying to deal with the reality that her father had gone away and was never going to come back.  I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be all right, but I didn’t.  Because as much as I wanted to make anything better, as much as I wanted to wave my hand and fix everything, I couldn’t. 

Not even special powers can mend a broken heart.

“What happened, Mia?”

“Kyle told Tracy, and she freaked out.  Started crying in the middle of the restaurant.  Mindy and Dave were there, and they ran into us at the club and told Jeremy.  He was so angry, Izzy.  I’ve never seen him that mad.  He wouldn’t even let me explain…he just kept saying that I was lying to him, over and over again.  Then he told me it was over.”  She sobbed the last few words, and I pulled her into a hug. 

My heart was breaking for my sister.  This was the real reason I never got involved with anyone while I was waiting for the guy I dreamed about every night.  No matter how many excuses I made to myself and everyone else…I never got involved because I was scared…I know I couldn’t deal with the kind of pain my sister was going through now, and she didn’t even love him that much.  I know myself, cowardly though I may be, well enough to know that when I finally decide to open up to a guy, I’ll give him my heart.  And I couldn’t take it if he crushed it.

“It’s okay…it’s going to be alright…” I kept whispering as she cried brokenly.  Tears dripped down my own cheeks as I cried for Mia, whose heart was breaking, for Kyle, who had to leave the first girl he ever loved…and for me and my entire screwed-up existence.

Kyle plopped down beside us as Mia cried.  He pulled both of us into his arms and rubbed our backs comfortingly as we cried on his shoulder.  It’s a side of Kyle we don’t see often, but he really is a terrific big brother.  Even though they fight, he and Mia share this incredible bond.  They might scream and call each other names, but if anyone else dared to, they’d defend the other one to the death.  I’ve seen the proof in all the schoolyard fights in our younger years.

The bond Kyle and I share is different…I’ve always been exempt from his and Mia’s fights, partly because I’m the youngest, and partly because I’m a lot harder to bait then my fiery sister.  But Kyle’s the one who taught me to ride a bike when I was seven because Daddy was too busy.  He’s the one who cleaned my scraped knee after I fell off the monkey bars when I was eight and Mom was at school.  He’s the brother who defended my honour last year when Bobby Kendall was spreading vicious rumours about me.  He’s got a little bit of me in him, from when I healed him, and it makes me feel like he really is my brother in every way.  I know Kyle would do anything for me, and I would give my life for him.

Eventually, Maria’s tears turned into an occasional sniffle.  By that time, my tears had ceased, thanks to the comfort of Kyle’s arms, and I was simply enjoying being with both of them.  They are my only true friends…the people I hang around with at school don’t know me, not like they do.  They are my family, no matter what genetics may say. 

“Are you okay now?” Kyle asked both of us.

Mia just nodded, still too upset to talk, but I smiled at both of them.  Relief washed over me as I realized that I was home, with the two of them.  Maybe it’s silly, and maybe it would be obvious to anyone else, but I finally realized the truth.  My real home isn’t somewhere out there in the stars.  It’s here on Earth with my family.

So why do I still feel like there’s this empty spot in my heart?

*

Part Ten – Alex

I stared up at the stars and wondered if Isabel Valenti was looking up at the same night’s sky. 

It’s silly, I know, to be infatuated with someone I’ve never even met.  But after spending hours on my computer tonight, I’ve become more and more convinced that this girl is the missing alien. 

And that she’s the same girl I dream about every night.

Maybe I’m crazy.  Who dreams about a girl he doesn’t even know?  Who would actually believe that the girl who haunts my dreams is a real person and not just a figment of my obviously overactive imagination?  There’s no logical reason to even think that the girl I dream about is the missing alien.  Hell, there’s no logical reason to believe in aliens, I keep telling myself, but they’re real, so why couldn’t this be real, too? 

No matter what my head tells me, my heart tells me that she exists.  And I believe my heart.  I believe she’s real…that the girl I dream about and Isabel Valenti are one and the same…and the thought that she’ll be moving here soon is enough to make me float five feet above the ground and quake in fear at the same time. 

How is it possible to be the happiest and the most terrified you’ve ever been simultaneously?

For as long as I can remember, she’s been there when I fall asleep.  This beautiful blonde girl with incredibly sad eyes.  I’ve watched her grow up.  I’ve felt her pain, her happiness.  I’ve smiled with her and laughed with her and cried tears for her.  I’ve watched her playing with two other children, talking with an older couple.  Sometimes, I see her watching the night sky and crying quietly and feeling more alone than anyone else in the world.

She reminds me of me.

That’s what drew me to the stars, I think.  Because I know she’s connected with them somehow, too.  And ever since the first night I dreamed about her stargazing, I’ve been drawn to the night sky with some inexplicable force. 

The same way I’ve been drawn to her.

“What are you doing?” Tess asked, dropping to the ground beside me. 

“You ever wonder what’s out there?”

Her brow wrinkled, and she nodded, clearly confused, but willing to let me go where I wanted to with the question.  “Sure.  I mean, I have a world out there somewhere.  Maybe even a family.”

I sighed, suddenly feeling the need, after all these years, to tell her about my dreams.  Because Tess is my sister, my best friend, my family, even if she sometimes forgets she has a family here on Earth, too. “Tessie…I’ve been having these dreams.”

“What kind of dreams?” she asked cautiously, now thoroughly confused.

“I’ve had them since before you even came to live with us.  I’ve dreamed about this little girl, watched her grow up, for nearly twelve years now.”

“Who?”

I slammed my fist into the ground in frustration.  “I don’t know!  That’s the whole problem!”  My voice dropped to a whisper.  “I’m not sure.”

“Okay, so who do you think it is?” Tess asked, watching my face and knowing there was more that I wasn’t telling her.

“This doesn’t go any further than us, right?  Not even Liz.”

Tess’ blue eyes widened.  “But we tell Liz everything.”

“Please, Tess.  I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t talk about it, but if you tell Liz, she’ll tell Max, and I don’t want to do that yet.”

Tess nodded slowly.  “Okay.”

“I think the girl’s the missing alien.  Isabel Valenti.”  Tess opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off.  “Please don’t tell me I need to be committed.  I can tell myself that.  I know it sounds insane.”

“Okay.  Say I believe you.  Why do you think your dream girl is the fourth alien?”

“That’s just it!  I don’t know why I’m so sure, but I just know she is.  I recognize her, Tessie.  It’s like she’s a part of me that’s been missing.”  I looked back up at the sky.  “I don’t know why this is happening to me.  I just want some answers, Tess.”

Tess wrapped her arms around me.  “We’ll find the answers, Alex.  I promise.  It’ll all be okay.   We’ll find her, and everything will be okay.”

I hope she’s right.

*

Part Eleven – Isabel

I sat on the end of Mia’s bed and watched as she tore her room apart.  The good that Kyle had done by just being there with us was destroyed entirely when she walked into her room and saw the framed picture of her and Jeremy in its position of honour on her bedside table.

And in true Mia style, she got angry.  Really angry.

Luckily, the window was open when she tossed the picture, frame and all, on the front lawn outside.  It was quickly followed with the stuffed bunny he gave her last Christmas, his class ring, two photo albums, a dozen CDs, two shirts she’d appropriated from him, his letterman’s jacket, several books and her pompoms. 

“Mia, why are you tossing your cheerleading stuff?” I finally asked.  I had been silent up until now, knowing that she had to work out her anger on her own.

“Because I cheered for that moron, that’s why!” she said as she chucked a few candles and some incense that I assumed Jeremy had given her through the window. 

I finally stopped her when she was about to toss the diamond earrings he got her for her birthday.  “Honey, let me take those for you.”

“Why?  I don’t want them.  They’re contaminated.”

“Mia, diamonds are never contaminated.”

That made her stop in her tracks and giggle.  “Well, they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend.  And it would serve him right if I kept them…”

I grinned as she laughed harder.  It was good to hear her laugh again.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head and closed the window with a bang.  “I think I need some time alone, to process everything.”

“Are you sure?” She nodded again, and I stood up.  “I’m going to bed, then, but if you need me, promise me you’ll wake me up.”

“I swear, Izzy.”

I hugged her tightly before I crossed through the bathroom that separated our rooms.  She was putting up a good front, but I knew this was killing her.  And the worst thing was, for the first time in my life, I was helpless.  I couldn’t take away Mia’s pain.

I didn’t bother to turn on a light as I entered my room.  It was bathed in silvery moonlight, but even without it, I could’ve found my way around.  I know every nook and crevice of this room, but soon, it won’t be mine.  It’ll belong to a stranger, who’ll paint over my peaceful blue and cream walls.  A stranger who won’t know that there’s a secret compartment under the window seat that I made with my powers when I first moved into this room, a compartment that I’ve tucked away everything that’s ever reminded me of home.  A stranger who won’t understand that the bed has to be positioned exactly perpendicular to the window so you can see the moon as it traces its path across the sky and the stars as they twinkle down on you.  A stranger who won’t understand this room has been my sanctuary for over a decade – my place to hide when Mia and Kyle’s arguments got to be too much, my place to escape when my parents worried about me.  My place to dream and wonder about the boys like me.

Fighting a yawn, I pulled my shorts and top off and tossed them on a chair and hauled on one of Dad’s old shirts.  For once I didn’t have the energy to put my clothes away properly, and even stranger, I really didn’t care.  It could wait until the morning.  Hopefully, by then, I could shake off this feeling of melancholy.  Maybe everything would seem better after a good night’s sleep, like Dad always says.

But I’ve never slept well.  I’ve been plagued with nightmares all my life, and tonight was no different.

It was almost five am when I woke up, fighting for breath and drenched with sweat.  At least this time I didn’t scream and wake up Mia and Kyle.  Maybe I’m finally growing out of that stage.  Maybe, one of these days, weeks and months will pass by and I won’t need to run, crying, into Mia or Kyle’s room.

And maybe the moon really is made of green cheese.

Panting softly, I glanced around the room, still half-expecting the monsters I feared as a child to pop out of my closet.  It’s strange how unfamiliar my room gets this time of night, how it goes from warm and comforting to strange and scary.  It’s always darkest before the dawn, and tonight is no different.  Shadows darken and lengthen the corners of my room and I can’t even see my constant companion - the stars - anymore.

It’s like I’m the only person in the universe.  I think that’s what scares me the most when I wake up like this.

What was it I dreamed of this time?  I can’t remember.  I can never remember.  I can go into anyone else’s head and visit their dreams, but I can’t remember my own.  How screwed up is that?

I gave into the tears that had threatened to trickle down my cheeks since that one terrifying moment when I was suspended between the nightmare and reality, in that moment when whatever images my subconscious dreamed up to torture me invaded the safety of my waking hours.  Pulling my knees up under my chin, I slowly rocked on my heels and tried to convince myself that everything would be okay.

I hope I’m right.  But why do I feel like I’m just kidding myself?

*

Part Twelve – Alex

I’ve been awake since five o’clock this morning, when the girl of my dreams, Isabel, woke up from a nightmare.  I don’t know how I knew, but I did.  I always know.  And I spent the next few hours watching the stars slowly disappear, one by one, until the sun chased away the last of the shadows that clung to the corners of my room.

Isabel.  It’s so good to finally be able to call her by name.  In all these years, in all the times I’ve dreamed about her, I never knew her name.  Sometimes, I wondered about that.  Usually, I just shrugged it off, assuming that she either really was a figment of my imagination, or that I would find out her name when the time was right.

I guess the time is finally right.

I could feel her fear.  I think that’s what woke me.  But even after I was awake, our connection was still there.  I could feel her crying, feel her trembling.

The connection has always been there.  I haven’t always been aware of it, not at the beginning at least, but I’ve always been aware of her.  And as we’ve grown up, the connection’s only gotten stronger.

And I could feel it when she finally relaxed and fell back to sleep.  This time, I knew from experience that her sleep wouldn’t be plagued with nightmares, and I, too, relaxed. 

I began a search on Isabel Valenti.  I’m not sure exactly what I was hoping to find – something, anything, to prove that she was the fourth alien.  Something to prove that she was the girl I’m hopelessly in love with.

If the computer gods are smiling down on me, maybe I’ll even find a picture.

I got so engrossed in the search that I didn’t even notice when Liz tapped on the window and swung in.  It’s a habit she’s picked up from the Evans boy - sometimes, I swear their species is part ape.  They never use a doorway when there’s a window available.

“Hey,” she said softly.

I jumped a little, startled, and then relaxed when I saw her familiar face.  I swivelled my chair around to face her and she plopped onto my bed.  “To what do I owe this early morning visit?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

She gave me a tiny smile, which worried me.  Usually, if I did something like that, she’d turn seven shades of red or, at the very least, chastise me. 

And then she did something that scared me.  She started to cry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving to sit beside her.  I pulled her in my arms and rubbed her back in slow circles as she started to sob.

I’m not a typical guy – I’m not afraid of a girl’s tears, growing up with Tess as a sister and Liz as a best friend has taught me better than that – but I fully admit that the sight of Liz crying as if her heart was breaking, terrified me.  Liz didn’t cry easily, and even when she did, it was something she usually did in private, or over a tub of ice cream with Tess. 

“He-he’s going to leave me,” she wailed finally.

“Who?  Is this about Max?  I swear, Liz, if he did something to hurt you…”

She shook her head and sniffled.  I passed her a box of tissues, and she flashed me a tiny, grateful smile.  “I talked to the Valenti’s last night.  Amy and Jim.  Amy was only too happy to tell me all about her kids.  Maria, Kyle…and Isabel.”

“And…” I prompted.

“I’m sorry about your shirt, Alex,” she whispered, staring at my chest and refusing to look me in the eye.

I waved my hand dismissively.  “It doesn’t matter.  Tell me what you found out, Liz.”

“Amy said she was adopted, but claimed Isabel’s biological parents were her sister and brother-in-law.  She said they were killed in a car wreck, and then Isabel came to live with them afterwards.”

I watched as she wrung her hands, knowing there was more to it than that.  “What else, Liz?”

She finally looked up at me, and fresh tears glimmered in her dark eyes.  “But they were lying, Alex.  I know they were.  I could see it on Amy’s face.  I couldn’t read Jim’s, but Amy’s a lot like Maria – her face is an open book.”

“So why does that upset you?”

“Because that’s not all.”  She paused, and took a deep breath.  “And Michael will make Max leave me when I tell them.  I think he’s Special Unit, Alex.”

“Why?” I asked frantically, running my hands through my hair.  If Valenti is a member of the damned Special Unit, then my sister, Max and Michael…and Isabel’s…lives would be in danger.  I would die myself before I let anything happen to my sister.   It can’t be true, it just can’t.  Fate wouldn’t be that cruel – to give me the girl I’ve spent my life dreaming about, and then snatch her away.

“His reason for being sheriff.”  She laughed humourlessly.  “He said he wanted to spend more time with his kids before they grew up and left the nest.”

“And you think this makes him Special Unit because?”

“Alex, doesn’t that seem a little too convenient to you?  Give up an exciting, high-paying job – a job he told me he loved - to become a small-town sheriff, whose biggest excitement is doling out speeding tickets and breaking up the occasional barroom brawl?  Especially when your kids are gonna graduate high school in another year?”

I nodded slowly.  It did sound odd, but I couldn’t reconcile the man I’d seen in my dreams – the man Isabel Valenti adored – as a member of the bloodthirsty Special Unit.  It just didn’t make sense.

But what did make sense, these days?

*

Part Thirteen – Isabel

September 2, 2001

“You wanna tell me again why we had to leave at nine this morning?  It’s the middle of the night!  The freaking birds aren’t even up yet!” Kyle complained from where he was lounging in the back seat of my jeep.

I glanced over at Mia, who was driving, and fought to keep a straight face.  She was ignoring him completely and was instead belting out the lyrics to some 80s music that was blasting on the radio.

I twisted in my seat to face him.  “Nine o’clock is hardly the middle of the night, Kyle,” I told him, no longer able to suppress my smile.  “And I’m pretty sure we passed a bird a few miles back.”

“It is the middle of the night when you were partying until four am,” he retorted.  Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously.  “Wait a minute.  I saw you guys out by the pool when I stumbled upstairs to go to bed.  How the hell are you looking so damn chipper?  Did you use some alien voodoo?” he accused.

I laughed aloud at that.  I couldn’t help it – I was in an annoyingly happy mood.  The sun was shining, the wind was blowing through my hair, we were speeding down the highway – life was good.  Sure, we were headed to Roswell, but in the weeks since we first found out about the move, Kyle and Mia had managed to convince me that no one would find out what I was.

Besides, I suddenly felt drawn there.  It was almost like what I told Mia was actually real, and not wishful thinking – that the man of my dreams was waiting for me there, in the alien capitol of the world.

How’s that for irony?

And Mia reminded me about my other brothers, the ones who left me.  She said that maybe I could find out about my past, about what happened to them.  That possibility alone was enough to convince me to pack my bags.

“No, no alien voodoo,” I told him.  “Just a lot of caffeine and sugar.”

“Yeah, right,” he grumbled.

“Relax, Kyle.  You know you had fun at Paige’s party last night.”

“Well, they don’t call her Party Hearty Paige Hanson for nothing.”

“Did you see Janice Simms push Steve McHenry into the pool?  I thought he was going to kill her!”

“Nope – but I’m not surprised.  She did the same thing at the Fourth of July thing at Susan’s.  It’s becoming her MO – the guys on the team are plotting to take her down at the next one.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “I’m so happy Mom and Dad let us spend a couple of extra days with our friends before we joined them in Roswell.  I’ve got to admit, I never thought they’d go for it, but this time, they really surprised me.”

“It just sucks they insisted on taking Mia’s and my cars down to Roswell along with theirs.”

“Kyle,” I scolded.  “Most kids don’t have their own cars.  The only reason we got them is because Dad saved his bonuses.”

“That’s what I don’t get.  The FBI gives him a free car every year, on top of a really big paycheque, and he gives it all up to become a small town sheriff?  It just doesn’t make any sense.”

I shrugged.  It didn’t make any more sense to me than it did to Kyle, but I was in too good a mood to contemplate that now.  Besides, we were only about ten miles out of Roswell – we really didn’t have the time to debate it.

“Izzy!  Oh my god!  Listen!”  Mia cried, tugging on my arm excitedly.  The jeep swerved as she bounced in her seat.

I grabbed the wheel frantically and returned us to our lane.  “Have you lost it?”

“Damn it, Maria, in America, we drive on the right side of the road!”

“I come home in the morning light/ My mother says when you gonna live you life right/ Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones/ And girls they want to have fun/ Oh girls just want to have fun,” Maria belted out, singing along with the radio.

Kyle groaned and covered his face with his hands, slumping down in his seat.  The song has become Mia’s mantra in the last few weeks, ever since we found out about the move.  She’s been determined to make the last few weeks we had in Albuquerque the best she’s ever had.  And she’s dragged Kyle and me along for the ride.

“Come on, Izzy!” Mia demanded.  “The phone rings in the middle of the night/ My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one/ But girls they want to have fun/ Oh girls just want to have –” she sang.

I threw up my hands and laughed as she tried to bop along, sing and drive at the same time.  “That’s all they really want/ Some fun/ When the working day is done/ Girls - they just want to have fun/ Oh girls just want to have fun,” I chimed in.  Mia grinned back at me and Kyle whimpered a little.

“Some boys take a beautiful girl/ And hide her away from the rest of the world/ I want to be the one to walk in the sun/ Oh girls just want to have fun/ Oh girls just want to have,” we sang.

A sad look flashed on Mia’s face as she sang that verse, and I knew she was thinking of Jeremy.  They’d had another fight at the party last night, and it had taken me nearly twenty minutes to convince her to come out of the bathroom.  Everyone was shocked to see them screaming at each other, to say the least – Mia and Jeremy were the picture-perfect couple.  Kyle and I knew she really didn’t give a damn about each other, but no one else did.  They were the king and queen of the school – two of the beautiful people everyone envied and loved at the same time.  Seeing them as anything less than perfect – seeing them as human – was a real shake-up for most people.  I just hope that my sister will find someone in Roswell who will make her happy.

And I hope I will, too.

“That’s all they really want/ Some fun/ When the working day is done/ Girls - they just want to have fun/ Oh girls just want to have fun/ They want to have fun/ They want to have fun,” we finished, and Kyle let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s enough out of you two,” he told us, leaning forward to snap off the radio. 

Mia shot him a disgusted look, and was about to argue, when we spotted the ‘Welcome to Roswell’ sign.  I couldn’t help it – despite all my brave talk about being ready to go back, I turned a little pale.

“I guess this is it,” she whispered, pulling over.

“Are you okay, Izzy?” Kyle asked, looking at me closely.

I nodded, trying to ignore the sudden dryness in my mouth.  I took a deep breath and flashed them both a smile that we all knew was fake, but close enough to the real thing that they could ignore it.  “I’m fine.  Now, are the Valenti’s ready to take Roswell by storm?”

Mia looked at me closely, and then grinned back.  “Hell yeah!”

Kyle wrapped his arms around me from behind and gave me a quick hug.  “Roswell, look out!”

“Then let’s do this,” I told them firmly, hoping to quell the butterflies in my stomach.  “We’ll be fine.”

I hope I’m right.

*

Part Fourteen - Alex

Michael was pacing.  Again.

“So what you’re telling us is that Valenti and his wife have been here a couple of days, but the kiddies only arrived yesterday?” he asked, pivoting to face a startled Liz.

“Yeah.  They’re starting school with the rest of us this morning,” she repeated for the fifth time in under an hour.

I’ll never understand why the I-know-an-alien club has to meet at such ungodly hours.  Sometimes, I actually wish I never knew the secret if it meant the chance to sleep in instead of watching Michael pace back and forth across Max’s room.

But then I think about Isabel, and how I might never have had the chance to meet the girl of my dreams, and a few hours less sleep doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

“And no one’s seen them yet?” he continued, doing the best damn impersonation of a police interrogator that I’ve ever seen.  It was even funnier because he wasn’t even aware of it.  He was just being Michael.

Then I made a fatal error: I snickered.

Michael glared at me.  I swear, if Tess hadn’t assured me that they couldn’t slay us with death-ray eyes, after my first encounter with Michael Evans, I would’ve been preparing to meet my maker.  Michael gives a whole new meaning to the saying ‘if looks could kill.’

“You think this is funny, Whitman?  We’re only talking about the damn FBI invading Roswell.  Go ahead and laugh!  And having the fourth alien in their clutches – what are we thinking?  We should be throwing a freaking party!”

“Michael, calm down!” Tess told him, snickering herself at the disgusted look he threw at her.

“So what’s the game plan, Maxwell?” Michael asked, ignoring my sister and shooting me a final dirty look.

“Well, Liz knows Maria Valenti, and Alex and Tess have met her, so no one will be suspicious if they hang out together.  You and I will tag along, and hopefully we’ll be able to figure out if the other Valenti girl really is the fourth alien, and I’m still not entirely convinced that she is.  And if we’re really lucky, we can also figure out how much Valenti knows.”

“Luck?  You’re depending on luck?”

Personally, I thought we’d be lucky if we all made it out of there with our limbs intact, the way Michael was snapping at people.

“Michael…” he began.

“Wait.  Let me get this straight, Maxwell.  You’re telling me that you’ve changed your mind and now you don’t think Isabel Valenti is one of us?”

“Max, you saw the picture Alex found of Isabel Valenti.  Even you admitted that it could’ve been the girl you remember from the desert.  Why don’t you believe it’s her?”  Liz asked

Max sighed, running his fingers through his hair distractedly.  “We haven’t even met her yet, so we really can’t know either way.  It just seems too convenient, that the fourth alien would suddenly turn up in Roswell.  And, coincidentally, her adoptive father’s a former FBI agent.”  He paused, staring at his brother intently.  “I’m not saying it’s not her, Michael.  I hope it is her.  I want to find her just as much as you do.  I just think we’ve got to be careful.”

From what I’ve been told by Tess and Liz, and from what I’ve seen in the last few weeks, both Max and Michael feel extremely guilty for just abandoning Isabel in the desert the night they hatched from their pods, and that’s why they’ve been so determined to find her, to make sure she’s okay.  Max – the ever-cautious, ever-thoughtful Max – can’t decide if he wants this girl to be the one they left behind or not.  Liz told me that he’s not sure he can look the other alien in the eye, after the way they ran off without her, so he’s going back and forth on the is-she-or-isn’t-she issue.  Michael, however, is a different story.  But then, he usually is.  He always goes with his intuition, and right now, it’s telling him that Isabel Valenti is the fourth alien – and he couldn’t be happier.  He’s always wanted answers, from what I can tell, and he’s always wondered about this girl.  Tess told me that he’s hoping she’ll be the missing link to their past.

And me?  I already know Isabel is the girl I’ve been dreaming about for more than half of my life.  The picture was merely a formality – I could’ve described her features in detail from the dreams.  I would know her anywhere.  It’s like my soul recognizes her.  I have no idea what it means, but I know we’re connected.  And I can’t wait until I get to see her in person.

Is she the missing alien?  Who knows?  I think so, but if she isn’t, I won’t be terribly disappointed.  I don’t want to be near an alien – I can do that at supper every night.  I want to be around her, Isabel Valenti.  I want to see the girl I know she doesn’t show to most people. 

I’m hoping she’ll show me the real Isabel Valenti – the one she hides from the world, but shows to me as we sleep.

“Um, I hate to break up this little love-fest, but if we don’t get going, we’ll be late for school…and that’s probably not the best way to start the year, although you would get a chance to meet Mrs. Valenti if you got sent to the office…” Tess mused.  Her face lit up.  “We could skip…we’d definitely get sent to the office tomorrow, and we could go swimming,” she added enthusiastically.

I nudged her, frowning, and shook my head.  “I thought you wanted to go to Marcie’s party next Saturday, little sister, not sit a home all night.  You know Mom and Dad will flip if they find out you blew off the first day of classes.”

She shrugged and hopped up.  “Okay, spoilsport, we’ll do it your way.”  Then she grinned at me.  “Maybe you can invite the Valenti girl to the party.”

I smirked back at her.  “Maybe you can invite the Valenti boy to the party.”

She stuck her tongue out at me and grabbed the car keys off of Max’s desk.  “I’m driving,” she called over her shoulder, charging out of the room and down the stairs.

I shrugged and followed her.

“It’s going to be an interesting year,” Liz murmured, following me.

I couldn’t agree more.

*

Part Fifteen – Isabel

“Mia!  If you don’t hurry up, we’ll be late!” I called impatiently.  I’d been up for hours already, organizing my room – my way of dealing with situations that made me nervous.  The first day at a new school – particularly when you’re an alien starting a new school in Roswell, New Mexico – definitely qualifies as a situation that makes me nervous.

Dad grinned at me as he gulped down the last of his coffee.  He’s on his third cup, already – I think he’s a little nervous about his first day at the sheriff’s office, too – and he’s looking a little wired.  “Izzy, Princess, if she isn’t ready soon, just leave without her.  She can drive her own car this morning.”

I slumped into the seat next to him.  “We’re not really that late.  I’m just nervous about starting a new school, I guess.”

He laughed at that and ruffled my hair, the way he used to when I was a little girl.  “Isabel Valenti, nervous?  Is the world coming to an end?”

“I just want to fit in, Dad,” I told him seriously.  “Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No, Izzy, there isn’t.”  His own voice was serious now.  “I know it’s going to be hard, and I know Mom and I were asking a lot of you kids when we decided to move back here.  We wouldn’t have done it if we didn’t think it was the best thing for all of us.  But you know everyone’s going to love you.  And you’ll be with your sister and brother, and Maria’s going to introduce you to some of her old friends.  I know you’ll do fine.”

I smiled at him and began to sort through the mail Mom had left on the table earlier.  “This one’s for you, Dad, from Mr. Walker.  Wasn’t he one of the men I met at the office Christmas party last year?  What does he do at the agency, anyway?”

He glanced at it and tossed it aside casually.  “He’s in a different department than I was, Princess.  I’m not really sure what he does.  I just know him from the academy.”

I nodded and continued flipping through the mail.  A letter from Kyle’s girlfriend Tracy, a postcard from Aunt Kim, a few bills…nothing really interesting.

“So, Chica, what do you think?  Do I look spectacular or what?  Am I going to have to hand out drool buckets to the Roswell boys?”

I couldn’t help but giggle.  Mia always likes to make an entrance.  “You look great,” I told her, fighting to keep a straight face.

“You’re actually going out in…that?” Dad asked from behind me.  I glanced at him and laughed again.  His eyes were bugged out and his mouth was about two inches from the floor.

“Dad.  It’s called a tank top,” Mia told him.  “Don’t get all parental on me now.  Besides, I don’t have time to change,” she called over her shoulder, grabbing my arm and pulling me outside behind her.

“Maria Rose.  You, your mother and I will be having one of our little chats tonight,” he warned.

Mia spun on her heel as I climbed into the driver’s seat of the jeep.  “Dad.  I’m wearing a tank top and a skirt.  It’s perfectly decent and perfectly acceptable to dress like this for school.  In case you haven’t noticed, it’s incredibly hot out today.”

Dad’s eyes narrowed.  He and Mia are too much alike, which is why they get into major battles constantly.  Mom and Kyle are the same way – she always wants him to stay her little boy.  When he started dating Tracy seriously, I thought Mom would never recover.  It’s strange…in our family the adoptive parent is more like the stepchild than the biological parent.  Maybe that’s why no one in Albuquerque could ever figure out who was related to whom genetically.

And me?  I’m the steady one, a mixture of my headstrong sister and father and independent brother and mother.  I don’t make waves with Dad like Mia or make Mom afraid that I’m growing up too fast.  Sometimes, I think I’m the only sane Valenti.

“Maria.  That,” he gestured vaguely towards her clothing, looking a little embarrassed, “is not decent.  I can see more skin than you’ve got covered up.”

Well, it wasn’t an exaggeration; I had to give Dad points for that.  Every time she moved, the top rode up and displayed her newly pierced bellybutton – the thing that caused the last family chat – and the skirt was super short. 

I could see that Dad was getting ready to make a speech, and that Mia was getting ready to throw a tantrum, so I decided to intervene before we really were late.  “Dad.  I’m sorry, but if we don’t leave now, we’ll be late.  She looks fine.”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dad nodded.  Mia hopped in next to me and I pulled out of the driveway, waving goodbye as we drove down the street.

“Thanks,” Mia told me as she flipped on the radio.

I raised an eyebrow.  “Have you forgotten that the first person we have to see at school is Mom?”

Maria turned a little pale, and then waved a hand dismissively.  “I’ve got a sweater.”

“Why are you dressed like that?” I asked softly, knowing that it’s not her usual style.  Normally, I probably would’ve chalked it up to the usual first-day-of-school jitters, but she’d been acting oddly ever since Jeremy called her last night, and I’m pretty sure they fought.  Otherwise, she would’ve bounced into my room and told me all about their conversation – in detail.  Over and over again.

She seemed to deflate all of a sudden as I pulled into the parking lot of West Roswell High.  I switched off the ignition and turned to face her.  A tear trickled down her cheek, leaving a trail of mascara in its wake.

“I…just wanted to make an impression.  I wanted to prove to myself – and Jeremy – that I could find another guy whenever I wanted.  Do you know what he told me last night?” she asked angrily.  “He said that I would just be wasting my time looking for anyone in Roswell, because he was the best thing that ever happened to me, that no one else but him would ever love me…and if I was really lucky, he’d take me back if I grovelled enough.  He’s punishing me because Mom and Dad decided to move.”

I wanted to strangle that little idiot, but since he wasn’t around, I settled for hugging my sister.  “He’s wrong,” I told her firmly.  Now I knew why I had never really liked him.  How dare he say something like that to Mia – he, more than anyone else, should know how much she fears the men in her life leaving her.  If I ever get my hands on him, I’ll give him a rash that’ll make him itch for a month…maybe a year.  And maybe I’ll take a little jaunt into his dreams tonight and make him see things that’ll give him nightmares for a month.  “He’s a moronic imbecile, but you already know that.  I love you, Mom and Dad and Kyle love you.  Don’t give him another thought.  I know you’ll find Mr. Right here in Roswell.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah,” I answered, and I really believe it.  There’s a little voice whispering to me that this is where we’re supposed to be. 

She smiled at me, and the spunky, headstrong sister I know and love was back in full force.  “Can you take care of this?” she asked, sniffling a little as she waved her hand towards her ruined makeup.  “Use your Czechoslovakian powers for the force of good?”

I grinned back at her, happy she was feeling better.  She only referred to my powers as Czechoslovakian – her code name for my other-worldliness – when she wanted to tease me.  I glanced around to make sure no one was watching and quickly repaired the damage.  “All better.  Now, we’ve got to meet Kyle at Mom’s office.  Ready to face West Roswell?”

“She’s gonna kill me for wearing this top, isn’t she?”

I nodded, and looked around again.  Luckily, I had parked near the back of the lot, so there weren’t many people around.  And of course, the fact that the first bell had rung about five minutes ago, contributed to the significant lack of people milling about.  I waved my hand of the shirt, making the sleeves grow, transforming the tank top into a t-shirt.  “There.  That will satisfy Mom.”

Mia flashed me another smile and grabbed her backpack.  “Something tells me that this is gonna be an interesting year.”

I couldn’t agree more.

*

Part Sixteen – Alex

From the moment we pulled into the parking lot at West Roswell High, I could feel her.  The familiar buzz in the back of my head, the feelings I’ve come to identify with Isabel, intensified drastically, and I knew she was near.

Tess didn’t give me a chance to look for her, though.  Instead, she dragged me back inside West Roswell’s hallowed halls.  We made it just in time to squeeze into our homeroom as the first bell rang.

Liz gave me a questioning look as I slid into a desk across from hers.  “What took you so long?” she whispered as the teacher began to call roll.  “You two left the Evans’ before me and Max and Michael, but we arrived at school a good twenty minutes ago.”

I shrugged.  “Tess drove,” I said, and she nodded understandingly.  Tess was always fighting for the keys, but she was a notoriously bad driver.

“Hey!” Tess hissed, turning around from her seat in front of me and smacking my arm teasingly.  “I’m a great driver.”

“Sure, Tess.  Whatever you say.”

“I am!”

“Then tell me again how you managed to wreck the car while parallel parking?”

She stuck her tongue out at me.  “I said I was a great driver, not a great parker,” she said before spinning around to face the front of the room.

“Whatever you say, Tess.  Whatever you say.”

By this time, Liz was practically convulsing with suppressed laughter.  “Liz, I wouldn’t laugh if I were you,” Tess whispered.  “I could always tell Max that story about how you managed to beat up your dad’s car after that encounter with a shopping cart.”

“You wouldn’t.” Liz had on her poker face, but her voice wobbled.  I must remember to talk to her about that before we play poker with Tess and the Evans again…it’s time the humans won for once.

“Try me,” Tess told her, giggling.

That’s when I tuned out their conversation.  I knew exactly how it would go – the same way as every conversation they’ve ever had has gone.  Sometimes, when I was younger, I wished for something, anything, that would shake up the pattern we somehow got caught up in.  We were up-and-coming teens after all – we had our whole lives ahead of us.  Why should we be subjected to monotony already?

Then came the whole aliens-really-do-exist thing, complete with the FBI wanting to dissect them and evil aliens wanting to pulverize them.  That pretty much destroyed all shreds of normalcy, let alone monotony. 

And now there’s Isabel, the girl of my dreams, the girl I’m hoping to meet today.

I carefully studied the faces surrounding us, hoping against hope that I would see the beautiful blonde girl who haunted my dreams and my waking hours.  I didn’t really expect her to be there, in my homeroom – that would be too easy - but I couldn’t suppress the little surge of disappointment that shot through me when I didn’t see her.

I’ve never felt her so clearly before.  Not even when we shared nightmares of faceless men in white coats that wanted to hurt her.  It was like she was inside me, like we were one person, not two.  I keep expecting to turn around and see her standing next to me.

Mr. Smith passed me my class schedule, and I only had time to identify what it was before my sister snatched it out of my hands.  She leaned across the aisle and started comparing classes with Liz.  Mentally, I shrugged.  More of that monotony…they’ve done that for as long as I can remember, too.  It used to bug me.  But now, the monotony didn’t seem oppressive, the way it did before Max Evans saved Liz Parker’s life.  It seemed familiar, comforting.

“We’ve all got history first,” Tess informed me as the bell rang.

I grabbed my bag and trailed along behind them, still scanning the crowd.  I knew she was there somewhere.  It was only a matter of time before I found her. 

For just a second, I caught sight of a tall girl with long, golden hair.  I was positive it was her – Isabel.  I would know her face anywhere.  I could feel her anywhere. 

And then I blinked, and she was gone.

“Come on, Alex,” Tess called to me.  I heard her, but she sounded far away.  I had frozen in place in the middle of the hall, and people were swarming around me, pushing and shoving me in their hurry to get to class, but I didn’t notice.  I didn’t care.  Nothing mattered except Isabel.

I think I’m in love with a girl I’ve never even met.

*

Part Seventeen – Isabel

I strode down the hall with Mia trailing behind me slightly.  I’m taller than my sister, and she often has to run to catch up to me, but I couldn’t wait for her, and she knew it.  I had to give off an air of confidence, of self-assurance, or the wolves of the school would eat me alive. 

But it was really all an act.  I’m a good actress – people at my old school really believed that I was the Ice Princess I pretended to be.  Of course, I wasn’t supposed to know about that nickname, but how could I not?  It was a small school, after all.  I always pretended I didn’t hear them whisper about me behind my back.  I always pretended that I wasn’t aware that people either hated me or were jealous of me or adored me.  It hurt – it hurt like hell, actually – but it was better to put on the act than to let anyone besides my family get close to me.

I ignored the stares of the people in the halls as they gawked at Mia and me.  It was part of my school persona, the personality I clung to like a child clutching their security blanket.  From the very beginning, I knew that letting people see the real me was dangerous – for me, and for them.  It hurt Kyle and Mia, I knew, that I wasn’t always entirely open with them.  And it hurt them even more than I wanted to know every time someone told them what a bitch I was, but didn’t seem to really care.  Kyle came home with more black eyes than I can count, defending me to the vicious and cruel people at our school.

I cared, and they knew it.  I probably cared too much.  The people at my old school would keel over laughing if they knew how many tears the Ice Princess had shed over their viciousness.  But I couldn’t show people that I cared, because that would make me weak.  I was weak as a child, dependent on the mercy of strangers after my real family abandoned me. Those strangers loved me, though, and became my family, and most of the time I can convince myself that it doesn’t matter that the boys didn’t want me. 

But I can’t hide from Mia and Kyle.  They hurt for me, even if I wasn’t able to show them I was hurting for myself.

I’m beautiful, and I know it.  But sometimes, I wish I could look like someone else – anyone else – just for a few hours.  For once, I would love to be a normal girl.  Not an alien, not a beauty queen, not anything except me.  Isabel Valenti.

Mia and Kyle are hoping it will be better for me here.  I had tons of friends at home, of course – I was one of the beautiful people, after all – but they were more like casual acquaintances than real friends.  All the right people - people I was supposed to go shopping with or party with or date.  Empty, shallow people that only cared that I looked a certain way and drove the right car and wore the right clothes.  I would die before I went to those girls with a serious problem.  And the boys came and went, all wanting something from me that I wasn’t ready or willing to give, which made them resent and hate me.  The Ice Princess in action, they said when they didn’t think I would hear.  Sure, I had my brother and sister, and they were always willing to listen to my problems, but they had their own lives and I wanted to keep them as normal as possible. 

Truthfully?  I was damned lonely.

It won’t be better here.  I know.  I can already tell from the stares and the looks people are giving me.  I’m just a new commodity for them – the ultimate It girl, always hated and admired and despised and worshipped, but never really liked, not for who I really am.  Most people didn’t even bother to look.

For once, I wish someone would try to see the real me, the one only my family knows, and not just assume I’m a spoiled, beautiful girl. 

I stopped in front of my mother’s office, and felt my lips curve into a slight smile when I saw the words “Amy Valenti: Vice-Principal” shining on the little gold plaque.  Mom was so proud of that…when she and Dad had gotten back from their first trip to Roswell, she’d spent hours describing her office, and especially that plaque, to Mia and me.

“Ready?” Mia whispered, standing slightly behind me.  The halls had cleared behind us when the second bell rang, but I had this feeling that there was someone watching us.  I glanced around quickly, but I didn’t see anyone.  Mentally, I shrugged, and tried to ignore the tickling of recognition, of familiarity, that I felt at the base of my skull.

I nodded, flashing her an encouraging smile as I rapped on the door.  We both knew Mom was going to be upset that we were late, particularly if Dad had called ahead, and I suspected he probably had.

“Come in,” I heard Mom call from behind the thick door, and Maria pushed it open slightly.  Mom was standing behind her desk, looking nothing like our mother today.  She was wearing her favourite power suit, a confidence-booster for her first day at a new job, instead of the usual jeans and t-shirt that she wears at home.  Her brown hair was twisted up in a French Roll, instead of hanging loosely around her shoulders, the way it normally does.  It was disconcerting to look at my mother and not really recognize her as my mother.

“Hi,” I said, striding into the room.  Kyle was slumped in a seat across from Mom’s desk, and I chose the chair next to him. 

“You’re late,” she told us, and I was strangely relieved that her voice sounded the same.

“I know, and I’m sorry.  It was all my fault – I had to change, and I made Izzy late,” Mia replied.

Mom smiled at us, and I felt a little of the tension in my shoulders lessen.  It’s strange, but Mom in this capacity reminds me of all the authority figures I’ve always feared.  It was nice to realize that she was still my Mom.

“It’s okay.  Kyle just got here, too – football practice ran late.”  She perched on he corner of her desk and handed us each a piece of paper.  “Here are your class schedules.  You all have your first class together, and the same lunch period, but you can compare the rest of your classes later.  I’ll take you to your first class now.”

Mom practically leapt off the desk, and it’s in moments like that one that I realize just how much alike she and Mia really are, despite all their differences.  They’re both so bouncy and full of energy the air around them practically sizzles.  I hate to even admit it to myself, and I would never say it aloud and hurt them like that, but I’m a little jealous of their connection.  I’m Amy Valenti’s daughter in every way except birth, I know, and I love her so much for choosing me, a kid who couldn’t talk and didn’t know simple things like how to brush my teeth, and for loving me when she didn’t have to, but we aren’t related.  Not really.  Not genetically, no matter what strangers think when they look at us.  I’ll never look at Amy and recognize one of her features as my own.  My birth mother is probably long dead, and I’ll never know that connection of blood that Mia and Mom share.  I’ll probably never know where I belong.

Then Kyle wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed hug, probably sensing what I was feeling.  I managed to give him a small smile back, but I couldn’t stop my lower lip from trembling a little.

Kyle and Dad also have that connection, and I don’t know how anyone who looks at their bright blue eyes couldn’t tell they were related, but I’ve never been jealous of them.  Probably because whenever I think of where I come from, I wonder about my mother, not my father.  Girls and their mothers…it’s a very important connection.  So much of who you are comes from your mother.  I’ve got some of Amy’s mannerisms, I know, but sometimes, late at night when I stare up at the sky, I can’t help but wonder about my real mother.  My alien mother – a woman who would understand how confused and alone I feel even when I’m surrounded by people, who would understand how different I felt from everyone else because she felt the same way. 

A woman I both love and hate at the same time.

Maybe the boys, the ones who left me alone in the desert, would understand.  But they left me, and I doubt I’ll ever see them again, either.

I shook my head a little.  This was not the time to think about those boys or my birth mother.  Right now, I had to concentrate on hiding who I really am.

Kyle grabbed my hand and gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze as Mom knocked on the door to a classroom and held a hushed conversation with the teacher that opened the door.  Then she turned and flashed us a smile before she walked down the hall, away from us.

I sucked in a deep breath as I heard the clicking of her heels echoing down the hall.  It’s silly, I know, but in that moment, I felt as abandoned and alone as I had that night in the desert.

Then I steeled my spine and pulled my Ice Princess persona back in place.  I dropped my brother’s hand and walked boldly into the classroom behind the teacher. 

I scanned the faces of the students in the room automatically, not really looking for anyone in particular, but instead familiarizing myself with the people around me, making sure no one looked too dangerous.

And then I saw him, and my heart skipped a beat.

*

Part Eighteen – Alex

I looked up when I heard the knock at the door.  No one else really noticed – Max and Liz were too busy staring into each other’s eyes, and Tess was trying to tease Michael out of his bad mood.

The teacher went out into the hall and held a hushed conversation with a woman.  I strained to hear their conversation, but the noise level of the classroom raised to a din automatically when the teacher left the room.

And then I saw her.  Isabel.  She walked into the room, and all eyes were drawn to her.  Tess stopped talking mid-sentence, and even Max and Liz tore their eyes off of each other to look at her.  She was just the type of person who naturally commanded attention, and it wasn't just because she was beautiful.  I had a feeling people would stop and stare at her if she looked like Joe Schmoe.

I watched her glance around the room coolly, a distant expression on her face.  I knew she wasn’t as calm and indifferent as she appeared, though.  I could feel the fear, the nervousness, rolling through her body in waves.  I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close, tell her everything was going to be okay, but I knew, without a doubt, that that would be crazy, the absolute worst thing I could do under the circumstances.  It would've freaked her out even more, which was something I definitely didn't want to do if I ever had a hope in hell of being near her.  She didn't know me from Adam, even if I've loved her for most of my life.

And then our eyes met, and in that instant, I knew what Liz and Max meant when they said they could see into each other’s souls.  I’d already felt her all my life, but suddenly, I knew her, as well, on almost every level possible.  I could feel our connection strengthen as the air around me tingled with electricity and we weren’t even touching.  I could hear her thoughts, share her daydreams, experience her emotions.  For a single moment in time, we weren’t Alex and Isabel, we were AlexandIsabel.  We were one entity, one being.

I knew she felt it too.

And just as suddenly, we were apart.  It was like a door slammed shut, tearing me away from her.  I could still see her, still feel her, but she was gone from my mind, and I could feel my heart calling out to her, missing her, my other half.

I could feel her confusion and fear increase, and as much as I wanted to jump up and pull her into my arms, protect her from everything she was feeling, I knew I couldn’t.  That would just freak her out even more than I already had.  Instead, I just sent her reassuring thoughts, hoping that our connection would work in the opposite way, and that she would feel me, too.

She relaxed almost imperceptibly, and I felt her anxiety levels lessen slightly.  But her fear was still there, along with an iron will that forced her to remain calm, even though I knew she was scared enough to run all the way back to Albuquerque if she had to.

“Class, we have three new students today.  Kyle, Maria and Isabel Valenti.  Why don’t you each tell the class something about yourselves?”

I could see her hands shaking a little, and my heart wrenched.  Then she shook her hair and flashed the class a brilliant smile.

“We just moved here from Albuquerque, but we’re originally from Roswell,” Kyle told us.  I could see that Isabel was relieved that she didn’t have to go first, and I made a mental note to find some way to thank her brother for that.  “I’m on the football team,” he added.

“I’m Maria,” she said, grinning at us.  “I was head cheerleader at my old school, and I’m hoping to try out for the team here.”

“Isabel.”

Mr. Sommers looked startled when she didn’t seem inclined to continue.  I guess he assumed she was shy – he certainly didn’t feel the tremors of annoyance and fear that I felt radiating from her – and decided to try and draw her out of her shell.  The poor, deluded man didn’t have a sweet clue who he was up against.  “Tell us, Isabel – why did your family move to Roswell?”

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a little half-smile.  “My parents wanted to move closer to my grandparents, and my father was offered a job as sheriff.” Her eyes flashed, challenging him to try and pry more information from her.

“Umm…okay, then.  Take those empty seats over there, and I’ll have a seating plan done up for next class.”  He waved vaguely in my direction, and I couldn’t stop myself from grinning.  Then I thanked whatever gods that happened to be smiling down on me, Alex Whitman, when the girl of my dreams glided down the aisle towards me and slid into the seat in front of me.

Oh, yeah.  This was gonna be one hell of a year.

*

Part Nineteen – Isabel

And then I saw him, and my heart skipped a beat.

I’d always seen a boy in my dreams, from the very first night I broke out of my pod.  Sometimes, when I was younger, I would try to talk to him, but whenever I did, he would disappear, and nights would go by until I’d see him again.  So I learned to pretend he wasn’t there, even though I knew he was.  During my nightmares, he’d hover close by, and some part of me knew that he’d stop anything bad from happening to me.  Some part of me knew he’d protect me from the people who wanted to dissect me.  I use to think of him as a guardian angel.

He kept me from feeling alone.

When I was really little, I use to talk to him during the daytime.  I guess the image of the boy combined with my subconscious and he became an imaginary friend, someone I would talk to and play with in the daytime, especially in the year before I started school.  He was always there for me, in that year when Kyle and Mia were off to school and I was left at home with Mom.  He was my first real friend…maybe my only real friend.

As I grew up, I didn’t need him so much anymore, and the boy I would imagine in the daylight hours disappeared.  But he never really left my dreams.  And even though I’m sure I could’ve, I never attempt to dreamwalk him to find out if he was real.  I never even considered it.  Probably because I didn’t want to know the answer.  I needed him as much as ever, and I didn’t want to risk losing him by questioning his existence.

Really, though, I guess I always just assumed he wasn’t real, that he was just a representation of my subconscious. 

He’s real. 

And I’m scared to death.

It was like the earth tipped on its axis.  I was just looking around the room when I spotted him.  His brilliant blue eyes captured mine and our gazes locked.  I couldn’t have looked away to save my soul.

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was really probably only a few seconds.  I could hear my heart pounding and I was dimly aware of the pain in the palms of my hands from where my fingernails bit into the skin, but for those few seconds, the only thing I could do was look at him.

That was when it happened.  We connected, connected the same way Kyle and I did when I healed him.  Images of him, growing up, sharing my dreams, flashed through my mind.  I could feel his heart beating in unison with my own.  In that split second, I left my own body.  I was him.

I’d never been so scared in my life.

And then my consciousness slammed back into my own body.

I must’ve looked silly, looking around the room in a daze, and from the look Mia shot me, I knew she’d noticed there was something wrong, but no one else seemed to notice anything was off. 

But something was off.  Things like this…they just weren’t supposed to happen.  It didn’t make any sense.  I’ve never been able to just connect with someone like that before, not without some form of physical contact, at least.  Sure, I’ve been able to sense emotions off of Kyle and Mia from time to time, but normally only intense feelings or in tense situations.  I’d always just assumed that was because I knew them so well, because of our connection.

I could feel my lower lip trembling, and I clenched my hands into fists to stop them from shaking.  What if he felt it too?  What if he knew I was a freak?  Oh, god…what if he told someone? 

What if they found out what I was?

I was almost ready to run from the room and search out a nice, quiet corner to hide in when I felt it.  My senses were still overwhelmed from all of his feelings invading my head, but I could feel it.  Like a soothing lotion poured over my battered emotions, I could feel his reassurances.  I could feel that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, that I didn’t have to worry, and I felt my body respond even as my mind told me I was kidding myself. 

The teacher, Mr. Sommers, was talking to us, and Kyle and Mia were shooting me these little worried looks.  I sucked in some breath and pulled my persona back into place.  I was the ice princess, and nothing could hurt me, I told myself, especially not some strange boy.  It was all just a coincidence, the product of an overactive imagination. 

I shook my hair and flashed a smile at everyone in the room.  I glanced around, reminding myself where all the exits were, in case something horrible happened. 

But I couldn’t help but let my gaze linger on him for a second longer than necessary.  I told myself I just wanted to see what he looked like, but I couldn’t even bring myself to believe that lie.  I would know him anywhere.  I always have and I always will.

He’s not really what most people would consider my type – he’s tall and skinny and kind of geeky-looking – but I don’t want one of those so-called football studs everyone kept tossing at me at my old school.  No one, not even Kyle and Mia, could understand why I didn’t find them attractive.  Personally?  I’d rather have someone who’d pay attention to me, to my thoughts, my feelings, instead of a guy who thinks the biggest thrill in life is crushing beer cans on his forehead.

Mia was introducing herself now, and I gave myself a mental shake.  Why the hell was I thinking about this guy – a complete stranger who just happened to get into my head – as a potential boyfriend?  Izzy, babe, you’ve finally lost it, echoed in my head. 

Even weirder?  The little voice in my head sounded like my sister.

Mia was staring at me expectantly.  Oh, yeah.  My turn to talk.  Whoopee.  “Isabel,” I stated, not seeing any need to tell anyone anything else.

The teacher looked startled when I didn’t seem inclined to continue.  Guess he’s not use to anyone not falling all over his middle-aged charms.  “Tell us, Isabel – why did your family move to Roswell?”

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a little half-smile.  He tensed, and I swear I saw a bead of sweat form on his forehead.  If the leacherous old man wants to check me out, fine.  But he sure as hell better be prepared for me to turn my charms back on him.  “My parents wanted to move closer to my grandparents, and my father was offered a job as sheriff.”

“Umm…okay, then.  Take those empty seats over there, and I’ll have a seating plan done up for next class.”  He waved vaguely, and my eyes followed his hand. 

I swallowed nervously.  He was pointing at the boy, who was grinning at me.  The room seemed to spin a little as I walked slowly down the aisle and slid into the seat in front of him, and this time I couldn’t stop my hands from trembling. 

Oh, yeah.  This was gonna be one hell of a year.

*

Part Twenty – Alex

“Hi, I’m Alex,” I told her, wondering if she already knew my name.

She turned slightly in her chair and offered me a tiny smile.  “Hi.”

Then she swivelled to face the front, and I started to listen to Mr. Sommers drone on.

That’s when I knew it was my lucky day.

“I realize many of you have already done the assignment in your sophomore year,” he told us, wheezing slightly as he trotted around the room, distributing freshly-photocopied sheets.  But I fully believe that it’s necessary to know your personal history before you can learn the history of others.  That said, I’m assigning you partners, and handing out a much more complex set of questions than the questions I give my sophomore class.”

He plopped a few papers on my desk and I glanced at them.  Sure, he still seemed keen to know everyone’s favourite flavour of ice-cream, but this time around, he also seemed interested in what really made the person tick.

“You’ll all be getting to know one another very well in the next week, and I expect a 1,000-word biography on your partner.  This will help prepare you for some of the historical figures we’ll be studying over the next few months.”

I stifled the groan that threatened to erupt at that announcement.  What kind of sicko gives homework on the first day of school?

“Max Evans and Elizabeth Parker.”

I grinned as Tess elbowed Liz and Max turned an interesting shade of pink…one I’m not entirely sure ever actually occurred before in nature.  Obviously, Mr. Sommers hadn’t heard about their little trips to the Eraser Room last year – they were pretty damn close to legendary.  If Max and Liz knew any more about each other, they’d be mistaken for an old married couple.

“Michael Evans and Maria Valenti.”

I glanced at Michael, and barely contained my laughter.  The semi-permanent scowl that normally covered his face was now replaced by a look that was a cross of horror and disbelief.  Oh, yeah.  I’d read the signs right.  He’s got a thing for my dream girl’s sister.  Score one for Whitman.

I sat back in my chair and exchanged a look of amusement with my sister.  With the surname ‘Whitman,’ Tess and I knew we wouldn’t be called for quite some time, unless our partner’s names were higher in the alphabet.

“Kyle Valenti and Tess Whitman.”

The look of horror on Tessie’s face was comical.  I’d been teasing her about having a crush on the Valenti boy for weeks now, and she’d denied it repeatedly, but I figured this was pretty much all the proof I needed to know that she wasn’t as indifferent as she claimed.  I could already picture the freak-out session she’d have with Liz when class was over.

Then I looked at Kyle Valenti, and the opportunity to tease my little sister paled with the need to protect her from the guy who was staring at her.  Sure, he might be Isabel’s brother, and sure, he seemed like a nice guy in her dreams, but they were dreams, after all.  How much could I really depend on them, especially when my little sister was concerned?

“And last, but of course, not least…Alex Whitman-” my head snapped up, and I glanced around the room, wondering who else was left, “And Isabel Valenti.”

I gripped the edge of the desk and fought back the howl of excitement that threatened to spill out.

That’s all the proof I need.  Somewhere, somehow, there’s some supernatural power smiling down on me.  Either that, or I’m the luckiest guy on this planet, or any other.  Because I, Alex Whitman, get to do an in-depth study and find out what makes the girl of my dreams tick.

Life is good.

*

Part Twenty-One – Isabel

It all started out normally enough.  I sat down, and he said hello.  It scared me a little, being that close to him and not knowing how much he knew about me, but I’m Isabel Valenti, the Ice Princess.  Nothing bothers me, so I can certainly deal with some guy at West Roswell High.

That’s when the floor dropped out from under me.  The teacher was wandering around the room, dropping questionnaires and class outlines on each desk, when he paired me up with him.  Alex Whitman.

I’d had this fluttery feeling in my stomach ever since the teacher, Mr. Sommers first started talking about pairing up students.  I just knew that somehow, someway, I would be with him.  The guy who, if I’m entirely honest, fascinates and terrifies me at once.

“When should we get together to work on this?” he asked me.

I turned in my chair reluctantly, the only outward sign I was nervous was that I kept playing with my rings.  “After school?  I have my jeep, so we could go back to my place,” I suggested, deciding that home turf advantage had to count for something.

He nodded.  “Where do you want to meet?”

I consulted my schedule.  “I’ve got English last, so how about on the front steps?”

He nodded as the bell rang.  “I’ll see you then, Isabel.”  He flashed me a smile over his shoulder as he strolled out of the room, and I was left to stare after him.  He sure knows how to make an exit, I admitted ruefully.

Mia came up behind me and linked arms with me.  “You okay?” she asked softly, guiding me out of the room.  “You looked pretty out-of-it for a while there.”

I smiled weakly and nodded.  “Yeah, I think so.  Everything just got kind of…weird for a minute.  Nerves, I guess,” I answered, deciding not to worry her.  She had enough to worry about right now without my problems added to it.

She looked hard at me for a minute, probably weighing the veracity of my words.  Then she smiled and started pulling me down the hall.  “We’ve got Spanish next,” she informed me.

“So what do you think of the whole biography assignment?”

A sound emitted from my sister’s throat that I’d never heard before.  It almost sounded like a growl.  “I got stuck with the most egotistical, wretched males on the planet!  He’s smart-mouthed and rude and poorly-groomed.  And that hair!  Izzy, did you see his hair?”

I couldn’t help but smile.  This was the most animated I’ve seen my sister since before Mom and Dad announced the move.  “So you like him, Mia?”

She stopped, dead in her tracks, only a few steps from our classroom.  “Are you crazy?” she asked.  “Where did that idea come from?”

I lifted an eyebrow, and she caved.

“Yeah,” she whispered.  “I think I do.”

I gave her a little hug as we headed into the classroom.  “Are you meeting him after school to work on the project?”

Mia sat down across from me and suddenly found smoothing imaginary wrinkles out of her skirt more interesting than looking me in the eye.  I smothered a grin.  Mia always looked me in the eye…except in those few weeks she was falling hard for Jeremy the Jerk.  Sure, that turned out to be nothing more than a teenaged crush and it fizzled out and became something much less than love, but I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe my prediction had come true.  Maybe Mia really had found love in Roswell, New Mexico.  And even if it wasn’t the be-all, end-all romance of her life, if it helped her get over that little twit Jeremy, I was all for it. 

But if Michael Evans hurts my sister, he’s going to have to deal with me.  And I'm gonna make damn sure he knows it, too.

Finally, she looked up and nodded, glancing around slightly to make sure no one else could hear.  “Yeah.  At this little café, the Crashdown.  He said he’d give me a ride home, so you don’t need to wait.”

“Good luck, babe,” I told her as the teacher began to spew forth rapid-fire Spanish.

Mia flashed me another hopeful smile, and I couldn’t help but smile back.  I have to admit, things were looking up.  My sister was falling hard for someone new and forgetting Jeremy like yesterday’s garbage.  Kyle, from the way he tore out of history with that blonde girl, was getting over the pain of losing Tracy.

And me?  I was going to get to learn a little more about one of the most intriguing guys I’ve ever met.  I just hope he doesn’t know anything, that he doesn’t know the truth, and that my instincts about him are right. 

I just hope that for once, I can be Isabel Valenti.  A normal girl.

Life is good.

*

Part Twenty-two – Alex

It seems like I’ve been waiting a lifetime for this, and not just a couple of hours until school ended.  But in a way, I guess I have waited a lifetime.  I’ve watched her – hell, I’ve loved her – for more than a decade.  And now it’s finally time for me to get to know her.  The real Isabel Valenti.

I fiddled with the strap on my backpack absently, trying to compose my thoughts and emotions.  If our connection went both ways, and she could feel me the way I felt her…well, the last thing I needed right now was for her to sense anything I was feeling right now.  If she did, she’d probably run, screaming, for the hills. 

And not just because I’m head-over-heels in love with her, either.

“Hi, Alex.”  I swivelled to face her, so caught up in thinking about her, I hadn’t felt, or even heard, her approach.  She was smiling slightly and playing with her rings nervously.

I grinned at her, hoping to put her at ease, and at the same time, reminding myself to be calm.  “Hi, Isabel.  Ready to go?”

“Sure.  My jeep’s over there,” she told me, gesturing vaguely towards a red jeep that could’ve been Max and Michael’s jeep’s long lost twin.  Chalk up another point to the theory that this is the girl they lost all those years ago.

Silently, I followed her to the jeep, trying not to notice how beautiful she was.  There’s time for that later, I reminded myself.  You’re on a mission.  Get her to trust you, and find out the truth.

Michael, and to a lesser extent, Max, had made that clear at lunch.  They weren’t exactly interested in hearing how beautiful I think she is, or how lucky I felt that we’d been paired together for this assignment.  Instead, all they thought about was what a wonderful opportunity this would be to spy on her, and even more importantly, her father.

I’ve got to admit, I feel like a real bastard for going along with Michael’s little seek-and-discover mission.  I’m investigating the girl I think I love.  How low is that?  If she ever found out…well, let’s just say that I’d have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever being allowed around her again.

She won’t find out, I told myself firmly as I climbed in the jeep next to her.  She gave me a slightly puzzled smile as she started the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot, probably wondering why I was so quiet.  She looked so beautiful when she looked confused…  I won’t do anything wrong.  I’ll just do the assignment, and screw Michael and Max.

But what about Tess?  What about your sister? Can you let her down, put her at risk?

I nearly groaned aloud in frustration, and Isabel glanced at me, raising one perfectly-shaped eyebrow.  I smiled weakly, although internally, I cursed the little voice in my head that reminded me about Tessie.  I couldn’t let her down.  I just couldn’t.  I couldn’t put her in danger, not even if it meant losing any and all chance I may have had with the only girl I’ve ever loved.

The most annoying thing about the whole damn thing was, that little voice sounded like Michael Evans.

I barely noticed when the car stopped, causing Isabel to glance at me, confused, again.  “We’re here,” she finally said, frowning slightly, when I made no move to get out of the car.

“Oh,” I said, laughing weakly.  “Guess I was just thinking about the assignment.”

She nodded, clearly not buying my explanation.  But then again, if I was her, I wouldn’t buy my explanation, either.

I followed her to the front porch of a large house about halfway between my house and the Evans’.  “Nice place.”

She smiled over her shoulder at me as she unlocked the door with her key.  I wondered, vaguely, if she really needed the key, or if, like Michael, Max and Tess, she could simply wave a hand and open any lock she chose.

“Thanks,” she said, holding the door open for me.  “We’re not entirely unpacked yet, so please excuse the mess.  Mom and Dad moved in a week before Maria and Kyle and I did, so the downstairs looks okay, but don’t let that fool you.  It’s a wreck upstairs.”

I laughed – the first genuine laugh of the afternoon.  “I’m pretty sure we still have boxes in the basement that aren’t unpacked from when we moved to Roswell, and that was ten years ago.”

She smiled, relaxing.  “Would you like a snack or something to drink?” she offered, leading me into the kitchen.  She picked up a note from the table and glanced at it.

“What’s that?” I asked, hating that I couldn’t just wait and let her tell me if she wanted to or not, that I couldn’t just trust her.  Damn Michael and his paranoia.

“A note from my Dad, telling Mia and Kyle and me that he hoped we had a good day, and that he’ll be home early.” 

“Oh…what does he do?”

“He’s the new sheriff…but I’m sure you already knew that,” she replied, smiling at me.  I raised my eyebrows, and she giggled.  “Roswell is a small town, after all.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.  So why’d you move back here?”

Isabel shrugged, somehow making a simple movement look elegant.  “Dad and Mom both got offered jobs here.  Dad said he wanted a change in career, a chance to spend more time with Kyle and Maria and me.”

Maybe Liz was wrong…maybe Valenti wasn’t out to get Michael and Max and Tess, like we feared.

“We don’t really understand why he wanted to move back here, either,” she told me, and my heart sank a little.  So much for that theory.  Then she smiled again, grabbing two apples out of the bowl on the counter and replacing the note on the table.  “Do you want to work in my room?” she asked.

I nodded, a little breathless, as I followed her up the stairs and into the second door on the left.  I looked around, taking in the tranquil, pale blue walls and the mementos of her childhood, proudly displayed on the walls and bookshelves. 

She let me into her room?  I mean, sure, I’ve seen into her heart and soul…I’ve shared her innermost thoughts and feelings…but it had to mean something if she was going to let me into her bedroom, something I knew she considered her inner sanctum.

And I couldn’t even enjoy it because I couldn’t be myself.  I had to find out information, I had to protect my friends and my sister.

Why did life have to be so complicated?

*

Part Twenty-three – Isabel

I flopped onto my bed and pulled out the questionnaire, peeking at Alex under my lashes.  He was acting kind of strangely…I shook my head firmly, earning one of the have-you-totally-lost-it looks I’d been giving him all afternoon.  I smiled weakly. I was not about to start jumping at every shadow.  Not now.  Alex wasn’t a threat to me.  He couldn’t be.

I don’t want him to be.

It was that attempt to throw caution to the wind and just trust someone, without them proving themselves to me, that convinced me to bring him upstairs to my bedroom.  Sure, we could’ve worked in the living room or the kitchen…but I wanted, desperately, for him to see me, the real me.  The girl, the scared, lonely girl.  Isabel Valenti.

Maybe seeing my room, full of stuff that makes me feel safe and loved, will give him an idea of who I am without my having to tell him.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

“Ready to get started?” I asked, hoping my voice sounded cheerful and relaxed.  Instead, it sounded strange and forced.  Maybe I wasn’t as calm as I would’ve liked to think.  How did this one guy, after all the guys I’ve shot down over the years, have this amazing ability to get under my skin?

He nodded.  “Okay, first question.  What a surprise.  What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?”

“Chocolate.  You?”

“Chocolate.”

I raised an eyebrow, but let it go. Chocolate was a pretty popular flavour, after all.  “Favourite relative?”

“My sister, definitely.  We’re pretty much the same age, and I’ve got to admit, she’s my best friend. How about you?”

“My sister, Mia,” I answered, this time both eyebrows raised.  “She’s my best friend, too.  What’s your favourite book?”

“In Love and War.”

“Really?” I asked.  From what little I’ve seen of him, that’s not exactly the kind of book I’d pictured him liking.

He tried keeping a straight face for a few minutes before he gave in and started laughing.  “No, not really. I love the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  You?”

I smiled. Maybe he wasn’t playing some weird head game with me and anticipating my answers.  “Wuthering Heights and The Chronicles of Narnia.  I’ve re-read them both so many times, they’re probably going to fall apart soon.”  I didn’t tell him that I dreamed when I was a little girl, that I dreamed Narnia was my real world, that my parents were there, waiting for me and missing me...and that I would be safe there.  I didn’t tell him that I had a crush on Heathcliff when I was thirteen because he seemed like the only male in the world that could understand me…an assessment I’m rapidly beginning to think doesn’t apply to Bronte’s hero, but instead to Alex.

“So…what are you afraid of, Isabel?”

I chewed on my lower lip, wondering how honest I should be.  From what I’ve seen of Alex Whitman, from what I’ve felt from Alex Whitman, he’s definitely a person I want to get to know better.  But then, there’s that whole nasty little trust issue.  Can I trust him not to break my heart if I tell him all my secrets?  Better yet, can I trust him to keep my secrets?

I just don’t know.

I lowered my eyes, unable to look at him.  “I lost my family once, when I was little.”  That was partially true, at least…as honest as I could be with him right now.  Maybe someday…  “I guess the thing that terrifies me the most is the thought of losing my parents or Kyle and Mia.”

I traced a pattern on my bedspread with my fingernail as I waited for him to respond. What if he thought it was silly?  What if he wanted to know more about it?

“I’m sorry about your other family,” he said softly, coming to sit beside me on the bed.  “How old were you?”

“Six,” I told him, relaxing slightly.  What was it about this guy that had such a calming effect on me?  He makes me feel safe…something I’m not sure I’ve ever really felt before.  “What about you, Alex?  What are you afraid of?”

“That I’ll lose someone I care about because of things I can’t control.”

I smiled, offering him the same comfort he gave me, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“What’s your worse memory?” he asked, still refusing to look at me.  Instead, he scribbled my previous answer on the handout.

This was one answer I couldn’t give him, or he would know too much.  I’m sorry, I told him mentally.  “Losing my family,” I lied.

That isn’t my worst memory.  Watching the boys run away from me that night…it was bad, sure, but it didn’t compare to another day.  My worst memory is the day I found out the truth about myself, the day I found out I wasn’t normal.  The day my life became truly insane.  But he’d never understand that, and I could never explain it.

Why does life have to be so complicated?

*

Part Twenty-four – Alex

“What’s your worst memory?” she asked me, her big brown eyes looking up at me, full of trust and something I didn’t quite recognize. 

I had to bite back my laughter.  If she only knew… “Kind of a morbid question, isn’t it?” I asked her, delaying the inevitable.  She nodded, arching one beautiful eyebrow, silently telling me to stop avoiding the question.  I sighed.  There was no way I could answer that question truthfully.  Because, in all honesty, my worst memory involved saving Max from the Special Unit of the FBI.  As much as I wanted to trust her, as much as I was already starting to love her, I couldn’t tell her that.  I couldn’t risk my sister and my friends like that.  If my instincts were wrong, if she wasn’t the missing alien, and I told her the truth, and she told her father…  “The day my grandfather died.”

“I’m sorry,” she told me, her hand brushing mine briefly, making me feel even guiltier for lying to her.  “Were you close?”

I nodded, quickly changing the subject.  I’ve never been a good liar, and with her…I’m pretty sure she knows how I feel, that I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve.  “What’s your best memory?”

She smiled at me, her entire face lighting up and her eyes sparkling.  “The day my Dad officially adopted me.”  She paused, and glanced at me before staring at her hands.  “My birth parents died when I was little, so I came to live with my mother’s sister and Maria.  After Mom and Dad got married, Dad officially adopted me and Mia.”  Her voice trembled a little, and I was sure she wasn’t telling me everything.  More proof that maybe she wasn’t the innocent schoolgirl that she appeared to be.  “So…what’s your best memory?”

Meeting you…I bit down hard on my tongue, trying to keep those words from escaping my mouth.  Great idea, Whitman, I told myself.  Like she wouldn’t go screaming for the hills if you told her you were hopelessly in love with her.    I shrugged.  “When my parents adopted my sister, I guess.”

I watched her scribble the answer on the sheet.  Even her handwriting seemed perfect.  You know you’ve got it bad when…

“What do you dream about?” she asked me.

You.  I could feel my ears turn red, and I glanced at her, unsure if the word had involuntarily fallen from my lips.  From the way she looked at me expectantly, I didn’t think so.  Funny thing is, I’m not sure whether I’m happy it didn’t or not.

I wracked my brain, trying to think of a plausible answer.  But she was the only answer I had.  It had always been her.  Finally, I shrugged.  “What does anyone dream about?” I asked.  “Having a million dollars, being famous…the usual, I guess.”

Maybe I was mistaken, but I could’ve sworn she looked vaguely disappointed.

Why couldn’t I just be a normal guy?

*

Part Twenty-Five – Isabel

“What do you dream about?” he asked me, his voice soft.  His bright blue eyes captured mine, and for a second, I felt like I was falling into an abyss.

You.  That was what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the words to explain.  I had to fight back a semi-hysterical giggle.  There were no words to explain, because there was no explanation.  It made absolutely no sense for me to know this completely normal, human boy from my dreams.  And he’d probably think I was insane if I admitted the truth.

The truth.  I had to fight back another fit of laughter.  We were supposed to be learning each other’s deepest, darkest secrets, and all I was doing was lying to him.  If he ever found out the truth, he’d probably hate me.  Or be scared of me, at the very least.  And if I was really lucky, he wouldn't turn me over to scientists who would love nothing more than to see me floating in a vat of formaldehyde.

I shook my head, tearing my eyes away from his hypnotic gaze and making my blonde hair fly around my face.  One of his hands reached up tentatively and brushed my hair out of my eyes, tucking it behind my ear, gently, carefully.  As if I were made of glass.  I could feel my heart rate accelerate, and I fought to keep my breathing even.

Lots of guys had touched me before, and some had even tried to grope me before I stopped them with a well-placed knee to the groin, but not like this.  Never like this.  No one had ever made me feel so special, so important…and never with such a simple gesture.

Frantically, I tried to remember what he’d asked me, but I drew a blank.  All I could think about was how much I wanted him to kiss me.

Stop it, Isabel!  I told myself. You know the rules. You’ve got to stay aloof.  No one can get near you…you’ll only get hurt.  You, and them. 

I sighed softly and pulled myself back into the present.  “Dreams?  I don’t really remember my dreams,” I lied, ignoring the feeble protests of my heart.

He stared at me for a second.  “What do you want, Isabel?” he asked.

I glanced at him, confused, and flipped through the questionnaire.  “That question’s not on here.”

“I know.  These question’s…we both know they’re useless.  They don’t tell us anything important about each other.  What do you, Isabel Valenti, want out of life?”

I released a breath I hadn’t even known I was holding.  “To be happy, safe, loved.”   It was the first honest answer I’d given all afternoon.  Now…I just needed to find the courage to say the rest of it.  “To be with someone who loves me,” I added softly, refusing to meet his eyes.  I fought back the sudden tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. 

Why was I so emotional?  Why did he have such an effect on me?  I barely know him.  I’m the Ice Princess.  Nothing should matter to me.

Especially not Alex Whitman.

But he did matter.  He did, and I think we both knew it.

He tilted my chin up until I met his eyes.  Slowly, he leaned in, and I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.  And I knew it was about to happen, that he was about to kiss me, and I wanted it more than anything else I’ve ever wanted in my life…

“Izzy!”  My sister’s screech was accompanied with the slamming of the front door and the sound of pounding feet as she charged up the stairs, in typical Mia-fashion.  Startled, we sprang apart, and in that second, I both hated my sister and thanked her for keeping me from doing something stupid.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, stopping short as she charged into my room.  She glanced at each of us, and then turned back to me, her eyes wide.  “I didn’t realize anyone else was here.  I’ll just come back later.”  She turned, as if to go, but Alex stopped her.

“No, it’s okay.  I’ve really got to get going.  We’ll finish this up later, okay, Isabel?”

Mutely, I nodded and watched him gather his things.  Oh, god…did he regret what we’d almost done?  Did he know what I was, after all?  Was he disgusted by me?

He smiled at me, and I managed to wave weakly, and then he was gone. 

“Are you okay?” Mia asked softly, coming to sit beside me on my bed after we’d heard the front door swing closed.

“No, I’m not,” I whispered.  “I’ve never been so confused in my life,” I added with a pathetic little whimper.

Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl?

*

Part Twenty-Six – Alex

“Great move, Whitman,” I muttered to myself as I closed the front door of the Valenti house behind me.  “Now she probably thinks you hate her.”

“Can I help you with anything, son?” The deep, firm voice came from in front of me.

I glanced up to find a brown-haired man in front of me, his glacial blue eyes staring straight at me.  I got the sense that he could see right through me if he felt like it, like he could read my mind and extract all my secrets.

“Um…no, no thanks.  You must be Isabel and Maria’s father.” The words flew out of my mouth, tumbling over each other in their speed to get out and distract him.  What was it about this man that made me nervous?  It had to be more than the fact that he was the father of the girl I’m rapidly falling in love with.  The air around him seemed to sizzle with energy, but unlike Maria’s, his was downright eerie.

“And you are?” he asked, his tone even.

“Al-Alex Whitman,” I mumbled, somehow managing to grow even more nervous.  Did he know I almost kissed Isabel? 

What have I done?  Now public enemy number one – the alien FBI hunter after my sister and my friends – knows I exist. 

Perfect.  Just swell.

“You know my daughters, Mr. Whitman?”

Why do I feel like I’m going through a police interrogation?  Oh, yeah.  Because he’s a cop.  All that’s missing is the bright light shining in my eyes.  I glanced down, looking for something to focus on – anything to focus on, other than his steely blue eyes – and then I saw it.

The gun.  The big, shiny gun glistening in the sunlight.

I gulped and looked back at his eyes.  They suddenly seemed…safer…than anywhere else.

“Yeah…Isabel and I are partners for our history assignment.  Um…I was just leaving.”  I gestured vaguely over my shoulder and backed up a few steps.  At his slight nod, I took off, just grateful to have escaped our encounter with all my limbs intact. 

As soon as I was around the corner, I broke into a run, desperate to put as much distance between me and six-gun Annie back there as possible.

That’s when my living nightmare got worse.

Behind me, a horn honked, and I drew up short, panting a little.  There’s a reason dodge-ball is my favourite sport.  I glanced over my shoulder, and nearly decided to keep running.

Why is my life like this?

*

Part Twenty-Seven - Isabel

“What happened?” Maria asked, stroking my hair.  We’d reversed the position we had done hundreds of times before.  Only this time, it was my head resting on her lap.  This time, it was me that was too emotionally exhausted to do anything but let the tears fall.

This time, I was the one whose heart had been bruised by a boy I cared about.

“We almost kissed,” I whispered as I felt another tear trickle down my cheek.  I stared blankly out the window, knowing that the only way I could tell my sister what happened was to blank out everything else.  “Mia…I know him.”

Her hand ceased its rhythmic strokes, and I could feel her frowning at me.   “Of course you know him, Izzy.  You met him today.”

I shook my head.  “No, Mia, I mean I know him.  I’ve always known him.  He’s always been there, in my dreams.”

“What?”

I closed my eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears that threatened to leak out.  I gave a tiny, mirthless laugh.  Wonder what happened to the girl who once swore she’d never cry over any man?

I sighed.  I don’t have to wonder what happened to that girl.  I know.  She fell in love.  I fell in love.

And maybe I was better off alone.

I rolled onto my back and faced my sister.  “Do you remember my imaginary friend?”  She nodded slightly, looking worried and confused.  “Alex.  It was him.  It was always him.”  The last few words came out as a pathetic whimper, and I hated myself for forgetting the cardinal rule.  Never get involved.  I wanted to hate him, but even as hurt and confused as I was, I couldn’t do it.

“How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know.  I just don’t know.”  I sat up, and she handed me a tissue.  Ignoring it, I ran a hand over my face and removed all traces of my tears.  Dad and Kyle would be home soon, and Mom would be home soon after them.  I couldn’t take their questions and concern.  I couldn’t handle Dad’s anger at anyone who brought one of his little girls to tears.  I couldn’t handle Kyle’s desire to pound the person that hurt his sisters into the ground.  And I really couldn’t handle Mom’s sympathetic looks and offers of herbal tea and empty promises that everything would be okay in the morning.

“I…I think he knows,” I whispered, needing to tell someone the truth.  The words were tumbling around in my mind, chasing after every look, every touch, everything he said, everything he did.  “I think he knows what I am.”

“Oh, god…”  Her lower lip trembled, and I could see she was fighting to be strong for me.  We both knew what this could mean.  We both knew that he could tell someone what he suspected, and I would be locked up in one of those government labs I saw when we toured one of the FBI facilities with Dad a few years back - labs straight out of my nightmares.  We both knew that she could lose a sister, and I could lose my life if he did know and we couldn’t convince him to keep quiet.

“Maybe you’re wrong.  Maybe he doesn’t know.”  A tear trickled down her cheek and her voice sounded high-pitched, frightened.  Desperate.

I shook my head.  I’m not.  I fought back the new batch of tears that threatened to fall as I saw the fear in my sister’s eyes.  “Please, Mia, promise me.”  I hated the way my voice trembled, I hated how weak I sounded, but I couldn’t help it.  I’ve never been so scared in my life.

And my heart’s never hurt so much.

“Anything,” she swore, hugging me tightly.

“You can’t tell anyone about this.  Not even Kyle, not yet.”  I paused, clenching my fists so tightly that my nails dug into the palms of my hands.  Just being around them could endanger my family, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to put them at risk.  Not after everything they’ve done for me.  Not after they took me in, made me one of them, loved me… No.  I had to protect them, no matter what it took.  “I’ll find some way to make him keep quiet.  And if I can’t…”

“If you can’t, then what?” she demanded.

“Then I’ll run.”

Why is my life like this?

*

Part Twenty-Eight - Alex

Almost.  I almost made it.  Just two more minutes and I would’ve turned onto my street.

But I guess the universe had other plans.

Sometimes, I don’t like the universe.

“Alex! Get in.  We’re headed out to the cave to discuss the whole Isabel situation.”

Slowly, I walked over to the jeep and pulled myself in behind Michael and Max.  Liz offered me a weak smile and Tess shrugged as she and Liz squeezed closer together to make room for me.

“Don’t say anything until we get out of town,” Michael reminded me, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.  “We don’t want to risk anyone overhearing.”

I nodded, glad to have been given even a ten-minute reprieve.  Frantically, I tried to come up with something to tell them.  Something that would protect my friends and my sister, while at the same time, keeping the girl I loved away from Michael’s paranoia and Max’s demands. 

But is that even fair to her?  I wondered, struggling with my internal debate.  If she was one of them, she deserved to know she wasn’t alone.  And if she knew anything about where they came from, they deserved to know that, too.  But doesn’t she also deserve her privacy?  Shouldn’t she get to decide what she’s going to do with her life, and not Max and Michael?

Because that possibility was present, as much as I didn’t want to admit it.  They’re great guys – two of my best friends - and they love Tess, sure, but they do control her to a certain extent.  And does Isabel really deserve to be put in danger, too?  As far as I could tell, she’s flying low on the FBI’s radar.  They had no idea she even existed…and I would like to keep it that way.  Keep her safe.  Even if it meant I couldn’t be with her.

I was jolted out of my reverie as the jeep screeched to a halt, in true Michael Evans-style.  I clamoured out of the jeep after my sister and best friend and followed them up the rocky embankment to the cave.

They’d found this just over a year ago, their first real clue about where they came from.  The first time Tessie brought me here and showed me the four pods that she and the others had been nestled in for safekeeping for all those years, a feeling of awe came over me.  Awe that there was a culture out there, somewhere, advanced enough to travel to Earth and keep three – no, four – children in stasis for fifty years.  But I felt something else, too, at the time.  Something I couldn’t identify then.

Now, I know.  It was her I felt.  Isabel.  Her…essence, her imprint was all over this place.  I could feel Tess, Max and Michael at the time, but now, I can feel her here, too. 

“So?  What did you find out?”  Michael asked anxiously.  “Is she like us?”

I hesitated, weighing my loyalties, before I realized I had never really had a choice.  I sighed.  “Yeah.  I think she is.”

Isabel, please forgive me…

*

Part Twenty-Nine – Isabel

“How was the first day of school, kids?”

I nearly choked on my salad.  I shot a warning look at Mia, and concentrated on swallowing, but my throat seemed to want to stop working.

Finally, I was able to smile cheerily at Dad.  “Everything was fine,” I answered, lying through my teeth.

“I met your friend today, Izzy,” Dad said casually.  “Pass me the mashed potatoes, son?”

I glanced at Mia, who had gone slightly pale.  “What friend is that, Dad?” I asked cautiously, hoping desperately that he was referring to the kid who sat next to me in math.

“Alex, I think his name was.  Met him on his way out.”

Mia kicked me under the table, and I shot her a warning look.  “We were assigned to do a history report together, Daddy,” I told him.  “Kyle was working with Alex’s sister.  What was her name again?”

“Tess Whitman,” he replied, glaring at me as Mom pounced on the new topic.

“Is she nice, honey?  Is she seeing anyone?  Perhaps we can have her over for supper one night.”

“Mom,” he said firmly, clearly hoping to prevent our mother from interfering in his love life.  Good luck.  “She is not my girlfriend.  I am dating Tracy.  You remember her, right?  Beautiful, talented, intelligent.  Lives in Albuquerque?”

“Of course I remember Tracy, honey.  But you’re so young to be so serious about anyone.  What can it hurt to date other people?  As you pointed out, you are in different cities right now, dear.”

“Mom.  I am not breaking up with Tracy.  I love her, and she loves me.  Just because you and Dad decided we had to move back to this backwater town doesn’t mean I’m going to forget about her.”

Mom sighed, suddenly looking much older than thirty-seven.  Mia and I exchanged another glance.

“I forgot to tell you, Kyle, there’s a letter from Tracy on the hall table,” Maria told him quickly. 

I jumped in, knowing I was putting myself back in the line of fire, but hoping to keep this from escalating any further.  “Mom?  Can you help me bake some pies this weekend?  I called the homeless shelter after Alex left, and they’re desperate for volunteers.  I said I would help out, and I would really love to bring some pies with me.”

“Sure,” she replied, her eyes glittering at the thought of a new baking project.  I couldn’t help but smile.  Pies were always a good way to distract my mother.

“That Alex fellow…he seemed rather odd,” Dad said hesitantly.  “Jumpy.  Nervous.  I don’t think he’s good enough for you, sweetie.”

“We’re just partners on a school project, Dad,” I whispered, trying to forget the look in his beautiful blue eyes as he leaned towards me.  Trying to forget the way he made me feel.  Trying to remember that I was supposed to fear him.

It’s not that easy to convince your heart what it’s feeling is a lie.

“He’s just another boy under my charm, Dad,” I added with a giggle and a toss of my long blonde hair.  He smiled and nodded, looking satisfied, and when he glanced away, I carefully brushed away the single tear that threatened to escape.

Alex, please forgive me…

*

Part Thirty – Alex

“Are you okay?”

I looked up to see my sister leaning against my bedroom door, concern written all over her face.

I sighed, closing the book I’d been pretending to read for the last hour and fell back against the pillows.  “Honestly?  I don’t know.”

Slowly, she walked inside, pushing the door shut behind her the way she’d done every other time I’ve ever had a problem, knowing that anything I was about to say would stay between us.  She straddled my desk chair and rested her chin on the top rung.

“You love her.”  It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded, watching her face anxiously.  What if she thought I was nuts?  Why wouldn’t she?  I thought I was nuts.

She smiled, and I let out a sigh of relief.  “That’s great, Alex.  I’m happy for you.”

“I know it seems fast, but…”  I threw up my hands helplessly.  “I’ve dreamed about her all my life.  I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember.  I don’t know how to do anything else but love her.  I know I don’t really know her, and I don’t know how she feels…I can’t explain it.”

“Who can explain love?” she asked, looking sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling myself into a sitting position.  She crossed the room and sat next to me, her forehead leaning against my shoulder.  I wrapped an arm around her and made soothing noises as she cried softly.

Finally, she sat up and dried her cheeks.  “Sorry,” she said, giving me a slightly embarrassed smile.

“What are brothers for?”  She giggled, and I grinned back at her.  “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m so stupid.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her eyes dropped to her hands.  She seemed to find her rings suddenly fascinating.  “I like him,” she whispered, so softly that I had to strain to hear.

“Who?”  I know I’m not entirely up-to-date on my sister’s latest crushes – that was Liz’s department, after all – but the last one I remember hearing about was Luke Miller, and that was a few months ago.

“Kyle Valenti,” she told me miserably.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“He has a girlfriend.”

Oh.

“He told me he loves her.”

Oh.

“Right after I asked him to Marcie’s party.”

Ouch.

I squeezed her shoulders.  “It’ll be okay.”

She looked up at me, a ghost of a smile haunting her lips.  “I know.”  Then she shook her head, as if to chase away any thought of Kyle Valenti, making her blonde curls bounce.  “Are you okay?”

I sighed, and briefly considered lying, but I’ve never lied to Tess.  And she’d never let the subject just drop anyway.  “I feel guilty, like I betrayed her.”

“Why?”

“I’ve put Max and Michael on her trail.  She might not even be one of you.  I don’t have any real proof, I just think she is, and I might be screwing up her life for no reason.”

“You didn’t have any other choice,” she told me gently.  “And even if you had told him she was completely human, Michael wouldn’t have just let it go.  You know him.  He wouldn’t be happy until he had a blood sample.”

“I know.”  I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed again.  “It’s just that she’s lost any chance at a normal life now, if she is like you guys.  I might’ve put her at risk, too.”

“And you may have saved her life.”  Tess stared at me, her blue eyes serious.  “She might’ve gotten exposed one day, and no one to turn to for help.  We can help her.  And if Valenti is still FBI, she’s walking a tightrope every day.”

She gave me a quick hug and slipped out of my room, pulling the door shut behind her.  I glanced out of the window at the night sky.

Maybe things will work out, after all.

*

Part Thirty-One - Isabel

“Bowls?”

“Check.”

“Spoons?”

“Check.”

“Soda?”

“Check.”

“Cookies?”

“Check.”

“Potato chips?”

“Check.”

“Pie?”

“Check.”

“Tabasco sauce?”

“Check.”

“Ice cream?”

“Three kinds, check.”

Mia surveyed the tray I’d laid everything on like an army commander appraising his troops, and I stifled a giggle.  My sister took cheering up her siblings very seriously, and she usually accomplished her task in preparation alone.  No one could stay upset while Mia Valenti was around for long.

“Okay, then.  It’s time to start operation ‘Cheer up!’”

She bounced towards the stairs, carrying a bag of videos and a six-case of cherry cola.  I shook my head and followed behind her, lugging a tray bearing more calories than people in third-world countries got in a year.  Looks like I’d have to go jogging tomorrow morning.  Alien powers won’t help too much if I can’t fit into any of my clothes.  Honestly, I wasn’t sure that binging on junk food and videos would help Kyle or me.  But no one said ‘no’ to Hurricane Valenti, especially when she got into her ‘I can save the world’ moods, and lived to tell about it.

“Izzy!”  Mia called from the top of the stairs.

“Coming,” I shouted, and then mumbled, “Sergeant Maria.”

“I heard that!” She told me, giving me the evil eye before breaking out into a sunny smile.  “At least I’m not the Christmas Nazi.”

I simply grimaced at the mention of the hated nickname and followed in my sister’s wake as she bounced down the hall towards Kyle’s room.  She flung open the door without knocking and motioned for me to follow her inside.  I could hear the Smashing Pumpkins blasting into the hall – then again, half of Roswell probably could – and wasn’t at all sure that intruding in Kyle’s room uninvited was a wise idea, but then again, neither was trying to tell my sister that.  Besides, if I didn’t put this tray down soon, I was going to collapse.  With a final lopsided shrug, I followed Mia into the room, kicking the door shut behind me.

Gratefully, I dumped the tray on Kyle’s desk as my eyes adjusted to the dimness.  The sun had set an hour ago, but Kyle had yet to turn on any lights.  The heavy navy curtains were drawn across the window, blocking any residual light and casting dark shadows in the corners of the room.  Mia had dropped the movies and the sodas on the floor in the middle of the room, and now she was flicking on lamps.  Kyle didn’t even flinch until she turned off his CD player.

“Turn it back on,” he growled.

My heart broke for my brother.  He didn’t deserve for this to happen to him.  No one did, really, but especially not Kyle.  He was too nice a guy.  Kyle, who stood up for me when people at school called me a bitch.  Kyle, who still checked on me during the night to make sure I wasn’t having nightmares.  Kyle, who understood everything – all my hopes and my dreams and my fears - without my having to say it. 

I sat on the end of his bed, not saying a word, just letting my brother know tat I was there for him, the way he’d always been there for me.

Mia arched an eyebrow at me and followed my lead.  She sat next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder, knowing he’d tell us in time.

“A damn ‘Dear John’ letter,” he muttered eventually.  “I loved her, and she wrote me a damn letter.  We dated for three years!”

My breath caught in my throat, and I swallowed a sob.  I had never heard Kyle sound so hurt, so lost and alone, not even in the weeks after Grandma Valenti died.  By now, he was sitting up, and Mia and I moved so that we were sitting on either side of him, offering him one-armed hugs.

“You didn’t deserve that,” Maria told him quietly, the usual sparkle in her eyes dimming considerably as we both shared out brother’s pain. 

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, just sitting and staring at the wall, all of us picturing Tracy, the smiling girl that had once made Kyle so happy and was now responsible for breaking his heart.  The silent reverie was broken only once, when Mia grabbed the now-melting cartons of ice cream from Kyle’s desk.  She handed each of us a carton and a spoon, and passed me the Tabasco sauce as well, before resuming her former position on Kyle’s left.

For a while, all that could be heard was the soft scraping of ice cream from the cartons as we dug into the comfort food.

“She asked me out today, you know,” Kyle said finally, startling me so much I dropped the spoonful of ice cream I had been about to lick off the spoon.  His normally deep voice was raw from the tears he shed before we had entered his room. 

“Who?” I asked softly.

“Tess, that girl with the curly hair.  She wanted me to go to a party with her.” He laughed humourlessly.  “I told her I had a girlfriend that I was madly in love with.”

“Oh, Kyle,” Mia whispered, leaning against him.  “It’ll get better.”

I nodded when he glanced at me doubtfully.  “I promise.  I’ll make it better.”

He gave us a shadow of a smile and glanced over at the pile of junk food now sitting on his desk that Mia had ordered me to gather earlier.  “Who else is having trouble with their love life?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I chewed on my bottom lip and stared at the melting ice cream in the tub in my lap.  “Me,” I admitted sheepishly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, wrapping an arm around both Mia’s and my shoulders.

“Alex,” I told him, wondering how much detail to go into.  Keep it basic, I decided – he doesn’t need to worry about me right now.  “I think I…I mean, maybe I might be…” I trailed off, unable to admit the truth.

It didn’t matter.  He could see it in my eyes when I looked at him.  “It’ll be okay.  I promise.  I’ll make it better.”  Kyle parroted my words from earlier, and I couldn’t help but smile.  My big brother had never let me down before, and I knew he wasn’t about to start now.

Maybe things will work out, after all.

*

Part Thirty-Two – Alex

I tried.  I really did try.

I stared at the night sky through my bedroom window as sleep eluded me, but for once, I didn’t notice the beauty and the mystery of the stars, those faraway gas giants that brought me my sister, my friends, and…Isabel.  My world.

Her face.  Her eyes, as dark as the night’s sky.  That was the only image I could see.  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face, her lower lip trembling almost imperceptibly as I risked one last look at her beautiful face before running from her room this afternoon.  Trembling with a hurt I was responsible for.

Didn’t she know I wanted to stay?  That kissing her, feeling those perfect pink lips on mine would be a dream come true?

A dream that would never be realized, not after she discovered what I’d done. 

Tomorrow morning, they would take her.  Max, Michael, and Tess.  They would take her to the cave where they were hidden for so many years, the cave where they were born.  They would tell her what they were, what they thought she was.  And they would tell her how they had found her, how they knew her deepest, darkest secret.

There were a thousand reasons for me to stay away, and only one reason for me to go. 

In just a few hours, she would hate me, despise me.

I went anyway.  Because that one reason, as terrifying and as risky as it may be, was more important than anything else on earth. 

I love her.  I love a girl I barely knew.  I love a girl whose presence in our lives could threaten the very existence of my sister and my friends.  I love a girl who would probably never love me back.  But it didn’t matter if she felt the same way.  Because I would love her anyway, through anything, just as long as she was happy.

I love her, and I have to tell her.  Just once, at least…before she finds out how I betrayed her.

She was laying on the dewy grass when I arrived, her skin an unearthly white in the pale moonlight.  I knew she would be there somehow.  And I knew she was aware of my presence, even though she made no move to acknowledge me as I emerged from the shadows of her house.  The night was unearthly quiet, and I could hear each soft breath she took as I walked towards her.

Those few steps that separated us seemed like a mile.  I shivered, feeling chilled to the bone, even though the night was unusually warm.  I knew, with greater clarity than I’ve known anything else in my life, that the next few minutes would determine my future.  Our future.

Her eyes remained locked on the stars above us as I lowered myself to the ground next to her, but I could see her hands were shaking.  Dried tear tracks traced their way down her cheeks, and my heart squeezed painfully.  I knew that I was the one who had made her cry.

I never want to make her cry again.

“Hi,” I said softly, my words barely more than a whisper.

Her head tilted towards me, until I could see her beautiful eyes.  They were what my grandmother called old eyes – eyes full of knowledge, full of the love and pain of a lifetime, eyes that had already seen everything before, but paradoxically, everything was fresh and new at the same time.  I’d never really understood what she meant before, but in that moment, when I looked into Isabel’s eyes, I knew, without a doubt.

“Hi,” she answered, just as quietly.  She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look away, either.  Slowly, deliberately, she sat up, curling her legs underneath her.   Grass stuck to her bare legs and arms, but she made no move to brush it off.  She just continued gazing at me steadily, waiting for me to make the first move.

I swallowed and closed my eyes briefly, but this time, I didn’t see her as she had appeared this afternoon, wearing her heart on her sleeve.  Instead, I saw a younger Izzy, the girl I fell in love with in my dreams, smiling and laughing and happy and carefree in the sunshine. 

She hasn’t smiled like that in our dreams in a long time.

I wanted to make her that happy again.

My eyes fluttered open and met her dark serious ones.  I reached for her hand blindly, my eyes never leaving hers, but I knew where her hand was instinctively.  My fingers touched hers, and I felt a shock go through me.  I knew she felt it too, those old eyes registering a flash of surprise for the briefest moment, before returning to their former composure.

My fingers threaded with hers, the touch of her hand giving me courage.  “I love you,” I told her simply, knowing that there was nothing more that needed to be said. 

The next step was up to her.

*

Part Thirty-Three - Isabel

I knew he would come.

I’m not entirely sure how I knew.  One minute, I was lying on my bed, staring out at the stars and cursing fate for making me different, as silent tears dripped down my cheeks, and the next I minute, I knew that he was coming for me, and everything was okay again.

I hesitated for a moment, glancing at the glowing green numbers on my clock, wondering if it was just wishful thinking on my part.  After the events of this afternoon, after he had practically run away from me, after I realized that he somehow knew what I was, I should have avoided him like the plague. 

There were a thousand reasons for me to stay away, and only one reason for me to go. 

I knew I would go anyway.  Because that one reason, as terrifying and as risky as it may be, was more important than anything else on earth. 

I love him.  I love a boy I barely knew.  I love a boy whose presence in my life could threaten my very existence and tear my family apart.  I love a boy who would probably never love the real me – the scared, lonely girl - back.  I love a boy who knew the truth about me, who had fled my room this afternoon, who could destroy the only life I’ve ever known in an instant.  The risk was enormous.  I was putting my faith in a boy I only know through dreams.  But it didn’t matter if he felt the same way.  Because I would love him anyway, through anything, just as long as he was happy.

I love him, and I have to be near him.  Just once, just one more time at least…before I leave, before I protect my family the only way I know how.

I shook my head, knowing that I couldn’t stay here, knowing that this was our last chance to get things right.  Silently, I slid out of bed and crept outside, not bothering to throw anything on over my tank top and shorts.  He knew me – all my most intimate thoughts and dreams and secrets…and I knew him, too.  What did it matter if he saw my pyjamas?

The yard was dark, full of shadowed corners.  I shivered slightly, despite the humid air, and folded my arms over my chest to ward off the fears of the dark that had remained from my childhood.  Gently, I pulled the door closed behind me, pocketing my keys.   The tiny click of the lock seemed as loud as a bullet in the still night air, and I stilled for a moment, glancing at the darkened windows and straining to hear if I had awakened my family.

The quiet of the night embraced me as the stars twinkled above me – stars that brought me to this place, stars that hid my past and held the promise of a wonderful future, if I could only get past the here and now.   The dew-covered grass pulled at my bare feet, and when I reached the middle of the yard, I dropped to my knees.  I shivered again as I lay back in the damp grass and stared up at the night sky, silently praying that I was right, that my dreams really could come true.

I could feel him before I could see him, but I remained still, giving him one last chance to turn back.  I fought to keep breathing normally and kept my eyes locked on the stars, hoping they would give me the courage I so desperately needed at the moment.

He didn’t move for a long minute, and then I heard the tiny squeak his sneakers made against the grass.  And then he was emerged from the shadows and was standing over me, his face bathed in pale, silvery moonlight. 

My hands trembled, despite all my efforts to remain still, as he lowered himself to the ground beside me.  The rough denim of his jeans brushed my arm and I choked back a gasp.

“Hi,” he said softly, so quietly I had to strain to hear him, despite the unearthly quiet of the night.

I tilted my chin until I could see his face, look into his beautiful blue eyes.  “Hi,” I breathed. 

I didn’t smile, just continued looking at the face that I’ve seen in my dreams forever.  Slowly, deliberately, I sat up, curling my legs underneath me, making myself as small as possible.   Grass stuck to my bare legs and arms, but I made no move to brush it off.  That was insignificant.  The only thing that mattered in the universe right now was sitting beside me. 

I fought to control my trembling and just continued gazing at him steadily, waiting for him to make the first move, to determine the course of our future.

He swallowed and closed his eyes, and my heart clenched painfully as I feared the worst.

And then those beautiful eyes opened and met mine, and I could see all the love in the universe reflecting in those deep blue depths.  His fingers touched mine, and I felt an electric shock course through me.  I know he felt it too, as his fingers trembled slightly, but he didn’t pull away, and I fought back a sigh of relief.

His fingers threaded with mine, the touch of his hand reassuring me that everything would be okay.  “I love you,” he told me quietly, simply, knowing that there was nothing more that needed to be said. 

The next step was up to me.

*

Part Thirty-Four - Alex

I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears as I waited for her reaction.  Nothing in my life had ever felt more important - no test had ever made me as nervous.  But at the same time, I had never felt so alive, so free.

Her beautiful eyes closed, and my heart sank.  I couldn’t bear to look at her anymore, and my eyes dropped to where our hands were still joined.  I briefly considered letting go…but I couldn’t.  Not yet, not if this brief contact would be all I would have of her for the rest of my life.  I didn’t ever want to let go of her.

Then her thumb began gently stroking the back of my hand, and my breath caught in my throat.  I looked up at her face, barely breathing, not daring to hope…

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled.

“I love you, too,” she told me, her voice barely more than a whisper, her words almost lost from the soft sound of the wind whistling through the trees.  But it didn’t matter…I would’ve heard her anywhere, any time, even standing in the middle of a hurricane.

She looked frightened, almost, and I dropped her hand and wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair.  “I won’t hurt you,” I promised, feeling her tremble slightly.

“I know,” she answered simply, and I couldn’t hold back the grin any longer.  I, Alex Whitman, love Isabel Valenti…and she loves me, too!

She smiled back at me before pulling away.  “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I nodded, standing up and pulling her up beside me.  I watched her slip silently into her house, and a few moments later, I saw a faint glow coming from her bedroom window upstairs.  Then the light went out, and she emerged from the house wearing jeans and a red sweater, smiling happily at me, and I knew I’d never seen her look so beautiful before.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her jeep.  “Where are we going?” I asked as I climbed in beside her.

She started the car and coasted out of the driveway, only giving it gas when we were halfway down her street.  “I want to show you something,” she told me, her golden hair flying as the wind whipped around us. 

We headed out into the desert, surrounded by a silence only experience by two people truly comfortable in each other’s company.  I felt no need to talk; I was content just looking at her, being close to her, as the stars twinkled down on us.  It was easy to feel like we were the only two people on the planet.

And then the jeep stopped.  I glanced around, casually at first, and then with growing fear.  Why here, of all places?

Please don’t let this end before it can begin…

*

Part Thirty-Five - Isabel

I watched his face drain of all colour as he looked around, and my fingernails dug into the palms of my hands in response.  Please, let me be right, let this be right…

“Alex?  Is something wrong?” I asked, proud that my voice was even, despite the tremors that ran up and down my spine.

“No…” he replied, looking everywhere, anywhere, other than my face, and my heart sank a little.  I wanted so much for him to know me, see me, the real me.  That meant laying all of the cards on the table, no matter what it could cost me.  And if he didn’t know the truth, like I suspected…well, then, I could just go ahead with Plan A.  I could leave, and never look back.

But I had to tell him the truth.  Before he got too deeply involved.  Before it was too late.

Before it hurt too much when he left me.

“Why are we here?”  His voice shook me out of my reverie.

I choked back a sob that threatened to burst out.  I’d been dreading this, putting this off ever since I had driven into Roswell with Mia and Kyle, but I’d known it was only a matter of time.  I had to do this, had to put the demons at rest if I ever wanted a real life.  I had to put my past behind me if I was going to go on…with Alex.  He deserved to know the truth about me, from my own mouth, no matter what I suspected he already knew. 

And if he leaves me, if he runs away from me in fear or disgust…so be it.

Now it was my turn to avoid looking him in the eye.  “You know I’m adopted, right?” He nodded, and I absently ran my hand through my wind-tangled hair, dreading what was coming next.  If I’m wrong, and he doesn’t know…I’ll be giving up my life for nothing, one part of my mind warned.  Strangely enough, the voice echoing through my head sounded like Mia.

It doesn’t matter…he’s worth it.

“Yeah,” he said, clearly wanting me to go on.

I took a deep breath.  “What you don’t know, what no one knows, is that Amy’s not my aunt, like everyone thinks.”  He looked vaguely confused, but I couldn’t stop to explain.  If I stopped, I knew I’d never gain the courage to say it again.  “My mom and sister found me when I was a little girl, right over there.  I was all alone, wandering around in the desert.”

His eyes widened and he finally looked at me, really looked at me, and in that moment he saw into my heart.  But he didn’t say anything.  He knew there was nothing to say.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up the rocky embankment behind me, until we reached it.  The place I’d remembered all my life, the door that held the secrets of my past and would determine the course of my future.  The sun began to lighten the sky as I waved my hand over the surface instinctively, revealing a glowing silver handprint - something I knew would be there, somehow.

And then I pressed my much smaller hand against it, and the cave wall began to slide back.

I swallowed once, pushing back my fear of the unknown - the cave where I was born and of the future I had chosen, a future where I couldn’t pretend to simply be Isabel Valenti, daughter of Amy and Jim, sister of Maria and Kyle.  I was choosing my birthright, embracing my alien side…and desperately hoping that I could keep my human love.

Tears trickled down my face, but I ignored them.  I dropped Alex’s hand and walked through the doorway.  I had made my choice, and now it was time for him to make his.

Please don’t let this end before it can begin…

*

Part Thirty-Six - Alex

I watched her step inside of the cave, tears running down her cheeks, and I had to stop myself from reaching out to her, pulling her into my arms and keeping her there, where I knew she’d be safe. 

But I couldn’t do that.  I could see the determination, the resolve, sparkling in her beautiful chocolate-coloured eyes.  I could only be there with her, supporting her…and only until she found out the truth about me, about what I’ve done.

When she finds out, I’ll be lucky if she ever lets me near her, ever again.

Silently, I followed her into the cave.  I saw her shiver, but I knew it was from fear, not cold.  “Isabel?” I asked cautiously.

She turned to face me, and I could see the glimmer of a smile on her face even as the tears continued to fall, despite the dimness of the cave.  “This was where I was born,” she told me softly, her voice trembling.

From fear of how I’d react, I realized.

I pulled her into my arms and held her close.  “I’m not going anywhere,” I promised her as her shivers increased.

I felt, rather than saw, her smile.  And then she pulled away, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward.

“Right there,” she whispered, pointing to the pod on the lower left.  The pod I knew was hers.  “That’s where I come from.  That’s where I was…born.”  Her voice sounded haunted.  “I remember it…not a day goes by.  Not a day passes when I don’t remember, relive it in my mind…”  Hesitantly, her hand stretched out and touched the surface of the pod, one elegant finger tracing the edge.

“You can tell me anything,” I told her honestly, noticing the fear on her face when she glanced back at me.  The tears had finally stopped, but she still looked…broken.

“I know,” she whispered.  “There were others.  Two boys…I saw them leave ahead of me…they wouldn’t wait.”  She paused, staring at the pods, obviously deep in thought, searching the distant corners of her mind.  “And a girl, with blonde hair, like mine.  But she didn’t break out of the pod.  I waited, because I didn’t want her to be all alone.  Like I was,” she added in a tiny voice, and my heart broke for the little girl she once was.

She plunked down on the dusty ground unceremoniously, pulling me down with her.  She ran a hand over her eyes, drying her cheeks, and looked at me seriously.  “Do you know what I am, Alex?”

I’d known this was inevitable, that the truth would catch up to me eventually. 

I swallowed nervously.  “Yes.”

*

Part Thirty-Seven - Isabel

“Yes.”  With that one word, my instincts told me to run…but my heart told me to stay.

I’m through with trusting my instincts.  My instincts never made me feel this way before.

“You really do know.”  I smiled a little, just wanting to bask in the feeling of peace.  Asking him about the dreams, about how he knew, can wait.  “And you’re not running away?”

He kissed me softly, tentatively...perfectly.  Our first kiss...

“Never.”  He paused, cupping my cheek, and I snuggled closer to him, leaning against his chest.  I could see that he was debating whether he should say something.  I stayed quiet, knowing he would tell me when he was ready.

Absently, I traced tiny hearts in the ground with my index finger as I studied him.  His face reflected the odd glowing green lights that still illuminated the pods…the same light that kept me company that first lonely night that I waited in vain for the other little girl to emerge.  He looked worried.  He kept glancing at me nervously and running his hands through his hair.

“Isabel, there’s something I have to tell you,” he said seriously, taking my free hand in his. 

Simultaneously, our cell phones rang.  I fished my cell out of my back pocket.  “Hello?”

“Izzy?  It’s Maria.  Where are you?  You sound like you’re in a tunnel.”

“Something like that,” I replied, knowing now was not the time to deal with a worried sister.  “What’s up?”

“What’s up?  It’s seven in the morning and you’re god knows where, and you ask me what’s up?”

I winced.  “Oops.  I kind of lost track of time.  Do Mom and Dad know yet?”

“No.”  I could practically hear her grinning.  “Dad got called out to deal with a hit and run at six am, and Mom just left for an early-morning faculty meeting.  So you’re safe.  But Izzy, you’ve got to get home right away.  Dad could be back any minute.”

“Okay, I’m on my way.  I’ll be home in about twenty minutes - cover for me?”

“You got it, chica.”

“Thanks.”  I pressed end and grabbed Alex’s hand.  He looked slightly dazed, just staring at the phone in his hand.  “Come on,” I told him, pulling him out of the cave after me.  I spared the time for one last glance around as the entrance slid shut, and then started down the rocky embankment.  “Everyone’s wondering where we are.”

He nodded and climbed into the passenger’s seat of my jeep, finally shaking off his stupor.  “Who was on the phone?” I asked, wondering what could have affected his mood so much.

“My sister,” he told me flatly.  Shivers ran down my spine.  His voice sounded dead.

My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. “We have to talk.”  His voice was still that scary monotone.  “You know I love you.  But now I need you to trust me.  Can you do that?”

I swallowed nervously.  “Yes.”

*

Part Thirty-Eight - Alex

“Isabel, there’s something I have to tell you,” I said seriously, taking her free hand in mine. 

And then our cell phones rang, loud in the stark silence of the cave.  I pulled mine out of my pocket, mentally cursing the day Tess convinced me to buy the damn thing.

“Hello?” I said, making my annoyance clear.

“Alex?  Where are you?  Max and Michael are here, and they’re pissed.  Isabel Evans wasn’t at home when they went to get her.  You know, to tell her.”  Her voice dropped to a whisper.  “If she’s with you, they’re gonna throw a fit.”

“She’s with me,” I admitted, dazedly.

“Is she?  You know.”

I glanced at Izzy, saw her animatedly talking to someone on her cell phone.  I grimaced, swallowing the bad taste that came in my mouth.  I was betraying her, right after she’d trusted me with the most important secret in her life.  “Yes.”

Tess sighed loudly.  “I know this is hard for you.”

“You have no idea,” I snapped, venting my frustrations.

“I probably won’t ever know, either.”  My sister’s voice sounded sad, and I felt guilty for hurting her, on top of my guilt for what I was doing to Izzy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, and I could practically see her waving her hand dismissively.  Then her voice turned serious.  “They’re going to be waiting for you both at Isabel’s house.  As soon as I finish getting my stuff, we’re leaving.”

“Damn,” I whispered, cutting the line and simply staring at the phone in my hand.  And then Isabel grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the cave behind her, into the early-morning sunlight, chattering happily as she climbed in the jeep.  Little did she know the world as she knew it was about to come crashing down around her shoulders.

All because of me. 

And now I’m going to lose the most important person in my life.

No.  I shook my head firmly.  I wasn’t going to give her up, not without a fight, no matter what happened.

“Who was on the phone?” she asked cautiously.

“My sister,” I told her flatly, my voice sounding dead to my own ears.  Her hands clutched at the steering wheel as she stared straight ahead, and I winced a little. “We have to talk.”  I paused, not wanting to scare her more than I had to.  “You know I love you.  But now I need you to trust me.  Can you do that?”

I could see her swallow nervously.  “Yes.”

“There’s some people that are going to be waiting for us at your place, and I need you to remember that I love you, no matter what they may say.”

She glanced at me, and I could see her bottom lip was trembling.  “You’re scaring me,” she said in a tiny voice.

I sighed, running my fingers through my rumpled hair.  “I know,” I said as we rounded the corner to her street.  I could see the Evans jeep and my own car parked outside her house, and there wasn’t time to say anything more.  “Just trust me,” I told her, a little desperately, as she pulled into her driveway, and the front door of her house swung open, revealing her siblings, my sister and the rest of the merry little band of alien followers.  “It’ll all be okay.”

I hope.

*

Part Thirty-Nine - Isabel

I shut off the motor and barely managed to climb out of the jeep before Mia launched herself on me.

“I was so worried when I woke up and you weren’t there!  Don’t ever do that to me again!”

I smiled and hugged her back as Kyle looped his arm around my shoulder in a kind of half-hug.  He gave me a grin that told me he was just as worried as Mia had been, but he was a lot calmer than our fiery sister.

That Michael boy snickered, and Mia pulled back, glaring at him.  Kyle and I exchanged amused glances; we both knew from personal experience that you never messed with Maria Valenti when she was having a family moment and lived to tell the story.  No matter what else was going on in her life, to Mia - and all of us, really - family always came first…and now Michael, as much as she might like him, was going to find that out the hard way.

I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in my laughter as she stalked across the front lawn towards him, and gave silent thanks that it was so early most of our neighbours weren’t up yet.  Quietly, like a big cat stalking it’s prey, she circled him a few times, and confused, he kept twisting to face her.  Finally, she took a few steps closer to him.  “Don’t.  You.  Ever. Laugh. At. Me. Again,” she told him, accentuating each word with a poke of one finger.

He was easily a head taller than my tiny sister, but he just nodded silently.  But it was obvious that Mia had caught his attention by the way he stared at her as she pivoted and walked back to Kyle and me.

Mia linked arms with me and pulled me inside, leaving the others to trail behind.  “Dad won’t be back until after we leave for school, so you don’t have anything to worry about from our parents,” she whispered.  “But these guys came looking for you earlier, and they refused to leave.  Said they’d wait for you to get back.”

“Any idea what they want?”

She shook her head and plopped down on the couch beside me.  “No.  And I don’t like it one bit,” she added as Kyle led everyone else into our living room.

I risked a glance at Alex, who looked panicked.  I smiled at him, trying to get him to calm down, but he just seemed to get more agitated.  Mia nudged me, and I decided to take the initiative.  I was on home turf, right?  I had the advantage, not them, and if there’s anything I learned from my dad over the years, it’s to use what you’re given.  “To what do I owe the honour?”

I watched as Max and Michael exchanged speaking looks.  “We know what you are,” Max said simply.

Mia grabbed my hand and squeezed it painfully as the words echoed in my head as Kyle moved between where we were seated on the sofa and the rest of them protectively.  For a second, the world seemed to swim in front of my eyes, and then I steeled myself.

“What are you talking about?” I was amazed my voice sounded so calm and level.

“We know where you come from,” Tess said softly.

I looked at her, sitting off to the side next to her brother.

Alex.  His face…he looked worried, sad…guilty.

He knew…

“Yeah, Albuquerque,” I told her, tossing my hair and standing up.  I’m not the Ice Princess for nothing. “That’s no big secret.  What’s with all the drama?”

“We know where you really come from, so cut the crap,” Michael told me.  “We know you’re an alien.”

The world went quiet, and all I could hear was the rapid thump of my heartbeat.  I fought back the tears that threatened to escape as I remembered the phone call from his sister.  He’d betrayed me already.

“Get out.”

Michael’s head snapped up to look at me.  “We’re not going to-”

“Get the hell out.  Now,” I screamed, cutting him off.  I swivelled to face him.  Alex.  “Don’t ever come near me again,” I whispered. 

“Isabel, I love you,” Alex said desperately.

“You heard her,” Kyle said, grabbing both him and Michael by their arms and pushing them towards the door.  “Leave my sister the hell alone, or I swear I’ll make you both regret the day you were born!”

Liz gave me a sympathetic look as she passed by, pulling Max with her as Tess trailed behind them.  “I’m sorry,” she said.

I heard the door slam, and I felt something break inside of me.  My legs gave out, and I collapsed on the floor, where the tears came.  Mia pulled my head onto her lap and stroked my hair as Kyle watched helplessly.

“It’ll be okay,” she kept whispering, as I cried harder, picturing his face, shining in the pale moonlight, telling me he loved me.

I hope…

*

Part Forty - Alex

I could see it in their eyes when I got out of the jeep.  The sympathy in Tess’, the worry in Liz’s.  The cold fury in Michael’s, the betrayal in Max’s.

I knew it was all going to go to hell in a few minutes, and I would lose her, once and for all.  I would lose Isabel, the only girl I’ve ever loved.

Tess hugged me briefly as Isabel and Mia talked.  “It’ll be ok,” she whispered.  But I could see that she didn’t believe her words any more than I did.

I looked up when I heard Michael snicker.  Tess pulled away, and I could see her surreptitiously inching closer to Kyle. 

Then Maria stalked towards Michael like an enraged virago, and circled him.  Michael actually seemed impressed when she warned him not to mess with her anymore.

And then she grabbed Izzy and pulled her into their house, leaving Kyle to escort the rest of us in.  I could see the sisters whispering, their blonde heads close together, and I felt my heart clench.  This could be the last time I was ever near Isabel Valenti, ever again.

She smiled at me from across the room, and I tried to hide my panic, but I know she saw right through it.  She knows me, maybe better than anyone else…the same way I know her. 

And that’ll make it that much more difficult if I lose her.

“To what do I owe the honour?” she asked.

I watched as Max and Michael exchanged speaking looks.  “We know what you are,” Max said simply.

Dammit, Max!  I wanted to scream.  You’re going to scare her…don’t you know how frightened she is that her secret will come out?

I wanted to grab her hand and drag her out of the room, protect her, but I couldn’t.  The truth was coming out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I watched as Maria grabbed her hand and Kyle moved between where his sisters were seated on the sofa and the rest of us protectively.  I choked back a bark of laughter.  No one could protect her now, not even me.

Especially not me.

I think that’s what hurts the most.  I failed her.  And now I’m going to lose her, lose us, before we ever really had a chance to find us.

Her face turned a sickly, translucent grey-white, and for a minute, I was scared she was going to pass out.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, her voice perfectly even, perfectly calm.  I was the only one who heard that little tremor of fear.

“We know where you come from,” Tess said softly.

Her eyes flicked from Tess to me, and I knew the minute she realized that they knew her secret…because of me.  Her face hardened, and her eyes grew steely.

“Yeah, Albuquerque,” she said her, tossing her long hair and standing up.  Doing the whole Ice Princess act that allowed her to hide all of her hurts from the world.  Didn’t she know it wouldn’t work with me?  “That’s no big secret.  What’s with all the drama?”

“We know where you really come from, so cut the crap,” Michael told me.  “We know you’re an alien.”

The world went quiet, and all I could hear was the rapid thump of my heartbeat.  I watched her face turn even paler, if that was even possible.  And in that moment, I knew I lost the most important thing in my life.

“Get out.”

Michael’s head snapped up to look at her, and I wanted to scream, to yell, to beg, to plead, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good.  I’d lost her already.  “We’re not going to-”

“Get the hell out.  Now,” she screamed, cutting him off.  She swivelled to face me.  “Don’t ever come near me again,” she whispered.  Her voice sounded dead, a scary monotone.

No…

Anything but this…my worst nightmare, my biggest fear, come to life.

I had to try.  I couldn’t give her up without a fight. 

“Isabel, I love you,” I said desperately.  I didn’t care who heard me say it.  I didn’t care about the pained looks Tess and Liz gave me, the surprise in Max’s eyes, the shock in Michael’s.  Nothing else mattered except Isabel.

“You heard her,” Kyle said, grabbing both me and Michael by our arms and pushing us towards the door.  “Leave my sister the hell alone, or I swear I’ll make you both regret the day you were born!”

Then I was on the front lawn, and the door slammed behind us.

And in that moment, I could swear I actually heard my heart breaking.

*

Part Forty-One - Isabel

“Izzy?” Mia asked cautiously, some time later.  I really had no idea how long I had been lying on the floor, crying for a lost love, a secret betrayed…a life forfeit.  “Kyle called Mom and told her you were sick.  She said you could stay home…I’ll stay with you, if you want.”

I shook my head, willing my tears to stop, and offered her a weak, watery smile.  “Go to school.  I’ll be okay…I just need to think.”

I glanced at my sister, and I could see the concern radiating off her face, but somehow, I just couldn’t bring myself to care.  It was like a haze had enveloped my body, turning my heart to ice and obliterating my emotions, protecting me from the pain that surrounded me.

Protecting me from him.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.  “Yeah, I’m fine…it was just a…shock.”

“You don’t have to worry about them, Iz.  No one hurts my sister and gets away with it.  They’ll never even look at you again,” Kyle promised.

If only my big brother could help…

No one can help me.  But I can help myself…I can protect my family in the only way I know how.

The ice around my heart melted a little.

I hugged Mia and Kyle tightly before they left for school, trying to absorb everything about them, trying to show them how much I love them, how much they’ve meant to me…how much they’ll always mean to me.

The lock clicked shut behind them, and my emotions came flooding back.  I fought back a semi-hysterical giggle.  The men in white coats wouldn’t let a simple lock stop them from snatching me away.

And they would come, I knew.  It was just a matter of when.  Maybe tonight while I slept, maybe during breakfast tomorrow. 

Would my mother cry?  Would Daddy try and stop them?

Would they test Kyle because I healed him?  Would they tell Mia - my sister, my best friend - how much she meant to me?

Would they even tell my family what they did to me?  Would they hurt them for taking me in, making me a Valenti?

I wouldn’t let that happen.  I would be long gone before they came.

I owed the people I loved that much, at the very least.

The tears came again, and this time, I made no attempt to stop them.  Quickly, I packed a bag of the things that meant the most to me and wrote a letter to the only family I had ever known, the only family I ever wanted to know, and I told them goodbye.

I waved a hand over my head, and my long blonde hair turned short and brown, my brown eyes turned green.  A stranger’s face stared back at me, and I smiled a little, but I couldn’t bear to leave my entire identity behind, not quite yet.  I pulled on Mia’s blue t-shirt, the one we’d bought together when we went shopping the last time, and Dad’s sweater, the one that still smelled of smoke from our last family camp-out, and I began to feel a little safer in this strange new body.  I grabbed the keys to my jeep, slipping my copy of the house key off the ring and laying it on the kitchen counter.  I wouldn’t need it anymore.

I threw my bag in the backseat and started the engine, driving sedately down the street and to the city limits.  There, by the ‘you are now leaving Roswell’ sign, I pulled over.  With a wave of my hand, I altered the colour of my jeep and changed the license plate and registration numbers, and another facet of Isabel Valenti disappeared.

I started the engine again, and with one last look in the rearview mirror, I drove away, while silent tears dripped down my cheeks.

And in that moment, I could swear I actually heard my heart breaking.

*

Part Forty-Two - Alex

“What the hell were you thinking, Alex?  We don’t know anything about her.  She could be working with her father, for all we know!  She could be trying to kill us!”

Tess gave me a compassionate glance and then shot Michael a bored look.  “And she could be just as confused and scared as we are, Michael.  Did you see the expression on her face this morning?  Total shock.  She was scared to death.  I’d stake my life on it.”

“Oh, really, Tess?  Because if we believe your brother over there, you just may be.  She’s not a harmless little girl like you two seem to think.  She’s a walking time bomb.”

“Michael, she did seem scared,” Max told his brother calmly.  “Let’s hear Alex’s side before we start jumping to conclusions.  What were you two doing together?”

I swallowed hard, knowing I had to tell them the truth.  “We were at the cave.”

“The cave?” Liz whispered.  “You mean their cave?”

“It’s her cave too,” I reminded Liz, fighting to keep the sudden burst of anger that shot through me from invading my voice.  Everyone seemed to forget that Isabel wasn’t just a stranger.  She was part of them, too.

“How does she even know where it is?” Tess asked, tilting her head to the side and absently playing with a carrot stick.  “We searched the desert for years before we found it.  And it took us even longer to figure out how to get in.”

I shrugged.  Then something caught my eye.  Someone was moving rapidly toward us. 

Kyle Valenti barreled through the people gathered in the quad for lunch, his sister Maria trailing behind him, with an equally determined expression on her face.  But before I could say anything, he was there.  He slammed his hands onto the table, making Tess and Liz jump slightly.  “Stay away from my sister,” he warned us, looking us all in the eye, one by one.

“I wouldn’t threaten us if you know what’s good for you, Valenti.”

“Oh, no?  Why’s that, Michael?” Maria asked.  “I’m sure my father would be really interested in hearing how you attacked my sister this morning.”

“We didn’t lay a hand on her,” Michael growled, but through all his bravado, I could see his fear.  Sheriff Valenti - former FBI agent Valenti - was the stuff nightmares were made of for him.

Maria saw right through him.  She arched an eyebrow at Michael, a gesture I recognized from Isabel, and for an instant, I wondered who had picked up the expression from whom.  “Verbally assaulted, then.  Either way, he’ll be very interested in knowing that you’re the reason my sister is at home right now in bed, crying her eyes out.”

A pang of guilt ran through me, and my mouth ran dry as I pictured her alone and scared.  You did that to her, I told myself harshly.

“You,” Kyle said, pointing at me.  “You stay away from her.  You’ve hurt her enough.”

“Look, I don’t know what you think we’ve done to Isabel, but-” Max began.

“I was there.  I know exactly what you did to her.  And I was there after you left, as she lay on the floor crying.  I don’t know what kind of sick town we moved to, where sick people like you make up lies to scare someone.  But if you don’t stay away from Izzy, then I’ll make you regret the day you were born.”

“Oh my god,” Tess breathed, bringing her hand up to her mouth.  “We didn’t tell her about us.”

Liz paled slightly.  “No wonder she was so scared…”

“What are you two talking about?” Maria asked wearily.

I could see Tess trying to figure out an easy way to say it, and then come to the same conclusion that I had already realized.  There was no easy way to say something like that, and I had found that out the hard way.  “We’re aliens, too,” she said quietly.

Both Maria and Kyle looked puzzled for a second, but I saw the moment her words hit home.  Kyle’s eyes widened and his clenched fists went slack while Maria slowly sank onto the bench. 

Kyle cleared his throat.  “All of you?” he asked hoarsely.

Max shook his head.  “Just me, Michael and Tess.  Liz and Alex are…like you.”

“You couldn’t tell her that?” Maria hissed furiously.  “You couldn’t have said, ‘Oh, gee, Isabel, the reason we’re curious is because we’re from the same place.’  Would that have been so hard?  She thinks men in white suits are going to come and take her away!”

My heart wrenched painfully, and I made a split-second decision.  “I’m going to tell her the rest of it,” I told them, my voice determined.  There was no way any of them were going to stop me.  I couldn’t bear to leave her there, scared, for a minute longer than necessary.

Kyle grabbed my arm.  “You’re not getting near my sister unless I’m there.”

“I’m going, too.  Someone’s gonna have to pick up the pieces after you hurt her again,” she spat at me.

“I won’t hurt her.  I love her,” I told her.

Maria stared at me for a second, and finally nodded.  “No, I don’t think you will,” she said softly, almost to herself.  She turned to the others.  “Are you coming or not?”

“We’re coming,” Max answered for the others, stepping into his natural role as leader.

Tess grabbed my hand as we all piled into our cars, squeezing it tightly.  “It’ll be okay,” she promised.  “She’ll understand, and everything will be okay again.”

The drive to the Valenti house was quick, but to me, it seemed like an eternity.  I jumped out of the jeep almost before Max had stopped it, and followed Maria and Kyle into the house.

“Izzy? It’s Mia and Kyle.  Everything’s okay,” Maria called, running upstairs.  A minute later, she was back.  “She’s not up there,” she said with a frown.

“She’s not here,” Kyle told her.  His voice sounded wooden, and his skin had taken on a sickly grey hue.  “She’s gone.”

A letter fluttered from his hands to the floor, and Mia caught it.  “Oh god,” she cried, and with a strangled gasp, she slid to the floor, following the paper’s route.

Isabel was gone.  The girl I loved was out there, somewhere, afraid and alone.

Bile rose in my throat.  I’ve lost her, and it’s all my fault.

*

Part Forty-Three - Isabel

I stopped trying to fight the tears that ran down my cheeks as I sped along the highway, each mile that passed taking me further and further away from my worst nightmare…and my most treasured dream.  The road swam in front of me as the tears blurred my sight, but I couldn’t summon enough emotion to care anymore.  I was drained, physically and mentally… but still, the tears came.  And I didn’t care, I realized detachedly.  It really wouldn’t matter too much to me if I crashed.  After all - everything I thought I had to live for was back in Roswell.

How could he do this to me?  How could he take away everything that meant something to me - my family, my home…my heart…

Shivers ran down my spine as I pictured my family.  Mia crying, brokenheartedly, as Kyle held her stoically.  He’d cry, late at night, when he was alone, I knew.

And my parents.  Oh, god, my parents…this would kill them.

Almost as much as it was killing me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.  The rushing wind stole my words away, and girlishly, I half-hoped they found their way back home.

Home.  Roswell.

Less than a week, and it was already home.  The place I dreaded, the place that haunted my memories and my nightmares as it simultaneously called my name.  Even now, miles and miles away, I could still feel its pull.  The pull of my family…and the pull of my past.  The place I could never risk returning to, not ever again.

I’ve never felt so very alone in my life.

Then I straightened my shoulders and waved my hand over my face to eradicate any trace of the tears.  No matter what, Isabel Valenti does not simply give up.  Retreat and regroup, sure.  But she sure as hell doesn’t give up.

I blinked away the last tears and started concentrating on the road.  I really had no idea where I was - I had simply wanted to put as much distance between me and Roswell as possible - and it didn’t particularly matter. 

I shook my head firmly to banish negative thoughts, and leaned over to flick on the radio as I squinted at the road sign in front of me.  The turn-off to Albuquerque.

I choked back a semi-hysterical giggle.  Figures.  I lose my home, and I head back to the only other home I’ve ever known.  But there’s nothing there for me anymore, I realized, as I fought back more tears, and headed further north towards Santa Fe.  It was just as good a place as any.  It didn’t matter anymore.

Nothing mattered.  I don’t belong anywhere. 

And I don’t know if I’ll ever find the way home.

*

Part Forty-four - Alex

Knowing that I was responsible wasn’t the worst part.

The not knowing hurt more.  Not knowing what happened to her, not knowing if she was alive or dead.  That’s what kept me awake at night.  That, and the knowledge that she was out there somewhere, alone, all because of me.

Tess and Liz keep telling me it’s not my fault.  I just shake my head and walk away.  I know the truth, just as well as they do.  Isabel Valenti would be safe at home if it wasn’t or me.  And if I doubted that for a second, all I had to do was look at her family.

Amy Valenti’s eyes are permanently red-rimmed and puffy now, it seems.  She’s taken a leave of absence from her job, and she spends the entire day calling youth shelters and hospitals and sheriff’s offices across the country.  I’ve sat across her kitchen table and watched her.  Her hands shake so badly as she dials the numbers that it sometimes takes two or three attempts to punch in the numbers correctly.  As the day wears on, her face turns a sickly grayish colour, and I know it’s only a matter of time before she collapses entirely.  That’s when I call Sheriff Valenti, and he leads her upstairs to her missing daughter’s bed, where she’ll lay, sobbing, until she finally cries herself to sleep.

Jim Valenti…he’s aged a year in the last two weeks.  Occasionally, I’ll wonder how we ever feared this man.  His absolute adoration of his missing child is obvious in every word he speaks, every step he takes, every breath he takes.  But his strength is what I admire the most.  Through all the phone calls, faxes, appeals to the public, the only time I’ve seen him cry is when he realized she had taken his sweater with her.  But he’s just as scared as Mrs. Valenti.  Sometimes, I’ll see him sitting alone in her room, clutching an old doll or teddy bear, and I can almost hear his heart breaking.

Mia seems broken, fragile…the strong, happy girl I met is gone, and I’m not sure she’ll ever come back if her sister doesn’t return.  She clings to Michael like a life preserver…when she’s with him, it’s the only time she doesn’t cry.  I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but if it wasn’t for his support, I really think this would have crushed her spirit. 

Kyle, in the beginning, put on a good front.  I think he really believed that she’d be back in a day or two, that she wasn’t gone for good.  But then a day passed, then another and another, and still she didn’t come back.  On the fourth day, he lost it.  And I watched from the shadows in the backyard as my baby sister dropped the ground and rocked him as he cried.  They haven’t been separated since.

Then I look at Liz and Max.  They’re each other’s rock, and they’re coping, although I know that Max feels almost as guilty as I do.  Liz spends her time in the kitchen, cooking enough food for a small army, while Max organizes the ground search parties. 

And me?  I’m haunted.  The image of her eyes, swimming with unshed tears, the way they were when I last saw her, haunts me.  The musical tinkle of her laugh - a laugh I was beginning to think I would never hear again - echoes in my mind.  The brilliance of her smile radiates through my memory.

I’ve stayed at her house, with her family, since she left.  I’ve tried to help them, any way I can.  I owe them that much.  I took their daughter, their sister, their friend from them.  I made Isabel leave.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.

I can feel her moving further away from me with every passing minute.  And every second without her, I’m dying a little inside.  I feel like I don’t belong in my own skin anymore.  I don’t belong anywhere, not without Izzy. 

And I don’t know if I’ll ever find the way home.

*

Part Forty-Five - Isabel

I tried to fight it.  I really did.  I holed up in a little dive of a motel outside of Santa Fe for nearly a week and I cried all day.  And at night, I visited their dreams, and my heart broke a little more.

Finally, the waiting and the silence got to be too much for me, and I began driving again, further north.  But even that got to be too much.

I saw their faces everywhere.  I had to fight the impulse to run up to strangers and beg them to forgive me.

I tried to be strong.  I tried to tell myself that I was doing the best thing for everyone - for them, for me...and for him - no matter how much I hurt. No matter how much I needed them, no matter how much I missed them.

With every mile marker I passed, every minute that went by, the urge to go back home grew stronger.  And finally, I gave into it.

I had never felt so relieved as when I spotted the outskirts of Roswell.  But I knew I couldn't go back, no matter how much I wanted it.  Their lives, and mine, depended on it.  And I tried to convince myself that simply being near them was enough.

So I went to the cave.  It was the only home I had left.

But it hurt almost as much to be there.  Everything reminded me of him...Alex...and it made me remember everything about that one magical, perfect night.  Sometimes, I even fancied I could still smell him, feel him.  I wanted to go to him more than anything, to yell at him for betraying me, to hug him and make him promise he'd never let me leave again.

Those nights, those long, endless nights that I stayed awake, staring at the glowing green light from the pods, I remembered. 

And I wished, with all my might, that he would sense me, somehow, and help me find my way home. 

*

Part Forty-Six – Alex

Every day, her absence ate away at a little more of my soul.  Every night, my dreams were empty, alone.  I never knew I could miss anyone – especially someone I barely knew, yet knew better than anyone else on the planet, all at the same time – as much as I missed her.  The only thing I did know is that her absence was killing us all a little more each day.

It should have been obvious, I guess.  I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out…pain, maybe?  Or maybe neither one of us was ready for me to figure it out.  Because finding her meant we both had to deal with what had happened – the hurt and the fear and the lies and the half-truths.  And maybe neither of us was quite ready to deal with that yet.

So I walked around in that pain-filled haze, day after day, night after night.  Until one night.  My eyes popped open from another lonely dream, but this time, I didn’t feel the aching reminder of what had happened.  I felt her.  I just knew where she was, without a doubt or a reason.  And I knew nothing was going to keep us apart, anymore.

In some ways, it was like the first night I went to her - the night that began and ended everything for us.  It was hot and sultry, and my clothes clung to my body as I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  But this time, I vowed, there wasn’t going to be any goodbyes.  I was going to bring her home, where she belonged, if it was the last thing I did.

I grabbed my car keys and tip-toed down the hall, knowing that there was no reasonable explanation I could give my parents for my midnight jaunt.  Naturally, though, my attempt at absolute silence and haste meant I forgot to skip the squeaky step on the stairs.

Tess heard me leaving, and ran after me, carrying her sneakers in one hand and struggling to pull on a jacket with the other. “I’m coming with you,” she hissed, and I didn’t want to waste the time arguing with her.  She was still wearing her pajama bottoms and a tank top, and I refused to wait long enough to let her change.  She just climbed into the car and hung on for dear life as I peeled out of the driveway.

“Where are we going?” she asked finally, after watching me run two stop signs and a red light in silence.

“I know where she is, Tess,” I told her calmly, wincing a little at her screech of surprise.

“What?  Where is she?”

“The cave.  Your cave.”

Tess looked just as stunned as I’d felt when I woke up and realized we’d looked everywhere for her except the one place she’d actually go.  Then she shook her tangled curls and dug her cell phone out of her coat pocket. 

“No one else can know, Tessie,” I warned her, pulling a sharp left out of town.

“Kyle and Maria need to know, Alex.  And so do Michael and Max and Liz.  We’re just as much to blame for this as you are,” she added softly.  “It’s going to take all of us to get her back.”

I glanced at her, nodded, and then hit the gas peddle.  She could call them, and they could come…but I was going to be their first.  Because no matter what Tess said, this was my fault.  And if I ever wanted the future with her that I knew we could have, I’d have to be the one to find her.

Hold on, Isabel.  I’m coming, I told her silently as we sped up a little more.

*

Part 47 – Isabel

I didn’t want to need him.  I didn’t want to want him. 

But I do.

The cave…when I was really little, I’d think about it, all the time.  Some days, the thought of it scared me so much that I’d start screaming for my mother and sister in broad daylight, knowing that the only other people connected to me had left me once, scared that they would leave me, too.  For the rest of the day, I couldn’t let them out of my sight, scared that the hand of god would reach down and snatch them out of my life.  Those nights, Mom would take me and Mia into her big bed and we’d all sleep together.

A few times, I even tried telling my mom and Mia about the boys.  Mom just passed it off as fears that stemmed from my abandonment.  She’d rant about evil people who never deserved to have children for a few days, and I’d keep her in sight at all times.  Eventually, I’d start sleeping in my own bed again, and it would all be forgotten.

My irrational fears didn’t stop when Mom married Daddy, like she thought.  It’s just that after I understood what I was, I was even more frightened that I had been before.  But I couldn’t share it with my family anymore.  Even at seven, I knew that they were in danger because of me, because of my secrets. 

Over time, the knowledge of the cave seemed comforting, in a strange way.  I was connected to this place, the same way I’m connected to him.

That’s how I knew he was there, before the door in the rockface even slid open.  I watched the two of them step through and pause for a moment, waiting for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.

I knew the second he saw me, curled up on the ground next to my pod.  He didn’t run towards me – I think he knew that would be the exact worst thing he could do – but I heard the soft sigh of relief and saw his sister clutch his arm.

In all the nights we’ve been apart, I wondered how this meeting would go.  Would the feelings I had for him make me forgive him? Would the fact that he loved me make his betrayal okay?  Would he apologize?  Would I run into his arms?

None of that happened.  We just looked at each other in absolute silence while his sister watched us.

And then it happened.  It’s like the air around us started to hum, then solidify, becoming as thick as taffy and drawing us together like metal to a magnet.  Our connection grew, and suddenly, we were somewhere else, a place where only the two of us existed.  A place with no past, no hurts, no worries.  There were no more questions or doubts or fears, because in that second, we could read each other’s hearts.

Then the spell was broken, and time began again.  Slowly, he walked towards me and pulled me to my feet.  “Welcome home,” he whispered.

*

Part 48 – Alex

“Home?  I don’t know where that is, not anymore…”  Her voice was barely a whisper, and I had to strain to understand her.  Her eyes were filled with so much fear and so much emptiness that my heart hurt for her.  I caused this.  Me. 

“Isabel…they’re…not from around here, either.  Max and Michael, they’re the boys that left you that night,” I choked out desperately, and pointed frantically over my shoulder to where my sister stood, crying.  “Tess is the girl you told me about, the one you waited for.”

“No,” she cried, shaking her head frantically, tears running from her eyes and dripping off her chin.  “I don’t believe you.  I don’t believe you!”

“It’s true,” I said, begging her to believe me.

She backed away from me slowly, her entire body trembling.  I tried reaching out to her, tried to tell her it was okay, and my fingers brushed her shoulder, when she jerked away almost violently.

That’s when it happened.  She collided with the glowing green pod – the one I knew she had come from – and it collapsed.  She fell backward, if that was even possible, and disappeared.  I heard Tess gasp even as I ran forward.  My heart was pounding so loudly that I couldn’t hear anything else.  And in that second, I knew what it felt like when people say their blood runs cold.

Because mine did.  I couldn’t lose her again.  Not now.  Not after I’d just gotten her back.

“Isabel!” I cried, pushing through the green goo and diving in after her.  I could hear Maria Valenti babbling in near-hysteria behind me, and Tess’ soft tone of reassurance, but none of that mattered.  Nothing mattered but her.

My shoulder hit the ground hard as I landed in an undignified heap in the cavernous room.  Carefully, I sat up, hoping I hadn’t broken anything, and glanced around.  The room was a perfect cylinder, the rocky walls of the outer chamber replaced by strange metallic panels.  A huge crystal dominated the center of the room, casting an odd, almost iridescent light around us.

“Isabel,” I whispered again.  I wanted to shout her name, but I couldn’t.  Because whatever this place was, anger and fear and negative emotions didn’t belong here.  It was a place of peace, of near holiness.  A place so foreign, so alien, that I knew nothing on our world could ever compare.

“I’m here,” she breathed, and my neck swiveled until I spotted her, huddled on the floor by the crystal.  Her fingers were hovering just above the crystal’s surface, and her face was suffused with a joy I’d never seen before.  With the shimmering light hitting her hair from behind, she looked like an angel.

My angel.

“I’m sorry,” I told her softly.  “I didn’t tell them, I swear.  They’re just as scared as you are.  They don’t want to hurt you…I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her voice was gentle, but I could see the tears shining in her eyes.  But there was something else there, too.  Hope.  “I can’t forget the past,” she warned.  “It wasn’t good…but it was real.”

“I don’t want you to,” I promised.

She took a breath and her eyes fluttered closed.  Then, her other hand reached towards me, and my heart jumped.  “Maybe…maybe this time, we can get it right.”

*

Part 49 – Isabel

His hands traced my face, and I shivered.  “I’m not promising anything,” I whispered, knowing that he could see right through my feeble lie.  I was promising him something. 

I was promising him me.

And was that really so wrong?  In that mad dash from Roswell, I thought it was, when I took the time to think at all.  He could destroy me, hurt me, break my heart…so why did I think it was worth it?

I searched his blue eyes, the blue eyes that haunted me every time I closed my eyes, and I knew the answer.  It was worth it.

Because it meant I could have him.

It was worth the fight, worth the pain.  Because in the end, our love matters.

The others clattered inside, breaking us out of our trance.  “Izzy!” Mia cried, launching herself into my arms and pushing Alex out of the way.  I laughed joyously as Kyle joined us, making an Izzy-sandwich, feeling the bond, the connection spring up between us again, something I hadn’t even know I’d lost.

“Don’t you ever leave again,” Kyle whispered hoarsely, tugging both of us to our feet.  His arm was still wrapped around my shoulders protectively, and Mia was still clutching me, almost as tightly as I was holding on to her.  They were my family, and I belonged with them, no matter what.  I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to figure that out.

“I promise,” I whispered, burying my face in Mia’s shoulder as he pulled us into a bear hug.

We stayed that way for what felt like forever, but was really only a matter of moments.  Finally, I pulled myself apart, squeezing Mia’s hand when she whimpered in protest.  And then I stood tall and faced them.  I’d changed my appearance back to normal a while ago, and I was absurdly grateful.  Because this was how I needed to meet them.  As the real me, Isabel Valenti.  I’m strong, and I’m damned proud of it.  I kept my secret – our secret – and protected my family.  I stood on my own two feet and survived after they left me.  And if they didn’t want me the way I was, then too damned bad.

“I’m sorry for the way things happened,” Tess said quietly.  She paused for a second, laying her hand on my arm gently as tears welled up in her eyes.  “After you…left, Alex told me that you’d waited for me that night in the cave.  It felt so…lonely, waking up there alone….thank-you.”

I gave her a watery smile and pulled her into a hug, knowing we’d just formed a bond – a shared past, and a shared love for Alex.

As one, we turned to face Max and Michael.  The two brothers stared at us silently, and I’m sure our faces echoed theirs.  Beside me, Alex’s hand reached for mine, our fingers tangling together comfortingly, giving me courage to do what needed to be done.

“Hello…my name is Izzy Valenti, and I’ve spent my whole life waiting for you to find your way back to me.”

*

Part 50 – Alex

Her eyes looked so hopeful as she looked up at them, and my heart went out to her.  In that instant, she seemed so young, so fragile, and I hoped desperately that they wouldn’t hurt her any more than they already had.  But I knew she wasn’t fragile.  She was strong.  Things hurt her – I hurt her – but she didn’t break.  She bent, and maybe she lost some of her innocence in the process, but she survived.

I just hoped she wouldn’t have to survive any more.  She deserves to live.

Max swallowed, and my eyes dropped to the hand he held out to her.  She glanced at me, and I gave her fingers one last squeeze.  Then I stepped back, and watched.

Her hand reached for his, and then their palms touched tentatively, and it was like a spark ran through them, spurring them to action.  Max pulled her into a fierce hug, the same kind of brotherly hug I’d seen Kyle give her earlier, and finally, I understood he was just as worried about her while she was gone as the rest of us were, despite his calm exterior.

Max stepped back, one of his hands still resting on her shoulder, the other reaching for Tess’ hand, as we silently watched Michael.  He didn’t move at first, and then, suddenly, he stepped forward.  He didn’t touch her – just stood, looking at her.  She stared back, silently, and her eyes were carefully guarded, the murky depths churning with untold emotion.  To anyone else, it would’ve looked like they were in a staring contest. 

But I knew better.  I could feel the energy around them tingling, and I could almost see them reading each other’s souls.  I could almost feel the bond, the connection, that sprung up between them, a remembered connection that ran so deep it was almost tangible.  I could almost hear the silent communication between them, the ‘I’m sorry’ and the ‘that’s okay’ that was left unspoken.

Then they both smiled, and Michael pulled her into a hug.

That was when Tess stumbled, and her hand brushed against the shimmering crystal that dominated the room, and everything went to hell.

*

Part 51 – Isabel

A high-pitched whine filled the air, and the light from the big crystal-like thing grew blinding.  My eyes shut automatically, and I stumbled when someone grabbed me and pulled me away.  My back collided with the metal of the walls, which was somehow heating up and almost throbbing with energy, and I felt strong arms wrap around me.

Alex.

His hands brushed across my face, and I opened my eyes to see his worried face.  I smiled a little, even as my hands shook in fear, and held him tighter.

“What’s happening?” my brother screamed, and even though he was only a few feet away, I had to strain to hear him.  He was holding a trembling Tess in his arms, and I automatically searched the room for Mia, suddenly scared that something had happened to her.  There was Liz and Max, on the far side of the room…and there was my sister, huddled on the floor in Michael’s arms, and I sighed in relief.

Alex’s eyes followed mine, and he gave me a grim smile.  “She’ll be fine,” he told me, his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath.  “He may act like an idiot at times, but he’s a good guy.  And I think he loves her.”

I nodded, feeling a little reassured, although the rational part of my mind told me I was crazy. 

“We have to get out of here!” Liz screamed, as she and Max made their way over to us.  My eyes searched for the opening my pod had made.  I blinked twice, and actually rubbed my eyes with my hand…but it was gone.  The opening was gone, and we were stuck here.

“How?” Mia cried, now beside me.  I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly, trying to reassure her even as I panicked.  By now, we were all in a tight group, and I could see the fear in everyone’s eyes.  Tess was crying, and Kyle was trying to calm her down, and I’d never seen him look so grim…

The energy around us built, and you could almost feel the electrons buzzing around the room, as the whine became a scream and the light grew to a white-hot intensity.  My eyes shut, and Alex’s arms around me were almost bruising in their intensity. 

And then, just as suddenly as it had started, everything stopped.

My eyes opened, and a beautiful woman, dressed in white, was bathed in the golden light of the crystal.  For a moment, I wondered if I’d died, because she looked almost too ethereal to be part of this world.

And then she spoke, in a language that was strange and familiar all at once, her voice melodic and like nothing I’d ever heard before, yet something in me recognized.

Hello, children…

*

Part 52 – Alex

Isabel trembled in my arms, and I heard Tess gasp as I fought to control the urge to grab them, the two most important women in my life, and run away.  I’d finally gotten Isabel back – I wasn’t about to lose her now.

“Alex,” she whispered, her voice unsure and hopeful, all at the same time.  “Do you think that’s…my mother?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, simultaneously hoping that the woman was, for her sake, and wasn’t, for mine.

If you are seeing me now, that means you are alive and well.  I take this form because it will be familiar to you, and it will help you understand what I am about to say. 

Isabel’s hand clutched mine, and I saw tears forming on my sister’s cheeks as she clung to Kyle.

You came from another world, a planet named Antar.  Your father, my husband, was ruler, the last in a line of monarchs who ruled in peace for millennia. You are my children, my sons and my daughters, and your father and I love you so much.  Zan, Rath, Vilandra, Ava.  You were our pride, our hope, our love.  You symbolized everything we wanted to leave the next generation as our legacy.  But you were never given the chance.

“Oh my god…” she breathed, and I watched as the trembling girl in my arms gazed at the glowing woman standing before us.

When you were still children, our scientists came to us and told us our sun was exploding.  They told us there was no hope of our survival.  That night, your father and I devised a plan.  We could not save everyone, and as much as we loved our people, we loved you children even more.  We could not bear to let you die. So we gathered our most trusted scientists to us, and had them design a space craft for you.

Isabel was sobbing, her tears matching the silent ones that trickled down the woman’s cheeks, and the pure agony that was reflected on the woman’s face was enough to make me want to cry, too.  I knew this woman loved the four of them, Isabel, Tess, Max and Michael.  The heartbreaking ache in her eyes was the same look I saw in Amy Valenti’s, after Isabel ran away.

It took many long months, and many sleepless nights, but just days before our sun became critical, the ship was finished.  We placed you in stasis, my darlings, and sent you into space with the message, with the hope that you would find a safe planet, where you could grow up, happy and safe.  And then, we enclosed this message, because we wanted you to know that no matter what – you are loved, my darlings, by your mother and your father.  Always.

The image flickered once more, and then the woman faded away, leaving the cave silent except for the quiet sobs of Isabel and Tess and the ragged breaths of Max and Michael.  Then, finally, Tess pulled away from Kyle and Isabel stepped out of my arms, and the two girls hugged tightly.  Moments later, Michael and Max joined them, in a tight huddle of shared love and profound sadness.

Isabel was the first to pull away, and walked towards me, her eyes gazing unerringly into mine.  Her hand wrapped around my neck, and I pulled her into my arms, and then her lips were covering mine, and I felt like I was flying, soaring…

*

Part 53 – Isabel

I tried to throw everything I was feeling into that kiss, as I clung to him as if there would be no tomorrow, no happily ever after, no fairytale ending to our story – the ending we deserved, the ending I would spend the rest of my life fighting for – because for the first time, I realized the truth.  It could all end in an instant, as it did for my birth parents.  And I’d almost ruined it already.  I’d almost thrown everything away with my fears and mistrusts.  Nothing would ever stop us anymore, I swore.

When we finally pulled apart, my fingers traced his face, memorizing his features.  “Take me home,” I whispered.  “It’s time I see my parents.”

Behind us, Mia squealed happily, pulling me away from Alex into a happy hug.  Kyle’s arms came around me from behind, making an Izzy-sandwich, and I laughed, hugging them back.  I may have gained some biological siblings, but I didn’t know them.  I’d never know them the way I knew Kyle and Maria, the brother and sister I’d grown up with, my best friends, my other halves, my partners in crime, my cheerleaders, my shoulders to cry on.  They owned a big piece of my heart, and no siblings from outer space could ever replace them.  And I knew they knew that, as we hugged.

We were all strangely on the way back into town.  Michael was driving my jeep with Mia sitting next to him, while Alex sat in the back with me, holding me tightly.  The closer we got to town, the more I trembled, and even I wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or fear.  But he didn’t say anything, just stroked my hair soothingly and kissed my forehead gently.

I watched as Max and Tess stopped their cars in front of our house, and Alex grabbed my hand reassuringly.  “It’s going to be okay,” he promised.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment, gathering my courage.  “Would you guys mind waiting in the backyard?  Mia and Kyle and I need to talk to our parents alone…I need to talk to my family.”

Alex nodded, and kissed me again briefly, before stepping back, heading for the backyard, Max, Liz and Michael trailing behind him.  Tess turned to go, too, but stopped.  Her hand caught mine in a tight squeeze.  “We’re your family too…and we love you.  We’ve been missing you, and we never stopped waiting for you to come home.  I just wanted you to know that.”

Then she was gone, and together, Kyle, Maria and I walked up to the front door.  They were flanking me, offering their support, as I opened the front door and stepped inside.  The hall was dimly lit and cluttered, a far cry from the place I had left, and I fought to stop the tears that threatened to fall again.  “They missed me, huh?”

“We all missed you, Izzy,” Maria whispered, giving me a watery smile, as Kyle nodded emphatically and pulled us towards the kitchen.  “We love you – you’re a part of this family. This is where you belong.”

“They’ll be in here,” he whispered.  “They’ve turned it into command central.”

I nodded, and squeezed their hands tightly, once, and then dropped them.  It was time for me to stand on my own two feet.

Slowly, I pushed open the door, and my breath caught as I saw my parents, pouring over maps and stacks of missing posters, with my face covering them.  They looked haggered and worn, and I felt it like a punch in the gut.  I was trying to keep them safe, from the men in white suits I’d been convinced were coming to take me away…but I’d never even imagined what losing a child would do to them, and I silently swore that I’d never leave them again.  But I’d never have to…now I knew the truth.  Roswell, this family, was my home.

“Mom?  Daddy?  I’m home.”

*

Part 54 – Alex

It wasn’t hard to hear Amy’s cry of excitement or Jim shouting Isabel’s name.  I smiled a little, thankful that at last, the haunted look in Mrs. Valenti’s eyes would fade away.  Maybe now, some of the hurts would be laid to rest.  Maybe now, we could all look to the future instead of dwelling in what ifs.

“Do you think she’ll tell her parents?” Michael asked suddenly.

Liz shrugged, leaning back against Max’s chest.  “Would it be so bad if she did?  You saw them, when she left.  They love her.”

“But…what if they tell?  Valenti’s FBI, after all…” Max said, looking at his girlfriend with real fear in his eyes.

Tess leaned against my arm and sighed.  “Michael, Max, would your parents turn you in?”  They hesitated, and finally shook their heads, almost in sync, and in that moment, I saw them as true brothers, and not just adoptive siblings.  “The Valenti’s won’t, either.  And it might be helpful if we had some adults on our side with connections like Sheriff Valenti’s.”  Her voice dropped, and her fingers twisted the birthstone ring on her fingers that our parents had given her on her last birthday.  “God knows I want to tell my mom and dad.”

I pulled her into a one-armed hug, as I stared at the spot in the grass where Isabel had laid, that night when we began.  She’d pulled me to her that night, like a moth to the flame, and I was helpless to resist.  I didn’t want to resist, not ever again. 

I don’t know how long we sat their, each of us lost in our own thoughts, before the back door swung open.  Isabel’s face was wet with tears as she made a beeline towards me, and I caught her in my arms, watching carefully as Kyle tugged my sister to her feet, kissing her carefully, and Michael’s big hands traced Maria’s face gently, carefully, as if she was made of glass.

“What happened?”

Her eyes were closed, her head resting right over my heart.  “I told them everything…every lie, every secret…”

“How did they take it?”

Her eyes were swimming with tears as she finally looked up at me.  “They said I was their daughter, no matter where I came from.”  She blinked rapidly, but it was a fighting battle, as more tears trickled down her face.  I’d never seen her look so beautiful….  “I know someday, I may have to leave again – leave them, leave you – because of who I am…” her voice caught on a sob then, and she pulled away, almost folding in on herself as she cried.  It was as if the turbulent emotions she’d been feeling all these weeks and months had finally exploded, and she was helpless to stop them.

“If you feel like leaving someday, I’m not going to try to make you stay,” I told her, ignoring Maria’s gasp of outrage and Kyle’s near growl of dissatisfaction.  “Because I will follow you anywhere you go.  You can run and you can hide if you have to, but you can’t escape the truth, Isabel.  You can’t escape the fact that I love you, and we belong together.”

She was silent for a moment, so still that I don’t think she was even breathing.  And then, she moved towards me, a flurry of motion, crashing into my arms.  Our lips met, and then I was the one who didn’t breathe.

“I’m not running anymore, Alex…I’ve finally found my way home.”

And with her in my arms, I have, too.

End.