Batsy is the Bat Familiar SCENE 1 Alucard walks through the door of his father's coffinroom. Carefully he glides across the floor and reaches for Dracula's coffin. He lifts the lid, slowly. Alucard: Pop....(he whispers) Dracula: ..... Alucard: Pop wake up (he shakes Dracula Gently) Dracula: Boy what do you want.(he yarns) Alucard: Boy, that morning breath could deteriorate someone. (fanning the air) Dracula: Adrian (He gives Alucard "THE LOOK") Alucard: Pop, can I have..... Dracula: NO!!!(He Yells) Alucard: Would you let me finish Dracula: I don't care what it is son. You're not getting it! Alucard: But Pop.....(He whines) ...All I need is.... Dracula: NO..... No.... Noo!! Alucard: ..... 10 Grand Vlad looks at his son for a moment and reaches under his pillow as Alucard smiles. Suddenly he slaps the crap out of Alucard Alucard: Pop....what the HELL...wait.. (He tries to get as the old vampire kicks down again) Dracula: Get your pale arse out...(punch)of...(thunk)my...(slap)room! Dracula beats Alucard to the double-door entrance of his coffinroom and picks him up, throws out. Dracula: Be more like your brother D and get a job(BAAM!!)Slam the door behind him. SCENE 2 Later that same day. Alucard sits down in father's smoke room and rolls a "PHAT ONE" Alucard: You know what Batsy? (Puff) Pop is a little stressed out (puff-puff) Batsy:!Squeeek! @#No I Think He's a little aggravated, Master!@~. Alucard: He loves me you know. That's why he.... he hit me, Right? Alucard takes off his sunglasses and strokes his faces. Batsy studies his swollen eye. Batsy: Master I........ Alucard: It's okay Batsy, I'll just try harder to please him (Puff) Damn is some good shit. Hey Salem Witch what did you put in this Salem Witch: Snake's Venom, my Lord (she bows) Death walks in the smokeroom Death: Master D has arrived, Young master. D walks into the smokeroom as Alucard stands to greet his brother. They hug and french kiss(Mob Style) D: Adrian what happened to you eye Alucard:......... Dad was still asleep when we talked this morning D: ...... Alucard: He loves me though (he fakes a smile) D:(slap) What's love got to do with it D's left hand: Got to do with it. D: Shut up.... or I'll clapp Everyone in the room: ................. Alucard: Salem Witch, fetch us some blood S.Witch: As you wish my lord D: Hello Batsy (He tickles her stomach) Batsy: Hum-Huuum (Like the Pillsbury dough boy) Alucard: Sit down Brother D: (takes a chair) Adrian you should consider moving out od CastleVania Alucard:.......... D:Adrian look, there's whole world out there, just waiting to be found by you. You just have to go out and grasp it Alucard: But I don't know that many people, and..... D: Nether did I. Hell I got out anyway. Look, if you stay father will probably beat you to death. Or worse fuck up you pretty face Alucard: Soooo where to..... Salem Witch walks back in S. Witch: Your drinks, my lords Alucard: Well done my dear. (He looks over to D as he removes his hat combs his finger through hair) Sweetie go over there and give D a blow job, He's exhausted.(He whispers) S. Witch: As you wish my lord. D: What ... you cannot... Ohhhh Alucard: Relax, we're that ones that bite. He passes a blunt over to D D: So does...ump... does this mean you're leaving Alucard:...... I guess, but I have no cash D: Don't worry we'll knock over a couple bank tomorrow.(He pulls the witch on his "package" Alucard Isn't that illegal S.Witch/D/Batsy: ..... D: Brother we're already damned (the Salem witch start to stroke again) Alucard: No one will be hurt, right? D: That I can't promise. I mean there's always some guy that wants to be the "Town Hero" Alucard:So you've done this before? D: Sure, how do you think I fund this Vampire Hunter franchise Alucard:(grabs his chin) Hummm....interesting Batsy: Master... can accompany you on your quest for money and better living D's left hand: The Bat fuckin' talks? Alucard: Chill out it's the weed, it takes our senses to another level D: What's in it anyway S.Witch: Unh... Snake's Venom...yes SCENE 3 Alucard and D ride towards the town of Transylvania. Alucard: D theses cybernetic stallions are magnificent D: That, they are Alucard: If we aren't going to rob the bank today, why are going into town? D: We need to plain 3 different escape routes out of town. We need to know how the security works, And to know if we need a diversion for the authorities. Alucard: Well a diversion sounds fun D: What do you mean? Alucard: You'll see..... just that part to me D: What ever Alucard: Which bank are we going knock-over D: The BIG ONE(they chuckle) Suddenly a whip crosses their path. D & Alucard: What the Hell? A tall slender man interrupts the Vampires' Journey The Stranger: I am sorry but, I cannot allow you to enter this town (heroically) Alucard: Ahw shit, its just one of those Belmont Guys. Lets go D D: Who? (he looks at alucard) Alucard: Of the Belmont clan D: ....... Alucard: Vampire Killers! D: Ohhhh! So what now? Alucard: Just ignore him (they continue into town) Belmont: Hey wait...... didn't you hear what I said? (he smacks his whip against a nearby tree) Alucard: Ohhhh I'm sooooo Skeerd D's left hand: Don't by skeerd (softly) D: Yeah Punk, trees don't hit back! Suddenly the old tree begins to lean toward the vampire hunter Belmont: Ohhh Crap! (the hunter quickly dives towards the vampires) Alucard: Get your face out of the mud son (he smiles) it's disgraceful D: That's right bow to us MORTAL (the Belmont slowly rises and dusts himself off as the vampires dismount) Alucard: (walks up to the vampire killer and lifts his chin) Richter.... Belmont: ............. Alucard: Wait a min....shouldn't you be dead and/or aged? I mean you smell human Belmont: Yeah I should....(sigh)but I'm not Alucard: Don't take this the wrong way, but WHY THE HELL NOT?! D: ........ Belmont: You remember 90 years ago when I fought Dracula: your father D& Alucard: Nope Belmont: (Sigh) Of course you don't, you weren't there. Anyway to make a long story short: when I made the final blow Dracula's blood splashed on me and stained my chest( he un-buttoned his tunic to the stain)That night I tried desperately to get off but....... D & Alucard: Ohhhhhh Alucard: Pop's blood probably stained all the Belmonts'. Howcome your so special Belmont: Who knows D: I think I know why....... son do you have any offspring Belmont: No, my wife left me for a werewolf hunter. And they took my farm and now I'm town joke D: Life's a Bitch Alucard: Yeah (pats Belmont on the back) well good luck to Ya! (they return to the horses) Belmont: Hey..... D: What is it now? Belmont: Why are you going into town Alucard: We need a Virgin sacrifice Belmont: You bastards D: ....(looks over to Alucard) Adrian leave 'em alone Alucard: What? (playfully) Okay, were just looking around Belmont: For what? D: Damn, you're nosy Belmont: Fine....... I don't care what you do to those annals anyway Alucard: Really (in a sneaky tone) D: Don't you dare Alucard: C'mon D he's....... D: Adrian we don't know him like that Alucard: C'mon man...... D: .......(gives Alucard "THE LOOK") Alucard: Okay, if he turns on us I'll him Belmont: What?! Alucard: Nothing. (smiles) Ricky, how's security in the banks in your town Belmont: I don't know.... why Alucard: Would you be our hostage D: Adrian Belmont: What's in it for me? Alucard: You'll get to of soap to wash off that stench Belmont: Up your's, Damn girly man D: Ha! Thats a good one (they all chuckle) Belmont: Alucard, what happened to your eye? Alucard: I woke father (sadly) It okay cause he loves me right D(fakes a smile and pushes the hair away from his face) D: ....(drops his head) Belmont: (breaks the silence)sorry I asked Alucard looks away as tear drop his eye (sniff) SCENE 4 The boys sit around a fire after mapping out the town D: Well Belmont, sense you know the town better than us. You can tell which escape route is better Belmont: Well (takes the map away from D and studies it)none of them D: What? Why? Belmont: They're too risky and predictable. I think we should take the manhole on this route. That way we each get a bag and split up and meet here... outside of town Alucard: Damn that's brilliant Belmont: Yeah but its gonna be hard because to the fact that we don't know many men is be after us D: Hmmmmm you're right (grabs his chin) Alucard: D we had this conversation earlier. I told you to leave it up to me Belmont: What are you talking about.... D: Right, but can you really handle that bro.... Alucard: Are you doubting me D: Yes Alucard: Ouch Belmont: You guys are too much (they chuckle) D: Well, it's time we head back home Alucard: When are we going through with this D: Tomorrow, I guess Belmont: Wait D, you said something about me not having kids, is what's keeping me from dying D: It's like this. ( sit on a log) the other Belmonts never had problems with dying or passing on, because they had offspring and the power of the father's blood stained on their bodies were passed down to their children. The power that was passed down grew weak each day the child lived and it also said to be the main source of the Belmont Clan's power Alucard: makes sense (nods) Belmont: How ironic is that? (he laughs) when we Belmonts attack Dracula we use a portion of his own power. How extraordinary D: If you say so Belmont: Does he.... D: Father is well aware of it Alucard: Belmont, why don't you come to CastleVania for the night Belmont: But... your father would have me killed on sight D: Belmont, a caveman persona doesn't fly well with your name Alucard: And besides,if he does you'll get over it Belmont: ........(gives Alucard the people eyebrow) Alucard: Richie I won't sleep tonight if you don't........(he whines) D: Cut it out Adrian Alucard: What? (he laughs) Belmont: Okay, just keep your ol man away from me D & Alucard: Deal SCENE 5 S.WITCH: MY LORD, DID YOU HAVE A PLEASENT JOURNEY(SHE GREETS ALUCARD) ALUCARD: YES DEAR. (HE TAKES HER HAND) COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND HAVE THE REST OF THE SERVANT PREPARE A ROOM FOR OUR GUEST. S.WITCH: AS YOU WISH BELMONT: CASTLEVANIA IS LESS THREATENING THAN I REMEMBER (HE LOOKS AROUND) D: THATS BECAUSE YOU ARE A WELCOMED GUEST, YES (LOOKS BACK AT BELMONT) BELMONT: I GUESS SO ALUCARD: BELMONT TAKE A SEAT PLEASE. AND.... A HEAVY VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND: ADRIAN.....D....! BELMONT JUMPS UP AND HAUL AZZ D&ALUCARD: YES POP DRACULA: GET IN HERE NOW! D& ALUCARD: (RUNS INTO THERE FATHER'S OFFICE) YOU CALLED POP DRACULA: MY WORD! BOY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? (D LOOKS A DRACULA WITH THE "PEOPLE'S EYEBROW") DRACULA: WELL, SPEAK UP SON! ALUCARD: I......UMM IT WAS DONE IN SPARING PRACTICE, SIR. D: ...................(LOOKS AT ALUCARD) DRACULA: D WHEN DID YOU MAKE IT HOME ( STANDS TO SHAKE HANDS WITH D) D: EARLIER TODAY, SIR DRACULA: GOOD,GOOD. (SITS BACK DOWN) TELL ME DID YOU GET ENOUGH TO EAT.... HAVE EVEN EATEN ANY THING SON? D: YES SIR, MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE REALLY (THEY CHUCKLE) ALUCARD WALKS TOWARD THE BALCONY AND SITS DOWN AS BATSY FLIES OVER TO COMFORT HIM. BATSY: MASTER , ARE YOU OKAY ALUCARD: ...............................(HE CONTINUES TO LOOK OUTSIDE AT THE STARS) THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL AREN'T THEY, BATSY? BATSY: I DON'T KNOW MY LORD I'M BLIND ALUCARD: YES I FORGET (HE SMILES) BATSY: WILL YOU BE OKAY? ALUCARD: YES MY FRIEND SHE TRIES SO HARD (HE THINKS) BATSY: MASTER..... ALUCARD: YES DEAR? BATSY: ...ARE REALLY LEAVING CASTLEVANIA ALUCARD: I.... (HE'S INTERUPTED BY HIS FATHER) DRACULA: ALUCARD YOU ARE DISMISSED (ALUCARD RISES AND MAKES HIS WAY OUT AND SO DOES D) NOT YOU D I WANT TO TALK YOU SOME MORE TAKE A SEAT ALUCARD: (TURNS AROUND) GOOD NIGHT POP DRACULA: YEAH, CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU ALUCARD: HOW COULD MOTHER MARRY SUCH AN ASSHOLE BATSY: MASTER, YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT WAY. NO MATTER HOW BAD HE TREATS YOU HE'S STILL YOUR FATHER ALUCARD: WHATEVER THEY CONTINUE WALKING TOWARDS ALUCARD'S CHAMBERS DRACULA: ADRIIIIIIIIAAAAAAN! ALUCARD: I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW (WALKS BACK DOWN STAIRS) BATSY: MAYBE YOU FORGOT SOMETHING MASTER (ALUCARD ENTERS THE OFFICE AGAIN) ALUCARD: YES FATHER DEAREST DRACULA: LOOK WHAT DETH FOUND IN OUR REFRIGERATOR A FEW SECONDS AGO (POINTS TOWARD BELMONT) CARE TO EXPLAIN ALUCARD: ...............(DROPS HIS HEAD) DRACULA: WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL A BELMONT WAS DOING IN MY CASTLE. LET ALONE MY REFRIGERATOR!! EVERYONE IN THE ROOM: ........................................ DRACULA: FINE....( GRABS ALUCARD BY THE HAIR) ALUCARD: STOP! WHAT ARE YOU............... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DRACULA: DEATH WATCH THIS ROOM AND DON'T LET THAT RECH OUT UNTIL HIS HAIR IS CUT DEATH: AS YOU WISH MY LORD D: POP, DO YOU REALLY THINK CUTTING HIS HAIR IS... I MEAN IT KIND OF HARSH DON'T YOU THINK? DRACULA: THAT BRAT HAS TO LEARN (TURNS TOWARD BELMONT) AS FOR YOU ... UMM HAVE A SEAT!! D: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KILL HIM? DRACULA: NO I HAVE DECIDED TO GO LAGIT FOR A FEW YEARS. I NEED A VACATION, TAKING OVER THE WORLD IS STRESSFUL. YOU AGREE, SON D: YEAH (LOOKS BACK THE ROOM THAT HOLD HIS BROTHER) D'S LEFT HAND: D, THAT'S GOING TO DESTROY ADRIAN D: I KNOW DRACULA: STILL WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BROTHER (TAKES A SEAT) HE'LL BE FINE. HE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE ..... D: WHAT FATHER... ADRIAN CARES MORE ABOUT HIS HAIR THAN HIS FANGS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM?! DRACULA: RELAX SON YOUR BROTHER WILL BE FINE (THE DOOR OPENS AND OUT WALKS THE NEW ALUCARD.) COME HERE BOY ( ALUCARD WALKS OVER TOWARD HIS FATHER AND BROTHER. HE NOW HAS SHORT CEASAR TYPE HAIR CUT) PERFECT NOW IT'LL TAKE YOU YEARS TO GROW IT BACK AND DURING THAT TIME YOU'LL LEARN NEVER TO CROSS YOU FATHER. ALUCARD: (TURNS AND GIVES DRACULA A VERY BLANK AND INTIMIDATING LOOK) BITE ME (HE WALKS OUT BAM! SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND) DRACULA: WHAT HAS ....... (SIGH) FUCK IT EVERYBODY GET OUT ....... NNNOOOWWW! D: YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF POP. ADRIAN WILL GIVE YOU HELL AND HE PLOTTING AS WE SPEAK DRACULA: WHEN I WANT YOUR WISDOM I'LL ASK FOR IT! D: COME BELMONT. (BELMONT RISES AND FOLLOWS D OUTSIDE) SCENE 6 D AND BELMONT MAKE THEIR WAY UP TO THEIR ROOMS. BELMONT: YOU FATHER IS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE D: ........................ ( KEEPS WALKING) BELMONT: I'M SORRY I WAS OUT OF LINE. FORGIVE ME D: NO YOU'RE RIGHT BELMONT: SHOULD WE TALK TO ALUCARD... I MEAN AT LEAST TRY TO .... D: NO.... 'TIS BEST WE LEFT HIM ALONE BELMONT: WHY!? HE'S PROBALLY IN NEED OF A FRIEND RIGHT NOW! D: (HE STOPS) YES, BUT HE IS ALSO IN SHOCK AND UNSTABLE RIGHT NOW. IF WE ENTER HIS ROOM HE'D ATTACK US FOR SURE. I JUST PRAY THAT HE DOES NOTHING STUPID OR ILL. BELMONT: I SEE D: COME WE MUST REST WE HAVE A BIG DAY TOMORROW QUIETLY THEY WALK UP TO THEIR ROOM AND RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT SCENE 7 IN ALUCRD'S CHAMBERS LOCATED NEAR THE CHAPEL BATSY: I THINK YOU LOOK HANDSOME, MASTER ( SHE GLIDES HER WING ACROSS HIS CHEEK) AND NOW YOU MORE LIKE GUY THAN A GAL ALUCARD: BATSY I'M NOT WORIED ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK, OKAY. BATSY: ...................... ALUCARD: I'M SORRY, I KNOW JUST TRYING TO HELP. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT BASTARD MADE HIS SERVANT CUT MY HAIR. FUCKIN' ASSHOLE BATSY: MASTER, YOU SHOULDN'T SAY....... ALUCARD: WELL, WHY THE HELL NOT!! LATELY HE CLAIMS TO STAY COOL FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, YET HE'S TAKING HE FUCKIN' ANGER AND STRESS OUT ON ME! I DID NOTHING BUT GIVE HIM HEART AS MOTHER WOULD WANT IT. BUT WHAT DOES HE DO WITH IT? HE THROWS IT BACK IN MY FUCKIN' FACE! BATSY: ................ ALUCARD: I HATE HIM... HATE...HIM!! I CAN'T STAND THE GROUND THAT MY FATHER WALKS ON........MY OWN BLOOD. TELL ME WHY, TELL ME BATSY. BATSY: PLEASE DON'T ASK ME SUCH THINGS MASTER, I...... WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME REST AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN THE MORNING. ALUCARD FALLS IN HIS COFFIN AND CRIES HIMSELF TO SLEEP. DRACULA ENTER HIS SON'S ROOM. SLOWLY HE PULLS BACK THE LID OF ALUCARD'S COFFIN AS HE LAY SOUND ASLEEP. HE NOTICES A DRIED TEAR BENETH HE LEFT EYE. DRACULA: ONE LAST TEAR FOR YOU FATHER. I CANNOT BLAME YOU IF YOU COULD NEVER SHEAD ANOTHER HIM AGAIN. (HE SMILES) DEAR LISA WHAT HAVE I DONE? ADRIAN I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I STILL LOVE YOU. HE PLACES THREE ROSES UPON THE CHEST OF HIS SON. ONE RED, ONE BLUE, AND ONE YELLOW.