hard enough to break a heart
when you're worried about hurting someone
you don't want to hurt
but you see no way out
because the walls are closing in
and you can't even breathe enough to scream
or reach your hands out far enough
to push away the walls
harder still to know
that one who said he cared
doesn't care at all
not that you want him weeping
but it'd be nice if he hadn't lied
by promising he still cared
even though it hurt
and by promising he'd keep in touch
when he felt stronger
hurts so much to know
he's fine but he doesn't care
and that he doesn't want to know
and he won't tell me
he doesn't want to talk
and i can't try to talk
because i promised i would leave that choice to him
and i won't break my promise
even if he does
march 1998
back to
dreaming
...
or return to
books and poetry
...