SHE WAS LESBIAN WICCA
(My Sunglasses Were Burger King)

I.
She was lesbian Wicca
My sunglasses were Burger King
This might pose a challenge
To our church retreat fling

Her plan was to convert us
Baptist Fundamentalists
Mine was to baptize her
And tie her up by her wrists

II.
My tastes run to girls, too
And Christian evangelism
But it was my sense of fashion
That opened the first schism

She mixed me up a potion
That smelled of formaldehyde
So from the sun's blinding rays
I'd no longer need to hide

III.
Breaking my sad addiction
To Burger King design
Required all of Saturday
Leaving precious little time

To work my own little magic
A deviously sly trick
To break her sad addiction
To muff-diving broomsticks

IV.
Sunday would be our big day
For converting the heathens
By dunking them in water
We'd pave their way to Heaven

When came my witch's turn
To bathe in holy water
It took the entire church
To hold her body under

She screamed to Holy Jesus!
Swallowed by fire and brimstone
I found myself much aroused
As the Devil took her home

V.
I think of her quite often
As I'm staring at the sun
Where would my life be
Without her magic potion?
© 2000 Michael J. Farrand