She was lesbian Wicca My sunglasses were Burger King This might pose a challenge To our church retreat fling |
Her plan was to convert us Baptist Fundamentalists Mine was to baptize her And tie her up by her wrists |
My tastes run to girls, too And Christian evangelism But it was my sense of fashion That opened the first schism |
She mixed me up a potion That smelled of formaldehyde So from the sun's blinding rays I'd no longer need to hide |
Breaking my sad addiction To Burger King design Required all of Saturday Leaving precious little time |
To work my own little magic A deviously sly trick To break her sad addiction To muff-diving broomsticks |
Sunday would be our big day For converting the heathens By dunking them in water We'd pave their way to Heaven |
When came my witch's turn To bathe in holy water It took the entire church To hold her body under |
She screamed to Holy Jesus! Swallowed by fire and brimstone I found myself much aroused As the Devil took her home |
I think of her quite often As I'm staring at the sun Where would my life be Without her magic potion? |