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Did you hear the one about the Tycoon Who had a craving for Macaroon So he chartered a Balloon All the way to Cameroon? |
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But his pilot was a Poltroon Who flew them straight into a Typhoon Where they encountered a Monsoon And crashed into a wide Lagoon |
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There they met a wild Quadroon Who acted like a Picaroon Shooting the pilot with a Harpoon Leaving the scared and hungry Tycoon Very much a lonely Maroon In his wicker basket Cocoon |
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Still he dreamed of Macaroon So he swam the wide Lagoon Two pudgy thighs his Pontoon Straight out of a Lampoon |
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He came to shore at a Saloon Where he spied a wild Baboon Who played a very fine Bassoon While spitting in a brass Spittoon |
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Carousing drunkenly was a Platoon On manuevers from Rangoon The bartender a Raccoon Who measured shots with a Teaspoon Like something from a Sunday Cartoon |
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"I'll promptly pay you one Doubloon If you give me a Macaroon!" Declared our still craving Tycoon |
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There arose a red-nosed Walloon Who commanded this drunken Platoon He rose to spit in the brass Spittoon Silencing his fellows from Rangoon |
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"Did you think with one Doubloon These drunken soldiers you could Dragoon Just because you craved Macaroon?" "Absolutely!" cried our Tycoon |
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Whereupon the wild Baboon Struck our friend with his Bassoon Crowning him with the brass Spittoon To wild cheers from the Platoon |
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"Why do you treat me like a Buffoon?" Cried our bruised and battered Tycoon "All I want is a Macaroon For which I'll pay you one Doubloon!" |
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"We'll take your proferred Doubloon" Proclaimed the barkeeping Raccoon "And make a much-needed Festoon To be hung in the Forenoon From the remnants of your Baloon! |
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With this the wild Baboon Struck the hand of the Tycoon Sending his gold Doubloon Into the brass Spittoon |
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Our now penniless Tycoon Stuck his hand into the Spittoon To grab his only Doubloon But like the storied Baboon His fist fat with Doubloon Could not be pulled from the Spittoon |
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It took the entire Platoon Working through the Forenoon To decorate that Saloon With the shreds of a Baloon Draped into a bright Festoon |
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Hand still grabbing the Doubloon Thereby stuck in the Spittoon Our most avaricious Tycoon Was hoisted upward by the Baboon Becoming the centerpiece of the Festoon Without ever receiving his Macaroon |
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The moral, thus, for any Tycoon Who thinks to charter a Balloon To satisfy a craving for Macaroon Make sure your pilot is no Poltroon And steer well clear of any Typhoon Which might crash you into a Lagoon Anywhere close to Cameroon |