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Chapter 3: Terrible Fourteens The next few days passed by slowly. Annie wouldn’t talk to anyone but Michaela, and she was starting to warm up to Colleen. When it came to the males in the family, Annie would shy away and try to distance herself. Sully felt helpless, though he wanted to reach out and help the girl too. Michaela kept reminding Sully that she had been tortured by men, and was more than likely not ready to trust another one. Annie’s appetite had definitely come back, and she would eat whatever was brought up to her. She didn’t dare to leave Matthew’s bedroom except to go to the washroom or to answer nature’s call. She now let Michaela help her with her hair, and sometimes, Michaela would check on her in the middle of the night, if the baby woke her or she had a craving of some sort, and she’d find the young girl sitting by the window, the pale moonlight flooding down on her, cradling a baby doll in her arms. Michaela could only hope that the girl would be able to interact with the entire family by the time her baby came, because it wouldn’t be healthy for her to keep herself locked up in that bedroom with a newborn twenty four hours a day. She hadn’t let Michaela examine her, because when she’d let the doctor try, memories of the rape would cause her to draw away. She had let her check the baby’s heartbeat, and luckily, it seemed strong despite what its mother had been through. Michaela had had to convince herself that it was safe to go back to town and work. Luckily, Colleen was staying home with Connor and Daniel, so she could check on Annie from time to time. This was one of the reasons Annie was beginning to trust the girl. She was there to help too, like her mother. Another reason was that Colleen was her age, and being a girl in a man’s world was hard enough, especially at an age where growing up was beginning to become quite a bother. Colleen would bring the twins into Annie’s room and tell them stories before their naps, and Annie would sit beside the window and stare out, though she was listening to every word Colleen was speaking. Mostly, Colleen would tell the boys stories she heard as a child, but sometimes she’d tell them about her real mother and how much she loved life and her children. On this afternoon, Michaela was sitting at her desk, measuring out amounts of medicines she’d need, and taking stock of what she needed to order from Denver. She was finding it hard to concentrate, however, because the railroad workers were driving spikes in the center of town. In a few short months, the train would be puffing and sliding into town. “Dr. Mike?” came a voice from outside. The door was open, so it was useless to knock. Michaela looked up to see Loren Bray standing in the doorway. “Hello Loren. What can I do for you?” Michaela wondered. Loren walked in with a worried look upon his face. “Are you experiencing pain from the bullet wound?” “No, no,” he replied quickly. He shut the door, and Michaela knew this was serious. “Jake said he rode out by your place and saw a girl standin’ in one of the bedroom windows upstairs. Said she was young and looked like she was expectin’.” Michaela sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t discuss my patient’s condition with you.” “Patient? So it’s true?” “Yes, it’s true.” “He said she couldn’t be more than fourteen!” Loren exclaimed. “You’re lettin’ a girl who got herself into trouble without bein’ married stay at your house?” “You don’t know all of the facts, Loren, and I don’t believe it’s any of your business.” “It ain’t doin’ you a bit of good keepin’ her there. What are folks gonna think?” Loren looked at her as if he was a stern parent, concerned that his child was doing something she was going to regret. Michaela simply shook her head. “You don’t know the situation.” “He also said she looked like the that supposedly died a couple years back. Annie Black.” “As a matter of fact, she is,” Michaela replied, knowing she couldn’t tell him much more than that. “She’s not dead, and I will not discuss what has happened to her or what’s going on. I can assure you that she is safe in my home, and if anyone wants to complain about it, they can talk directly to me. As for you and Mr. Slicker, I think it would be best if this were kept quiet. That girl has been through a lot, and she doesn’t need a bunch of ignorant townspeople telling her she’s to blame.” Michaela felt her hormones surging, and Lorne knew it was probably a good time to leave. “I ain’t sayin’ nothin’ to nobody,” Loren promised. “But I thought you outta know that when people do find out, they’ll want some answers.” “And they won’t get them from me. Good day, Mr. Bray.” Loren opened the door and backed out of the clinic. Michaela stood, walked over to the door, and slammed it shut. She sighed heavily and leaned against it, knowing that soon, she was going to be hearing a flood of questions concerning Annie Black, and she couldn’t tell them anything concerning her case. “Michaela?” came Sully’s voice as he turned the doorknob and tried to open the door, finding that it was heavier than usual. “Oh!” Michaela exclaimed, backing away so her husband could come in. “I’m sorry.” He saw the stressful look in her eyes and knew something was wrong. “What’s wrong?” “Loren and Jake have seen Annie in Matthew’s bedroom window. People are going to start talking soon, Sully. They’re going to know she’s pregnant and think that she’s just another young unmarried girl who got herself into trouble.” “So tell ‘em she ain’t.” “I can’t discuss her case, Sully. That would be breaking a trust with Annie, and she needs to be able to trust me.” “Maybe you could talk to her.” “I think it’d only upset her,” Michaela replied, rubbing her rounded belly. She closed her eyes and put her other hand on her back. “I forgot how sore my back gets when I’m pregnant.” She sat down on a stool, and Sully knelt beside her. “Don’t let ‘em get to ya then,” Sully replied. “You’ve got enough to worry ‘bout right now.” “I suppose you’re right,” she sighed. “C’mon. It’s nearly four. We should be getting home.” “Alright. Where’s Brian?” “He’s with Mary and Anthony. Robert E. promised to bring him home before supper.” Michaela nodded, and stood. She grabbed her medical bag and left the clinic with Sully right behind her. *~* Connor and Daniel were napping upstairs while Colleen wiped down the dining table with a damp cloth. No matter how hard she tried, Colleen couldn’t get her little brothers to stay clean during their lunch. They quite enjoyed their little food fights, and Colleen always got caught in the crossfire. Today, they’d gotten her so dirty that she had had to wash her hair and scrub the stains on her dress out on the washing board. Annie had been pacing about Matthew’s room for the past hour. Colleen could hear the same floorboard creek every twenty seconds as she paced from one end of the room to the other. It was awful to hear the same sound over and over again, especially since it was almost hollow like Annie. It was as if the life had been taken from her when those terrible things happened. Colleen thought about it, and couldn’t imagine what Annie had gone through. She wondered if she would have reacted the same way had she been in Annie’s position. Colleen heard the cow mooing in the barn, and she remembered that it was her turn to milk her. Poor old girl. She’d been standing out in the barn all morning and afternoon. She figured she’d better get if over with now. Before leaving the house, she made a quick stop upstairs to check on her little brothers. She smiled when she saw their beds sitting side by side, filled with the sleeping boys, as a empty cradle lay across the room, waiting to be occupied by the new Sully baby. Annie’s pacing had seemed to stop, and Colleen had been instructed to check in on her if things got too quiet. She crept down to the room, and opened the door. Annie was lying on the bed, clutching a picture frame in her hands, holding it against her chest. “Annie?” She wasn’t sure if Annie would open up to her or not. Annie looked up at her, seemingly endless tears pouring from her blood shot eyes. Colleen slowly moved toward the bed and reached out her hand. Annie placed the frame her palm, and Colleen stared down at it. It was a picture of the Sully family, taken shortly after the birth of the twins. “I don’t remember my family,” she said quietly. “Not very well.” Colleen sat down next to Annie. “You don’t?” Colleen wondered with a sad, heavy heart. Annie shook her head. “They would be ashamed.” “What for?” “Look at me!” Annie exclaimed. “Look!” Colleen put a slow, sympathetic hand on Annie’s shoulder. “What happened to you wasn’t your fault, Annie. You didn’t ask for it.” “No. I let it happen,” she cried. “I couldn’t fight.” “It wasn’t your fault, but you gotta remember that you’re safe now.” “Your ma says the same thing. I don’t believe it.” “Why not?” Annie shrugged. “They always said it was my fault,” she replied. “They weren’t right, Annie! You’re not the only girl in the world this has happened too, and I’m sure you won’t be the last. You should trust my ma. She’s real smart and knows what she’s talkin’ about.” Annie swallowed hard. Colleen frowned a little. “Sometimes I think it’s been so long that I’ve seen my real ma that I can’t remember what she looked like.” “I though . . .” “She and Sully adopted me and my brothers,” Colleen explained. “My real pa died a few years ago, and my real pa isn’t a pa at all. See, when I think I’m forgettin’ what my real ma looks like, I close my eyes real tight and try to think about some kind of memory from when I was a little girl. I’ll think so hard that I’ll see the smile on my ma’s face. Then I won’t feel so bad anymore.” “That really works?” Annie wondered. “It does for me.” She placed the picture frame down on the nightstand. “Go on. Try it.” Annie glanced at Colleen apprehensively for a moment, before slowly standing and walking toward the window. She put her fingertips against the glass and closed her eyes tightly. Colleen watched her; the way her hand moved to gently rub her swollen belly to the way her fingers shook as they rested against the glass. In some ways, she was like a wild animal, protective of her child, but scared at the same time, not knowing when she would be caught in a trap. A trap. That was exactly what she’d been caught in during her stay with Caleb and George. A moment later, Annie turned from the window with a smile on her face. It was the first time Colleen had seen her smile. “I remember! It worked!” Her green eyes were shining brightly for the first time in a very long time. “My ma had long blonde hair like mine, but her eyes were as blue as the ocean. Well, she said they were. I ain’t never seen an ocean before.” She moved to sit on the floor, her head resting against the windowsill. “My pa had dark brown hair and a funny beard. When I was little, I’d tell him he felt like a grizzly bear.” Colleen smiled at Annie’s memories. “Ma always told me she wanted me to have a little brother. I did get a little brother, but he died ‘fore I could remember him. My pa said he looked just like him, but he had my eyes.” Annie smiled and looked at Colleen. “I have three little brothers and a big brother.” “You’re lucky,” Annie replied. She bit her bottom lip nervously. “Do you think my baby will grow up happy?” Colleen wasn’t sure what to say to someone who was about to become a parent at her age, but she couldn’t upset Annie when she was making so much progress. “I’m sure your baby will be happy.” A shadowy cast came over Annie’s face again. “I always wanted to have babies, but I never thought I’d have one so soon. Now I ain’t sure if I wanna be a ma, but I don’t want my baby goin’ off to live with strangers.” “What’s it like?” Colleen wondered. “What?” Annie asked. “What’s it like havin’ someone livin’ inside of you?” “I don’t know,” Annie whispered. “I can’t really explain it, but every mornin’ I wake up and it’s kickin’ me. I wish I could be happy, but I ain’t got nobody to share it with, and this baby wasn’t made the way it shoulda been. My ma and pa told me when I was a little girl that babies were made when a man and woman loved each other. That didn’t happen for me.” “Like I said earlier, it’s not your fault.” Annie sighed heavily and laid down on the bed, curling herself up into the fetal position. Colleen knew she didn’t want to talk any longer. “Are you hungry?” Annie didn’t respond, and a single tear trickled down her cheek. “Well, my ma and pa will be home soon and we’ll start dinner. I’ll bring something up for you.” Annie didn’t respond, so Colleen left without another word and shut the door behind herself. She heard movement coming from Connor and Daniel’s room, and when she got inside, she saw that Connor had climbed out of his bed and was trying to walk, but still stumbling a bit. Daniel was just pulling himself out of his bed. It was a good thing that the boys were becoming mobile, but unfortunately, that meant they were getting into everything. “C’mon. I’m not leaving you two here walkin’ around. I’ve gotta go milk the cow, so you’re gonna have to come with me so ya don’t get into any trouble.” She scooped the boys up into her arms and took them outside to the barn. She put them down in a soft pile of fresh hay where she could keep an eye on them, and they began to play, kicking their feet in it, creating a mess as usual. Colleen pulled the bucket under the relieved cow, and began to milk her. She gently patted the side of the cow for a moment, as if apologizing for neglecting her that day. Before too long, the pail was full, and the sounds of the wagon pulling up to the barn were heard. Michaela and Sully appeared in sight a few moments later. “Hi ma. Hi pa.” “Hey Colleen,” Sully replied. “Hello sweetheart. How were things today?” “Good,” Colleen replied. “I had to give myself and the boys a bath after lunch, but everything’s cleaned up.” She stood up and pulled the pail up. Sully reached out and took it from her so she wouldn’t have to carry it back to the house. Colleen replaced the pail in her arms with one of the boys as Michaela stooped down to scoop up the other. “And how’s Annie?” “She’s better,” Colleen replied. “Did she speak with you?” “Yeah,” Colleen replied with a quick nod. “She talked about her parents and her baby.” “That’s good. Least she’s startin’ to open up to ya.” “Perhaps I should check on her.” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. She got real quiet after that and wouldn’t talk more.” “Alright. I’ll check on her before dinner.” Colleen nodded and started toward the house. Michaela and Sully walked behind. Connor rested his head on his mother’s shoulder and yawned. Michaela smiled and gently rubbed his back. Sully put his free arm around his wife as they walked up to the house. *~* That evening, Michaela and Sully were lying in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. Colleen and Brian had gone to bed hours ago, and the twins were sleeping peacefully after two hours of fussing. Earlier, Michaela had taken some dinner up to Annie, who had graciously eaten it all up. Michaela was glad that she was keeping food in her stomach, because her unborn baby needed that nutrition as well. They had been careful to fix healthier foods in order to keep Annie strong. Now that everyone was sleeping, including Annie, Michaela and Sully had some time alone. One very positive part of the pregnancy was Michaela’s hormones. While they were sometimes stressful on the entire family, they definitely went to work in a good way in the bedroom. Michaela had been practically insatiable, but now that she was exhausted, she was on the verge of sleep in her husband’s arms. Her belly rested against his as she lay on her side in his arms. Sully could feel their child kicking lightly inside of Michaela. Michaela felt his hand caress her belly. “You can feel that?” she wondered with a yawn. “Yeah. Feel’s like you’re poppin’ corn in there or somethin’.” Michaela laughed at her husband’s comparison. She brushed her fingertips over his lips. “I love you so much,” she whispered. “You’ve been so wonderful to me.” “Hey, it’s the least I could do. You’re carryin’ a life we both made inside of ya. I gotta do somethin’ to make up for makin’ ya go through all this.” Michaela felt a pain in her back, and she turned to lie on her back. “What is it?” “It’s just a back cramp,” Michaela replied. Sully sat up. “Here, sit up.” Michaela sat up and dangled her legs over the bed. Sully sat behind her and began to rub her back softly. “Where?” “Lower,” she replied, closing her eyes as his hands moved lower onto her back. She tilted her head back, enjoying the feeling of relief she got as Sully massaged away the tension. “That better?” “Mmm,” she whispered. “Much.” She bit her bottom lip as Sully’s massaging motions turned into sensual caresses. His lips began to kiss her shoulders and her neck. One hand moved up to caress her breast. “Sully!” “What?” he asked, chuckling as his nose nuzzled her ear. His lips met her neck again, and Michaela leaned into him, craning her neck up so his lips could meet hers in a fiery kiss. She turned in his arms, and he lay back on the bed with his wife on top of him. Michaela moved to lay on her side, and Sully’s hand caressed her cheek, shoulder, and arm and moved down to massage her outer thigh. Her eyes stared into his, and just as they were leaning in for another kiss, a knock came to the door. “Ma?” It was Brian! Michaela and Sully sat up quickly. “Just a moment!” Michaela called, frantically throwing on her gown. She threw the blanket over Sully, because he was in no state to get up and walk across the room to throw his pants on. Once both of them were presentable, Michaela situated herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “Come in.” The doorknob turned, and Brian walked in. “Ma, I can’t sleep. Will you tell me a story?” Michaela smiled at her son. He was ten, and could usually go to sleep on his own, but with everything that had happened since Ethan escaped prison and came back to Colorado Springs, he’d had trouble sleeping for long periods of time every once in awhile. “Will you tell me a story?” Michaela suddenly felt the baby pressing on her bladder, and she needed to answer nature’s call before an accident occurred. “Uh,” she began, “I’ll be right back, sweetheart. Sully, will you tell him a story?” Sully looked at her for a moment, caught off guard, not sure of what story to tell. When he saw the look on her face, he knew what was wrong. “Sure.” Michaela kissed the top of her son’s head, and she hurried out of the room. When she returned, the boy was sleeping on the bed. Sully was still seated in the bed, covered by the blanket Michaela had tossed at him. “That was fast,” she commented. “Yeah. I told him somethin’ boring.” Michaela shook her head. “What?” “Nothing,” she replied. “You better go put your pants on so you can take our son back to his bed. You don’t want your pregnant wife carrying a ten-year-old boy now do you?” Sully looked at his wife and she winked at him. He leaned across the bed to kiss her, and Brian began to stir. “You better hurry before he wakes up again.” Sully slowly got out of bed and moved to pull his pants on. He scooped the boy into his arms and carried him down the hall to his own room. Sully was starting back toward the bedroom when he heard noise coming from Colleen’s room. As he opened the door, he found her slowly sneaking out of her window. “Colleen!” he exclaimed. “What are you doin’?” Colleen jumped at her father’s voice, and pulled herself back in. She sighed heavily. “I was goin’ out to see my friends.” “It’s almost midnight,” he replied. “And you’re sneaking out. I thought we got past this.” “I woulda told you, but I just got invited yesterday, and I knew you and ma would say no.” “So you decided to sneak out without tellin’ us?” “C’mon, pa! Matthew was the oldest and he got to do a lot more than I get to do. Was it ‘cause he was a boy?” “No. It was ‘cause he’s older than you. When you’re old enough, you’ll get to do more grown up things, but you’re fourteen years old.” Michaela had heard Sully lecturing Colleen, and she came across the hall in her robe to find out what was going on. “Sully?” She saw that Colleen was dressed and her nightclothes were lying on the bed. “Just caught Colleen sneakin’ out to be with her friends.” A disappointed frown came over Michaela’s face. “Oh Colleen,” she said quietly. Colleen saw the look of disappointment in her parents’ faces, a look she never wanted to see. She had always taken pride in being the good child, the one who always did as she was told and never got into trouble. “I expected better from you. I thought we talked about this.” “We did. But this is the first time, I promise!” “It’s not even the first, but it’s the last time its gonna almost happen,” Sully warned. Michaela looked at her husband. She knew he hated being the disciplinarian, but sometimes he had to speak up when things went too far. “They really wanted me to go,” Colleen replied. She sighed softly. Colleen had never really had many friends until a few months ago. Yes, she had Mary and Becky at school, but now more girls were starting to spend time with her, and the boys were taking notice of her. “If they want you to sneak out at night against your parents’ wishes, they ain’t bein’ too friendly,” Sully pointed out. “I understand ya wanna be friends with ‘em, but that don’t mean ya gotta do everything they want ya to do.” “But it’s hard to say no to ‘em,” Colleen explained, walking over to sit on her bed. Michaela sighed heavily and walked over to sit next to her daughter. “I know,” she replied softly. “But that’s part of growing up. You’re going to be faced with a lot of situations that you shouldn’t get yourself involved with, and you have to be the one to judge whether or not to go through with it. Your father and I aren’t going to be there every moment of the day. You have to know what’s wrong and right.” “This ain’t fair,” Colleen said, shaking her head. “Just ‘cause I’m a girl, ya think I’m gonna do somethin’ stupid.” “We ain’t sayin’ that,” Sully spoke up. “Sully, I need to speak with her in private.” Sully nodded and left the room, shutting the door as he walked into the hall. Michaela turned to her daughter. “You’ve spent time with Annie, so you know what’s happened to her.” “Yeah,” Colleen replied. “It’s terrible.” “Well, I don’t want the same thing to happen to you,” Michaela replied gently. “Ma, I’m not gonna let that happen.” “Believe it or not, nine times out of ten, a woman can fight as hard as she can.” “Why can’t women be stronger than men?” “Some of us are,” Michaela replied quietly. “It’s just that sometimes women are forced into things that they have no control or power over. What I’m saying, Colleen, is that what happened to Annie was done by a boy not much older than her. The boys you talk about from town are all growing up and experiencing feelings of their own.” “I know about the birds and the bees,” Colleen replied, rolling her eyes a little. “I know you do, but I don’t think you realize what some of these boys are capable of.” “They ain’t like that boy that did that to Annie,” Colleen replied, pointing at the wall to Matthew’s bedroom. “Some boys aren’t raised with knowledge of manners and morals,” Michaela replied. “Some of those boys think they aren’t doing the wrong thing. I can’t stop or forbid you from growing up, because it’s something that happens naturally, but I can protect you while you’re still young, because I am your mother. When school starts in a couple of weeks, I want you coming to the clinic right after school.” “But ma!” Colleen exclaimed. “You won’t even let me see my friends?” “You can see them at school and at church.” “This isn’t fair! You’re telling me that I can’t have any fun!” “Lower your voice Colleen. I don’t want you to wake the boys.” Michaela took a deep breath, a headache slowly coming over her. “I do want you to have fun, but after what you were trying to do tonight, I need to know that you’re being trustworthy.” “Ma, I didn’t mean to break your trust. I just wanted to have fun.” “Without telling either myself or your father. You knew we’d say no to going out this late, so you were sneaking out. I know you know you were wrong, but you still have to be punished.” Colleen only nodded. Michaela stood and started for the door. “You know we love you. We don’t want to see you get hurt.” “I know,” Colleen whispered, wiping a tear from her eyes. Michaela left the room, closed the door, and leaned against it. A tear trickled down her cheek. She had always promised herself that she’d never be stern and strict with her children, but she’d never really thought about them rebelling. Colleen was just trying to fit in with her friends, and Michaela could understand the feeling of wanting to fit in. She had made such an impact in her daughter’s life. When they first met, Colleen had wanted to be an actress, and now she wanted to be a doctor. Colleen had something different than Michaela had had. She had friends who wanted her around. Michaela always had her books and schoolwork. They were from two completely different places, and it wasn’t going to be easy to convince Colleen that the behavior she was trying to act out wasn’t going to help her for the better. If she worked hard, she could have everything she ever wanted. If she let herself get hurt, it could honestly be the end of some of her hopes and dreams. She swallowed hard and joined Sully in the bedroom. He was standing by the window, watching as storm clouds rolled in. He heard her walk into the room and looked over. “How’d it go?” Michaela shook her head. “She’s growin’ up. Ya gotta set ground rules.” “I told her she’s to come straight to the clinic after school once it starts up again in a few weeks.” “Nothin’ wrong with that.” “She’s so angry with me.” “That’ll pass. Everybody goes through it.” “You didn’t,” Michaela replied softly as Sully wrapped his arms around her. “No,” he answered quietly. He kissed her cheek softly. “But I didn’t have a pa and a good ma around when I was Colleen’s age. I didn’t have nobody but the Cheyenne.” Michaela rested her head upon Sully’s chest, and they stood in an embrace. “You don’t think I was too hard on her?” “’Course not. Don’t doubt yourself, Michaela. Ya did the right thing.” “I suppose so,” she frowned. “I just hate being so stern with her. I know what it’s like to be her age. Fourteen isn’t the most glorious time of one’s life.” Sully laughed and shook his head. “I know what you mean. I bet you were beautiful anyway.” Michaela rolled her eyes. “I don’t miss bein’ a teenager again. If I had the chance to do it over, I wouldn’t take it for all the money in the world.” Michaela laughed. “I bet you were a handsome young man.” Sully laughed. “Actually, I was this tall, skinny thing with hardly any muscle.” Michaela’s hand moved over his bare chest. “You’ve really developed,” she said with a grin. Sully scooped his wife up into his arms and kissed her. She laughed against his lips and without either of them saying another word, he carried her off to bed. |