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Chapter 5: Worries and Hopes By the middle of April, Michaela was showing, and she could barely tear Sully’s hand from her belly at night when they held each other in their sleep. She didn’t mind though, because she knew Sully was being protective of her and their child. Colleen, Matthew, and Brian liked to touch her belly too, and Michaela enjoyed how happy the children were to be getting a sibling. She did have a concern though. She had yet to feel the baby kick, and she was at the beginning of her second trimester. She knew that some women didn’t feel kicks until later in their pregnancy, but she was worried that something was wrong. She knew that Abagail had assured her everything would be fine, but she was a doctor, and she was afraid that perhaps something really was going wrong. She checked the baby’s heartbeat with her stethoscope every day, and everything seemed normal, but she was still very concerned. She didn’t tell Sully about her concerns, however, because she didn’t want him to worry that something had gone wrong. She was already doing enough worrying for the both of them. Sully was worried that Michaela was spending too much time on her feet, so every evening, he would make sure she would be comfortable in a chair in front of the fire. He was so sweet, and Michaela loved the way he doted on her and the light he had in his eyes every time he looked at her rounding belly. Michaela had several things on her mind including the baby. One of those things, though, was Myra’s relationship with Hank. Every day she would see them pining after one another. It was obvious that Hank loved her very much, but he was too stubborn to give up the moneymaker of his business. She wondered if there was anything that could ever make him change his mind. Poor Myra cried herself to sleep most nights, as far as Michaela could tell, because sometimes she would stay late at the clinic to finish cleaning up, and she would hear the sobs coming from the young woman’s room. Horace had woken up while Myra wasn’t sitting with him. Grace has been sitting with him, and he wanted to get out before he had to face Myra. He had gone back to work at the telegraph, but every time Myra would come by to post a letter or send a telegraph, he wouldn’t look her in the eye. He felt humiliated and he still seemed very depressed. On this day, Michaela was seated with Sully at Grace’s. The children were supposed to be joining them for lunch, but the three of them were over in the churchyard, watching some of the townsmen build the little schoolhouse. “They’ve really excited about that school,” Michaela said with a laugh as she took a sip of Grace’s wonderful apple cider. “I’ve never seen children so excited to learn before!” Sully made a face and Michael a looked at him curiously. “What was that look for?” “I’m sure you were just as excited about them. You’re always wantin’ to learn new things.” “Yes, I suppose I’m that way now, but my older sisters would have to pry my hands off of the stair rails to get me out the front door in the mornings. I hated school.” “Why?” Sully asked, wanting to know more about his wife’s childhood. Michaela shrugged and looked down as her fingers began to trace patterns on her belly. “No reason,” she replied. “Come on,” he urged, tilting her chin up so she would look him in the eyes. He took her hands in his. “You can tell me anything.” Michaela swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I suppose I didn’t like going to school because I didn’t have any friends.” “What?” Sully couldn’t believe that his beauty of a wife didn’t have friends as a child. He saw the tears springs to her eyes, and he knew that part of it was because of the hormones, but the other part was due to her memories of her childhood. He felt bad for bringing it up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” “No. No. It’s alright. See, I had a wonderful childhood. Anything I ever wanted or needed, I would get, but what I wanted the most was a friend. I never had friends because I was too concerned with my studies, and when people started making fun of me for knowing all of the answers, I would stop wanting to go to school. I would fake being sick, which wasn’t smart considering my father was a doctor, and I would do everything I felt that I could in order to get out of going. But my father would sit me down and tell me that people treated him the same in elementary as I was being treated. Then he told me that now, everyone respected him, and that someday I would be respected too. I suppose that’s around the time I started thinking about becoming a doctor. I really didn’t make a true decision until I was seventeen or eighteen, but I knew I wanted to be respected like my father was.” “It must’ve been hard tryin’ to walk in your pa’s shadow.” “It was,” Michaela remembered with a nod. She laughed at a memory. “Once my father told me I didn’t have to walk in my shoes, so I tried to put his shoes on and walk around in them. That was before I knew the difference between figurative and literal.” Sully chuckled and rubbed Michaela’s hands between his. “I’m sure that our baby will be just like her ma.” “So now it’s a girl again?” “Well, I’m sure we’ll have a daughter someday, and I bet she’ll wanna be just like you.” Michaela smiled and brushed Sully’s cheek with her lily-white fingers. “Michaela, you won’t mind if our baby gets to know the Cheyenne will you?” “Why would I mind? Cloud Dancing is family to you, so he’s family to me. I would be honored if our baby had the Cheyenne as a second family.” Sully’s face lit up proudly and he leaned across the table to kiss his wife. “It’s so good to hear you say that.” “How could you think I wouldn’t want our baby to know your other family?” “I don’t know. I know ma’s are real protective of their babies.” “Well, our baby won’t be in any harm with them. I know the Cheyenne are our friends. There’s no reason they can’t be friends to our baby either.” Sully kissed Michaela’s hand and they both stood. “Come on.” “Where are we going?” “Let’s go for a walk. It’s a nice day, and I wanna be alone with ya.” “Should we tell the children?” “They’re busy watchin’ the school bein’ built. We won’t be gone long.” Sully gave Michaela’s hand a reassuring squeeze, and they walked off hand-in-hand toward the meadow. *~* “What are ya gonna get for ma and pa’s baby?” Brian asked as he and his older brother and sister walked toward the mercantile. “It’s kinda early to be thinkin’ ‘bout that, Brian,” Matthew said with a chuckle. “Yeah, but we don’t have no money.” “We’ll work somethin’ out,” Colleen replied. “Right, Matthew?” “Right.” He cleared his throat and looked down at his little brother. “I’ve got a few odd jobs lined up that’ll pay a few dollars each. If I save that, and Colleen saves her butter and egg money, we should have enough to pay for gifts for the baby.” “But what about me? I ain’t old enough to have a job, and I wanna give the baby somethin’ special.” “Well, you can share our gifts,” Colleen offered. “No! I want it to be somethin’ just from me!” Brian insisted. Matthew and Colleen shared exasperated glances as they continued their walk toward the mercantile. “What kinda gift do you wanna buy for the bay?” Colleen asked curiously while fidgeting with a loose string on the arm sleeve of her dress. “I don’t know,” Brian replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “It just has to be special.” “Since ya don’t want us sharin’ our gifts with ya, maybe you could make the baby somethin’,” Matthew suggested. “Hey, that’s a good idea!” Colleen exclaimed. “I was plannin’ on buyin’ some fabric to make a quilt for the baby. Maybe you can do that too.” “I ain’t sewin’ nothin’! That’s girl stuff!” Colleen crossed her arms and glared at her little brother. “Well if your hair was any longer, you’d look like a little girl.” “Hey!” Brian yelled. “Knock it off!” Matthew warned, knowing that he had to step in as the big brother and calm his siblings down before they got too out of control. “Dr. Mike won’t like the two of you fightin’.” “She started it!” Brian complained. “Come on,” Matthew ordered. “Let’s go get what Dr. Mike needs at the mercantile.” Colleen and Brian followed behind him without speaking to one another. When they got inside, Matthew picked up a jar of fresh canned peaches, while Colleen found a jar of molasses. When they put the supplies up on the counter, Loren stared at the two items they had purchased. “Your ma’s havin’ those strange cravings again, huh?” “Again? When did she stop?” Colleen nudged her older brother in the ribs for that comment. Loren just laughed while Colleen collected the items into her basket. “Will you put this on our account?” “Sure thing.” The children left the mercantile and started off toward the churchyard again to watch the construction of the new school. *~* Sully and Michaela made their way through a clearing in the woods. They came upon Sully’s old lean-to. Everything Sully had stored there had been taken to the new homestead when they moved in, but the lean-to was still there. “It’s still standing,” Michaela pointed out. “Yup. I made sure it would last through the strong weather. Plus the trees shield if from a lot of the wind.” Sully sat down under the lean to and Michaela sat down between his legs. She leaned against his body as his arms closed around her, and his hands rested on her protruding belly. “I can’t wait to bring this little one out here,” Michaela whispered as she leaned her head back on Sully’s shoulder and craned her neck to look up into his eyes. Sully answered her with a tender kiss upon her lips. Michaela sighed as his hands began to caress her belly. She bit her bottom lip and pulled her medical bag to her side. She put the stethoscope into her ears and listened to the sound of her baby’s heart. She smiled when she heard it beating normally. “Do you want to hear our baby’s heartbeat?” “You can actually hear it with those things?” “Yes. It sounds a little bubbly because the baby’s surrounded by amniotic fluid. It an amazing sound, Sully.” Michaela crawled out of Sully’s lap and got on her knees beside him. She put the earpieces in her husband’s ears and pressed the other piece to her belly. “I don’t hear anything,” he said with concern. Michaela moved the piece around a bit and the look of concern on Sully’s face changed to pure pride and joy. “That’s our baby?” he asked. “That’s our baby!” Michaela giggled. “So if we can hear the baby out here, I wonder if it can hear us?” “That’s not a proven fact, but I believe it’s possible.” Sully took the earpieces of out of his ears and put them on either side of Michaela’s belly. Michaela held them in place and tears came to her eyes when Sully spoke into the other end of the stethoscope. “This is your pa,” he said with a big goofy grin on his face. Michaela couldn’t help but laugh. She loved her husband so very much, and she knew he was going to be amazing with their baby. “Can ya hear me?” He put his hand on Michaela’s belly, hoping to feel the baby kick. Michaela’s face fell again. The baby’s heart was beating, yes, but what if something was wrong? She would have no way of knowing until the birth, and she was stricken with fear. Sully continued, “You must be sleeping, huh? You rest now. Your ma and I will see you this fall.” Sully gave Michaela her stethoscope, and she quickly put it back in her medical bag. He noticed the fear in her eyes. “Michaela? What is it?” “It’s nothing,” she lied, not wanting to upset him, but the tear that trickled down her cheek told him that something was wrong. “What are you frettin’ about?” She took a deep breath, trying to relax her fears. She needed comfort in knowing that someone else knew what she was worried about. She knew it wasn’t good for either her or the baby to keep the worry bottled up inside. “Sully, I . . .” She was finding that the words were having trouble coming out. “I don’t want to frighten you.” Sully took Michaela’s hand in his and squeezed it gently. “Just tell me.” “I haven’t . . . I haven’t felt a kick yet.” “Is that what you’re worried about?” Sully asked, his heart starting to beat normally again after having recently been caught in his throat. “Yes. I know the baby has a strong heartbeat, but I don’t know anything else about him or her. Some women are later in their second trimesters before they feel a kick, but I’ve known women to feel movement in the fourth month or before.” “Michaela, our baby’s fine, alright? There’s nothin’ to worry about.” “Sully, I can’t help but worry.” “Just you wait. The first time you feel our baby kick, you’ll know that it’s all gonna be alright.” Michaela smiled and kissed Sully lovingly. “I hope he or she starts to kick soon.” “I’m sure it will.” Sully kissed her hand and Michaela settled back into his lap where his hands moved around to rest on her belly again. “Sully?” “Hmm?” “Tell me about your childhood? I’ve never asked you about it before.” Sully kissed the top of Michaela’s head. “Alright. You deserve to know since you’ve told me about your childhood.” He took a deep breath. “I was born on a ship somewhere out in the middle of the ocean. My ma and pa were so proud because I was their first and only child. When we got to America, my pa started a farm, and my ma spent her days lookin’ after me. My pa got killed when he was chasin’ a horse thief off our land. My ma took it hard and she sent me to live with my aunt where I could be better looked after. Next thing I knew, ma fell sick and died before I could even say goodbye.” Michaela heard Sully’s voice crack a little. She rubbed his arm softly, letting him know she understood. “About eighteen years ago, when I was ten, I ran away from my aunt’s house. She got married and her husband was a drunk. He tried to beat on me, so I ran away. I ran away all the way to Colorado and the Cheyenne saved my life. I didn’t grow up with ‘em or anything, but I spent my years out in the woods, teachin’ myself things I never got to learn in school.” “Oh Sully, that’s terrible,” Michaela whispered. “I’m sorry your childhood didn’t turn out different.” “I’m not. If my aunt hadn’t have gotten married, or if my ma never sent me to live with her, I probably never woulda met you. I’m thankful that you came into my life.” “I’m even more thankful,” Michaela whispered, “because technically, you came into my life. You were in Boston.” “You were the only person who didn’t turn their back on me and Cloud Dancin’.” “I’m glad my father raised me the way he did. I’m not saying that I’m glad Cloud Dancing was injured, but I’m so glad you cared enough for your friend to bring him into a hospital knowing the risks you were taking.” Sully kissed Michaela’s cheek. “I think that somehow I knew in my heart that somebody would have a big enough heart to take him in. I’m glad that somebody was you.” *~* “Come here my sweet,” Michaela said with a big grin as she picked a tiny baby up out of a cradle that Sully made. The baby grinned at her with a gummy smile. The door to the bedroom opened and Sully walked in with a baby’s blanket in his hand. “Look, Katie. Pa’s back.” “Hello Kates,” Sully whispered, pulling his baby daughter into his arms. “Did you have a good nap?” Katie giggled and Michaela sat down on the edge of the bed. She watched Sully with the little one, and she saw how his face lit up. The baby began to fuss a little. “I think she’s hungry.” He placed the baby in Michaela’s lap and sat down behind her on the bed. Michaela unbuttoned a few buttons on her gown and let the baby begin to nurse. She closed her eyes when Sully began to rub her neck. “You feelin’ alright?” “Mmm, I feel wonderful,” Michaela whispered. Sully brought a hand down Michaela’s arm and gently caressed Katie’s soft blonde hair. Michaela smiled as Katie cooed at her mother’s breast. Sully kissed Michaela’s neck and got off of the bed to go add a couple of logs to the fire. Michaela continued to feed Katie, and when the child was done eating, She buttoned her gown up and put the baby on the bed. Suddenly, she felt an odd sensation in her stomach. “Sully?” “Sully! Sully! Wake up!” Michaela exclaimed, sitting up in bed. She shook her sleeping husband’s arm vigorously. He quickly sat up, thinking something had gone wrong, and he peered at Michaela whose face was glowing in the firelight. “What is it? What’s wrong?” “The baby’s kicking! It’s kicking!” she exclaimed. “Give me your hand!” She took Sully’s hand and put it on her stomach where the light flutter was still occurring. A look of hope flushed over Sully’s face as he felt his child kicking for the first time. The feeling he was experience was indescribable, but when he looked into Michaela’s eyes, so many questions came to his mind. “That’s our baby kicking?” he asked. “You’re sure it ain’t indigestion or somethin’?” “I’m sure,” Michaela laughed. “I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s so incredible, Sully. You were right. I know everything is going to be alright now that I can actually feel our little one inside of me.” Sully brought Michaela’s hand to his lips and he kissed it gently. He kept his free hand on Michaela’s belly, relishing the feeling of his child’s tiny feet kicking Michaela gently on the inside. A knock came to the door, and Michaela and Sully looked at one another. “Is everything alright?” Matthew asked. “We heard Dr. Mike screamin’!” Michaela and Sully looked at each other with knowing grins. Sully pulled his pants on and Michaela quickly pulled her gown on. “Children, come in!” Michaela called. The door opened and three curious face appeared in the doorway. Michaela motioned for them to come over to the bed. “What’s goin’ on?” Colleen asked, rubbing her eyes. “The baby’s kickin’,” Sully said like a proud papa. “Really?!” Colleen exclaimed. She hurried to put her hand on Michaela’s belly. “Oh my gosh!” The Cooper children took turns feeling the bubbling sensation occurring inside of Michaela. “That must feel funny to you, huh ma?” Brian asked. “It feels wonderful,” Michaela answered, looking lovingly at Sully. A few minutes later, the children were going back to their rooms. The baby had stopped kicking, but Michaela and Sully couldn’t go to sleep. They continued to sit up in bed, waiting for another kick from their baby. “It’s still so hard to believe,” Sully admitted. “I can’t believe that I’ve got you and our family. We’re having a baby. It all seems too good to be true.” “I know what you mean, Sully. But it is true, but if this was some kind of a dream, I’d never want to wake up.” |