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Chapter 8: Leaving As the days wore on, there had been no sign of Bret Jacobs. The townsmen spent a good part of their nights looking for him, and Kid Cole swore to find him and turn him into the marshal. The marshal was due to arrive by the stagecoach within the next twelve hours. It was eight in the evening, and children were no longer allowed to play outside after supper or do their outside chores. Lanterns and oil lamps were left burning in the windows so those unfortunate enough to have to spend the evenings outside would have some light to guide them from the clutches of an outlaw. The men had evidence that he was still lurking out in the woods, but they hadn’t been able to catch him yet. It was as if he was always two steps ahead of them, and they were unable to quicken their pace to catch him. The Jacobs brothers’ family had come to retrieve the body of Tom Jacobs, and they didn’t have a bitter word to say to anyone about it. They knew the boys had done wrong and deserved whatever punishment they received, and Michaela couldn’t help but notice that the parents weren’t very nurturing to their other children. Tom and Bret probably turned out the way they were partly because of how they were brought up. Sully still had nightmares at night, and Michaela had confronted him about it. Sully would tell her it wasn’t a big deal, but Michaela knew better. She knew that he was still reeling with grief over killing that man. She kept trying to assure him that he did the right thing. His shoulder was on a slow process to recovery, but he was feeling up to going out to the reservation now. Michaela would watch the boys and work at the clinic while the children were at school, but she found it harder and harder to concentrate. In her heart, she needed him more than ever. She needed him to be there with her, to let her know that everything was going to be alright. Under normal circumstances, she could hold her own pretty well, but things changed when she was pregnant. She was far more emotional, her worries seemed to increase to a higher degree, and she seemed to feel as if she was the only woman in the world going through those problems. The clinic door burst open, startling Michaela from her thoughts. Brian ran in with Colleen right behind him. “Hi ma!” Brian said cheerfully. “Mrs. Baker had a bad headache, so she let us leave early.” “Well, I should go see if she’s alright.” “I already checked on her,” Colleen replied. “It wasn’t a serious headache, her pupils weren’t dilated, and she didn’t have an upset stomach. I told her I’d bring her something to get rid of it.” “Very well done, Colleen,” Michaela beamed. Colleen smiled proudly. She went to collect what she needed for Mrs. Baker, and Michaela stood to stretch her legs for a few moments. She had been sitting down for the past few hours, looking over her research. “Where’s Matthew?” Michaela wondered as she looked out the window. “He went to see Ingrid,” Colleen replied. “Ya mean kiss her,” Brian replied, making a disgusted face. Michaela laughed. “So what?” Colleen asked. “They’re getting married soon anyway.” “It’s gonna be strange not havin’ Matthew around,” Brian admitted. “But he’ll be home for the holidays and stuff,” Colleen pointed out. Brian looked at Michaela. “He won’t be here when the baby’s born.” Michaela put her hand on her stomach. “No, I suppose he won’t be,” she replied, trying not to cry. She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m going to go for a walk.” “Ma, you know Bret Jacobs is still out there. You could get hurt,” Colleen warned. “I’m just going to Grace’s for some pie. I’ll back in a few minutes, and then we’ll go visit Jenny together.” “Alright,” Colleen replied. Michaela left the clinic, and as she was walking to Grace’s, she ran into Kid Cole. “Afternoon, Dr. Quinn,” he said, tipping his black hat. “Good afternoon, Mr. Cole. Where are you headed on a day like this?” “I was just goin’ to fetch my horse. The boys are ridin’ out after Bret Jacobs.” “Has he been spotted?” “Jenny Baker saw him as she was leavin’ the schoolhouse to pick up lunch at the café.” Michaela gave him a nod and rushed off toward the café. She saw Dorothy, Myra, and Olive sitting at a table with Jenny. Grace was just sitting down as well. “Oh! Michaela!” Dorothy exclaimed when she saw her friend. “Jenny? Mr. Cole just told me that you spotted Bret Jacobs.” “I did,” she replied. “I was leavin’ the schoolhouse and he was standin’ ‘bout four yards back from the church. He ran off as soon as he saw that I’d spotted him.” “You don’t think he’s lookin’ for Sully do ya?” Myra wondered. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Michaela admitted. “Sully’s safe though, but I need to warn him.” She broke away from the group and rushed across town to the clinic. When she burst through the door, she startled both Colleen and Brian. “Ma?” Colleen asked. “What’s wrong?” “Bret Jacobs has been spotted. I need to ride out to the reservation and warn your father.” “Ma? Do you think that’s safe?” “He was spotted in the opposite direction I’m heading. I’m taking the wagon. Colleen, please stay here with your brothers. When Matthew come back, have him take you home.” “Ma, you shouldn’t go alone.” “I’ll be fine,” Michaela replied. She kissed Colleen and Brian and hurried out to get into the wagon. The wagon made quite a clatter as the horses rushed it out of town. Michaela was feeling nervous and nauseated at the same time. *~* Sully and Cloud Dancing walked along the creek near the reservation. Sully had been unusually quiet, and Cloud Dancing knew of the shooting that had occurred a few days earlier. He didn’t know how to make his brother feel better about what happened, but he did know of a way for Sully to heal his body and his soul, but he didn’t think Sully had hit the point where he needed that quite yet. He knew Sully had to have time to think about what had happened and try to move on. “How is your shoulder?” “It’s fine,” Sully replied. “Michaela fixed it up real nice.” “You call her Michaela now.” “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?” “Once you called her Dr. Mike.” “Yeah,” Sully replied with a slight smile. “Once she asked me why I called her Dr. Mike when we weren’t kissin’ or huggin’, but Michaela when we were. Somehow, I just started callin’ her Michaela all the time, and it stuck.” “You have a light in your eyes when you speak of her.” “She is the light of my life,” he replied. “I know it’s somethin’ ya hear from lots of people, but it’s true for us. She brings light into my life that I never thought I’d have after Abagail, and then some. I’m happier than I’ve ever been at any point in my life.” “But you aren’t.” “What?” “You’re letting the past haunt you.” “What? Abagail?” “No,” Cloud Dancing replied. “I’m speaking of when you killed that man.” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Sully seemed to begin to close up his heart at that point. Cloud Dancing couldn’t let that happen. “You were acting in self defense. Your family needed you, and you were protecting them.” “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Sully stated flatly. “You do not want to face your emotions.” Sully turned to look at Cloud Dancing. “I’m fine,” he answered. Cloud Dancing nodded slightly. “You have never lied to me before, but that has changed now.” He looked up at the sky. “We must go back to the reservation.” Cloud Dancing turned his back, and Sully watched him walk away for a few moments, realizing that his Cheyenne brother was right. He had been trying so hard to stay strong for Michaela, but now he was being haunted by Tom Jacobs death every waking and sleeping moment. He needed to heal, and he knew that the Cheyenne performed healing rituals in sweat huts. But it wasn’t time for that yet. Sully needed to face this ordeal head on. He needed to have closure. Sully followed Cloud Dancing, and they walked in utter silence. Cloud Dancing was not angry with Sully, only disappointed that his brother felt he could not confide in him. He knew Sully needed time and that he’d come around eventually. Once they arrived at the reservation, Sully mounted his horse and started off toward town. On his way, he heard the rumbling of a wagon nearing the reservation, so he decided he had better make sure it wasn’t someone making trouble. But, as soon as he saw his wife, he brought his horse into a gallop and rushed over to meet her. Michaela brought the wagon to a stop as Sully came up beside her. “Michaela? What’s goin’ on?” “Sully, are you alright?” “’Course I’m alright,” he replied. “What is it?” “Jenny Baker spotted Bret Jacobs out near the church. I thought I’d come out here and let you know.” “Thanks,” he replied. “I’ll ride with you back to town.” He hitched his horse to the wagon, and as soon as that was accomplished, he climbed in beside his wife, and they started back toward town. “Sully, we need to talk,” Michaela suggested after several long, quiet minutes. Sully stopped the wagon and turned to Michaela. He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles softly. Once he let go of her hands, he took a deep breath. “I ain’t ready to talk about it yet, Michaela.” “But, Sully . . .” “Just give me some space. I need time to think.” “Sully, if you just . . .” “Please! Just give me a little time. I’ll talk about it when I’m ready to. I just don’t want to think about it right now.” “Sully, I’m so tired of you shutting me out! I wake up to your nightmares!” she exclaimed. “I need to know how to help you!” “Ya can’t help everyone, Michaela!” Sully exclaimed. “I need time of my own to figure out what to do about this.” “What do you mean? Sully, what happened can’t be fixed, and it was an accident. You didn’t kill him because you wanted to. You did it because, first of all, it was an accident, and second of all, if you hadn’t killed him, he’d have killed all of us.” Tears glistened in Sully’s eyes, and he tried his hardest to fight them off. “I don’t want to do this.” “I know you don’t, but the sooner you talk about it, the easier it’s going to be to let go.” “I’ll never let go of this, Michaela,” he replied. “I’m never goin’ to forget the feelin’ of the barrel of that gun pressed into my stomach. I’m never goin’ to forget takin’ control of that gun and pullin’ the trigger. The memory of seein’ his face grow lifeless and feelin’ his body go limp under mine is always gonna be there. I can’t turn back time.” Michaela’s hand moved to caress his face. “I know it’s not,” she whispered. “But I want to help you through it. I need to know how.” “I don’t even know how to help myself,” he admitted. A sudden look of wonder came over his face, confusing Michaela. “I might know where to start.” “What do you mean?” “I need to face Bret Jacobs.” “Sully! No!” “I need to do this, Michaela. I can’t endanger you, the children, or any of the folks in town. I need him to know where I am without havin’ you in the path of danger.” “What are you saying?” Michaela asked softly, her eyes brimming with tears, and her heart beginning to feel heavy within’ her chest. Sully brought the horses into a slow canter again. “Sully, answer me.” Sully exhaled sharply, not wanting to say what he was about to say. “I’m sayin’ that I think it’s best if I stay away from everyone for awhile.” “What?!” Michaela asked. “How can you think about leaving us?” “I’m not leavin’,” he replied. “I’m doin’ this to keep you safe.” “You’ve already made up your mind without talking to me about it first?” she asked, feeling as if Sully was shutting her out even more, even though he had opened up a bit just now. “It won’t be for long,” he replied. “I need to face Bret Jacobs. I need to explain to him why I took his brother’s life.” “He’ll kill you, Sully!” “That’s a chance I gotta take.” Michaela couldn’t believe her ears. “You’re willing to die in order to tell this man why his brother’s dead? What about your family? What about us?” Michaela asked, not sure whether to feel anger or to feel sorry for her husband. A tear slipped down her cheek, and when she looked at her husband again, she noticed that a tear had fallen from his eyes as well. She knew he was heart broken over having to leave his family for their own protection, but he was also being ripped to pieces on the inside over having taken a man’s life. “Michaela, I’d rather die than leave you and the kids.” “You may die anyway!” Michaela exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to say what I said,” he whispered. “But I do need to talk to him. I need to face him, because if I don’t, I may never get closure.” He swallowed hard. “Cloud Dancin’ once told me that you gotta heal the whole person, not just the heart. There’s a ritual performed in a sweat lodge, a healing ritual. Michaela, if I do this, I think I can cope with what happened.” Michaela wanted to help, but she was beginning to realize that Sully needed this for himself. “I think I understand,” she replied quietly. The rest of the trip home was silent, and both Michaela and Sully were upset over this entire ordeal. When they arrived at the homestead, it was obvious that the children had come home. Michaela watched as Sully unhitched the wagon, and she followed him when he took the horses into the barn. When Sully turned around after stabling the horses, Michaela walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. Sully wrapped his arms around Michaela as well, and sighed softly as Michaela rested her head on his chest. He stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. “You know I ain’t doin’ this ‘cause I want to. I have to do it. It hurts to even think about leavin’ you and the kids for a little while. I promise I won’t be gone long.” “When do you have to leave?” Michaela asked, looking up at him with big, tear-filled eyes. Sully’s hands moved to caress her cheeks, and he bent down kiss her softly. “I think it’s best that I leave this evenin’.” Michaela nodded slowly. “I already talked to the fellas in town today, and they promised to keep a watch over the homestead while I’m gone. “What if he comes after us just to get back at you?” “He won’t,” he replied. “From what I heard, the Jacobs brothers ain’t that smart or resourceful. But just in case, that’s why I asked the fellas to keep a watch out. Maybe you should stay in town.” He began to wonder if this wasn’t such a good idea. “Sully, I know you have to go. We’ll be alright,” she whispered. “How am I gonna tell the kids?” “It’s not like you’re going away forever,” Michaela replied, fighting off the tears again, trying to keep strong for her husband. “That ain’t the point. Their real pa left ‘em, and I don’t wanna do the same.” “They know you’d never do that to them, Sully. You are nothing like Ethan, and you never will be.” She took his hand in hers, and Sully stared down at the rings he’d given her as a promise of their eternal love. He glanced at the locket she never took off. He tenderly picked the locket up with his free hand. “What this says inside of this locket is true,” he whispered. “I want ya to know that my heart is with you, no matter where I am.” “And mine is with you,” she replied. Sully leaned down and kissed her, and when he pulled away, he brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. They left the barn, walking hand-in-hand, to tell their children what was going to happen, and hope that the end result of this entire ordeal would be positive. *~* “You’ll be back real soon?” Brian asked. “Yeah,” Sully replied, kneeling next to his son. “You promise?” “I promise,” he replied gently. Brian hugged his father, and when they pulled apart, the boy stood there hoping that his father would be back sooner rather than later. Sully hugged Matthew and Colleen. “You two help your ma, alright?” he asked. “We will, pa,” Colleen promised. Sully took Connor and Daniel into his arms. “I’m gonna miss you boys,” he whispered, kissing their cheeks. “You be good for your ma, and behave your sister and brothers.” The boys didn’t understand what was happening, but they knew it wasn’t happy at all. They started to whimper, and Colleen took them into her arms. Sully turned to Michaela, who was fighting off the urge to cry. They walked over to Sully’s horse for a little private conversation. “I love you.” “I love you,” Michaela reciprocated. “I’m gonna miss you.” “So will I.” “Just remember that I’ll be home in a few days, and when I come home, we’ll make up for lost time.” Michaela smiled a bit, knowing what Sully was referring to. She stood on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him, concentrating all of her emotions into a kiss that would leave Sully longing for their reunion. When they pulled away, Sully rested his forehead against Michaela’s. “I’ll be back before ya know it,” Sully promised. Michaela nodded and handed him something in a pouch. “What’s this?” “It’s for your shoulder in case it starts to hurt.” Sully smiled a little, loving the way Michaela thought ahead. He gave her another quick kiss before mounting his horse. Michaela walked over to stand beside the children, and Sully studied them all for a few moments. Wolf barked and went to join his master. Pup seemed to be a bit left out, but Brian bent to scratch the top of his wolf’s head. “Goodbye,” Michaela said softly. “I love you guys,” he said softly. “Bye pa. We love you. Be careful,” were some of the answers given by the children. Daniel and Connor flailed their arms about, not sure of what to make of the situation. Sully rode off, knowing that he was leaving his heart with his wife; his family. *~* Anthony sat down on the bench outside of the telegraph office. He was watching several of the railroad workers constructing the depot. Mary had told him that her father would be running the telegraph and the post from there, and that once he sold the old telegraph office, they were going to move into a house across town, closer to the depot. Mary was inside doing chores, so Anthony was left without anyone to play with. A lot of the children at school didn’t like him because of the color of his skin, but some of them, including the Sully children, Matthew, and Becky Houser were all very accepting toward him. Anthony was trying to decide what to write about for his assignment for the end of school. He had several experiences he could write about, but none of them were at all fun. He could write about his parents dying, but he had been so young, and the memory was very frightening and painful for him. The only thing that could really pop into his mind was the fact that Robert E. and Grace were discussing adoption. Both of them wanted Anthony to be their son, but they were a bit nervous when it came to actually adopting. They would have several discussions without Anthony, but sometimes he’d be let in on the conversations so they could know how he felt. They wanted so very much to adopt him, but they weren’t sure if the government would let them do such a thing. When Anthony said his prayers every night before bed, he would pray to God to let Robert E. and Grace adopt him. They were the nicest folks he’d ever stayed with, and he finally had friends he could see and play with every day. He was allowed to go to school, and he felt like most people accepted him. He’d never had those things before, and he was even happier because he had been reunited with Mary. “Anthony?” came a voice from nearby. Anthony looked up at the sound of Robert E.’s voice. “What are ya doin’ sittin’ alone out here?” “Just waitin’ for Mary to finish her chores.” “Oh,” Robert E. replied with a smile, sitting down beside her. “You’re sweet on her, huh?” “No!” Anthony replied. Robert E. chuckled. “Oh, I see,” he replied. “How long have ya known her?” “A couple years. We were best friends. Still are.” “I’m glad the both of ya have each other.” Anthony smiled. “Me too.” Robert E. smiled. Mary came rushing out of the telegraph office. “I’m done! Pa said I could go to the café for pie with ya!” she said, out of breath from hurrying. “You two have fun,” Robert E. said with a smile. Anthony and Mary rushed off toward Grace’s Café, and Robert E. sat staring after them with a shine in his eyes. Anthony was the son he’d never had. The children he’d had before he was a free man were girls, and he loved them dearly. He’d always wanted a son, but when Grace lost their baby, and they found out it had been a girl, Robert E. had begun to long for a daughter. His memories of having daughters before would haunt him, but when Anthony came into his life, some kind of a void had been filled. Yes, he still wanted all of his daughters back. He’d give anything to bring back the baby he and Grace had lost. But now he had this boy, someone he could spend time with to help take away some of the pain. Nothing would ever take away the pain of losing his daughters, but having Anthony around helped him concentrate on the present and the future instead of the past. He was sure that he wanted to adopt Anthony, and so was Grace, but they were both afraid of getting a rejection letter in the mail one day. Robert E. didn’t think he could bear being denied a child when he’d already lost so much. *~* Sully sat underneath the lean to in the woods. He’d been out there for an hour now, and he was already missing his family dearly. Who was he kidding? He was missing them before he even got out of sight of them. They were his whole world now. He could barely remember the time when his world consisted of this lean-to, his wolf, and the Cheyenne. Wolf and the Cheyenne were still a part of his life, but now he had a wife and five amazing children. He wouldn’t take back a single day he’d spent with them, because even the worst things that could happen brought them all closer together when it was all said and done. Sully had sensed someone following him when he entered the woods, but he couldn’t sense anyone watching him now, though he was sure that Bret knew where he was. His heart was pounding a mile a minute, but he was trying to relax and let himself know that this was all going to be over soon enough. He was going to let Bret confront him. Sully had let Kid Cole know that he was going to let Bret confront him. The ex-outlaw had promised to be in a specific place to meet Sully, when Sully would present him with his fugitive. Sully had to send this man to jail, even though he’d been responsible for the outlaw’s brother’s death. Bret would be carted off to jail for whatever crimes he’d committed, and Sully would have the chance to explain himself about Tom’s death. Once that was over with, he was going ask Cloud Dancing to help him with a healing ritual. He knew the feeling of guilt would never go away, but he knew that he would be able to find a way to cope with it once the healing ritual began. He went through it once before when Abagail died, and during that period of time, he came to terms with the fact that he was alone and might very well be that way for the rest of his life. He had never counted on meeting Michaela, and now that she was there in his life, he knew that he could get through any ordeal. Losing Abagail had been hard enough, and this pain wasn’t like that of what he felt when he lost her and Hannah. If he could get through the pain of losing a wife and a daughter, he could deal with this, especially since he knew he had a wife and five kids to come home to. The one thing he did know was that he was a very lucky man. Wolf let out a growl and stood up, bearing his teeth as he stared out into the woods. “Shh, boy,” Sully whispered. He stood slowly facing the opposite direction that his trusty wolf was, quickly taking note that his tomahawk was secured safely on his hip. “You turn around nice and slow,” came the deep growl of the outlaw. Sully swallowed hard, closing his eyes and reliving the death of Tom Jacobs in his mind. He slowly turned to face the man who’d tried to harm him and his family. “I know why you’re here,” Sully said quietly. “Oh, and why’s that?” “You want to kill me.” “You’re good,” Bret replied with a dry laugh. “You’re hurt and angry, and you just want revenge. I know the feelin’. I know what it’s like to lose someone.” “You killed my brother, and you’re payin’ for his life with your own.” He cocked the gun and put his finger of the trigger. “You don’t wanna do this,” Sully warned. “You kill me and you’ll be goin’ away for life.” “Not if I get away first,” Bret replied. “Think about this, Bret,” Sully said, slowly shaking his head. “Your brother shot me, was intendin’ to kill me, and he woulda hurt my family. You woulda done the same.” “I told him not to fire that gun!” Bret screamed. The clatter made all of the birds in the trees flock off as if they’d all heard a gunshot already. “I pulled the trigger, I know, but he was about to kill me. I turned the gun around. My finger tapped the trigger and that was the end of it. I ain’t proud of what happened, but I can’t change it now.” “I wasn’t gonna let him hurt your family. I just wanted to get the wagon and horses. We woulda let ya go.” “I didn’t know that, and your brother had other intentions.” “That don’t matter! You killed him, and now you gotta pay!” “Ya don’t wanna add my murder to the list of charges they got on ya. I can promise ya right now that there’s a man waitin’ to take you to a marshal. He’s waiting just a mile down the road, and if ya kill me, he’ll know it.” “You’re bluffin’,” Bret replied, his hand shaking nervously. Sully knew that this kid was obviously past the point of caring whether or not his finger slipped or not. He was mad with grief, and was willing to do anything to try to ease the pain of his brother’s death. “I ain’t bluffin’,” Sully replied. “I try my best to be truthful all the time, so I want ya to know that if you kill me, you’ll be goin’ away for the rest of your life. If ya let me live, ya might get a lighter sentence. Bret slowly removed his hat, and ran his fingers through his dirty, greasy hair. “Ya know, he was sweet on a girl from our hometown. He was tryin’ to get enough money to build her a nice house and ask her to marry him.” Sully felt his heart grow heavy. He had to face this. “He was the favorite, ya know? Our folks hated the both of us, but he got beat the least. He was always stickin’ up for me, and you killed him!” “It was an accident!” Sully called out in desperation as Bret made a step toward him. “It don’t matter! You’re gonna die for what you did to my brother!” Bret lunged at Sully, and Sully knew he couldn’t let the same thing happen twice. He couldn’t let Bret Jacobs die in the way his brother did, but he couldn’t let himself get killed either. He had promised his family he’d come home, and he couldn’t let them down. “Ya don’t wanna do this, Bret!” Sully managed to yell out as Bret pointed the gun into his side and held his throat with the strength of three men. Sully got the upper hand and kicked Bret’s legs to the side, giving him enough strength to roll him to his back and pin him to the ground. Bret’s fist flew up to strike Sully in the face. Sully fumbled backward and stood up. Bret brought himself to his feet and pointed the gun at Sully’s chest. Sully reached for his tomahawk so he could throw it and hit the gun out of Bret’s hand. Unfortunately the tomahawk was now lying at his feet, and he had no way of getting it into his hands before Bret would pull the trigger. “Tell my brother hello for me when ya see him in Hell,” Bret spat out. A moment later, a gunshot rang out and was followed by a thud and complete dead silence. |