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Chapter 9: The Sweat Lodge Michaela stared out her bedroom window as she sat in the rocking chair Sully had made for her when she was carrying the boys. She was holding Daniel in her arms, rocking him to sleep. Colleen was downstairs preparing dinner. Matthew and Brian were cleaning out the stables in the barn, trying to help their mother by keeping as busy as possible and minding her by doing their chores properly. Connor was already asleep, but his brother hadn’t been so eager to do the same. He fought as hard as he could to stay awake through his nap, and Michaela hated to see him fighting so hard just so he wouldn’t have to nap. She had picked him up and taken him into her room. It didn’t take long for the soothing, gentle rocking motion to put the boy to sleep, and Michaela had been sitting there for twenty minutes, staring out the window and wondering what Sully was doing or where he was. She knew that if something had gone wrong, she’d be able to feel it in her heart. When David had taken her prisoner, she and Sully had stayed connected through their dreams. They had even felt each other’s pain while they were separated. That was a bond that could never be broken. They could find their way back to each other through their dreams, and she was absolutely positive that it would be no different this time around. She stood from the rocking chair and quietly carried Daniel out of the room and down the hall to his own room. Michaela smiled as he put him down in his bed. She looked over at the two cradles the boys used to sleep in. She knew those would come in hand very soon. She put her hand on her stomach and was overcome with a warm feeling. Though it wasn’t fun to gain all of that weight and have a hard time moving around, Michaela couldn’t wait until she began to show, so she could point out to the boys that they used to be in there all safe and warm. “Sleep tight,” she whispered to Daniel before closing the door and starting back to the bedroom. Once she was inside, she sat down on the bed and pulled the music box that Sully had bought for her into her lap. She examined the lid and the birthstones that Sully had had specially ordered. Her fingers moved admiringly over the intricate designs. She knew that another birthstone would have to be added before too long. She opened the lid, and the song they first danced to in Boston floated into the air. Michaela remembered how handsome Sully had looked when he walked into the Quinn house in a tux for the first time. She was sure she wanted to spend forever with him on that very night, but she hadn’t admitted it to herself. Memories began to seep through her mind. She remembered Sully’s proposal, his surprise wedding, and the look on his face when he found out he was going to be a pa. Making each other happy seemed to be what both Sully and Michaela were good at. They loved to see each other smile and know that they put those smiles on each other’s faces. “Ma?” came a voice from outside the door. It was Colleen. Michaela closed the lid to the music box and put it back on her nightstand. “Come in, Colleen,” Michaela called, wiping a tear out of the corner of her eye. Colleen stepped into the room. “Dinner’s almost ready.” “That’s alright. I’m not very hungry.” “Ma, you gotta eat. If not for you then for the baby.” Michaela nodded, knowing her daughter was right. She just didn’t feel much like eating since she was worried about Sully. “I’ll be down shortly,” Michaela replied. Colleen frowned. “Ma, he’s gonna be alright. He took care of himself out there long before any of us were in his life.” Michaela found it odd that her daughter was trying to comfort her when it was usually the other way around. She simply nodded and gave a weak smile, not wanting her child to feel obligated to sit there and feed her words of reassurance. “I know,” she replied. “You go on downstairs. I’ll be along in a little while.” Colleen cast her mother a worried glance before heading downstairs. Michaela sighed and walked over to stand next to the window. The sun was just starting to graze the horizon, and the moon was slightly visible in the sky. Michaela hoped Sully was warm enough, and she had to keep telling herself that he would be fine. Of course he knew how to take care of himself. She shook her head and opened the locket Sully had given her. She slowly closed it again and closed her eyes, hoping that Sully knew her heart would always be with him no matter what. Michaela felt a wave of nausea hit her, and she slowly made her way over to the bed. When she laid down, her stomach settled, and her hand moved to rest on top of her belly. “I’ll take it easy now,” she whispered. “I’m just worrying myself about your papa. He’ll be home soon enough, and when he gets home, we’ll have the rest of our lives together. He can’t wait to meet you. Maybe your first Christmas will be celebrated by your birth.” Michaela smiled at the thought of having a new baby around the house at Christmas. Soon, the smell of dinner wafted into the room, and Michaela felt a bit of an appetite coming back. She sat up slowly and made her way downstairs to be with her family. “How are ya feelin’ ma?” Matthew wondered. “Much better,” she replied. Physically, she was fine, but her emotions were like the wicks of sticks of dynamite, ready to explode at a moment’s notice. “I bet pa will be here by this time tomorrow.” “Don’t count on it, Brian,” Colleen replied. She looked at Michaela. “Sorry.” “It’s alright.” “Don’t worry. Sully knows how to keep himself safe, and he ain’t gonna let no outlaw hurt him again.” *~* Sully stood over the body of Bret Jacobs. He was dead, and Sully wasn’t quite sure that he could believe what had just happened. He looked up at Kid Cole’s who’s pistol still had smoke coming from the barrel. “Ya killed him,” Sully said quietly. “I didn’t wanna have to, but he was about to kill ya,” Kid Cole replied. “I spotted him and followed him right to ya.” Sully had faced the man who wanted to kill him for taking his brother’s life, and now, that man was dead. Sully realized that his life had nearly been taken, but he’d been saved before that could happen. “He wanted to kill me for killin’ his brother.” “And you don’t deserve that, Sully. I ain’t known ya very long, but I know ya deserve to have that beautiful wife and those kids you got. They’re a good bunch, and you’re a lucky man.” “I . . . I don’t know how to thank you for savin’ my life. I wish it hadn’t been saved in place of another one, but I know . . .” “Don’t worry ‘bout it, son. Just be glad it wasn’t you.” “Help me get him back to town, will ya?” “I can’t,” Sully replied. “I have something I gotta do.” Sully helped Kid Cole lift the body of Bret Jacobs onto Kid Cole’s horse. “Tell my family that I love ‘em, and that I’ll be home in a few days.” Kid Cole tipped his hat and started off with his horse, taking Bret’s body back into Colorado Springs. Sully started off toward the reservation, but was surprised to come across Cloud Dancing near a stream. “Cloud Dancin’?” “I knew you’d be here,” he said with a smile. He extended his arm, and Sully grasped it in the spirit of friendship and brotherhood. “I’m sorry I lied to ya.” “You were lost.” “I need to find my way again,” he said quietly. “First, you must heal. We will construct a sweat lodge.” “Here?” “Yes. You need to be alone in order to heal. I will build a fire, but you must heal alone. That is why you need the water in the stream. Mother Earth will help you heal.” Sully rubbed his sore shoulder, knowing it was going to take more than a sweat lodge to heal his arm. But as for the rest of himself, he would leave his own spirit and mind in the hands of the Spirits themselves. Sully helped his friend construct the sweat lodge, and by the time they were finished, it was dark, and the moon was full and high in the sky. Cloud Dancing built a fire and Sully gathered stones and water to pour over them to make the steam. Cloud Dancing spoke a Cheyenne ritual chant to ask the spirits to help Sully find his way again. Sully crawled into the sweat lodge, put scorching hot stones into a pile, and poured water over them, causing the pitch-black hut to fill with steam. He stripped out of his clothing and put a buckskin towel around his waist. Cloud Dancing left after he spoke to the spirits, and made sure the fire, stones, and water was near enough for Sully to continue the three-day ritual by himself. The three days would consist of no food to eat, only water to nourish the soul and cleanse the body. Sully chanted, asking the spirits to help him find his way, and the first vision that came to him was that of his beautiful wife and children smiling and waving at him as he walked into the house. “Michaela,” he whispered as his eyes looked into the pure blackness of the sweat lodge but saw into his family’s lives. The vision of killing Tom Jacobs came to him, and he began to tremble in grief and fear. He thought for sure that Tom’s spirit was going to kill his, but when the memory began to play over and over again, it began to focus purely on Michaela lying in the wagon with the twins, shielding them from gunfire. The spirits showed Sully what everyone had been telling him and what he’d been trying to convince himself. He was protecting Michaela and the children first and foremost, putting their lives before his own. Another vision was of Michaela standing before him, her belly protruding from pregnancy. A smile appeared upon her beautiful face as one hand rested on her belly, and the other reached out to him. Sully reached out, and in his vision, he held her close and felt his child kicking him as Michaela’s belly pressed against him, as if wanting him to know that his life, and the lives of his wife and children meant more than anything else in the entire world. *~* Three days had passed, and Michaela was beginning to get worried. Kid Cole had explained to her what had happened and that Sully hadn’t been harmed in any way. Michaela knew that Sully was going to go through the healing ritual in a sweat lodge, but she was starting to grow concerned, because her dreams had been filled with visions of Sully lying in a dark sweat lodge, suffering through nightmares and visions of his life and of his future. She needed to go to him and be by his side, but she knew she shouldn’t interrupt this ritual, because it meant a lot to her husband. She only hoped that he would come out of this knowing that he had done the right thing and that he shouldn’t let his guilt get in the way of living the rest of his life to the fullest. Jenny came walking into the clinic with a young girl at her side. “Jenny? What is it?” “Some of her friends dared her to jump off the see-saw at recess, and she hurt her arm. “Oh dear, let me have a look,” Michaela said, thinking to herself that kids will be kids. It was little Allison Edwards, and she was quite the tomboy of her class. Jenny lifted Allison up onto the table. “Why did you jump off the see-saw, Allison?” Michaela wondered as she started to examine the girl’s arm. She whimpered and brushed her tears away with the back of her hand. “Ella Johnson and Carrie Easton dared me too. They said I could fly if I did.” “You know people can’t fly, young lady,” Jenny said sternly, though her eyes expressed deep sympathy and concern for the little girl. “I know, Mrs. Baker. I promise I won’t do it again,” she whimpered. She screamed in pain when Michaela touched her arm again. “Oh my,” she said softly. “Allison, it appears that you haven’t broken your arm. You’ve just dislocated your shoulder, and I’m going to have to pop it back into place.” “Should you give her something for the pain?” “Unfortunately the pain medication I have is too strong for such a little girl.” Michaela sighed and walked over to get a tongue depressor. “Alright, sweetheart, I need you to bite down hard on this, alright? You bite down hard and don’t take this from your mouth until I tell you, alright?” Allison sniffled and nodded obediently. “What are ya gonna do?” “I need to pull the joint back into its socket. Will you hold her down for me?” Jenny nodded, and Michaela poised herself to perform this task. “Allison, this is going to hurt, so I need you to be brave for me, alright?” Allison nodded again, whimpering. “It’ll only hurt for a moment, and then it’ll feel much better.” She quickly pulled the arm back into joint, and the little girl let out a shriek and bit the tongue depressor hard. “There ya go, Allison. Dr. Mike made ya all better.” Allison slowly set up with Michaela and Jenny’s help. “Thanks Dr. Mike,” Allison said softly, sniffling again. “I want you to rest for a few hours, and we’ll make sure your parents come to get you.” “Okay,” Allison replied. Jenny helped her down and took her upstairs to a recovery room to lie down. Michaela smiled, thinking about how much Allison was like Brian. She was a daredevil, but intelligent as well. They had very similar personalities. Brian was sweet on her, Michaela had observed, and she thought they made very good friends. Allison had just moved from Boulder, Colorado, and it was good to see that she was already making friends, though some of those friends thought they could take advantage of her because she would do almost any dare thrown her way. Brian came rushing into the clinic. “Ma! Is Allison alright?” Michaela smiled. “She’s fine now,” Michaela replied. “Can I go see her?” “May I go see her," she corrected. "She’s resting now, but I’m sure she’ll be up for some company later.” “Alright,” Brian replied, sounding a little disappointed. “Can I go get her some candy at Mr. Bray’s store?” “Go ahead,” Michaela replied. “Here’s a dime.” “Thanks, ma!” he replied as Michaela tossed him the coin. He rushed across town to the mercantile, and Michaela shook her head, smiling at her son’s behavior. She walked into the other room, intending to check on the boys, but she remembered that she’d left the boys with Myra that morning, and since it was Myra’s day off, they were at the her home. Fortunately, Jenny had let school out early, so Brian wasn’t missing anything else. Matthew had already made strict plans to go home and work on an essay he had to submit for his entrance into college. Michaela was so proud at how hard he was already working. Colleen had asked Michaela to stay the night at Becky’s house, so at least Michaela knew that her daughter was safe, and after having consulted with Becky’s mother, she knew her daughter was in good hands. Michaela had considered going to find Sully, but she didn’t want to leave the boys all alone at the homestead. Matthew had a lot of work to do, so Brian would be fending for himself. “Michaela?” came Dorothy’s voice from the door that Brian had forgotten to shut. “Oh, Dorothy! Come on in.” Dorothy came in and shut the door behind her. “No word from Sully yet?” Michaela regretfully shook her head. “Not since Kid Cole came back to town with Brett Jacobs’ body.” “You must be worried sick,” Dorothy said, shaking her head and putting a sympathetic hand on Michaela’s shoulder. “I know he can take care of himself, but I’m just worried about what this healing ritual is doing to him. He’s told me about them before. He goes days without food, and only lives on water.” “A man can do that.” “Yes, but I’m worried, because I don’t want him getting sick.” “Sully’s gonna be fine, Michaela,” Dorothy said with a smile. “But if you’re that worried about him, go check on him. I’m sure he wouldn’t get upset with ya for bein’ concerned.” “You’re right,” Michaela said with a soft smile. “But I have no one to watch Brian.” “I’ll look after him,” Dorothy offered. “I’m sure I can find some use for him at the store. He can work off some free candy.” Michaela and Dorothy laughed together. “Alright,” she replied. “I’ll go find him.” Michaela gave her friend a hug, and Dorothy hurried over to the mercantile to let Brian know of the situation. Michaela grabbed her medical bag and went upstairs to tell Jenny to inform Allison’s parents of her injury. Jenny assured Michaela that the situation would be handled, so Michaela got the wagon from the livery and started off to find Sully. *~* Myra was sitting on the front porch of the homestead working on peeling apples for a pie that afternoon. She smiled when she watched Connor and Daniel crawl around on the porch. She and Hank had been getting along so much better now. They had taken a two-day vacation away from work to spend with one another, and now they were both happier than before. Lately, Myra had been thinking a lot about having children, but she wasn’t quite sure if she and Hank were ready. Yes, they both loved each other, were married, and were financially able to support a child, but it seemed like it was too soon. They both had jobs to work at, and it would be hard to find time to spend together as a family. For now, Myra was content in watching the Sully boys from time to time. They were true sweethearts and were a joy to care for when their mother and father were busy. She knew Hank even enjoyed when the Sully kids would come over. He wasn’t home very often during those times, but she had actually seen him enjoying himself while holding one of the twins once. She knew he’d never admit it, but he was becoming adjusted to the idea of having children around. “Mama,” Connor called out, looking around for his mother. Myra put the peeling knife and the bowl of apples down on a small table and picked the boy up into her arms. “Your ma won’t be here for a couple more hours, sweetheart,” Myra replied. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna take good care of both of ya.” Connor loved Myra, but he wanted his mother now. He began to cry, and soon, Daniel was crying too. Myra picked Daniel up as well and headed inside. The front door opened, and Hank walked in. “Hank! Thank goodness you’re home!” “I just came to get . . .” he started, but Myra cut him off by putting Daniel in his arms. “They want their ma,” Myra replied. “Well take ‘em back into town and hand ‘em over,” Hank replied, sitting down at the dinner table. “Hank!” Myra exclaimed. “C’mon and help me. If we’re ever gonna have little ones someday, you’re gonna have to figure out how to get ‘em to stop cryin’.” Hank knew he had to get back into town to the saloon, but the look on his wife’s face told him that she needed him. “Alright, alright,” he mumbled. He began to bounce Daniel on his knee. “Alright, it’s okay. Uncle Hank’s here.” Myra grinned at Hank’s words and sat down in a chair with Connor in her arms. She began to rocking him back and forth. “Shh, it’s alright, sweetheart,” she whispered. “Your mama will be here soon, so right now, ya just gotta be good ‘til she gets here.” The boys continued to cry, and Hank wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He’s just lost three hundred dollars in a poker game, he hadn’t had a smoke since noon, and he was running on an empty stomach. “Myra, can’t ya do this? I got things to do in town.” Myra glared at Hank, her lips set in a thin line. “If you can’t help me for five minutes with these boys, maybe we shouldn’t even think about having babies of our own.” Hank sighed. He knew that it wasn’t the time to have kids yet for either of them, but he knew that Myra wanted to have a couple of them sometime down the road. Since Zack couldn’t come to live with them, he knew Myra enjoyed having the boys around sometimes, because it was practice for her. Hank knew he should be more supportive, but unfortunately, it was hard to do so when there were two screaming babies in the house, and he was already trying to get over a horrible headache. “I’m sorry,” he said honestly. “I’ll try harder.” He stood up and walked outside with the boy in his arms, sat on the porch and began to talk to him soothingly. Myra sat inside, trying to get the other boy to calm down, and once he had, she could hear Hank’s soothing words to the boy, and her beliefs that he was going to be a good pa were once again confirmed. *~* After an hour of searching, Michaela came upon the sweat lodge next to the stream. She wasn’t sure what to do, or if the healing ritual had been completed yet. But once she saw Sully leave the sweat lodge and stretch his muscles, she knew he was done. He looked so much more relaxed now, though she knew he could use something to eat. That was why she had stopped by Grace’s first to pick him up something to eat. “Sully!” she called out. Sully turned around quickly, hearing her voice, and wondering for a moment whether or not she was real. He had seen so many visions over the past few days that he wasn’t quite sure what was real and what wasn’t. “Michaela?” he asked. She smiled and began to run toward him. He knew from the moment she rushed into his arms that this was real. Michaela put the picnic basket and her medical bag down before letting Sully envelop her into his arms. “It’s really you?” “Yes,” she whispered, attacking his lips with kisses. Sully felt her lips upon his, and her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth. He parted his lips to grant her access, and they caressed one another as they got reacquainted with each other for the first time in three days. Three days didn’t seem like long to many people, but the anxiety and stress on both of their parts had seemed like an eternity. There wasn’t time for talk now. They just needed to be with one another and reassure each other that everything was fine now. “I need you,” Sully whispered. “I’ve missed you.” Michaela looked toward the sweat lodge, and Sully followed her gaze. Without words, Sully scooped her up into his arms and carried her to his place of healing. He pulled back one of the furs and guided her inside. The steam had gone away, and what lay before Michaela’s eyes was nothing but a bed of fur and a pile of since-cooled stones. Michaela laid back onto the bed of fur, and she felt her breathing quicken as Sully crawled in, leaving the fur flap lifted in order for them to see one another. Sully was dressed in nothing but the towel he’d been wearing during the ritual, and Michaela had to admit that she was glad of that. It had been three long days and nights since she’d last seen her husband, and she needed to feel his heart beating against hers, and to feel him moving within her, caressing all of her worries away. Sully crawled over his wife, gently unbuttoning the top of her dress, pushing it over her shoulders to reveal her undershirt. Michaela maneuvered herself in such a way to help Sully remove the dress without tearing it to shreds, which he felt like doing so he could get to her; be with her. Sully removed the pins from Michaela’s hair, and it fell loosely over her shoulders and down her back. She closed her eyes and lifted her arms so Sully could remove the undershirt. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her lips with renewed ecstasy. Michaela moaned into his mouth, feeling his rippling muscles against her bare skin. He moved to take her out of the rest of her underclothes, and he feasted his eyes on her glorious naked body as he removed her shoes. Michaela fixed her eyes onto her husband’s, and the longing desire that both felt for one another was apparent in both of them. Michaela’s heart began to race, and Sully tossed her shoes aside. He spent an extra long time kissing and caressing her body with his lips and tongue, moving from her feet to her thighs. Michaela spread herself for him, and he stroked her, entering her with two and then three fingers. She bit her bottom lip but kept her eyes open. She wanted to see what Sully was doing to her. She’d fantasized about their reunion all day and night the day before, and now it was coming true. Here he was, making love to her with just his fingers, and the desire building in her center was being taken care of with gentle touches and strokes. “Sully,” she moaned. Sully removed his hand from between her legs, and continued exploring her body with his mouth, kissing her belly and sweetly torturing her breasts with his tongue. “I need you,” she whispered as his lips met hers again in a kiss that would make a person see stars! Michaela removed the towel from her husband’s body, never breaking their kiss, and he embedded himself within her, and she happily except every bit of him. They were connected through body and soul, and when Michaela did pull away, she looked up into his eyes, seeing a new light shining there. He didn’t have to tell her in so many words, because she knew that he had come to terms with what had happened. She couldn’t be sure, but she had the feeling that she’d no longer be woken at night by Sully’s nightmares. Sully needed to show Michaela how much he’d missed her, but he wasn’t quite sure he had the strength. For a moment, his heart was beating so fast that he thought it’d burst. But the one thing that ran through his mind was that if he was to die right now, he’d die the happiest man in the world. He began to move within her, not taking his time to let her catch her breath. She didn’t want him to wait either. She needed to make love with him and feel the waves of pleasure that they both experienced when they were together. She bent her knees a bit, and entangled her legs with his. She moved her hips to meet his thrusts, and she felt the tension in her center beginning to build up. She laced one of his hands with hers, and brought it down between her legs, her eyes telling him what she needed. Sully began to stroke her, knowing exactly what she needed. Michaela entangled her fingers in her husband’s hair and began to kiss his neck, tasting the salty sweat that had covered both of their bodies. He thrust inside of her again, and she let out a soft moan, gently raking her fingernails across his back. Sully moaned in pleasure as Michaela bent to kiss his chest. Her tongue followed a path from his beautifully sculpted chest to his neck, and as Sully brought her over the edge, he continued to massage her. His free hand brushed across her outer thigh, and tenderly squeezed her, and Michaela let her head fall back, exposing her neck to her husband. Several minutes later, he brought her over the edge again before spilling himself inside of her. When he pulled away, Michaela wrapped herself in his arms and rested her head upon his chest. His hand instinctively began to rub her shoulder. He looked down at her, and she brought her lips up to meet his in a soft kiss, still tasting the sweat of their passion on each other’s skin. Michaela rested her head upon his chest again, and she could feel his heartbeat steadily decreasing to a normal pace. “Are you alright?” Sully wondered after several moments of silence. “I’m wonderful,” she whispered. “Sully, I’ve missed you.” “I can tell,” he replied, nuzzling the top of her head. Michaela smiled, basking in the glory of her reunion with her husband. Her hand stroked his arm. “I don’t mean to pry,” she began, “but I’d like to know about this ritual. I know you’ve explained it to me, but I’d like to know what you went through.” She picked up his tired hand and kissed his knuckles. She tilted her head up to look him in the eyes. His eyes were half-lidded from exhaustion and satisfaction. “That is . . . if you don’t mind.” “I don’t mind,” he replied. He pulled her closer and pulled a fur skin over them. “I saw myself killin’ Tom over and over again. But each time I saw it, the focus was more on you and the boys. I began to realize for myself what you’ve been tellin’ me all along. I did it to protect you, and I know I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it’d spare you or the kids from hurtin’.” “I know you’d do anything to protect our family,” Michaela whispered. “I think you’re courageous, and I admire you even more for actually feeling guilt and regret.” “It’s not really the regret,” he replied. “I felt more guilty than anything, but I didn’t regret protectin’ my family.” “Well, either way, I admire you even more, because you showed emotion. I’ve seen people who’ve killed and showed no remorse. I’ve even seen people who’ve killed in self defense who showed no remorse. You have a good heart and a kind spirit, Sully. That’s one of the many reasons that I fell in love with you.” Sully leaned down to kiss her softly. “What else did you see?” “You, mostly, and the children. I’ve always put you and the kids first, but the visions I had made me realize that you are my future. I’m not just living in the present. We have a baby on the way, and that’s the future. Our kids are growin’ up, and they’re our future. We’re going to be together ‘til the end of our days. We’re the future.” “Indeed we are,” Michaela replied. “So you’re coming home now?” “’Course I am.” “We’ve missed you.” “It’s been three days.” “I know,” Michaela replied. “But Brian’s been missing going fishing with you. Connor and Daniel just don’t know what to do without you. It seems to take them even longer to put to sleep when you’re not home.” Sully smiled. “Well, I’m comin’ home now.” He kissed his wife and brushed his thumb over her soft lips. “Nothin’ is gonna make me go away again.” |