Shattered Remembrance
Chapter
Ten
"This is the big day, brother. You're going home."
"Wherever home is," Luke mumbled,
half-heartedly returning Leia's welcoming hug.
"Don't worry, we'll only be two floors
away," Leia continued. She began
gathering the get-well drawings that the children had brought to their
uncle.
"You live in the same building that I
did?" Luke asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"Do now," Han couldn't help muttering,
frowning at Leia's glare.
"Well, you see, Luke, we used to live near you,
and then we moved awhile ago, to
Luke's eyes flashed in indignation. "I don't need a babysitter."
"Of course you don't, kid," Han put in.
"We just thought it would be easier if you had
someone familiar around." Leia
smiled in encouragement.
"No one is familiar," Luke bit out, almost
to himself. He
turned and headed to the doorway, his limp still noticeable. Leia glanced at Han in despair, then hurried to follow.
Luke's mood had been gradually darkening since the
previous day, when Doctor Panio had pronounced him ready to be released. To Han, it seemed as if Luke were reluctant
to leave the relative safety of the medcenter.
He wondered what Luke's reaction would be if he knew of the changes Leia
had made to his apartment. To ensure
that he wouldn't hear news segments concerning his past, or get calls from
anyone not knowing of the amnesia, she had his holonet unit and comm center
removed completely. The only holos
remaining were ones of their family. Han had finally put his foot down when she
wanted to completely replace Luke's wardrobe of Jedi robes.
"He's gonna
eventually find out what kind of clothes he usually wears," Han had
argued. "Don't you think he'll be a
bit peeved when he can't find any of them?"
"We're not throwing them away," Leia had
countered. "Once he remembers being
a Jedi, we'll bring them back."
They'd finally compromised by leaving a couple
non-descript cloaks and a handful of items that Han liked to call Luke's almost-normal clothes. It was one
of those outfits that Luke now wore.
***
The turbolift ride to the docking level consisted of
Leia attempting to draw Luke into inconsequential conversation, and Luke
muttering one-syllable replies. He only
perked up as they walked past the rows of speeders to their own. For one fleeting moment, Han feared Luke
might be reluctant to get in a speeder again.
But Luke's total amnesia obviously included any memory of his near-fatal
ride. He was almost like the wide-eyed
boy that Han had transported off Tatooine all those years ago.
Landing on the rooftop pad of the apartment complex,
Han noticed Luke glance at the speeder's coordinates
display. As the three of them continued
to the apartment, Luke outwardly studied the floor number and door address. He
wants to know how to get here on his own.
Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, Han couldn't make up
his mind.
Peering over Leia's shoulder as she punched in the
access code, Luke asked her for confirmation of the numbers.
"Don't worry, Luke," she said. "One of us will be along to enter it for
you."
"I want to know the access code to my own
apartment," he said evenly.
"Yes, of course," Leia backed down. "I didn't mean you shouldn't know
it." She stepped aside, feeding him
the numbers as he repeated her motions.
As Luke entered the foyer, Leia glanced worriedly at Han.
Han feared this was only the beginning.
Leia swept into the sparse apartment and immediately
began showing Luke the various rooms.
Luke nodded obligingly, his face a blank mask.
"Thank you," he said curtly when Leia
appeared to have finished. "I'd
like to be alone now."
"But, Luke, we want you to have dinner with us,
at our place."
"There is food in the kitchen?" he asked, glancing that direction.
"Yes, I had it fully stocked. But, Luke …" Leia laid one hand gingerly on Luke's
arm, her brown eyes silently imploring her brother to see reason. "The children are anxious to see you
again."
Luke hesitated, but only for a moment. "Perhaps I can see them tomorrow."
"But don't you want some company this
evening?" Leia persisted. "I
could stay here with you…"
"No," Luke bit out. He sighed, then
seemed to visibly calm himself. "I
want to be by myself." He gazed at
his surroundings. "Explore my life,
you might say."
***
Luke stared at the
door as it slid shut behind Leia and Han – his sister and brother-in-law, or so
they said. It wasn't that he didn't
believe them. Part of him felt, deep
down, that they were exactly who they said they were. And yet part of him was wary of everything
they'd told him about himself, especially after meeting the woman named Jade at
the medcenter. It was as if they were
trying to protect him by only revealing half-truths. Was the truth about himself
so frightening that they didn't think he could handle it?
He wasn't sure why he hadn't told Han or Leia about
meeting Mara Jade. Perhaps it was the
feeling he was getting that Leia wanted control over who he met, and when. A shadow of resentment had stolen into him at
Leia's manipulating, however real or imagined it was. Tomorrow, she'd said, someone named Wedge was
supposed to visit him. An old friend. Luke
snorted in derision to himself. He
didn't have any old friends.
Glancing slowly around his apartment, Luke felt as
though he was peering through a fog.
The plain but functional furniture, the simple décor, the uncluttered
rooms themselves all had a surreal quality.
Had he chosen everything himself, or had someone else decorated the
apartment? Did he live here full-time,
or was he frequently away?
Luke began wandering through the rooms, examining
his possessions, his life. A pilot's
helmet sat on a shelf, next to a wicked-looking stick that Luke had no clue
about. His wandering gaze fell on a
painting on one wall – a sand dune, with a binary sunset. The scene tugged at his brain, but his mind
wasn't ready to give up its secrets.
There were a couple holos of Leia, Han, and their
children. Luke picked up a holo of Leia
and carried it to the reflecting glass in his bedroom. Holding it up, he compared her features to
his own, straining to note any resemblance.
Frustrated, he set the image back down.
All he could focus on was how different they looked.
A perusal of his clothes wardrobe didn't yield any
further clues to remembering his past life.
A sparse selection of tunics and trousers, two dark
cloaks, a pair of black boots. If
he was in a branch of law enforcement, shouldn't he have some sort of uniform? Slamming the wardrobe door shut, Luke
recalled overhearing two medcenter techs discussing an entertainment show
they'd watched on the holonet. He
thought he knew what the holonet was, but he didn't see any such unit in his
apartment. Crossing to a bare desk in a
corner of his bedroom, he ran one hand across the surface. Indentations in the wooden top indicated that
something had been sitting there. A holonet? Something else? What
happened to it? And shouldn't he have
some sort of communications device somewhere?
One thing was clear - Someone was deliberately
hiding portions of his life.
Flickering lights drew Luke's attention, enticing
him to the balcony outside his bedroom.
The riotous splashes of red, green, and blue from passing speeders
strangely served to assuage Luke's unsettled psyche. Sliding down against the wall on the cold ferrocrete floor, he cleared his mind of all attempts at
regaining what had been stolen from him.
Luke remained outside in the cool night air until dawn, watching the
traffic with a mesmerized fascination, letting the sights and sounds of the
city planet soothe him.
Luke Skywalker's galaxy was spinning out of
control. And he was determined to hang
on.