Shattered Remembrance

Chapter Fifteen

"How dare she!" Brown eyes flashed with barely contained fury, and Han resisted the urge to back up a few paces. "She goes out of her way to shove the truth onto him."

While you go out of your way to hide it from him, Han thought. His lovely wife had been fuming ever since Luke returned from his unauthorized visit to the Galactic Museum. Mara Jade – wisely, in Han's opinion – hadn't stuck around when she dropped Luke off just before dinnertime. She had to know that Leia would suck every detail of her brother's afternoon foray out of him.

"You think she tells him the truth about herself?" Leia continued her rant. "Her sordid background? How for years she wanted nothing more than to see him dead?"

"How she was Palpatine's personal assassin, and I was her target?" came a quiet voice from the doorway. "How she blamed me for her master's death?" Luke moved soundlessly into Leia's office. "She told me. She said I deserved to know."

"Why isn't the coward here to explain her actions to me?"

"Because I insisted she go home." Arms crossed, Luke faced his sister with defiance burning in his eyes. "She was brave enough to show me my life. She believed that I could handle knowing the truth. You, Leia, have treated me like a fragile doll. You've been afraid that I couldn't shoulder the stress of knowing I lead an order of mystical warriors. You thought I'd crumble if I knew about the battles I'd been through, and the friends I'd lost. Did you expect me to break if I knew that a Sith lord was my father?"

A small gasp escaped Leia, which Luke ignored. "Tell me, who's the coward here, sister?"

Leia collapsed onto a sofa, and Han was immediately by her side, wrapping one arm around her. "That's enough, Luke," he growled. "She's only been doing what she thought was best."

"No, Han. I'm the one who needs to apologize." Leia gazed up at her brother with tears welling in her eyes. "You've always been strong, Luke. And you've retained that strength of character throughout this ordeal. I shouldn't have doubted that you could handle this ... temporary setback ..." Leia smiled wanly, "just as bravely as you've overcome every obstacle that the galaxy has thrown at you."

"I'm sorry, too." Burying his head in his hands, Luke sat down heavily across from Leia and Han, his lean form slumping forward. "It's been so frustrating, having all my memories just out of my grasp. There were things in the museum that felt like they should be familiar, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't place them. When I reached the account of Darth Vader's death ..." Luke rubbed his eyes wearily. "His identity was tacked on almost like a footnote ... as if it were of no great consequence. The irony is, it isn't of any consequence to me. I don't remember him, don't remember his evil deeds, his atrocities." He looked his sister in the eye. "Tell me about him."

Leia took a deep breath, and Han tightened his grip in support. It had never been easy for her to talk about Darth Vader, even knowing what he did for Luke. "From what we've been able to piece together, Anakin Skywalker was an extraordinarily gifted Jedi who was taken in by Palpatine's manipulations. He turned to evil, and slaughtered many of his fellow Jedi. When you and I were born, we were separated and hidden from him. You were raised on Tatooine, and I on Alderaan. We met during the Rebellion against the Empire, and later found out we were siblings."

As Leia was relaying their history, Han studied his brother-in-law's impassive face. Luke's gaze wandered to the large transparisteel window in the room, and the endless lines of traffic zooming past. But there was no doubt that he was absorbing every word that Leia said.

"You trained as a Jedi under the last of the Masters – first Obi-Wan Kenobi, then a grand master named Yoda," Leia continued. "During a decisive battle against the Empire, you confronted Vader. He brought you before the Emperor. When you refused to join the Sith, Palpatine tried to kill you. Somehow, you awakened a spark of goodness that was buried deep within Darth Vader, and he saved your life by killing the Emperor. But he wasn't able to overcome his own injuries he sustained in doing so, and he died.

"You believed there was good in him, Luke, even when no one else did." Leia smiled warmly. "You loved him, and he returned that love."

"You're still having trouble accepting him as our father, aren't you?"

"I've made my peace with him," Leia said simply.

Luke nodded. "You named Anakin after him." He pressed his lips into a flat line. "And what of our mother?"

Leia shook her head sadly. "We know nothing of her identity. I have vague memories of a woman that I believe was our mother, but she died when I was very young. You couldn't remember her at all."

"Now there's a surprise," Luke snorted. "It's nice to know I haven't forgotten someone I couldn't remember to begin with." He exhaled deeply. "I don't know, Leia. Even as all these facts are laid out before me, I feel there is some hidden truth I have yet to discover. Maybe about our mother. Maybe about someone else. Someone close to me." He leaned back in his seat. "I need to get away from Coruscant. The city is closing in on me; I feel like a prisoner here."

"No, Luke! Don't be ridiculous." Leia slipped out of Han's embrace to kneel at her brother's side. "Where would you go? You're not ready to go off by yourself."

"I'm not a child, Leia," Luke ground out, not returning Leia's grip on his hand, but not pushing her away, either. "Millions of beings travel around the galaxy on their own."

Leia glanced back at Han a moment, biting her lip. "Listen, Luke ... Cilghal is coming to Coruscant in a few days. We thought she could make another attempt at retrieving your memories."

"It didn't do any good the last time she tried," Luke retorted. "All that her poking and prodding did was give me a pounding headache."

"But you're much more skilled in the Force now than you were before," Leia countered.

Luke shook his head, running a hand through his dark blond hair. "That's still no guarantee."

"What about your lessons with Mara?" Leia persisted. "You're making so much progress."

Leia must really be getting desperate, Han thought, to use Mara as a lure to keep him close, especially in light of that afternoon's activities.

"I'm not making any progress at all in remembering anything," Luke grumbled. "And I overheard Karrde ask her when she'd be returning to her job. I've monopolized her time enough."

"You can't run off before Lando's wedding next week, kid," Han interjected. "He'd be devastated if you weren't there."

Han's attempt at lightening the mood had the desired effect.

"He'd get over it," Luke said, letting a wry smile escape. "All right, I'll stick around until the wedding. But after that ..."

"Perhaps," Leia began tentatively, "you could go to Yavin IV. Kam could help you learn more Force skills."

"And I'd conveniently have a new set of babysitters." His mood darkening once more, Luke gave her a look that teetered between exasperation and insolence.

Leia's expression matched her twin's exactly.

"But I guess it's a start," Luke finally mumbled, his determination seeming to wilt under his sister's glare.

Or maybe he was calculating how it would be easier to escape when out from under Leia's thumb.

***

"He's a lot like he was when we first met him," Han remarked later that evening, casually pouring a measure of brandy. He still savored his victory of the battle of wills over whether their bedroom's sitting area could contain a small liquor cabinet. "Restless. Craving new adventures."

Leia's stare was incredulous. "He's nothing like he used to be."

"C'mon now, sweetheart." Han paired his lop-sided smile with his best sultry drawl. "You knew he wouldn't be content to sit around on Coruscant forever. Luke is still Luke, whether he remembers it or not." He sauntered across the room, leaning down to nuzzle his wife's slim neck. "We don't have to talk about Luke all night, do we?"

"But, Han ..." Leia closed her chocolate eyes as a small moan escaped her. Han doubled his efforts.

"Who knows? Maybe he's right," Han murmured, pausing to slip the strap of her dressing gown off her shoulder. "Maybe getting out of the rut of this city will help his memory."

Leia reached behind her and took the brandy glass out of Han's hand. He smiled as the glass found a home on a makeshift coaster on her antique ampohr-wood dressing table. "But he shouldn't be alone."

"Maybe Mara can be persuaded to go with him," Han suggested. He ran both hands down the front of Leia's gown, deftly undoing buttons with practiced ease. "You are wrong about one thing, though, m'dear."

"What's that?" Leia breathed throatily.

"Luke is still the same." Han slipped one hand under Leia's legs, effortlessly lifting his princess into his arms. "He still manages to tie up a conversation that should only be about us."

"Nerf—"

Leia never got the chance to finish her rebuke, as her husband's lips crushed hers with a possessive fire.

Luke wasn't mentioned again the rest of the night.