Shattered Remembrance

Chapter Seventeen

Mara Jade wasn't sure where she was running. She wasn't sure how long she'd been running. The only thing filling her mind was the vision of Luke leaving the wedding reception, hand in hand with Callista.

"Mara!"

Skidding to a halt, Mara swiped at the tears in her eyes before swinging around to face her pursuer.

"Talon?"

Panting slightly, the information broker paused to rest his hands on his knees. "I've been calling your name for three blocks. Mara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she bit out. "I just want to be alone."

Shaking his head, Talon looked around the neighborhood they'd stopped in. Spotting a halfway respectable-looking tapcaf, he grabbed Mara's arm and steered her toward the door.

"What are you doing?" Mara snapped, trying to break free of her boss' vice-like grip without hurting him.

"I'm getting to the bottom of what's going on with you," he said, his normally smooth voice bordering on a growl. Entering the brightly lit establishment, he guided them toward a secluded table in the rear.

"Now," Talon began, taking a seat across from his second-in-command, "am I correct in assuming that your behavior has something to do with Luke Skywalker?"

Mara focused her frustrated glare on the seasoning shaker sitting centimeters from her elbow.

"You seemed to be in good spirits around him," he continued, undaunted by her silence. "Until Callista Ming appeared out of the blue." Talon stroked his neatly trimmed goatee. "I've never known you to be quite this testy when Skywalker socializes with a woman. Even when he was courting Ming—"

"He doesn't know her!" Mara blurted out. "She could take advantage of him."

"Skywalker doesn't appear to be overly gullible, even with the amnesia," Karrde returned. "If anything, I've observed him to be more cautious than ever."

"But you don't know Callista," Mara protested. "She had him wrapped around her little finger before. She could do it again. I don't trust her."

"Mara," Karrde reached out and laid a hand over Mara's clenched fists, "is this about Callista, or is this about you, and how you feel about Luke?"

Mara flattened her lips into a thin line. "He's my friend," she bit out. "I don't want to see him get hurt."

"I don't want to see you hurt." Talon leaned back. "And you're hurting right now, I can tell."

"No, I ... I'm ... "

"Are you falling in love with him, Mara?"

Squeezing her eyes shut, Mara refused to answer.

"Solo suspected Luke was beginning to have feelings for you, and I had a hunch that you were seeing him in a different light, too. That's why we—" Karrde stopped suddenly.

Mara narrowed her eyes. It wasn't like Karrde to make a slip. "That's why you what? What, Talon?"

Karrde sighed in resignation. "We arranged for you to be the one to go after him at the Cavrilhu pirates' lair."

"You were trying to set us up?!" It didn't matter that Mara had been glad for the chance to see him, and relieved that she could save him from the mess he'd gotten himself into. The idea that Karrde and Solo were plotting behind her back ...

"It wasn't a blind date, Mara," Karrde attempted to justify his actions. "Solo said Luke had been experiencing an odd restlessness, some kind of Force stress, and was overly touchy when your name was mentioned. I brought up that you acted the same way after meeting Leia on Wayland."

Mara grimaced. She couldn't really dispute Talon's observations, as much as she wanted to.

"So we thought if the two of you met, perhaps you could work out whatever was bothering the both of you."

"And when that meeting didn't seem to have results, you decided to try again at Nirauan?"

"I had nothing to do with his showing up just as Faughn's message came in," Karrde objected. "I stated that we needed someone to go after you, and he volunteered." He peered at Mara questioningly. "Did the two of you get to the root of your restive feelings?"

Biting her lower lip, Mara hesitated. Talon Karrde was more than her boss, he was a good friend. One that knew her almost better than anyone. And the bottling up of her emotions lately was tearing her apart.

"Yes, Talon, we worked out our feelings quite satisfactorily." She couldn't help letting a wistful smile escape.

Karrde raised an eyebrow, waiting for Mara to continue.

"On Nirauan, Luke asked me to be his wife, and he told me he loved me." Mara gave a strained chuckle. "In that order, if you can believe it."

Talon stared at Mara, open incredulity filling his handsome face. "And did ...?"

"Yes, I accepted his proposal, without hesitation." Mara exhaled, her shoulders sagging. "We were going to get married. We were happy." She raised her chin, not bothering to swipe at the tears brimming in her eyes. "He's dedicated half his life to his all-mighty Force. So how can it play such a cruel trick on him? Tell me that."

"I don't know, Mara. I just don't know. But I can't believe the Force is punishing him." Talon squeezed her hand. Mara hadn't realized he'd still been holding her clenched fists.

"No, it's punishing me," Mara grated out. "Luke had this insane notion that bad things had happened to Gaeriel and Callista and Jem, simply because he'd cared for them. He thought he was bad luck. It was what had held him back from having feelings for me. I ... I berated him for imagining such nonsense. I told him to never hold back on loving someone."

Mara pulled her hands away, wrapping her arms around herself. "Why, Talon? Maybe I'm the one who should've held back. I have no business thinking I deserve any happiness. I did this to him."

"Mara, that's rubbish. It was an accident, pure and simple. And you haven't lost him. Luke's alive. He's recovering more and more every day. He's a survivor."

"But he doesn't know who I am. I'm nothing more than his temporary Jedi instructor." Mara ran a hand through her long hair, not caring if she was ruining her carefully coiffured locks. "He's planning on going to Yavin to continue his training. He won't give me a second thought. And now with Callista back ..."

"And you're going to give up without a fight? That's not like you, Mara." Talon narrowed his piercing blue eyes. "Tell him the truth, Mara. You've been on a campaign to not hide the truth from him on every other aspect of his past life. Why hide your own relationship with him?"

"What am I supposed to say? 'Hi, Luke, how ya doing? By the way, I forgot to mention that we're madly in love, and engaged to be married.'" Mara snorted in derision. "I'd scare him off faster than you could blink."

"So you're just going to give up, then." Talon crossed his own arms in an imitation of a stern parent lecturing a child. "This isn't the Mara Jade I've come to know and respect."

Mara squeezed her eyes shut, burying her face in her hands. Talon was right. She'd never in her life given up when she wanted something. And she wanted Luke back, badly. She needed Luke back.

One way or another, she was going to get him back.

***

Ever since his fateful accident, Luke Skywalker felt like he'd been treading quicksand, barely staying afloat as forces conspired to pull him under. Trying to ignore the beautiful woman clinging to his arm, he had a premonition that she was not going to be the one to throw him a lifeline.

Each time Luke attempted to explain the true status of his health, Callista insisted that all conversation should be put on hold until they reached his apartment. He was relieved when they finally entered the front door. Perhaps now her misconception of him could be cleared up.

"Why don't you fix us a drink, darling?" Callista drawled.

"I don't have any alcohol here," Luke stated quickly. "Listen, Callista ..."

"Then a blend of tea, perhaps. Or ..." She paused in thought. "Hot chocolate?"

There was a generous supply of the sweet chocolaty drink in his cupboard. Leia had explained that it had been his favorite drink, and he had to admit he found it enjoyable. "All right," he agreed. "But then we have to talk."

"Of course." Callista stroked his face softly. "We have so much to catch up on."

"You have no idea," Luke mumbled under his breath as he entered his kitchen. When he returned with two steaming cups, his supposedly former girlfriend was nowhere to be seen.

"Callista?"

"Up here, love," a voice floated in the air.

Luke looked up the half-flight of stairs leading to his bedroom. Shavit. With trepidation he climbed the steps, shock radiating through him when he reached the top. There just inside the doorway of his bedchamber stood Callista.

Without a stitch of clothing.

Luke's mouth dropped open, and the mugs of steaming liquid nearly dropped along with it.

"Let me take those," Callista cooed, reaching out to set the mugs on a nearby table.

"What in blazes are you doing?!" Luke cried, frozen in place.

"Don't you want to make love to me, darling?" Callista trailed her fingers across his shoulders.

"No!" Horrified, Luke stepped back out of her reach.

"But it's been so long. Haven't you missed me?"

"Missed you? I don't even know you!" It finally occurred to Luke that he should be averting his eyes. Turning his attention to his clothes wardrobe, he yanked out a dressing robe and threw it in the seductive woman's general direction. "Put this on."

"You ... don't know me? Do I not look the same to you?" Callista's voice sounded confused, and Luke couldn't blame her.

"I've been trying to tell you," he began, daring to turn around, and breathing a sigh of relief that she had donned the robe. "Let's sit down," he said, nodding toward the small sitting area next to the full wall transparisteel windows. He checked the settings of the windows, then thanked the stars that he'd left them in the 'opaque' mode before leaving for the wedding.

Even wearing the heavy robe, Callista slid into the seat opposite his with the grace of a professional dancer. Her poise and litheness reminded him of Mara Jade, though there was something about Mara that he preferred. A familiarity, he supposed, born of their daily training lessons. If she had been the one to show up in his bedchamber, would he have been so quick to offer a robe ...?

"Luke?"

"Yeah, uh ..." Luke forced his mind to the business at hand, focusing on the woman waiting patiently for his explanation. She did have beautiful gray eyes. "You see, Callista, I'm not as recovered from my injuries as you assume. Truth is, I've got amnesia. I can't remember anyone or anything from my life prior to the accident."

Callista stared at him blank-faced for several moments, as if processing this unexpected information. "You have no memory of me?"

"No, I'm sorry. I don't." Luke smiled apologetically.

"But at the reception, you knew Han Solo and Princess Leia," Callista said, frowning.

"I didn't until they told me who they were," Luke explained. "Everyone I ever knew before has to re-introduce themselves to me. I've spent the last few months re-learning all I can about my own life. All I know about you is what Han related to me."

"Your memory was wiped, like a droid's," Callista stated, almost to herself. "I understand now."

"Well, yes." His situation was rather like a droid's memory-wipe. "So, you see, it's impossible for me to pick up where we left off."

"But we could begin anew, could we not?"

Luke shook his head reluctantly. "Perhaps someday. But right now I need to concentrate on regaining my memories. I don't think beginning a relationship is the best path for me at the moment."

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Callista asked. "Anything at all?"

Luke wished he could sense the emotions of this stranger. He was getting adept at sensing others, but he could see what Han meant about Callista being a blank hole in the Force. She seemed sincere, and he had no reason to doubt her. He had been accepting with blind faith everything told him for months now, so should she be any different?

"I don't know," he replied. "I'm planning on going to Yavin soon, to see if anything there jogs my memory, and to continue my Force training. Coruscant is closing in on me."

Callista's face brightened. "Why don't you come with me? I could take you to places that may prove helpful in your recovery – places we visited together." She smiled warmly. "I promise not to attempt a seduction again." One gray eye winked enticingly. "Unless you request it, of course."

He had been wanting to get offplanet, true. And Leia was the one who had talked him into going to Yavin. Was a leisurely jaunt around the galaxy with an old friend just what he needed? A break from the grind of training in the Force and memorizing his personal history.

"We could leave first thing in the morning," Callista continued, apparently taking his silence as a possible acquiescence. "I have a ship docked at the StarWatch Spaceport."

He'd overheard Han and Wedge joking about his impulsiveness when they'd first met him. 'Act first, think later' was how Han put it. How impulsive would it be to take off with this woman? Very. Luke looked across at Callista, holding her cool gaze with his own.

"All right, I'll do it," he said. "I can be ready by dawn."

"Wonderful," Callista said, smiling. She rose smoothly, picking up her discarded evening gown, then hesitated. "I had been planning on staying with you tonight, but under the circumstances ..."

Luke's inborn sense of chivalry kicked in automatically. "You can sleep here," he offered, gesturing toward his bed. "It's too late to find a hotel room." When Callista nodded gratefully and began slipping off her robe, he quickly held one hand up. "I meant, you can use my bed while I sleep downstairs."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Luke, for your hospitality. I will do everything in my power to help you."

"Good night, Callista," Luke said, backing toward the doorway. Part of him wished he'd pressed Han for more details on how deep a relationship he'd had with the tall beauty. It hurt to think that she could be more acquainted with his bedchamber than he was.

"Good night, my love." Callista moved forward, kissing him softly on the lips. "Sleep well."

Luke squelched any feelings of loss or yearning as he descended the stairs. For the most part, he was satisfied to leave the past buried. All that mattered now was the future.

***

Sitting down heavily on his well-worn couch, Luke belatedly realized he hadn't brought any bedding with him. He wasn't about to go back up to his bedroom, though. He could only imagine what state of undress she was in already, and he was doing his best not to imagine it.

He wasn't sure he could sleep, anyway.

Leia was going to hit the roof when she found out he was leaving on a whim. He hadn't even thought to ask exactly where they'd be going. In fact, he was surprised his sister hadn't come knocking on his door to ask what was going on with Callista. Han was probably holding her back.

It would be best, Luke thought, if he waited and sent her a message after being underway. Still, the idea of taking off without telling anyone seemed irresponsible.

With sleep eluding him, Luke wandered out to the balcony. A cool breeze wafted through the night air, gently swaying the olamillese ferns growing in planters lining the terrace. Sliding down into a sitting position, Luke slipped his hands into his jacket pockets. His fingers found metal, and he pulled out the comlink he'd forgotten was in there. Turning the small cylinder over in his hand, he reflected that he had yet to use it. He saw Mara everyday, so why call her? He'd never told Leia or Han that he had possession of it.

Watching the streams of speeders criss-crossing the darkened sky, he thought of the woman upstairs, and their upcoming escape from Coruscant.

Perhaps it was time to put the comlink to use.

***

Listening intently to make sure Luke had retired for the evening, Callista slipped a comlink of her own from a secret pocket sewn inside her gown.

"M'lord?" she whispered.

"Your report?" a disembodied voice answered gruffly.

"There has been an unforeseen complication, m'lord," Callista said. "Luke is not as fully recovered as we were led to believe."

"How so?"

"He has amnesia. He does not remember me."

"Hmm ..." After a pause, the voice continued smoothly, "This could be an unexpected boon. You can tell him anything; he won't know the difference."

"He has already agreed to accompany me offworld, m'lord," Callista acknowledged. "But he will not be aware of the circumstances behind your wish to meet him."

"Then I shall take great pleasure in informing him," the voice returned. "Do not be late."

"I won't, m'lord," Callista promised, her tone clipped and even. "I shall bring him before you, as I agreed."