Shattered Remembrance

Chapter Four

Hours stretched into half a standard day, and Luke hadn't yet come out of surgery. Even the medical droids began avoiding the waiting room after Han ambushed the tenth employee passing by, badgering him for any information regarding Luke's condition. No one could tell them anything other than multiple injuries meant multiple surgical procedures. Three teams of specialists had rotated in and out of the operating theater.

Mara stayed huddled in 'her corner,' watching the sun go down, the city's lights flicker on, the rain beat against the window, the rain stop, and the sun come up.

And still Luke lay on an operating table.

***

As the hours wore on, the waiting area began to swell with visitors. Winter held Leia's hand as Han paced back and forth in helpless frustration. Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu talked quietly in a corner. Lando kept excusing himself to answer comm calls. Bibberry muffins brought by Iella sat untouched on the room's low table, though the caf maker was working overtime. It seemed everyone was straggling back to Coruscant about the same time, each of them offering words of comfort to Leia. No one tried to comfort Mara, for which she was thankful. Faughn had commed the first hour, asking if Mara needed anything, and to say that Karrde would be returning in two days. But he could come sooner if Mara wanted. She declined.

President Gavrisom had made an appearance, talked to Han and Leia quietly, then retreated to his office. Something was up, Mara could tell. Something political. But she didn't think it directly involved her or Luke, so it didn't matter.

Han had succeeded in finding Artoo-Detoo at the crash site. Or at least, what was left of him. The droid's outer casing was beyond recognition, but he could be rebuilt. Most importantly, his memory bank was intact. The New Republic's best technicians were already working on the astromech, and had reported that they were confident that the Caamasi Document could be saved.

Mara had this insane notion that Luke cushioned Artoo's fall, more concerned over his metal friend than his own safety. Or maybe not so insane. It was the kind of thing Luke would do.

She overheard Han describing the crash site to Lando, making sure he was out of Leia's hearing. Horrific … Nothing but a pile of twisted metal … Don't know how the kid survived …

Shifting slightly, Mara dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands to keep from crying. It had been barely a week ago that her heart had felt torn in two, when she'd feared that Luke had been killed by the Chiss. Later, she'd learned that Luke had had a near-meltdown when her Force presence had suddenly disappeared. Now she was once again filled with anxiety-riddled pain. Was this some wicked byproduct of loving someone? If so, she could better understand Luke's initial reluctance to let himself love her.

Mara forced her thoughts toward the beautiful, warm feelings that Luke invoked in her. There was no doubt in her mind - their love was worth any heartache that life could throw at them.

She only hoped that life would give them the chance.

***

Anxious faces all turned one direction as Dr. Panio entered the somber room. "Councilor," the tall Chandrillan medic began before glancing at the large group. "Perhaps we should go into my office."

"Everyone here is a good friend of Luke's." Leia's red-rimmed eyes swept the room, pausing briefly on Mara before turning back to the doctor. "Please, tell us his condition."

The doctor nodded, leading Leia back to her seat on the couch. "Master Skywalker's injuries were extremely severe …"

Leia gave a small gasp, bracing herself for unwanted news.

"… but he came through the surgeries in good form, and we are cautiously optimistic that he will have a full recovery."

Full recovery! Mara released a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her heart had already told her that Luke would be all right. The medic's pronouncement was merely a formality.

"We have placed your brother in a bacta tank to hasten his recovery," continued Doctor Panio. "He'll need bone knitters on his right leg and arm for at least another month. And we had to remove his prosthetic hand due to irreparable damage. As soon as the swelling on his arm goes down, we can attach a new hand."

"Can we see him now?" Leia asked.

"Yes, but only you and Captain Solo," the doctor replied. "Master Skywalker is unconscious, of course, and I prefer that only family members visit the bacta area."

After promising to report on Luke's condition, Han and Leia swept out of the room. Mara had to grip the faux-leather arms of her chair to keep from bolting after them. Instead, she reached out with the Force, pulling Luke's aura to herself. It felt cloudy, numb. Foreign.

***

Leia swayed slightly, and Han automatically curled one arm around her slim shoulders. The sight of her brother was heartbreaking as he floated silently in the healing fluid.

"Just like on Hoth," Han murmured, tightening his grip.

"No," Leia breathed, her eyes trailing down Luke's right arm to the stump at the end. "Like after Bespin." She buried her head in Han's shoulder, her body shuddering with sobs.

"Hey, Princess," Han soothed. "He's gonna be all right. You heard the doc. Luke's strong. He's gonna come through this just fine."

"I know, Han." Leia swiped at her wet eyes. "It's just so hard, seeing him like this."

Han's comm buzzed suddenly, and he reluctantly stepped aside. He swore softly as Chewbacca's barks and growls filled the room. Giving his friend a quick answer, he turned back to Leia's questioning gaze.

"The children?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Chewie says they're beside themselves. They know something's wrong, and that it has something to do with Luke." He rubbed one hand over his face. "They'll be docking in less than an hour."

"We have to go to them." Leia exhaled quietly, knowing her children needed her more right now than her brother. He was in good hands, and there was really nothing she could do for him until he was removed from the bacta. With one last look, Leia took Han's outstretched hand, and began preparing herself for how she could calm her children's fears when her own fears were still so fresh.

***

Han and Leia made a quick stop at the waiting room, assuring everyone that Luke was stable and thanking them for their concern. As Luke's friends and family filed out of the room, Mara made sure she lagged behind. Tatooine would freeze over before she'd leave without seeing Luke.

She gradually slowed her steps as the others headed toward the exit, confident that their friend had survived yet another brush with death. Pausing as the last straggler rounded a corner in the wide corridor, Mara quickly reversed direction and confidently hurried toward the bacta ward. Medical droids walked, rolled, and hovered past her. Medics, technicians and visitors of a dozen different species bustled back and forth. Mara ignored them all. Luke's presence in the Force was like a beacon that unerringly guided her.

Mara's quick-paced progress was halted as she came face-to-face with the droid outside the bacta chamber. Was this whole flaming place staffed with droids standing guard? The irony didn't escape her that sentinel droids had indirectly brought them together, and now more droids were contriving to keep them apart.

"I'm here to see a patient," she said, though her patience was waning fast.

"May I ask the name?" the droid in a ridiculously pleasant voice.

Mara hesitated. Had Luke's real name been used, or a pseudonym, in an effort to avoid the holopress? She didn't have time for this. "Luke Skywalker," she said, just wanting to hurry up and get inside.

The droid's photoreceptors flashed momentarily. "You do not match the voice print or image scan of Luke Skywalker's allowed visitors. Access denied. Have a nice day."

Check that. Her patience was gone. She glanced around the corridor. Maybe a distraction would lure the kriffing thing away from its desk. Gravel maggots! The silver-plated picket was bolted to the console.

Mara's eyes narrowed as a white-clothed technician strode out of the ward, her identification badge swinging on an orange lanyard. She casually followed the young Ishi Tib toward a nearby employee locker room. Thank the Force, there was no droid monitoring the door. Slipping in unseen, she plucked a clean uniform tunic from a stack of laundry. Now all she needed was one of those I.D. tags.

Ah, the tech was changing clothes. And she'd carelessly hung her badge over the open locker door. One twitch of the Force, and the lanyard floated silently into Mara's outstretched hand.

Keeping her face turned away from the guard droid, Mara marched directly to the security panel next to the bacta chamber's door. Not daring to so much as peek over her shoulder, she slid the purloined I.D. into the access slot. The door smoothly slid open, and Mara slipped inside without waiting to see if the droid had triggered any alarms.

The room's low lighting gave a ghostly feel to the dozen bacta tanks lining the walls. They were all full, but Mara had no trouble finding Luke's at the far end of the row. His Force sense still felt fuzzy, but it was unmistakably him. His physical appearance was another matter.

The medic's clinical description of Luke's injuries hadn't done nearly enough to prepare Mara for the shock of his actual appearance. His entire body was crisscrossed with deep, jagged lacerations. Metal braces held his right leg and right arm immobile. Or rather, what was left of his right arm. She'd rarely thought of Luke's prosthetic hand, not even when they'd clasped hands to brace themselves above the firecreepers. Mara knew Luke was still self-conscious at times, though he hid it well. She hoped a new hand could be attached as soon as possible after he came out of the tank.

Forcing her eyes upward, Mara's breathing slowed as she gazed upon his face. His pale, lifeless, battered … beautiful face. She longed to cradle his head in her lap, caress his bruised cheek, brush his matted hair out of his eyes. He didn't deserve this. Of all the beings in the galaxy, Luke Skywalker deserved this least of all. Why couldn't it have been her airtaxi that was hit? Or some insignificant nobody?

Mara swiped at her eyes in shame. Luke would be so disappointed in her. He would be the first to put himself in harm's way to save some 'insignificant nobody.' She had theorized earlier that he may have manipulated events to save Artoo. Now she wildly wondered if the entire crash could have occurred out of a heroic need to save some other speeder about to be hit. Could Luke have actually moved a vehicle he wasn't piloting while it was zipping across lines of traffic? Did he have that much power? The details of the crash didn't indicate any such possibility, but reality for a Jedi was often overlooked.

Shaking her head wearily, Mara tried to clear her muddled mind. It didn't matter how the crash happened. She could quiz Luke after he recovered, after she hugged him, and kissed him, and scolded him for scaring her half to death. Right now she just wanted to be with him, sending him Force energy for healing, and sharing with him the warmth of her love.

Mara brought her fingertips to her lips, then pressed them against the cold smooth surface of the tank. "I love you, Luke," she whispered.

"Can I help you?"

Mara jerked around at the voice, mentally kicking herself for not sensing the man's approach. It was the doctor that was overseeing Luke's case.

"Ah…" Dr. Panio said, recognition replacing the frown on his face. "Miss … Jade, isn't it?"

Mara nodded. "I just … I needed to see him," she said unapologetically. "I had to see for myself that he was all right."

"He'll recover, given time," the medic replied, casting a critical glance Luke's way. "I know he's overcome more than one such ordeal."

"Too many," Mara agreed, her eyes also falling on Luke's battered form.

"You care for him." Dr. Panio raised an eyebrow. "Don't you?"

Turning away, Mara squelched the impulse to lash out at the man for not minding his own business. "He's my best friend," she murmured.

"I'll add you to the allowed visitor list," he said simply, then held out one hand. "So if I may return your 'borrowed' ID?"

Mara wordlessly handed over the badge, a half-smile conveying her gratitude. She spent the night slumped in one of the visitors' conform-chairs, slipping out when she felt Han and Leia arrive at the medcenter the next morning.

It was a pattern she would repeat for the next five nights.