Title: The Pitter-Patter of Little Feet

Author: Jedi-2B
Timeframe: A year or two after Union
Characters: Mara, Luke
Genre: Humor, one-shot
Summary: This is just a silly piece of nonsense. In no way does it reflect how I view Mara's character. It's a good thing she's fictional, or she might show up at my door and skewer me.
Notes: This was written for the Over 30 SW Writers Club October Challenge at theforce.net: Write a story about your favorite SW character overcoming a phobia or something that scares them. It can be silly or serious. One other character may be involved. Include the five senses (smell, sound, touch, taste, sight) in your story.

Thanks go to RebelMom for looking this over for me, and giving me the thumbs-up.
Disclaimer: We all like to think George Lucas would drool over our outstanding writing talents, but really, he has nothing to do with our ridiculous scribblings, and I'm sure he likes it that way.

The Pitter-Patter of Little Feet

"About time you got home," Mara Jade Skywalker grumbled as Luke walked in the door of their Coruscant apartment. As she accepted his kiss on the cheek, she kept looking over her shoulder toward the kitchen.

Following her line of sight, Luke was surprised to see a jumble of containers pulled out of the bottom cabinets. Even more astonishing was the footprints on top of their small dining table. "Have you been standing on the table? What's going on?" He glanced back at his wife, hovering at the edge of the kitchen doorway, and finally noticed she had a blaster gripped in one hand and her lightsaber in the other. "Are we under attack?" he said, his laugh fading away at Mara's returning glare.

"Mara?"

"It's still hiding in there," Mara bit out, waving her blaster toward the row of cabinets. "I can't get a clear shot."

"It being …?" Luke bent down and peered into one of the darkened enclosures. "I don't see anything."

"I told you, it's hiding." Mara edged over to a kitchen chair, looking ready to hop back up on the table at any moment. "One of those blasted scrap mice. I was reaching in there to get a box of your favorite teltiar noodles, and it ran right over my hand."

For about one second, Luke thought about jokingly asking if she had squealed like a girl, but then came to his senses. Mara already made it sound like this was somehow his fault. Instead he stuck one hand into the cabinet and began pushing cans and boxes aside, carefully keeping his back to his wife so she couldn't see the enormous grin on his face. Never in his wildest imagination would he have thought that Mara Jade, former Imperial assassin, newly knighted Jedi, would be scared of a mouse.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Skywalker," Mara ordered anyway. She knew him way too well.

Luke endeavored to follow her command as best he could. "I think it's gone, sweetheart," he said, standing up and wiping off the knees of his trousers. "I don't sense anything alive in there."

"It'll be back," Mara declared, her sharp emerald eyes sweeping across the kitchen floor. "We have to find the hole it came through and board it up."

Luke knew the unspoken translation was that he'd better find the hole and board it up. And quickly. Well, how often was he going to get the chance to rescue this particular damsel in distress? "I'll get right on it, dear."

"Don't patronize me, dear." Mara clipped her lightsaber to her belt, but kept the blaster loose in her grip. She warily nudged aside a stack of cans with the toe of her boot. "Just start clearing everything out. The little demons can squeeze through tiny openings, so be sure you don't overlook even the smallest crack."

Luke refrained from pointing out that just because a scrap mouse was spotted in a cabinet, didn't mean it entered from inside that same cabinet. The bothersome pests were known to catch a ride into a home from inside delivery packages, or just by scampering unnoticed through an opened door.

As he carefully searched the interior of all their storage cabinets, patching up every crack he could find, Luke couldn't help but find evidence that this hadn't been the first visit by one of the elusive vermin. It possibly even brought its friends. Ignoring the offensive odor, he hurriedly cleaned up the droppings before Mara saw them.

By mutual consent, Luke and Mara dined out that evening.

***

If Luke had been expecting the whole mouse incident to be over, he was sadly mistaken. Mara wore her boots until it was time to climb into bed. Her distracted responses to his romantic overtures were less than fulfilling.

"Do you hear something?" Mara whispered, waking Luke as she poked him in the ribs. It had to be after midnight, and he doubted that she had gotten any sleep yet.

"No," he muttered back, turning over on his stomach and pulling his pillow over his head.

Mara sat up abruptly. "I swear I heard scratching. I think it's coming from behind the wall."

"Don't worry, darling," came Luke's muffled voice. "I'll protect you."

Luke wasn't surprised when Mara grabbed the pillow and began thrashing him with it.

He didn't get any sleep the rest of the night, either.

***

"Look! Look!" Mara screeched as Luke sleepily wandered into the kitchen the next morning. She was holding out a box of breakfast biscuit mix with the longest pair of tongs they owned. "It gnawed a hole in the box and has been snacking on our food!"

"Hmmm, how do you know it isn't still inside the box?" Luke asked, flinching as Mara flung the box to the floor. Obviously the possibility hadn't occurred to her. Who is this woman, and what did she do with my wife?

"Don't you dare!" Mara bit out at Luke's raised eyebrow, poking him in the chest with the tongs. "Don't you dare spout out how they're more scared of me than I am of them. I am NOT scared of a scrap mouse, you understand?! I just don't care for them, and their tiny little claws, and their skinny tails, and those beady little eyes."

"Okay, okay!" Luke raised his hands in defense. "I never said you were."

"Humph." When nothing scampered out of the biscuit box, Mara gingerly picked it up and tossed it into the refuse bin. "I seem to recall you getting squeamish over some little crawly bugs when we were in the cave on Nirauan."

"Don't remind me," Luke admitted, bending over to help clean up the scattered crumbs. Darn, he had been looking forward to the taste of fresh-baked flatbread biscuits. He gave a weak smile. "Kolly's Diner for breakfast?"

***

After breakfast, Mara headed for the shopping district, saying she had some things to pick up. When Luke returned home a few hours later, the first thing he noticed was a little metal box sitting on the kitchen floor.

"What's this?" he called to Mara. She looked up from where she was studying the holonet screen, her legs crossed beneath her on her chair.

"A mouse droid," she drawled, shaking her head.

"I know that." Luke studied the squat device a moment longer. "What's it for?" he asked, though he had a pretty good suspicion what her answer would be. The enemy was infiltrating their apartment, and she'd declared war.

"It's an exterminator model," Mara explained, approaching the kitchen and looking rather proud of herself. She still had her blaster holstered at her hip, Luke noticed. "Can you believe, they actually make one that conforms to its name. It has bait in it that lures the prey inside, then it electrocutes them. Presto, no more scrap mice."

Luke frowned. "Don't you think that's rather … cruel?"

"Don't get all sanctimonious on me, Farmboy. It's a rodent!"

"I know, but still …" Maybe he could discreetly steer the poor mouse away from the trap. "Have you caught anything?"

"Not yet, but— Kriffin' stars!" Mara's blaster flashed out faster than Luke could blink, smoking a hole in the counter behind him. He whipped around just in time to catch sight of a hairless black tail disappearing behind their cooling unit.

"Mara!"

"Don't be lecturing me on how a Jedi should only use a lightsaber instead of a blaster," Mara complained, warily watching for any re-emergence of the pesky animal. "I don't feel like getting that close."

"Uh, yeah." Luke grimaced at the blackened hole in their counter. "I think there's an exception in the rules for ferocious beasts." And a lightsaber would cause just as much damage to our woodwork.

Mara glared at him, then cocked her head, listening. Faint squeaks drifted out from the space behind the cooling unit. "Pull that cooler out so we can get to it. I'm tired of playing nice."

Playing nice? He didn't think her early vendetta against him had been this aggressive. Grasping the front panel of the cooler, Luke grunted as he tugged the unit outward.

"Oh, for stars' sake, Luke. Use the Force."

"Weren't you the one lecturing me on unnecessary use of the Force?" he returned, panting lightly.

"I think there's an exception in the rules for ferocious beasts," Mara mimicked sarcastically.

Not even caring anymore if she saw him rolling his eyes, Luke stepped back and levitated the cooler away from the wall. Mara squawked in disgust as their gaze fell on a nest made of scraps of cloth and pasteboard, with a shivering mouse standing guard over three tiny babies.

"They're breeding!" she cried.

"Unlike us," Luke mumbled. At least someone was getting some action in this apartment.

"Stand clear so I can get a clean shot," Mara said, yanking on Luke's arm.

"Mara, you can't really mean to shoot a family," Luke protested, moving back forward to spoil her aim.

"A family?" Mara snorted. "They're vermin!"

"They're innocent, harmless animals."

Her shooting arm wavered only slightly.

"Mara…" Luke didn't need to say anymore. Mara wilted, finally lowering her blaster.

"I won't have them in my home," she declared. "If you're so hot to protect them, then get them far, far away from me."

Luke breathed a sigh of relief. "Get me a box to carry them in," he said. "Maybe Jacen would like them."

"You honestly think Leia wants rodents in her home?" Mara asked.

"Uh, probably not," Luke conceded. Though it would be funny to see Han going through what I have been the last couple days, Luke thought. He took the pasteboard box that Mara handed him, then set about trying to coax the creatures into captivity. The mother mouse squealed in terror, darting back and forth to protect her young. Luke finally had to resort to using the Force to hold the animals in place while he lifted the nest into the box. Grasping the mother, he showed it to Mara.

"You know, the best way to conquer your …" he nearly said 'fear' before catching himself, "dislike of something is to confront it head on." He held the trembling mouse out to his wife.

"I am not holding that thing!" Mara said vehemently.

"It won't hurt you," Luke said, sending soothing waves of the Force to the frightened creature. "I remember as a boy, I found a sand-mouse in our garage, and wanted to keep it as a pet. Aunt Beru told me it was probably a mother mouse, and that I'd better let it run home, so its babies wouldn't be orphans. I was an orphan, or at least I thought I was at the time, so I took the mouse outside and released it."

"Your aunt just didn't want it running around in her kitchen," Mara stated matter-of-factly, her shining eyes glancing around the room. "This family's Daddy Darth Vermin had better not be hiding somewhere in here."

"I don't sense any more of them," Luke assured her, ignoring the gibe to his parentage.

He continued to hold the mouse out, stroking its head softly. "Just touch it."

Mara groaned, but perhaps fearing Luke would stand there holding the mouse forever if she didn't comply, finally reached out tentatively and rubbed one finger on the back of the creature's head. "There, satisfied?"

"Yep." Luke grinned, lifting the box lid to allow the mother to rejoin her brood. Mara even relented enough to accompany him as they transported the little family to a secluded corner of a quiet city park, placing the nest out of the reach of any predators, near the rather odorous garbage bins that scrap mice seemed to love.

To Luke's relief, there was no pitter-patter of little mouse feet to interrupt their lovemaking that night, or ever again.

THE END

**No animals were harmed in the making of this story.**