Hello.  And welcome to this behind the scenes special introducing you to all the people and places that go into the production of Gays of Our Lives, and which help make it the world's favourite email!  We hope you'll stay with us as we go on a voyage of discovery, that may just uncover a few surprises! BEHIND THE SCENES ON GAYS OF OUR LIVES Gays of our Lives is read on 3 continents, and by some very stupid people.  So we're often asked, in highly unauthentic North American accents "Say, where is this Liverpool??"  or  "Gee, I'm confused - Chester??  Who's he?"  Well, let's take a look....

Our story takes place in the Northwest corner of England.  To the West, across the sea, is the land of leprachauns, Ireland.  To the East the land of fairies, Manchester.  To the North men wear skirts and women have moustaches.  We call this place Scotland.  And immediately to the South is a dreadful, dark, scarey abyss which is spoken of only in whispers and in tales to scare children and sheep.  Where phlegm is compulsory for everyone over the age of seven, and the national motto is "four legs good - two legs bad!"  Yes, Wales.    But enough of such things.  Gays of our Lives is centred on happier, brighter, gayer places.....

Our hero, "Gattino", lives in Liverpool.   And the place is so much better for his presence.  "Liverpool" said Jung "is the Pool of Life".  Jung, it has to be noted, was full of shite.  But she's not a bad old place and here she is: Ain't she pretty?  Yes, nearly a million people live in just these 3 buildings.  Oh and that boat.  There's stuff behind there but we don't like to talk about it.   Liverpool is twinned with Cologne, Odessa, Shanghai, Dublin, New Orleans, New York and wherever the city councillors feel like taking there holiday next year.  She's also twinned with a call girl named Tiffany, but we don't like to talk about her either.   Ungrateful bitch.

Of course much of our saga takes place in the neighbouring town of Chester, which as you can see from the map is about 25 miles to the south of Liverpool.  It's also a world away.   Chester is a picture book city of tudor buildings, cobble stone streets, Roman ruins and a colossus of the entertainment world called Giles Brandreth.  We owe it much.  It owes us more.  It's also of course the abode of Ben, the 69 inch pianist, Phil, whom we met in the now classic episode "Chester minute", Ben's best friend Mark and of course - who could forget - "Simon with the edible arse". Coach tours taking in all the key places of pilgrimage are available.

But we're often asked "What about the stars!?  Do they really exist?  What do they look like?  Are they as deeply dishy as I've always imagined??"  And my reply is "No, mother, they're not".  But for the rest of you we thought you'd enjoy a sneak look back stage to see the truth for yourselves...! (Please note:  names followed by an asterisk indicate a close, and convincing, lookalike has been used as the artiste was unavailable for filming.  All other images are of the real people and we can not be held responsible for any disappointment.)

In their spare time many of the stars of Gays Of Our Lives  (or GOOLIES as they're affectionately known) like to devote themselves to charity work for sick children, and to taking it up the arse.  Let's wish them luck, as we bid them a fond farewell and close this special, unique glimpse behind a global phenomenon.  Who knows?  Maybe we'll see you again soon!