03-11-02

Grandmommy,
I love you so very much and I will miss you even more. You were there for me for so long that it's almost inconceivable that you aren't any longer. I know that I haven't always been the "perfect" granddaughter and that I have made mistakes along the way, for this I am truly sorry. Lord knows that I never repaid you for all the things that you did for me throughout my life, and now I can't because you aren't here with me anymore.
I know that you wouldn’t want me to cry and to grieve for you, but I can’t help it. You were my ROCK and I hated to see you crumble over the past few months. I know that you are happy now and that YOU are where you want to be finally. I just don’t know how I am going to make it with you not here that’s all.
I am however, very thankful for the last few days that we had. As I heard you take your last breath my heart broke into a tra-zillion little pieces. But I knew that now you won’t ever have the pain that you’ve had for so long anymore. I can’t image the pain that you’ve carried of loosing not one, but both of your daughters. You were the strongest person that I ever knew. I love you mam-ma I love you so much.
With you being up the Angels now does give me some confront because I know that you will continue to watch over me and take care of me. I have two Angels now, you and momma sitting on my shoulder all of the time.
I want to say again here, thank you so much for everything that you have given me through the years. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong and to face things head on. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for just being there when I needed you the most. I hope that I don’t let you down as you continue to take care of me and my girls and grandbabies.
My love for you will never leave me, and that love will guide me as I take your place as the Matriarch of the family. I love you and I miss you, I will always be your Sugarplum.

3-12-02

Good morning Mam-mommy,
Well today marks one week since you left this earth. I just wanted to write to you to let you know that I have returned to the hospital to work where you passed last night to work. It was a little hard walking through the doors knowing that the last time I was there, was to say my final good bye to you and gather your things before the Funeral Home people carried you away.
At first I couldn't get past the room you were in. Then as the night went on and I finally got a spare minute I pulled myself up by my boot straps and walked into THE ROOM.
Thank you for holding my hand as we walked through the door and for being there while I just stared at the bed. I could almost see you there for a moment. As I sat on the bed I had to laugh at something that you use to say all the time. Remember you always said that the bed was for sleeping in and not for sitting on. I had to jump up real fast cause of that one mam-ma. Yes, I started to cry too. But then all of a sudden my tears stopped as I felt your kiss on my forehead and the pat on my bottom as you told me to get my butt back to work and to stop playing around...
Thank you for your guidance through the night. I know that I'm gonna be okay now. I'm not as scared anymore thanks to you and your loving touch. I love you Mam-ma. Always have, always will.
Rest easy Mam-ma cause as usual you've helped me through another tough situation.
I Love you,
Your Sugarplum