Computer Jokes
The
world's smartest man?
A
pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all
in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.
Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that
lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of
minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of
us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying
this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
"I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon.
"This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then
grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.
"I'm the smartest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The
world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute
and jumped out of the plane.
At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared
to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the
plane."
"You don't have to stay here! The world's smartest man jumped out of the
plane with my backpack."
AOL
addiction poem
My
computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart,
and got on their pc.
The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I
can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got
to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a
Psycho here and she has got to go!"
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my
wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"
I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How
low can I go?
So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.
Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!
Waiting
on a long line
The
checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the clerk
labored to get the new cash register to cooperate.
At one point she wailed "Oh no, NOW what do I do ? It just rang up
sixty-four thousand, five hundered seventy four dollars in sales tax on a
ten-dollar sale !"
Suprisingly, the customers in front of me didn't seem too upset by the delay.
Some even chuckled sympathetically. It wasn't until I got near the front of the
line that I saw the neatly hand-lettered sign in front of the register: WE ARE
CURRENTLY DOING BATTLE WITH OUR NEW COMPUTER FOR CONTROL OF THE STORE---WE
APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE.
