Golf Jokes
Slow
golfers are ahead of us
Joe
decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are
playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at
a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it
up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.
His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my wife and
the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and
started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to
ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.
Joe asked "what's wrong?" It's a small, small world Joe, and you're
fired"
The
problems with golf
The
only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and
the fast people always end up behind you.
I
want to buy a golf ball
A
blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf
balls," the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls
the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf
balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her,
"Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"
"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand
traps!"
Golfing
with an older man
A
young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare
one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in
nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old
gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as
he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join
him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far,
but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached
the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a
large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and
the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said,
"You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball
up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground
not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that
pine tree was only three feet tall."
