School Jokes
Do
you know who I am?
It
was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local
university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new
students, having over 500 students in the class!
The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The
professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his
desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half
of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for
an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated
sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began
writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students
filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his
desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of
exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The student looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air
of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of
superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed
exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Math
Problems
Young
Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the
clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each
"How much does that come to?" asked Larry.
"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."
"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?"
said the boy.
"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to
be irritated by all the questions.
Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the
items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with
it."
I
will do anything to pass
A
student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall,
closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him,
flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she
whispers, "...I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
