Part 11

Despite knowing that they had to talk, a month passed and April came upon them without a word being spoken to each other. However, they were good at giving each other lingering looks across any room that they both happened to find themselves in together. Justin was glad to have the distraction of Parent's Weekend to keep his mind off of Josh.

Parent's Weekend was a huge thing at Olmwood, so it seemed that everyone on the school was on a committee helping to get the school ready for the onslaught. Justin was on the decorations committee with Nick, Lance, and Joey, while Josh was on the activities committee, which ensured that the two did not see much of each other. Justin had been planning on that. He had decided to talk to Josh right after Parent's Weekend, and he'd figured that everyone would be so occupied with their parents that he could use that time to get his thoughts together.

Fate, however, seemed to not be aware of Justin's plan.

He had been sitting at his desk that Friday night doing homework. Tyler had gone with Josh to pick up his parents from the airport. Justin's father had a meeting, so they wouldn't be able to come, which was killing his mother. Justin didn't mind, though, and had planned to have the room to himself and just relax since Tyler told him that his parents always got them an extra hotel room to stay in. He was just closing his book when Tyler barged in with two people who were obviously his parents behind him.

"Mom, Dad, here is my roommate Justin. He's from Memphis. And now we have ruined the time that he was planning to have away from me."

Justin chuckled. "Whatever, Ty. Like I really mind you being here. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chasez," Justin greeted, holding out his hand.

"Please, call me Karen. And he's Roy." Karen Chasez admonished, shaking Justin's hand.

"We were just going to dinner, Justin, and when Ty told us that his roommate was in the room all alone, we came to insist that you come with us. And we won't take no for an answer." Roy boomed, giving off the presence of a powerful man. Justin had a feeling that many people didn't say no to Roy often. So, Justin nodded and went to the bathroom to change his clothes while Roy went around to get the car.

When Justin came out of the bathroom, he sat on the bed talking with Karen and Tyler when the door suddenly opened and in came a voice. "Hey, Mom, do you know where Dad is?"

Justin felt his heart stopped as he caught sight of Josh. Then he realized that Josh would be coming to. Justin had almost forgotten that Tyler and Josh were brothers, and of course Josh would be there at a dinner with his own parents. Justin felt his throat close up and he wondered if he would hyperventilate.

"He's getting the car." Karen answered. "I was just here talking to Justin. You two know each other, right?" At Josh's nod, she continued. "Well, good. That means that you and Tyler haven't been completely ignoring each other."

Justin wanted to tell her that he and Josh's association had nothing to do with Tyler, but he settled on giving her a weak smile instead.

Justin said as little as possible during dinner, hoping that he could disappear, or at least go somewhere far away from Josh's piercing gaze. Thankfully, Roy took that moment to turn his attention to Josh. "So, we never finished that talk we were having during Christmas break." he said to Josh.

Justin watched as Josh flinched, and he had a feeling that this was a conversation that he shouldn't be hearing. "Dad, I don't know why this has to be such an issue." Josh groaned.

Roy's eyes hardened as he looked at his son. "Because it is. There's no way you can run Chasez Oil if you're going around majoring in music. And I saw that acceptance letter from Harvard on your desk. Why haven't you answered them and told them that you're coming?"

"Because I don't want to go to Harvard. And I don't want to run Chasez Oil. Music is my life! Don't you understand?" Josh's voice was beginning to take on a desperate quality.

"No, Josh, you don't understand. There's only one path here and you're going to take it. You want to study music? Fine! But you're going to do it on your own. You do this Josh, and you'll have to make it without my support. That means physically, emotionally, and financially. You hear me?"

The table got quiet as Roy's words sunk in. The rest of the dinner was finished in silence.

_ _ _

Tyler's parents did rent out two extra rooms, one for Josh and one for Tyler, so Tyler invited Justin to stay with him along with Nick and Chris whose parents also couldn't come. Chris's parents couldn't afford it, and Nick…well, his mother seemed to be more caught up in what her kids could do for her, instead of trying to make them happy. Justin could tell that Nick was glad that she wasn't coming.

So while the three of them were buying hotel porn and calling room service, Justin just laid in bed thinking about Josh. Especially how he looked when his father basically told him that he would disown him if he went after his dream. And music truly was Josh's passion. Justin remembered how he would talk excitedly to Justin about etudes and overtures while they were lying in bed together. Justin smiled, remembering the time that he told Josh that he played guitar, and how Josh had pulled him out of bed and pulled him half-naked to his room to get the guitar and show Josh how to play it. He loved seeing the look of complete contentment on Josh's face every Thursday at convocation while he played the organ.

"Hey, Ty, I'm going out for some fresh air, okay?" he muttered as he slid out of bed and out of the hotel suite to the room next door. Josh's room. Before he could lose his nerve he knocked and the door opened to reveal a red-eyed Josh.

"So, have you come to yell at me again and make me feel worse that I do already?" Josh asked sadly, turning away from the door to sit down on the floor in front of the TV.

"No." Justin protested as he slid through the rapidly closing door. He watched as Josh took a swig from a bottle that was perched between his legs. Justin slid down to the floor next to Josh. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. And if you decided what you were going to do."

"Didn't you hear? I'm going to Harvard." Josh smirked, but the pain was evident in his voice. He took another swig of what Justin could now see was tequila. He held it to his mouth again, but Justin pulled it away, forcing Josh to look at him.

"I'm really sorry about that, you know? That you have to go to Harvard and study business. I know how much music means to you."

Josh gave a small smile. "At least somebody knows. God, Justin, music is my life. I can't breathe without it. And he wants to take it away from me so I can fit into some plan he's had for me since before I was born. It's not fair." He pierced Justin with his bright blue gaze and told him evenly. "I need my music so much. It's all I've had since I've lost you."

Justin's breath caught. He wanted to look away, but he was pinned by Josh's eyes and all the emotion in them. Guilt, pain, desire, and most of all love was in that gaze. He knew that no one would ever look at him like that ever again. He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Josh frowned and looked at his hands.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me. When I think about what I said to you that night…God, I can't see why you'd ever forgive me. I'm so sorry, Justin, I truly am. But I've been dying here with out you." Josh pleaded, his voice in a whisper.

Justin felt the tears choking him. He moved closer to Josh, nuzzling his face in Josh's neck. "Me, too," he choked out. "It's been killing me too."

Josh looked at him and turned his face, catching Justin's lips with his. He tasted like tequila and strawberries, and Justin moaned at the contact. Justin answered by tilting his head back and opening his mouth slightly, letting Josh's tongue dive in and pull Justin's tongue into his mouth. Clumsily, they fell back to the floor, Josh on top of Justin, kissing him with all that he had in him. Josh nibbled on Justin's bottom lip before diving back into Justin's mouth. Justin wondered if he could die from too much pleasure.

Or from too much love.

Josh pulled Justin onto the bed, still kissing him. "I don't want to have sex tonight." Josh told him, trying to kiss and speak at the same time. "I just want to hold you okay? Everything's been so crazy tonight and I just need something solid. Something tangible. I need to hold you." With that he wrapped his arms around Justin and buried his face in Justin's curls. "I'm not saying that everything's gonna be perfect now. I still have the same issues. But the difference is, I want to try to make this thing with you work, Justin. I really do care for you, even if I might not always show it. So, just be patient with me, please?"

Justin nodded, and kissed Josh's nose. "Infinitely so." he agreed, holding Josh tight, relishing the fact that he was again in the arms of the man he loved.

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