Part 22

“Ey, J, where are you?”

Justin snuck closer to Slim, still crouching down behind the crates in the alley.

“Yea, I’m right here.” he whispered back and turned around, checking for Marcelle, Dee and Mario.

Slim turned around and caught his eye. “When the owner closes up, start, alright?”

Justin nodded and cocked his gun quietly, turning his attention the old man wobbling from the store entrance, key in hand. Slim nodded and once the first shot rang out, everyone on the street ducked or hid, Justin pulling his trigger quickly.

The small mom and pop cafe was dressed in gun shots, shattered glass and dented seats, people watching as shots fired away.

When they had all ran out of clips, they being Slim, Marcelle, Justin, Dee and Mario, they all ran through the alley, running against the side of a beat up old apartment building.

They could hear the shouts following them and they didn’t need to turn around to know that there were people that saw them but that’s what made it good, that’s what gave you the rush. Having people know that you were the one who did it, but not being able to touch you.

When they were safely in 118, they sat in Mario’s basement, basking in the glory of their play.

“Damn, you think they knew it was comin’?” Marcelle asked, taking the joint from his mouth.

Slim shook his head. “Nah, they shoulda though. Dumb bitches was schemin’ on us. One of ‘em fucked with a bet of mine. They should know to watch they backs.”

Justin took the joint from Marcelle and took a long drag, swallowing quickly. “Shit.” he cursed, trying not to let his breath out.

“Hey, J. Where you goin’ after this?”

“What you mean?” he asked, blinking as his eyelids fell heavy. “Hmm.”

Slim nudged Mario and they shared a laugh. “He means you goin’ back to that pig’s house?”

Justin took another swift hit, passing the blunt as he held his breath. “Yeah...” he droned on, his head falling forward as a long giggle slipped from his lips.

“Shit, he’s high already? This is bomb ‘dro.” Mario remarked and Justin moved to lie down on the couch, the colors of the posters up above swirling.

The other four men talked of business, of their block and how to help it along since it had been a slow winter while their fifth laid on his back, his fingers outstretched towards a stripe of vibrant blue.

Through the hazy gray of his mind, written inside that brilliant blue was one word. One name.

JC.

JC didn’t ask when Justin entered his apartment at seven in the morning. He didn’t want to know and he was too pissed to say anything relatively nice. And right now, he didn’t want to upset Justin anymore because that proved to accomplish nothing.

The young man, deprived from sleep, was tired and once he stepped through the threshold he fell to the floor, spreading out as he closed his eyes. He waited for JC to come close and ask him what was wrong, to simply lay with him.

JC stepped over him, a heel digging into his fingers before the bedroom door slammed shut and Justin raised his head, slightly aware that JC was angry.

He rose, though it took him a good five minutes to do so, and padded over to the bedroom door, not knocking as he waltzed right in. JC was there, sitting on the bed and eating, his head turned down.

Justin drifted to the bed and curled up near JC, missing the usual affection. He had thought about it before. He was scared and he’d admit it. But he also knew that he kind of needed JC and Marcelle was right, he shouldn’t be a pussy because he might be the one to ruin it then.

“C.”

“What?” was the snappy reply and Justin opened an eye.

“What’s up your ass?”

JC shifted and continued to eat his cereal. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, that’s sure nothing.”

“Whatever.”

Justin sat up and raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I said nothing, God.”

Justin narrowed his eyes. “Don’t fuck around like that.”

“Fuck you.”

Justin, whose eyes showed how shocked he was, licked his dry lips. He quickly took the bowl from JC’s hands and put it on the nearby nightstand.

“Excuse me?”

JC rolled his eyes and slid underneath the covers, lying on his stomach, his face pressed into the pillow.

“JC, what the fuck?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

Justin growled and yanked back the covers, grabbing JC’s arms as he pulled the brunette up. “The fuck you aren’t. You tell me right now why the hell you’re actin’ like a little bitch.”

JC frowned, his face set. “You started it.”

“Me?”

“Yes you! This morning you were nothing but an ass to me and then you leave for the rest of the day AND night and I have no idea where you are-”

“You don’t need to know where I am-”

“Yes, I do.” he said slowly as he interrupted and Justin opened his mouth to reply but no words formed instead staying in his throat.

The silence was stuffy and disturbing.

“I’m sorry.” JC apologized, just wanting the tense air to lift.

Justin though kept his mouth shut as he stared up at JC, his eyes scrutinizing.

“Ok.”

JC shook his head, anger biting at his fingertips. “Ok.” he muttered and swallowed thickly.

Justin sat back and watched. Watched with soft eyes because JC was still his and his hands itched to just be able to touch the brunette as he lie there, eyes closed, face relaxed. Shit, this wasn’t going to work no matter how hard he tried.

“When I look at you, I get scared sometimes because I can see Shane in your eyes. Ya know? I see you as Shane. You got me through the heart and that ain’t supposed to happen. Now ya know, you’ll get ideas and run off, knowing I’m not worth shit.” Justin whispered and looked down at his fingernails. “I wanted to leave you first.”

JC opened his eyes slowly and stared at Justin.

“You push me away and it’s going to hurt more.” JC warned and turned around, reaching for the blankets.

Part 23
Tricky Index