Weird But True
Ever have that 1 customer that calls in and every time someone talks to them it's like being in the Twilite Zone? Well I work for an ISP and we keep logs of people that we speak with and a summary of what they say the problem is and what we did to fix it so the next time they call we know what's going on or what's been done.
This is a log of one of our "special" customers and all the different situations each of our techs had to deal with so to speak (I personally haven't spoken to him but have looked up his username). This was directly copied and pasted, only things that have been changed were his name, things dealing directly with us, and a few corrected misspelling’s that I could find.
Posted on: 10/09/97 04:26:00 PM
Reason: I have no idea what the heck he is talking about. Clicking OurISP icon and getting MSN. Obviously doesn't know computers.
Result: Attempted to explain the whole computer thing.
Comments:
Posted on: 10/25/97 06:35:00 PM
Reason: Intelligent Java creatures have taken over my computer
Result: Huh? Call Sun Micro System and talk to them
Comments:
Posted on: 11/01/97 11:04:00 PM
Reason: Not him again....
Result: wants to know how to quit MSN??? superhuman virus again GAWD WHY ME! now wants to know if we have any software database where he can get files go to a book store.
Comments:
Posted on: 12/04/97 01:53:00 PM
Reason: error message: protocol is not configured properly.
Result: can’t get him to co-operate, he just talks and talks and talks, told help desk and they are going to see if they can find someone to deal with him
Comments:
Posted on: 12/04/97 03:18:00 PM
Reason: general settings
Result: spent an hour just trying to check settings
Comments: this guy is pretty crazy... thinks his browsers are alive, his connectoids killed his call centre icon.. referred to Netscape as a creature
Comments:
Posted on: 12/05/97 10:00:00 AM
Reason: He doesn’t know, keeps asking if we have a news service
Result: helped him set-up newsgroups, guy is WHACKED! he keeps referring to his computer as if its alive refers to Netscape as his sweetheart
Comments:
Posted on: 12/05/97 11:47:00 AM
Reason: i was wondering when i would get to talk to this guy... 'his greatest joy' (Netscape) was lost during a virus. can't load ie4.
Result: referring to the virus as 'them' and his software as 'him'. this is most entertaining. :) lol minimize=cocoon
Comments:
Posted on: 12/06/97 01:45:00 PM
Reason: virus ate up anti virus program...
Result: how to use yahoo..
Comments:
Posted on: 12/27/97 04:29:00 PM
Reason: Oh my god not him! Started to tell me his problem but then had to hang up
Result: lucked out! woo-hoo!
Comments:
Posted on: 01/06/98 12:18:00 AM
Reason: last couple days-memory errors, connect problems ok now though
Result: rambling
Comments: "I’ve got this little guy called netmedic, I don’t know if you’ve met him, I’m not sure I can trust him"
Posted on: 01/08/98 09:09:00 PM
Reason: his netmedic friend is giving his Netscape problems
Result: told him uninstall it
Comments:
Posted on: 01/09/98 12:58:00 PM
Reason: Oh God, not this one!
Result: Never found out what the problem was. Kept saying that Netscape was mad at him.
Comments:
Posted on: 04/03/98 06:49:00 PM
Reason: server asked him to do something and he didn't so the server grabbed the browser and through it against the wall, he was squeezing the crap out of him
Result: I have no clue, two files followed him from site to site now they are on his machine.
Comments:
Posted on: 04/23/98 04:44:00 PM
Reason: babbling, says the Microsoft’s server killed two of his browsers, says they entered his ship, "he materialised himself on the page"
Result: sounds like he doesn’t have all his oars in the water, told him to email
Posted on: 04/29/98 06:46:00 PM
Reason: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Result: had a problem... had him try connecting, no problem...he started talking about mutating viruses.
Comments:
Posted on: 04/29/98 07:50:00 PM
Reason: cant get web pages (from his desktop). says all five Netscape’s are not flying.
Result: assisted in aerodynamics. added dns in dun and config'd network. great now he is having problems with his ship and signals
Comments: he picked username "Xxxxx" cuz that is the name of any magical creature especially in James Stewart movies
Posted on: 05/03/98 05:07:00 PM
Reason: cool! I got Xxxxx! How can I help you Xxxxx? Well blah blah blah!!!! (Not really sure what the problem is)
Result: talked a bit, explained a few things about life and computers and life with computers. one problem after another, this is fun.
Comments: I actually like this guy, he has character!
Posted on: 05/11/98 09:47:00 PM
Reason: having problems with win 98 beta. gets msg computer not answering
Result: checked DUN settings and corrected told him to try that, and that we don't support win98
Comments: said the control panel walks around in win 98, I would like to see that feature.
Posted on: 05/17/98 01:34:00 PM
Reason: questions about 56k modems - I think
Result: answered, I hope
Comments: he's surprisingly coherent today
Posted on: 06/01/98 02:37:00 AM
Reason: he couldn’t connect
Result: i got him fixed and listened to him talk about the Java creatures for about an hour
Comments:
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Mike Boyle