Vermonter Liz Anderson tells us she has gotten her hands on a bunch of the British military's officer-evaluation reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines is the S206.The following are actual excerpts taken from people's S206s:
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not breed from this officer.
- This officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
- This officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- When he joined my ship, this officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
- This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them
- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
- This officer should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.
- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet.
- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
(From the San Jose Mercury News Wire Services.)
- Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room temperature IQ.
- Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together.
- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse then an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
- One-celled organisms out score him on IQ tests.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- He's so dense, light bends around him.
- If brains were to give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
- The light is on, but no-one is home.
- Would be more productive banging his head against a brick wall.
- The elevator goes up, but doesn't quite reach the top.
