Home | Gallery | Forum | About Mike | "Weird But True" | Links
Mikes Piccies logo
Search Google
You are in: Home | "Weird But True" | Sayings and Writings | Sledging in Sport Site Map

Weird But True
Sledging in Sport

From: Paul.R.Lamming@north.com.au Date: 21/01/2000 08:43

Among today's players, few sledge more enthusiastically than Shane Warne. During Australia's last tour of South Africa it was rumoured that Daryll Cullinan had been consulting a psychologist to exorcise the demons that appeared whenever Warne removed his hat. No sooner had Cullinan arrived at the crease than Warne snarled: "I'm going to send you straight back to your shrink."

The right words can intimidate and demoralise. In 1989, a young Phil Kearns packed down opposite the All Black rough nut Sean Fitzpatrick. Amid the grinding of shoulders, Kearns became aware he was being spoken to: "What are you doing here, Kearns? You don't belong here. You're just a little boy. Why don't you go home to mummy?"

Similar sentiments greeted basketball player Andrew Gaze in one of his first appearances in the NBA. The giant black dude he was supposed to contain lit up at the sight of the Australian: "Oh Hell, I got a slow white boy on me, a rookie. Hell, he's soooo slow! Gimme the ball, man. Gimme the ball! I'm gonna dunk it down on this white boy's heeeead."

Sledging is often personal. One reason Warne is quick to taunt Cullinan is that the South African is fond of making remarks about Warne's girth - "Leave us some lunch, fat boy" being one of his favourites. Similarly, Ian Healy once became frustrated with an overweight batsman from a South African provincial side who seemed not the least interested in scoring runs. Eventually Healy called to the bowler: "Why don't we put a Mars bar on a good length to see if we can lure him out of his crease?"

Targets of sledging sometimes manage a killer reply. On one occasion, an English county bowler was having surprising success against the great West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls. Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, it's red and it's round." A steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told the bowler: "You know what it looks like, man - go fetch it."

More recently, Merv Hughes was being Merv, aiming constant abuse at English batsman Robin Smith. But having been told that he "couldn't bat to save his f***ing life," Smith smashed a four, walked down the pitch and said: "Make a good pair, don't we? I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

Sledging sometimes amounts to threats. This example needs dusting off, but it's good. In the 1960's, the St George forward Kevin Ryan was considered rugby league's hardest man. He was running amok one day against Balmain, who called an emergency meeting which resolved that prop George Piper would stop Ryan by any means possible. Piper subsequently hit his target with the best punch he'd ever thrown, claiming later it would have ripped the head off a bullock.

But Ryan merely looked at him and said mildly: "Not a bad one, George. Yours is coming."

Probably to save his skin, Piper managed to get himself sent off shortly after.

One time, when David Boon was proving hard to dislodge, West Indies quick Malcolm Marshall asked him: "Are you going to get out soon, David, or do I have to come around the wicket and kill you?"

In 1994, Allan Border told South African all-rounder Brian McMillan: "For a big bloke, you don't bowl very fast." He got no reaction - until lunch, when McMillan burst into the Australian dressing room and told Border to repeat the slur while the South African pointed a pistol at Border's head.

If that seems over the top, it was child's play compared to comments allegedly directed at New Zealand's Chris Cairns by two Australian players. It was claimed the players had made "choo choo" noises at Cairns, whose sister had been killed in a recent train accident. The story was denied by all parties.

Sledging can be plain amusing. It's unlikely Merv Hughes was thinking tactically when he told a struggling English batsmen: "I'll bowl you a f***ing piano, ya Pommie pooftah. Let's see if you can play that."

And in the late 1980s Paul Vautin chuckled despite himself when he watched his St Helens rugby league coach, Alex Murphy, deliver a spray for the ages to a referee. Grabbing him in a headlock at halftime, Murphy spat: "Lookit, ya fut bastid. You're a bludy disgrace, you are. You can't keep oop with play - why don't you get out and do some trainin'? Look at your big fut goots hangin' over them shorts. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You make me sick, you do."

If there's an all-time great sledger, it's Muhammad Ali. He could be funny, outrageous, pointed or scary. As he touched gloves with George Foreman before the "Rumble In the Jungle," he eyeballed the man many predicted would destroy him and said: "You've heard about me for years. Now you've got to face me." A personal favourite was delivered in the lead-up to the same fight. At the end of a typical Ali rant that lasted five minutes, he paused, frowned, and as though he'd just that second thought of it, announced: "You know, I don't like George Foreman. He talks too much."

But to sledge is to play with fire. In 1975, NSW paceman Dave Colley had his first look at a swaggering Viv Richards and wasn't taken with what he saw. When he bowled to Richards he was treated with contempt until he dug in a bouncer. The ball clipped Richards's head, was caught by the keeper and the umpire raised his finger. Richards stood his ground and pointed to his head, prompting Colley to growl: "Listen you #*!@. There's nothing in there. Have a look at the scoreboard and then f*** off." At the end of the day, as the NSW players filed next door for a drink, they noticed the West Indies' dressing room had been converted into something that looked terribly like a makeshift boxing ring. Sure enough, Richards appeared wearing gloves, shorts and nothing else, dancing and snorting. The NSW boys shot into reverse, locking their own door behind them. It took the matey diplomacy of Doug Walters to dissuade Richards from depositing Colley on to the nearest asteroid.

During a WSC final at the SCG where the game had been shortened due to rain and the atmosphere was running at about 95% humidity a very exhausted Arjuna Ranatunga appealed that he had "sprained" something. He duly asked the umpire for a runner. As clear as a bell through the effects mic you heard Healey's legendary reply "you don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c#$%".

You are in: Home | "Weird But True" | Sayings and Writings | Sledging in Sport Site Map
Copyright © 1999-2001, Mike Boyle
Home | Gallery | Forum | About Mike | "Weird But True" | Links