*****~~~~~~*****%%%%%*****#########*****^^^^^++++++****$$$


Pacey's eyes were starting to get heavy when Doug banged on his bedroom door, jolting him awake.

"Little bro!?" he said loudly "There's a girl here to see you!"

Pacey groaned and reluctantly sat up, rubbing at his eyes "What??.....Who?"

"She says her name is Josephine Potter" Doug said questioningly.

Pacey got up quickly, Pulling on a t-shirt, he opened the door wide to see a tired and cranky older brother, and just behind him a flustered Joey Potter.

Pacey motioned for Joey to come into his room, and smiled cheekily at his older brother "G'night Deputy Doug.."

Pacey shut the door abrubtly behind him and rushed over to Joey who was sitting dis-contentedly on his bed
"Joey? you alright?...your father didn't...I mean, everythings okay right?"

Joey smiled warmly "Everything is fine, really" she said, looking at him in his boxers, his hair all messy, and his eyes all squinty "I'm sorry I woke you...."

"I wasnt asleep" Pacey replied, half smiling he continued "I had a few things to think about..."

Joey nodded uncomfortably "right..."

Pacey grinned widely and plonked down next to Joey on his bed "Not that I mind having a beautiful girl in my room in the middle of the night, but why did you decide to come back?"

Joey shrugged offhandedly "Its a long story"

"Thats okay..."Pacey said, leaning against the bed-head and grinning "we've got all night.. so shoot!"

Joey sighed "Well, you see I was walking through that park, y'know the one along side the creek?"

Pacey nodded

"Well I was walking through there and I....and I ..uhm..I got to thinking about you, thats all" Joey said, hoping she didnt sound as unconvincing as she felt

Pacey chuckled and raised his eyebrows "You're right, that is the longest story I've ever heard"

Joey giggled and punched him playfully "harti har har" she said sarcastically

"So..." Pacey said, his tone turning serious, he moved closer to Joey "What things were you thinking about me?"

"Oh just how I was going to dispose of your body after I brutally murdered you with a jaffle iron" Joey said simply.

Pacey grinned, leaning into her he whispered "Good luck with that". Cupping her face with his hands, he kissed her softly and she responded, moving closer to him and deepening the kiss, loving the silken feel of his mouth on hers.

Joey broke the kiss suddenly, Pacey looked at her puzzled.

"How long have you and Jack been friends?" Joey asked

"Since we were little, I suppose about 12 years..." Pacey said, blatantly confused "why are you asking me about this now?"

"What? I cant ask questions?" Joey growled

Pacey sighed "Of course you can Jo, I just thought we were in the middle of something, I thought it was a special moment between us, and then you start asking me questions about my best friend....?"

"I'm sorry" Joey said quietly "Its just, Jack..he.."

"What about Jack?" Pacey asked

Joey cleared her throat, she couldnt tell him "It's nothing"

"Nothing?" Pacey asked sceptically

"I was just wondering how he was doing, y'know" Joey said quickly

Pacey grinned "He's gonna be fine Jo, people will get over to the whole 'gay' thing soon enogh, Jacks one of the ggod guys, and he's pretty tough too..."

//I'll say//Joey thought, but she just nodded and hugged Pacey closer to her.

**********************************************************


Jack and Jen sat high in the bleachers, talking and laughing quietly about the people milling about below then. Jen was munching loudly on a breakfast bar, while Jack was drawing his name and various other symbols on her arm with blue pen.

"What about Cliff?" Jen asked, gesturing with her head "He's very butch...classic good looks...very manly...?"

"No way known, we are NOT going there" Jack laughed

"Whaft?" Jen asked, her mouth full of food "Cwiff ish'nt tat baad!"

"I'm surprised how well I understood that sentance" Jack said, wrinkling up his nose and grinning widely

Jen swallowed quickly "You're avoiding my question"

Jack shook his head "I'm not have THAT conversation with you Jennifer, not ever.." He paused, drawing another line on her arm "There's noone in this school that interests me anyway..."

Jen looked at him incredulously " 'cept for Pacey Witter..."

Jack narrowed his eyebrows and mock-glared "Jen, if you bring that up once more, I will be forced to rip out your tounge...which I'd say would be unpleasant for both of us... "

"mmmmmm, ..toungey" Jen said nodding and grinning.

Jack smiled "If you must know" he said quietly "I'm saving myself for Tom Cruise..."

Jen giggled "damn, he was my choice.."

*****


Pacey walked down the hallway, pushing through other students to get to his locker, a half smile on his face as he remembered last night. Joey kissing him, her arms around him. He could barely remember a time that compared to how he had felt with her in his arms, her soft breath on his neck. It felt great.

*****

"Hi Guys" Joey said cheerfully as she approached Dawson and Abby "How are we this morning?"

Dawson sighed "Terrible!, I cant wait till tomorrow when this damn assignment will be over" He threw some books into his locker "I'll never have to talk to Jennifer Lindley again and our lives will be back to normal!"

"Yeah" Abby agreed, rolling her eyes "It's been a barrel of laughs working with such an invalid" she put her arm around Joey's shoulders "..It must have been hell for you Jo, I mean working with Gay McPhee and that other dumbass Pacey Witter, I would have offed myself ages ago.. "

Joey cleared her throat, smiling nervously "uhm...yeah. It was pretty bad.."

At that moment Joey saw Pacey in the distance standing next to his locker, when he saw her he smiled and waved. Joey looked down quickly, hoping he'd think she hadn't seen him.

Dawson snorted and Abby began to giggle "Looks like the reject thinks he made a friend..."

Joey laughed weakly, keeping her eyes on the ground, she felt horrible.

"Hey Joey..." Pacey yelled.

"Um guys.. lets go" Joey said quickly, grabbing Abby and Dawson's arms "We'll be late for class..."

"No way" Abby said, chuckling slightly "I want to see what this moron wants..."

"Id be interested..." Dawson conceded, eyeing Joey suspiciously.

"Hey Joey, Howsit going?" Pacey said as he approached her.

Joey smiled stiffly, a red tinge on her cheeks "Hello Pacey" she stuttered

"Hi Abby, ..Dawson" Pacey said

Abby tried to supress her laughter "...Hello Pacey darling.."

Dawson just raised his eyebrows and looked at Pacey dismally

Joey took a deep breath, avoiding Paceys eyes "Did you want to know something about our assignment?"

Pacey stared at her, confused "What? no.. I just wanted to talk to you...I mean, after last night-"

"Last night?" Abby snorted with laughter "This is just getting better and better..."

Dawson looked at Joey questioningly "Whats he talking about Jo?"

"I have no idea..." Joey said, grimacing as soon as she had.

Realization hit Pacey and he glared at her, his jaw locked in anger and hurt "My mistake I guess...sorry to interrupt you Josephine"
Pacey turned quickly and walked away.

Joey winced, furious at herself. She couldnt believe how gutless she had been, she liked Pacey so much, and had thrown it all away because she was scared of what her friends would think. //pathetic//

*****

Jen pushed Jack out the doorway "....As if thats not bad enough, -we're gonna be late to class because of you!" she growled, but grinning widely in spite of her self.

"Its not my fault!" Jack protested, chuckling "you let me!"

"Yeah, but you failed to tell me the pen was permanent!" Jen scolded "Im going to have 'Jack is the best' tatooed on my arm for the rest of the week!"

Jack laughed hysterically "It true though!"

Jen began to say something when Pacey stormed past her, almost bowling her over in the process.

"Pace?" Jen said after him

"@#%$ off" Pacey yelled angrily

Jack and Jen looked at one another and ran to catch up with him.


*****

Jack banged angrily on the classroom door, till Mrs Vaughan opened it, looking at him unimpressed. "Shouldnt you be in Mr Peterson's class?"

"I need to speak to Joey Potter!" Jack insisted "Its very important"

Mrs Vaughan sighed "JOEY!" turning back to Jack she continued "fifteen minutes"

Jack nodded and Joey appeared at the doorway, looking down when she saw who it was. Jack grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.

>
"What the hell is going on!?" Jack asked angrily "I thought you liked Pacey!?"

"I do" Joey said guiltily

Jack looked at her, eyebrows raised "You have a shitty way of showing it!"

Joey sighed "I didnt mean to hurt him, ..its my friends, they wouldnt understand..."

"If your 'friends' can't learn to understand and accept these kind of things then they arent friends worth having" Jack said annoyed.

"I know" Joey protested "But Ive known them most of my life, and I know what they're like...especially Dawson"

Jack sighed, glaring at her "All the more reason for them to be there for you now... Pacey obviously means very little to you if-"

"I love Pacey!" Joey cried, desperation creeping into her voice

Jack closed him eyes and exhaled loudly "He loves you..."

"And you love him..." Joey said softly

Jack turned to look at her sharply "What! Who told you that! I never heard anything so stupid in my entire life! It's not true...its not! You have no idea what you are talking about"

"Jack I overheard you and Jen talking.." Joey said softly "I wont tell anyone, I havent said anything to Pacey...but I think you should..."

Jack's face fell, and he turned away from her "Pacey loves you Joey... you shouldn't throw away someone as wonderful as him because you think a few people wont approve..."

Joey watched Jack walk away.


*******
***********************************************************


Jack stormed back into school, seeing Jen coming straight toward him he turned in the opposite direction, he didnt want to talk to anyone right now...

"Where the hell'd you go?" Jen asked, exasperated, running to catch up to Jack "Pacey was really upset, he'd barely got the words out of what had happened, and you ran off like a mad man"

"I went to talk to Joey" Jack said sullenly

"oh" Jen replied softly "you... what did you say to her?"

"It doesn't matter" Jack snapped "It's done."

Jen grabbed his arm sharply bringing him to a halt "It does matter!"

"Why Jen? Why does it matter?!" Jack yelled, starting to attract the attention of other students.

Jen looked disdainfully at the gathering crowd, and pulled Jack roughly into a small empty classroom, used only for special ed. students.

Jen took a deep breath and looked at Jack "You know why it matters what you said to her" she said sternly.

"Humour me" Jack growled, leaning back against a desk.

Jen spluttered over her words "It matters because the way ...the way you feel about..I mean, you are predjudiced because...I mean, you shouldnt be..pushing Joey away.... y'know,..um.. Pacey's feelings should be the main porogative here...not...not yours..."

Jack looked at Jen, his eyebrows raised in annoyance "You think I went to Joey, all jealous and spiteful, and told her to stay away from Pacey? ..that she is a horrible person for him? ..that she doesnt deserve him?"

"Did you?" Jen asked quietly, looking directly at Jack.

Jack glared back at her, swallowing hard "That you even asked me that question undermines our entire friendship Jen"
He paused, looking down at the ground, his voice wavering "..I love Pacey, It's so ...so important to me that he's happy, I...I dont understand how you could ever think that about me Jen.."

Jack began to walk away, but Jen grabbed his hand "Jack-"

"Don't!" Jack yelled, pulling away from her sharply "Dont touch me!"

Tears began to well up in Jen's eyes "Jack I'm sorry..."

Jack glared at her, his face filled with rage and pain "You wanna know what I said to her! I went out there to tell her how much Pacey was in love with her!! -that she should do anything she can to get him back!!"

"Please Jack!.." Jen sobbed "I didnt mean-"

"Oh you meant it Jen!" Jack said angrily, breathing heavily, tears glistening in his eyes "...and you are right about one thing...I dont think she deserves him after what she did..." Jacks voice broke "...but I didnt tell her that either.."

Jen flinched as Jack slammed the door behind him. Her sobs echoing through the room.


***********


Pacey walked annoyedly down the hallway. //Stuff Joey Potter. Stuff her and all her rich snotbagged 90210 friends. He didnt need her, he had Jack and Jen, the best people in the world, the best friends anyone could ever have.//

//Speak of the Devil//
Pacey saw Jack walking quickly down the corridor towards him, his head low.

"Jackers!" Pacey yelled "Whats going on man?"

Jack looked up, startled, his face a combination of anger and pain, He stormed straight past Pacey "I cant talk now Pacey" he mumbled distractedly, practically running out the doors.

//what the hell?// Pacey looked quizzically at his friends retreating form, and shrugged, he could see Jen coming towards him anyway, he'd talk to her..

"Hiya Jenny!" Pacey said cheerfully

"Hi Pacey..." Jen said choked up with tears, and walking straight past him aswell "I cant talk right now" and with that she blew her nose loudly and disappeared out the same doorway.

Pacey raised a confused eyebrow. They might be his best friends but they were also his weirdest.

"Pacey?" a voice said tentatively from behind him.

"Get lost Potter" he said angrily "I wouldnt want to waste any more of your time, you can do your precious assignment by yourself..."

"You'll fail" Joey replied softly

Pacey turned to face her "It wont be anything new, Im the town loser, but you already knew that right? You and your friends find me pretty funny"

"Im sorry Pacey" Joey said, barely able to look at him "I didn't know how to tell them..."

Pacey glared at her "You could have started with, this is Pacey Witter, a good friend of mine, instead of pretending you didnt know me...?"

"I know..." Joey said "I dont know what came over me...Im..Im an idiot!"

"Yeah well, now you're a single idiot..." Pacey said, dryly.

"Pacey, Please...I am so sorry" Joey pleaded, grabbing his arm " I really care about you..."

Pacey sighed, looking at her "God Jo.. I care about you too ...but how do I know next time you see your friends you wont do exactly the same thing?"

Joey smiled "I wont Pace...I promise"

Pacey half-smiled back at her "Well here's your big chance Joey...your friends are coming this way..."

Joeys face fell, and she hesistated, but thats all it took. Pacey exhaled loudly, glaring at her "I thought so..." he said defeatedly

Joey sighed heavily and watched him start to go.

//what the hell was she doing!!!//

"Pacey! wait!!!" she yelled, grabbing a chair she stood on top of it. "Attention everyone...excuse me! ...HEY ASSHOLES!!!"

The vast array of students on the hall turned to face her, a small rumbling of voices going through the room. Pacey turned and looked at her skeptically. Joey cleared her throat

"Everyone! Listen up! this is very important!" she turned to look at Abby, Chris and Dawson, looking at them pointedly "Really important..."

Joey turned back, looking directly at Pacey "I did a really stupid thing this morning, I nearly ruined one of the best things in my life...just because I was scared of what my friends would think.."

Joey paused for a moment as she saw Jack come back into the hallway.

"As someone wise once said to me...I would be really stupid to lose someone this wonderful.."

Joey looked at Pacey sincerely, tears beggining to well up in her eyes
"..I'm in love with Pacey Witter, ...Ive only known him for a week, but I have never known someone so kind, so funny, and ...so cute.. " she giggled through her tears.
"Pacey, If you could find it in your heart to forgive me... I would be the happiest girl in the world..."

Pacey looked at her, a wide smile stretched across his face, slowly he pushed through the other students and walked up to her, he reached out his hand to her and she took it, stepping down from the chair and into his arms.

"I love you too Joey Potter"

They smiled at each other, tears running freely down their faces. Their lips met, and they kissed each other passionately, Joey welcomed the warmth of his lips and the sensations it sent through her body, she deepened the kiss massaging his rough yet silky tounge with her own. They kissed each other deeply, oblivious to the hoots of their fellow classmates.

There wasnt a person in the school hallway who wasn't smiling. Except for two people.

Dawson Leery and Jack McPhee.

>
****

The two of them walked down the pathway parallel to the water, the creek reflecting the suns harsh rays and tiny ripples making gentle whooshing noises against the shore. The two walked almost in silence, the body language of one was estatic, the other less so…

“She’s great isn’t she?” Pacey said , beaming “Do you know anyone else who would be so selfless? To stand up in front of the entire school and declare her love for me, man that’s gotta be good!”

Jen nodded sombrely “yeah, I spose…”

“Don’t get over enthusiastic there Jennifer” Pacey grinned, looking at her questioningly “Couldn’t you be a little more happy for me? I’m in love!”

“I’m sorry Pace, I really am…and I am happy for you ..really” Jen paused, sighing softly “its been a long day that’s all..”

Pacey grinned and put a comforting arm around her shoulders “Don’t worry Jen, you can tell me, old happy Mr Witter what’s going on and I’ll make it all better”

Jen chuckled “You really are rapt aren’t you?”

“Couldn’t be happier” Pacey said, glowing “Now wassup my fine friend?”

Jen shook her head defiantly, smiling reassuringly at him “I refuse to be the Grinch, I’m not going to put a dampener on your euphoric state because I had a bad day Pace…”

“No can do Lindley!” Pacey smiled “Im definately going to have this foolish egomanic grin on my face for the rest of the week, so fess up immediately or I will be forced to use extreme means of torture”

“Torture eh?” Jen smirked

Pacey nodded slyly “I have an old trick I like to call the type writer..”

Jen’s eyes widened, and she backed away grinning broadly “No way known Witter!”

“If I remember correctly it was quite effective, it seems you were quite ticklish indeed..” Pacey smiled mischieveously, creeping towards her.

Jen giggled as she backed up to a tree, shaking her head in mock-terror “no no no no no, not the type writer!”

Pacey leaned over her, grabbing her by the shoulders, and beginning to push her down to the ground.

Jen squealed “No don’t!” Pulling quickly out of his grasp, she ran and turned back to face him smiling wryly “I’ll tell you okay? Just don’t tickle me!”

Pacey chuckled, motioning for her to sit down next to him “:I knew you’d come around…” he said cunningly, plonking down onto the grass.

“Its not such a big deal Pace” Jen said, trying to convince herself as well as him “Jack and I just had an argument, a big one… I really let him down…” she sighed “I just feel really dreadful that’s all…no biggy”

“My two best friends fighting?” Pacey said, looking sadly at her “Its kinda a big deal to me Jenny”

Jen sighed, looking grudgingly at him “I knew this would ruin your happy mood…”



“Mood -shmood” Pacey said, making a waving gesture with him hand “As soon as I think about Joey again it’ll all come back” He turned to her, grinning widely “See?”

Jen laughed “Of course…”

Pacey’s smile receded and his tone turned serious again “So what did you guys row over anyway?”

“I told you” Jen said quickly, fiddling with a piece of grass “I let him down… I mean I mis-judged him…I jumped to conclusions!”

Pacey raised an eyebrow “You couldn’t be a little more specific?”

Jen kept her eyes on the ground “He…uh, had a little chat to Joey - that’s all…I …I uh, um assumed he said something he shouldn’t have…”

“and what would that be?” Pacey asked quietly

Jen looked at Pacey and forced a smile “If I told you that I would be letting him down even more….”

Pacey looked at her, confused and somewhat annoyed “He’s my best friend….You both are…and you are keeping secrets from me?”

Jen sat up, pulling herself to her feet “Trust me Pacey, this is something you’ll be far better off not knowing” with that she began to walk away “Whadda you doing hanging around anyway, go find that girl of yours!”

Pacey grinned "Will do..."


*********

*********
Later that night

only you
can make the world seem right
only you
can make the darkness bright
only you
and you alone
can thrill me like you do
you're my dream come true
my one, and
only you


Joey sighed "I love this movie...I mean they've screened it millions of times, but its so schmultzy sickly sweet I can't resist it"

"Pacey?" Joey looked at him incredulously, his head resting back on the seat, his breath coming in shallow gasps, his hair slightly tousled and his eyes firmly closed.

She shoved him "Pacey! wake up!"

Pacey opened his eyes abrubtly, sitting up straight and mumbling incoherently, he looked at Joeys peturbed expression "Im up!" he said quickly

Joey grinned at him slyly "way to be romantic Witter!"

"I am!" Pacey smiled innocently "I was awake! i was just-"

"resting your eyes?" Joey finished for him, her eyebrows raised

Pacey grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders "Okay okay, you got me Joey...but its these damn chick flicks, I can't help but fall asleep...Its like a guys right!"

"Right..." Joey nodded smiling wickedly "well I think that MOST guys, if they were alone in their brothers stolen-

"borrowed" Pacey corrected

"If they were in their brother 'borrowed' car all alone with a girl, watching a romantic-so-called-chick movie at the drive in..well I think MOST guys would have sleeping as the last thing on their mind... " Joey teased

"Uhhhh..." Pacey stuttered, a flush rising in his cheeks

Joey smirked "and all that room in the back seat too...what a shame..."

Pacey grinned widely "you, my dear Josephine, are teasing....thats not really very fair now is it..?"

Joey smiled evily, and made a dismissing gesture with her hand "Oh you've really killed the moment now Pacey, calling me Josephine? -it isnt exactly a turn on...Look, Its okay really...Its coming up to the best bit, you just go to sleep okay?"

Pacey eyed her suspiciously, chuckling "you wanted me to take advantage of you?"

"Not anymore" Joey said "Now shoosh-up Robert Downey Jr looks really sexy in this bit"

"The mans on drugs!" Pacey scoffed

Joey nodded, grinning widely "I bet he could stay awake through an entire movie though..." she taunted.

Pacey laughed, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her onto his lap, he pushed her hair gently away from her face.
"you are evil, evil and unfortunatly gorgeous" he said

"It runs in the family" Joey replied, looking at him and smiling.

"Yes it does" Pacey grinned, cupping her face with his hands "But I reckon your Dad is much better looking than you, Its a shame he's already attached to your mother... Yeah... I s'pose I'll settle for you"

"You are all charm Pacey" Joey said, kissing him softly on the tip of his nose

The feel of her soft, warm breath on his face sent shivers down Pacey's spine "I do my best" he said softly, leaning forward to kiss her, he let his tongue roll over her smooth lips and then deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to him, his mouth devouring hers
Joey shivered, loving the feel of his lips, his tongue, his rough but comforting skin and she let herself be taken, lost in the moment.

"Noone kisses like you do..." Joey said finally, almost breathless

"I'll take that as a compliment" Pacey grinned

Joey smiled back at him "You're amazing Pacey, you know that"

Pacey kissed her forehead "I think amazing is standing up in front of everyone and declaring you love for me" Pacey grinned "But who wouldnt right?"

Joey giggled "Right..Now give us another kiss"

***********
the next day..


"Hey Joey" Pacey said as he ran up to catch up to her

Joey slipped her hand in his "Hey Pacer-ooni" she chuckled "Whats up?"

Pacey laughed, raising and eyebrow "Not much, except I'm a little disturbed by the name you just called me.."

Joey snorted "you know you love it!, anyway I was thinking tonight you might wanna come over and meet my parents...that is, if you can stay awake..."

"Very funny Joseph" Pacey said "And I'd love to"

Joey smiled and narrowed her eyes "Now who's name calling?!"

"you know you love it" Pacey shot back.

Joey whacked him playfully "That is so not endearing Witter"

Before Pacey could say anything else Jen came running up to him, her eyes were wide and concerned, her breath coming in short heavy gasps.

"Jen" Pacey said worriedly, grabbing her arm "What's happened? Whats wrong?"

"Please tell me you've seen Jack" she said breathlessly

"Im sorry Jen, I havent.." Pacey said, his eyes full of concern "what's happening?"

Tears began to well up in Jens eyes "@#%$ it!" she cursed wiping them away furiously "I went around to his house this morning, to talk to him and he's not there...his mum said he hadnt come home at all yesterday, she thought he was at my house or your house...Pacey, noones seen him since yesterday! he's disappeared, and frankly I'm a little worried!"

Pacey put a reassuring arm around her shoulders "Jen, I'm sure he's fine...so Jackers has gone somewhere, its no big deal, he's probably just taking a breather...you'll see theres a fuss over nothing!"

"Pacey" Joey said quietly "I think Jen's right, maybe we should be a little worried"

"He's a big guy, why do you girls have to act like his mother?" Pacey said, trying to keep the edge out of his voice, he was worried too..

"Because Jack was really upset yesterday, and I'm scared for him Pacey" Jen said weakly

"You guys have had fights before" Pacey stuttered

"Its not just that" Jen said, her voice trembling "There was another reason why he was upset Pacey..."

Pacey looked at Jen, swallowing hard "and what reason would that be..."


****
***********************************************************
~*~
"Jen! What was he so upset about?" Pacey demanded, a mix of concern and anger and confusion etched across his face.

Jen looked at him, bewildered, breathing heavily, the air screaming in her lungs, her stomach wrenched, being torn apart by her conflicting emotions. She was in an obvious amount of pain, if she told Pacey she would lose Jack, and if she didn't she might lose him anyway, and she'd lose Pacey for sure.

A tear trickled down her face, her voice breaking "Pacey...I can't.."

Pacey grabbed her wrist threateningly "Jen, you cant keep this from me, Jack is my best friend...and he's missing" His voice was tight and strained "Jen...please!"

"Jen you have to tell him!" Joey said suddenly, looking worriedly at the two of them

"You know!?" Jen and Pacey said simltanously

Joey shrugged "I think thats irrelevant at the moment!"

Pacey stared at Joey and then back at Jen, his face one of total confusion "One of you better tell me very soon what the hell is going on" he said edgily, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

Jen sighed, and Joey looked at her feet, both of them remained silent.

"Thats it!" Pacey snapped, grabbing Joeys arm aswell he pulled them both into an empty classroom, slamming the door loudly behind them.

Joey found a chair to sit on, Jen leant weakly against a window, while Pacey stalked at the front of the room, darkness in his brow
"Who's it going to be?" he asked angrily, pleading with them "you have to tell me! Please!"

Crying, Jen pressed her cheek up against the cold glass, looking out at the rain pouring down on the football ground. Was he out in that?

Her thoughts were interrupted by Pacey. He was furious, he walked up to Joey, standing over her.
"Joey? you said you loved me? And you are keeping secrets from me??"

"Pacey thats not fair..." Joey started

"FAIR?!" Pacey yelled "I tell you whats not fair! it isnt fair to keep this from me! That Jack could be hurt...or...or worse..and you wont tell me what the @#%$ is going on!!!! THAT is not fair!"

"Pacey stop please!" Jen pleaded

Pacey turned and looked at her, His features contorted
"Tell me Jen!" he said as he began to walk towards her.

"I cant!-" she protested

"Tell me!"

"No Pace-!"

"FOR CHRISSAKES TELL ME!!!!" he screamed at her, grabbing the scruff of her jumper and pushing her violently against the window, tears beginning to well up in the corners of his eyes "I swear to god Jen, if you dont tell me what the hell is going on with Jack, if...if you keep this from me, I will never, ever speak to you again as long as I live..."

Jen looked up, directly at his eyes, keeping his gaze, her expression that of total helplessness.
"You want to know Pace?"

Pacey voice trembled "More than anything Jen, Please, I wanna know whats happening with my best friend that is so bad it made him run away ...I just want us to be honest..."

"It will change everything Pacey..." Jen sighed

Pacey looked at her "Then so be it"

Jen looked at Joey, who nodded.

Jen wiped at impending tears, knowing that even if she saw Jack again he would never forgive her for this. Not ever.
She exhaled loudly

"He's in love with you Pacey"


>
**********************************************************


~*~

He loved the rain. There was something so pure about it, cleansing even. He loved the feel of thousands of tiny rivulets of water running over his skin. Washing it all away….

Out here he could pretend nothing existed except what was created in his own imagination. Out here he didn’t have to think about Joey Potter in that hallway, didn’t have to remember that look of pure bliss on Pacey’s face. Didn’t even have to remember that look of doubt Jen had given him. If he didn’t want to.

He was free here. Here he had only happy memories, he could almost see her playing in the sand with him, running, giggling, teasing one another. Her smile. He remembered that really well. He missed that most of all. She’d have known what to do; she could have made it better just by smiling in that way.

His older brother blamed himself for it, when it happened. That’s why he had left. He had complained, and she, with her kind, generous nature had offered to take his seat. She’d insisted actually. And his mum didn’t see the truck, not until it was too late.

The doctors told him she had died on impact. That she hadn’t felt any pain.

Jack leaned back against the sand sighing heavily. He was here; he didn’t have to think about Andie, or Tim or Pacey or Jen or Joey. He was here, with the rain, with those memories he loved.
If he closed his eyes he could pretend it was real. That today was not the anniversary of her death, that she was out there smiling at him, that he was out there too, not different to anyone else. Free.
He could make the rest of the sh.it and pi.ss just wash away with the rain.

He looked up wearily, wiping the droplets of rain from his eyes and face. The bus was leaving soon, back to Capeside. Back to everything that represented his deepest insecurities and fears.

Back home. To forget about Andie like his family had done. Like his friends who had held his hand and helped him through it had done. To repress every last feeling toward one of those friends till the day he died. Forget everything.
Home.

And he was tired, really tired now.

~*~



“Pacey? Oh you poor dear! You’re drenched! Quickly, come inside before you catch pneumonia!” Mrs. McPhee said as she ushered Pacey’s wet be-draggled body inside.

Pacey tried to smile gratefully as Jacks mother grabbed his wet coat off him and wrapped him in a warm blanket “Pacey, honey, you look like a drowned rat” she said reprimandingly “What were you doing out in that storm?”

“Just thinking…” Pacey shrugged, sitting down on the couch, and wrapping the blanket tighter around himself, he looked hopefully at Mrs. McPhee “Uh…Any news on Jack?”

Mrs. McPhee shook her head, looking worried and annoyed simultaneously “Not yet sweetheart, but I’m sure he’s fine…Jacks father and a few of his friends have gone looking for him…”

Pacey just nodded.

Mrs. McPhee fiddled with a thread on her jumper “I’m sure he’s just somewhere sulking…. Creating all thing fuss over nothing…”

“Why would you say that?” Pacey snapped, his eyebrows narrowed

“Don’t you get angry at me Pacey Witter” She said annoyed “I know my son a lot better than you do! And I’m quite sure he’s out there somewhere feeling sorry for himself over things that are quite self-inflicted!”

“Self inflicted?” Pacey asked trying to keep his voice steady

“Oh you know!” Mrs. McPhee huffed “that whole ‘I’m gay’ phase he’s going through”

Pacey was taken aback “No offense intended Mrs. McPhee but I hardly think it’s a faze..”

“Of course it is!” She replied angrily “…No son of mine is gay, he’s just doing it for attention, he always gets upset over the anniversary…”

“Anniversary?” Pacey asked, blatantly confused.

“Andie’s!” Mrs. McPhee exclaimed, “you were there! Remember? You sat beside him at the funeral. She died and Tim left and Jack refuses to move on! With the kids in this family its amazing I haven’t gone completely crazy!!”

Pacey froze, he felt desperately ill. How could he have done this? How could he have forgotten? He and Jen, more than anyone else knew the torment Jack had gone through when he had lost Andie> How could he have forgotten? //I’m going to be sick// Pacey thought. All this time I was that vain to think it could be all over me, that he was that upset because of me, when I had forgotten the person that had meant the most to him in the world. Andie. Suddenly Pacey sat upright //I know where he is//

Standing up he looked at Mrs. McPhee, his face pale “I am just going to ignore those things you said about Jack because I know you are just upset that you cant find him, that he’s missing,” Pacey paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, or trying to “I will continue to think that you are so incredibly distressed over the unknown whereabouts of a son who is the most incredibly kind-hearted, considerate, intelligent person on the face of this planet, that are causing you to say these things”

Mrs. McPhee just looked at him, and nodded slowly “I love my son” she stuttered “I would be heart broken if something were to happen to him…”

“I know…” Pacey said “And don’t worry, I’ll find him…”




~*~

Jack walked lethargically from the bus, into the familiar streets of Capeside. It was dusk, and still raining, which made no difference anyway, as he was still soaked to the bone. He noticed the rain was a great deal more morbid here, the sky a lot darker. It made sense he supposed, this place had become the land of dis-comfort in the last couple of weeks. He stood in the rain and watched the town people rush by, in a hurry to get somewhere, taking no notice of his solitary form. But he preferred it that way, It made him feel anonymous, it was a change from the usual stares and taunts.

Jack jumped when someone grabbed his arm and whipped him around.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?!” Pacey said angrily “Your parents, and Jen…an-and everyone has been worried for you Jack!”

“I went to Gabrielle’s Point…” Jack said quietly

“I guessed that!…that’s why I rushed down here..I was gonna catch a bus…” Pacey shook his head, and looked at Jack pleadingly “You couldn’t have told someone where you were going?…Or even called to say you were okay??”

“Im fine Pacey…its no big deal” Jack said shrugging his shoulders, and sitting down in the bus shelter “I didn’t really think anyone would notice…”

Pacey looked at him incredulously, folding his arms across his chest “You think we don’t care?”

“Of course not” Jack said quickly “Look, I’m really sorry…I am…I didn’t mean to upset anyone…”

Pacey sat down beside him on the seat and exhaled loudly “S’okay man, I understand why you wanted to go out there”

“Six years Pacey…” Jack said quietly, looking at his feet “six friggin years…and some mornings I still wake up and expect her to come bounding into the room… grinning like she always did, telling lame jokes to me and Tim that she got off the net…”. Jack smiled slightly “I still miss her so much…”

Pacey’s winced at the sight of his friend wiping at tears “Andie was an incredible person Jackers…” He paused, grinning “I kinda had abit of a crush on her at one stage actually…”

Jack chuckled, looking at Pacey in surprise “You had a crush on my sister? Oh man, that’s classic…”

“For sure!” Pacey said “She was slightly neurotic, but she was fun, and pretty…”

“You two would have made a great couple” Jack laughed

Pacey nodded, smiling broadly “Yeah but, don’t you remember? When we were about seven years old, her and Jen were waiting for us up a tree, and when we walked past they threw water bombs at us with little soaps attached and they kept yelling out “Have a bath! You stink!””

Jack was bent over with laughter “I remember!’

Pacey chuckled “It damn near broke my heart!”

“You poor guy” Jack said grinning wickedly “The girl of your dreams told you that you stink”

Pacey leant back on the bench “What can I say man? It’s a cruel world”

“Yeah right…but now you have Joey” Jack said quietly

“I do, and it’s a great advantage that she thinks I smell okay’

“No she just hasn’t told you yet man…you smell like crap!”

“You can talk stinky McPhee! You need to give yourself a bath, your are absolutely wet through and you smell like old laundry!” Pacey laughed, hitting his friend hard on the shoulder.

“Ow!” Jack cried “Violent much?”

“Wussy much?” Pacey shot back at him.
Jack mock-glared at Pacey, rubbing his wounded shoulder “Bite me” he said “I am very macho, despite the cliches of my sexuality I don’t knit sweaters and I am very much the risk-taker”

Pacey just laughed “Sure man, I believe you really…” Pacey paused, his tone turning serious, he turned to Jack, looking at him earnestly “How is everything going with that?”

Jack raised an eyebrow “What?”

“You know…your …uhm, coming out or whatever” Pacey said uncomfortably, averting his eyes

“Oh you mean being Gay?” Jack asked, somewhere between bemused and uneasy “It’s been a barrel of laughs…”

“Jack-“ Pacey started

Jack sighed, looking out at the rain that had began to start up again
“Sorry Pace, I didn’t mean- …It’s been hell you know… and it’ll keep on going for awhile, but eventually the strange looks and snide comments will cease….and I will really…I mean, I’m still figuring things out y’know? I’d like to be a little less different…but I cant change who I am…or how I feel…”

Pacey nodded “I’m here for you Jackers…I mean you know that right?”
He stopped for a minute, taking a deep breath he looked back at Jack “…you would tell me it there was something that was really upsetting you wouldn’t you?. We’ve always told each other everything ”

Jack cleared his throat “Of course man” he said quickly “This isnt a very interesting topic…Lets talk about Joey, I mean she must really love you, standing up in front of everyone announcing how much she cares for you, I mean she-“

“I know Jack” Pacey interrupted

Jack nodded, smiling “Well you should know, she told the entire school…I’d be a little worried if you didn’t know Joey loved you”

“No!” Pacey said forcefully, hardly able to look at Jack “I know! I know about.. how you…. feel about me…” **************************

~*~
Complete Silence.

Jack stared at Pacey blankly, all the color draining from his face “what…?” his voice was breaking, barely able to get out the words “what…?”

Pacey sighed “Jen told me, she didn’t want to…I made her”

A horrified expression was plastered across Jack’s face, he could barely move, barely breathe

“I made her tell me” Pacey continued “they…Joey and Jen…they thought that was the reason you took off…-because of me and Joey…”

Jack shook his head, bent over slightly, now totally unable to look at his friend. His eyes fixed firmly on the rain pelting down on the street.

“Jack, its okay“ Pacey said quietly, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder

Jack moved away instantly, standing up and backing away from Pacey “Don’t!” he snapped “you have no idea what you are talking about..,n-no friggin idea”

“Jack it doesn’t matter, we can deal with this” Pacey insisted, breathing heavily “Don’t do this to yourself!”

Jack glared at him “Do what to myself?”

“You’re always such the martyr McPhee!” Pacey exclaimed “Always putting yourself second, ignoring your own needs and feelings because you want someone to be happy, or your scared that it will freak them out if you do tell them the truth…”

Jack shook his head again “That’s not true’

“It is!” Pacey yelled, standing up to face him “what were you going to do? Stand around and watch me and Joey for the rest of your life? Listen to me brag about how wonderful she is, how much I love her…and possibly, eventually…how good our sex life is? You would seriously be happy just to sit back and listen to that?! Ignoring your own feelings just so you wouldn’t ruffle any feathers, Jack if you’re in love-“

“I’m not in love with you Pacey!” Jack protested, tears beginning to well up in his eyes “you are like, like.. the straightest guy I know, and you have been my friend forever, and…and you have bad hair! and I don’t love you! …Jen must have been confused, this is all one big mistake okay?…I don’t love you…I don’t…”

“Jack-“ Pacey pleaded “what can I do? I want to make this right…”

“Then forget it” Jack snapped, he was shaking and his face was a deathly ashen “Do me a huge favor and forget you ever knew anything, make it right by waking up tomorrow and pretending this is all just a bad dream…”

“I cant do that Jack” Pacey replied solemnly

“Why the hell not?” Jack asked annoyedly

Pacey rested his head against the brick wall “Because if we don’t talk about this its going to ruin our friendship, and that’s the last thing I want”

A tear trickled down Jacks face and he roughly wiped it away
"Its too late Pacey...its too late...No matter what we say here, nothing is going to be the same between us again..."

Pacey shook his head, trying to convice himself also "It can be, we can fix this"

Jack looked at him dismally, his eyes slightly glazed
"Pacey?"

"Yeah?" Pacey replied

"I'm going home"
And with that Jack disappeared into the rain.

//pull me out from inside//

"Jesus I hate that song" Pacey thought aloud

~*~

Joey sat on the dock, her legs swinging aimlessly as Pacey approached her.

“Hey there sexy” he said, smiling slightly “What are you doing up this end of town”

“I decided to slum it” Joey joked turning to face him.

Pacey nodded wryly, sitting down next to her “Of course, I almost forgot, you’re reaching out to the retarded and rejected of Capeside right?”

“Uh huh” Joey grinned “I’ve taken a particular interest in this one case, he’s majorly delusional, but he’s also a great kisser…”

“Really?!” Pacey said waggling his eyebrows suggestively

“Yeah, …you might know him” Joey teased “He’s 24, huge muscles, -basic Mel Gibson look alike…we’re thinking of going up to this cozy little loft in Hawaii for the summer…it should be great”

Pacey leaned into Joey and gave her a quick kiss on the lips “I’ll keep an eye out for him..”

“Yeah, you do that” Joey said softly, grabbing the back of Pacey’s neck and returning his lips to hers. His soft warm mouth moving with her own.

Eventually Joey pulled away and looked at Pacey earnestly “The reason I came down here was I wondered whether there had been any word on Jack…?”

Pacey smiled weakly at her “Well he’s back…I mean, he came home…”

“Oh thank god” Joey replied quickly “what happened? -where did he go for all that time anyway?”

“He went up to Gabrielle’s Point” Pacey sighed “It’s where him and Andie used to play when they were younger…He really loves it there…”

“Okayyyyyyy…” Joey said, blatantly confused.

“You don’t remember Andie?” Pacey asked

Joey shook her head “Pacey, although I’ve lived here as long as any of you… I spent most of my childhood climbing in Dawson’s window, I never really paid that much attention to other kids …”

“She was Jacks sister, she was killed in a car crash when she was ten years old…today was her anniversary, Jacks never really gotten over it…you just don’t get over things like that” Pacey said quietly “He…uhm…was sitting right next to Andie when it happened, ..he was in pretty bad shape himself, but..uh he saw….he saw her…..Jesus….he still has nightmares about it…”

“Oh god” Joey said, horrified “Oh the poor guy…”

Pacey nodded, fiddling with a loose thread on his pants “He’s a braver man than me, that’s for sure”

Joey put her hand in his “Don’t sell yourself too short Pacey, I think you’re amazing”

Pacey smiled, resting his forehead against hers “well, you’re not too bad either I suppose…”

“And the compliments come rolling in..” Joey joked

“Joey you know I’m only putting up with you till Elle McPherson falls for my wily charms” Pacey grinned cheekily
Joey chuckled “Then I wouldn’t hold your breath Pacey…you have about as much charm as a plank of wood”

“Ouch baby!” Pacey laughed, putting his arms around Joey, and giving her a squeeze “you know I wouldn’t give you up for a hundred Elle McPhersons” he whispered in her ear

Joey kissed him softly on the forehead “I know…I wouldn’t give you up for a hundred Elle McPhersons either”

“Well I should hope not” Pacey chuckled, gently smoothing her hair back away from her face “Unless there’s something your not telling me…”

Joey feigned surprise “Oh, you didn’t know I’m bi? Yeah, me and Abby go at it constantly…You’re not upset are you?” she teased.

“I think I’m aroused actually” Pacey chortled

“Ugh” Joey groaned, a smile forming at the corners of her lips “Boys and their fantasies…what is it about lesbian sex that gets you lot going anyway…”

“My dear Joey…”Pacey said skeptically “You are asking why men find the idea of two women naked, together, leather straps, lingerie, hot oils-“

“Okay okay!!” Joey interrupted, shoving him playfully “Enough with the details already…I get it”

Pacey grinned widely “you asked…”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around Pacey’s stomach and leaning against him. The two of them sat in silence for awhile, just holding one another, relaxing in the warm glow.

“Does Jack know, that you know?” Joey asked tentatively

“Yeah” Came the simple reply from Pacey.

Joey sat up straight, looking at Pacey in surprise “Jeez, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting”

Pacey said nothing, but his eyes told her he wasn’t comfortable discussing it.

Joey asked him anyway “What did he say Pace?”

Pacey shrugged “Not much…he kinda half heartedly denied it, and then ran off…he’s just kinda embarrassed I think”

“He denied it at first when I confronted him too” Joey nodded

Pacey sighed, smiling bitterly “That’s right… you kept it secret from me”

“Pacey, that’s not fair” Joey snapped “I overheard a conversation between him and Jen that I shouldn’t have…it wasn’t my place to run and tell you”

“I just thought…” Pacey hesitated, standing up and looking down at Joey “I just thought that after what happened with your friends…and the stuff with your dad…I thought this was going to be an honest relationship”

‘It is” Joey said quietly standing up and taking his hands “Pacey you know I’m in love with you, it almost killed me not being able to tell you that stuff about Jack, but it wasn’t for me to tell” A tear trickled down her cheek “I’m sorry Pacey”

Pacey sighed and pulled her into a hug “No, I’m sorry Jo, You did the right thing…I dunno, I guess im just shitty, its been a long and VERY confusing day….I love you so much Potter, I don’t want anything to change that”

Joey pulled away slightly to face Pacey “me neither” she said quietly. Pacey smiled kissing her lightly on the nose, then continuing to pepper her face and neck with little kisses. Joey giggled “Stop teasing me” she insisted Pacey chuckled and within seconds his mouth was on hers, kissing her with his soft silky lips, their tongues entertwined, drinking each other in.

Joey smiled “Can I walk you home?”she asked, slightly breathless

“Sure Jo, but..um..isnt the guy supposed to walk to girl home?” Pacey asked

“Well…actually” Joey grinned slyly “I thought perhaps I might stay the night at your house…”

“Oh okay…sure, we just got this new fold out bed so you can use that if you want..I’ll get Doug to fix it up for ya” Pacey said smiling earnestly “we can even ring you Dad to let him know where you are…”

“Um Pace…?” Joey said quietly “what if I slept in your room…?”

Pacey looked endearingly confused ‘Sure, if that’s what you want…but it will be squishy, and we might have to find a different mattress coz the other one wont fit on the floor”

Joey giggled at his innocence “Pacey? why don’t I sleep in your bed with you and you actually under stand what I’m saying here…?”

Embarrasment came with the realization, Pacey smiled geniunely “You want to?…with me?…are you sure?”

“I love you Pacey Witter, I couldn’t be any surer” Joey smiled

Pacey grinned and took her hand “Then lets get outta here….”

*********************************************
******************************************



~*~
*~*

I am colorblind

It was hot. -a nice kind of heat. Intense. His hands were all over her, touching her. Caressing her. There was nothing wrong or vulgar about it. It was the purest she had ever felt. Just being held by him . Skin to skin. In love.

coffee black
and egg white

Almost home. It was so cold now. The rain had started once more, it went deep deep into his skin. He could barely see through the blurred night. Everything covered by the dark cloak. The rain welled up in his eyelids. He didn’t care because now he was exposed. Everyone saw him.

pull me out from inside

“You’re sure” A smile. A nod. He loved her. Skin so smooth and porcelin from the moonlight. Innocently touching . millions of emotions rushing through him.

I am ready, I am ready, I am ready,
I am

Rain whipped down on the windshield. Tyres spalshing through abundant water. He felt dark. Alone. She didn’t need him anymore. Didn’t want him. Darkness. Only the light from the headlights remained Intensifying the rain droplets He was nothing anymore. Not without her.

taffy stuck and tongue tied
stutter shook
and uptight

A bead of sweat. Soft moans. Hands clenched. Skin moving over skin. Hot breath and deep kisses.


pull me out from inside
I am ready I am ready I am ready
I am

fine

Nearly home. He wasn’t even walking now. Floating maybe. Grumbling thunder echoed at his ears, muffled by the water. The rain constantly running through him. Like he saw through him. He knew now and it was all gone. Black. Stepping on to the wet asphalt. His legs buckled . Slipping. He couldn’t stand now and they were coming. The moving lights.

I am covered in skin
no one gets to come in

Lightening lit up the room momentarily He could see her face, her smile. He kissed her softly. Tenderly. She nodded. Touching. Caressing. He slowly, gently took her.

pull me out from inside

The wipers squeaked across in front of him. He swiped at a tear. She wouldn’t ever want him like that. He was nothing. Useless and fleeting as the rain. The rain. He looked ahead. The object caught like a rabbit in the headlights. The dark figure was just ahead on the road, collapsing in the rain. Panic. Brakes. He could feel the tyres squealing. The car spinning. Silence.

I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am
colorblind

A deep moan. She wrapped her legs around him. Skin to skin. Heat. Sweat. Their bodies rocking in unison. Feeling pure. Feeling complete.

coffee black
and egg white

The rain tinkered down on his car. He opened his eyes slowly. Alarm. The figure, the person. He got up quickly, jumping from the car, out into the rain. Towards the slumped object. Grabbing a lifeless arm and pulling him onto his back. Rain pouring steadily down onto them. Recognition. He recoiled. Him.

pull me out from inside

Fingers intertwined. Heat of each others skin, the rocking becoming more intense. Breathing. Moaning. A final yell of ecstasy. Love remaining.silent in each others arms.

I am ready I am ready I am ready
I am
fine

He could see someone standing over him. A blur. The rain soaking them both. Deep into the skin. Both exposed. Yet Empty. The person reached down, grabbing his hand. Pulling him onto his shoulder. And eveything faded again. Black.

I am fine


I am fine


~*~


Jack opened his eyes slowly, his blurry eyes wincing at the bright lights. Was he in hospital? What the hell had happened? A figure leaned over him

“Hey sweetie, How are you feeling?” asked a motherly voice

Jack raised his eyebrows “Mrs Leery??“ He looked at the woman in front of him, blatantly confused.

“Yes sweetheart…you okay?” She asked “Dawson here, nearly ran you over, seems you’d been spending too much time in the rain and your body just had enough, you passed out-”

“-on the road” Jack finished for her, remembering what had happened. He looked at Dawson, who was standing at the doorway of his own room, looking disdainfully at Jack. It was clearly obvious he was unimpressed by his being there.
“Look, thanks and everything” Jack said beginning to get up “But I better get home, my parents will worry”

Dawson nodded quickly “Yeah, that’s a good idea”

Mrs Leery glared at Dawson “Don’t be silly Dawson dear, you heard the doctor say he needs to rest up, or else he could pass out again”
She turned to Jack “You had a mild case of hypothermia, Mitch rang your parents and they are going to pick you up tomorrow morning after you’ve had a good nights sleep, we’ve pulled out a mattress for Dawson so he can keep an eye on you”

Dawson sighed and rolled his eyes

“Really that’s not necessary-“ Jack said quickly, pulling the blankets off.

“Jack McPhee! You are sick! I won’t hear any arguments” she looked pointedly at Dawson “from either of you” and with that Mrs Leery walked out, shutting the door briskley behind her

There was an annoyed silence. Jack and Dawson glared at one another.

“This is just great” Dawson growled, slumping down onto the mattress “Just freaking great!”

Jack snorted in contempt “Oh yeah and this is such a dream for me Dawson…I mean I’ve always wanted to visit and I thought collapsing in front of your car would be the perfect opportunity!”

“Whatever” Dawson grumbled

“Look” Jack sighed “There’s like a thousand rooms in this mansion, there no need for us to be in the same one…”

Dawson laughed bitterly “You wanna risk being brutally murdered by my mother, go right ahead…she thinks you are going to have a heart attack or something at any minute”

“I’m fine” Jack said gruffly, leaning back on the pillows

“Yeah, sure” Dawson said “That nose dive in front of an oncoming vehicle was just for fun”

“It wasn’t deliberate” Jack snapped

“I didn’t say it was moron” Dawson snapped back, he paused “Why were you walking around in the rain anyway, and why’d you go missing all day??”

Jack turned to look at Dawson, his brow wrinkled with annoyance “Why the hell do you care?”

Dawson shrugged “I don’t”

“Great” Jack said, rolling onto his back again.

“Jack?” Dawson asked quietly

“What?” Jack replied snottily

“Pacey and Joey” Dawson asked tentatively, trying to look non-plussed “…what do you think is going on between them?”

Jack turned back to look at him, skeptically “I would have thought that would have been pretty obvious, considering yesterdays display in the school hallway”

Dawson nodded “Yeah, but do you really think its serious?”

“Yes” Jack sighed “I do”

“Well I don’t” Dawson said angrily “She’ll realize she’s too good for that moron soon enough”

“That moron happens to be my best friend, so I’d watch it Leery” Jack said threateningly

Dawson looked defiantly at Jack “Well I guess the truth hurts” he spat “That guy is the town joke, and the sooner they are finished with, the better”

Jack locked his jaw “What bothers you more Dawson? That she is with Pacey? Or that she isn’t with you?” he said angrily.

Dawson face fell

“I thought so” Jack said scathingly “And I think you should know they are very, very much in love”

“Shut-up” Dawson snapped, turning off the light


~*~

The rain outside had stopped.

“I’m so in love with you Pacey Witter” Joey whispered, looking adoringly at him sleeping beside her. His hair was all mussed and his mouth was slightly open, a quiet snore escaping his lips. He had a look of contentment etched across his face.

So vunerable and sweet. So perfect.

She couldn’t resist leaning forward and giving him a kiss.

His eyes fluttered open “hey beautiful” he said, smiling widely.

“Hey Pace…”she said softly “I didn’t mean to wake you”

“Hey, I don’t mind waking up to this face” he grinned “Definatly better than Deputy Dougie, the human fog horn”

Joey giggled “I heard he has a great singing voice”

“Indeed” Pacey chuckled, he paused, his tone turning serious “You…before…it was amazing Jo”

Joey nodded, tears of happiness beginning to well up in her eyes “It was the most beautiful experience of my life…I…I love you so much”

Pacey smiled “I love you too” he said, leaning forward and kissing her softly on the lips

She hugged him close to her “This thing with Jack,and with Dawson and my friends -its gonna be okay right? It wont change anything will it?”

“Of course it wont” Pacey lied, wrapping his arms firmly around her

*******************

~*~

Jen sighed. There he was. He was never going to talk to her again. And that was if she was lucky.
Jack had just entered the classroom, he saw Jen and looked in the opposite direction, however he was late and there was no other desk place to sit than directly next to her.

“Jack?” Jen whispered

Jack ignored her.

“Jack!”

Nothing.

“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually” Jen hissed

“Wanna bet?” Jack said, glaring at her “I reckon I could just about go the entire millenium without talking to you”

“You have to let me explain!” Jen pleaded, grabbing his arm “It’s complicated, and I, I didn’t-“

Jack yanked his arm away violently “So complicated you had to malign my character and betray my trust?!”

Mr Peterson loudly slammed the text he had been reading to the class shut “Mr McPhee and Miss Lindley!! Would you please shut up or take it elsewhere, in any case you are disrupting my class and-“

“Its fine! Im leaving!” Jack snapped, standing up and grabbing his books

“It wouldn’t be the first time” Abby remarked, from the back of the room

Chris Wolfe smiled snidely, and nodded “Yeah and this time if you try and off yourself, you might wanna jump in front of Dawsons car a little later”

“Maybe he just wants to jump Dawson” Abby giggled

Jack feigned laughter “That’s funny” he said sarcastically, glaring at them

“Mr Peterson-” Jen implored, her voice tight

The teacher nodded, and turned to the three of them “Jack if you’re leaving get out..and as for you two, -we can do without the snotty remarks”

Jack just turned and started to leave.

Abby smiled sweetly “Mr Peterson, its not our fault he’s all upset over his sisters anniversary”

Chris nodded in agreement “yeah, that dead chick fucked him up royally”

The class turned eerily silent, even the teacher was lost for words

Jack turned abrubtly, his face pale, his brow furrowed in anger

“Chris you @#%$!” Jen yelled, turning to her friend she quietened “Jack, he’s a moron, don’t worry about it-“

But it was too late anyway. Jack flew at Chris, taking him, and the entire desk down with him. It took the teacher and four other boys to tear Jack off him and by that stage Chris was battered and bloody.

“Get out!” Mr Peterson growled at Jack

Jack ignored him, his face was red and contorted with rage “go to hell you piece of @#%$” he spat angrily at Chris

“I said get out!!” Mr Peterson yelled

Jack turned abrubtly and stormed out, slamming the door loudly behind him.

“Good God” Jen sighed, getting up quickly from her seat and running out after him, muttering a few profuse apologies to Mr Peterson on the way.

**

She eventually found him in the gym, he was throwing tennis balls, basketballs, baseballs, baseball bats, shoes and any other movable object he could find at the walls.

“Okay so I’m little worried about approaching you at the moment with all those blunt, potential weapons in your possession” Jen joked as she approached him

Jack turned to look at her, shrugging coldly “If I were you, I would be”

“Jack please, don’t-” Jen sighed “I want to explain”

“Well, as far as I know I haven’t gone deaf” Jack snapped “So explain, …explain why you believed I would try and keep Joey and Pacey apart…Explain how Pacey found out the biggest secret in my life from some one who swore, YOU SWORE you wouldn’t tell. I believe the exact words were -wild horses couldn’t drag it from me?”

Jen exhaled loudly, a combination of anger and distress creeping into her voice
“We were worried about you Jack!! You’d disappeared without a trace, just after fighting with me and watching Pacey and Joey have a good old game of tonsil hockey in the hallway, I was going out of my mind worried about you Jack!!! And so was Pacey…”

Jack rolled his eyes “So you thought that telling him that I was in love with him would suddenly make you psychic?” He mocked Jen “-Oh Jack wants you Pacey!” “Really? Oh man! Well now I know where he is!”

Jen glared at him, her eyes filling up with tears “I didn’t do this to hurt you Jack, I didn’t want to tell him… But he knew something was up, he knew you wouldn’t leave over a silly fight”

Jack set his jaw, barely able to get the words out “I left because it was…it was..”

“Andie’s Anniversary” Jen finished for him, her voice cracking “I know Jack, I remembered later that day… “
She paused, the tears falling freely “you have no idea have much I regret what I said to you…a-and what I said to Pace…jesus! I’m so incredibly sorry Jack. I would never deliberatly hurt you, you’re like a brother to me…Andie was like a sister to me…. “ she sobbed quietly “…I miss her too you know..”

Jack looked at Jen, his resolve weakening.
“Jen, Im- I know you do…I…please don’t cry…Maybe, I might have over-reacted…” He paused, throwing another tennis ball across the room “Its just been so hard, the anniversary, the coming out…everything!…I would do anything for it all to just rack off…”

Jen half-smiled through her tears “In a perfect world maybe…”

“Perfect-shmerfect” Jack shrugged, smiling “At least life is a little more interesting this way…”

“Interesting being the understatement of the year right?” Jen grinned

Jack chuckled “right..”

“And you know your are going to get your ass kicked for what you just did to Chris Wolfe right?” she asked

Jack nodded regretfully “Oh yeah…right..”: He paused, a smile spreading across his face “But it was worth it right?”

“So Right!” Jen laughed, then she paused, grinning innocently “Is it time for make-up hugs yet?”

“Oh I think so…” Jack nodded, walking up to Jen, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close to him “I love you Jenny”

“I love you too Jacky” Jen giggled, squeezing him, then grabbing his hand “Lets go before Miss Vine comes in and sees all the dints you put in the walls”

“Wait! One more thing:” Jack said, his tone serious

Jen looked worried “What is it Jack?”

Jack leant in and spoke quietly to her “you call me Jacky again and I’ll do bad things with pitch forks…okay?”

Jen laughed “uh huh, gotcha…reading you loud and clear Jacky”

“HA HA, very funny!” Jack said sarcastically “you are so dead woman!”

“Who’s dead?” came a familiar voice from across the gym.

The two of them turned, huge grins of their faces, to the face to which the voice belonged. Jen kept smiling when she saw who it was, but Jacks smile quickly faded.
Pacey and Joey stood in the gym doorway, their hands firmly in one anothers.

“Um , uh -no ones dead…yet…” Jen laughed weakly “Me and Jack were just mucking around:..”

There was an awkward silence, Jen was smiling goofily, while Jack looked directly at the floor, shifting his feet, Pacey was trying to catch his eye, while Joey was pretending that nail in the roof had suddenly become a lot more interesting…

“So…” Jen said, trying to get a conversation started “Did you two just get here? I…I mean we didn’t see you in English..”

“We had a late night” Pacey explained “we slept in…which is amazing cause Doug’s singing in the shower usually wakes up the entire household-”

Joey looked at Pacey incredulously, kicking him in the shin and stifling a giggle

Pacey who, suddenly realized that he had just told his friends more than was necessary, blushed, stumbling over his words “ I mean…we didn’t…it was, we had homework…Joey was ..-it was homework ”

Joey nodded, grinning widely in spite of herself

“homework eh?” Jen laughed “Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”

The three of them burst out laughing.

Jack smiled uncomfortably “So I gotta go…there’s..I uh- Have to see if Chris is okay…So I’ll seeya’s” he stuttered, practically running out of the gym

“Jack!” Pacey, Jen and Joey yelled in unison

“Pacey! I cant believe you said that!’ Joey giggled, hitting him playfully

Pacey nodded, chuckling, and giving Joey a quick kiss “That’s strike two, if I get any dumber, I’m off to the mental institution”

“I’d miss you” Joey cooed

“No you wouldn’t” Pacey laughed

“You’re right” Joey nodded, teasing “I’d be off to Hawaii with Mel”

“Ugh” Jen groaned “cute banter…this is so 90210”

Pacey and Joey looked at Jen in mock-horror

“Okay okay…” Jen grumbled “Its not really..I’m just a bitter old hag”

“Don’t be silly” Pacey chuckled “you’re a semi-bitter young hag”

Jen punched him hard on the shoulder “yeah yeah I can see it now, me and Jack in fifty years, living together, both pining over people we cant have me- Tom Cruise, and Jack….well probably Tom Cruise too.

“Ahh, but didn’t you know” Joey replied “Tom’s available now, they broke up”

“-And it makes me so sickeningly sad! his family was part of his charm…damn hollywood!” Jen laughed

Pacey sighed, looking at the doorway “Do you think Jack is ever going to stay to have a conversation with me…like…ever again?

Joey squeezed Pacey’s hand reassuringly

“Uhm…For sure Pace” Jen said unconvincingly “of course he will!…”

Pacey raised his eyebrows “And now can we step out of Laa Laa land Jennifer, and tell Pacey the truth?”

“You cant handle the truth!” Jen mimicked, laughing

Joey giggled

“Very funny Jen” Pacey smiled “Now really, do you think he’s going to talk to me again sometime this century?”

“Nope” Jen said “it doesn’t seem likely…”

Paceys brow darkened.

Joey saw his reaction, and put her arms around his waist “I’ll talk to you…I don’t really want to…but I will” she teased

“Oh you know you want to” Pacey grinned pulling her closer to him “now give us a kiss”

“Gladly” Joey smiled, leaning in and kissing him passionately

“Ergh…berk…burghh ..erk” Jen said loudly “Oi! Joey, Pace! this mush is making me make spew noises over here!”

But they didn’t listen, they were too enthralled in each other.

***************
Joey smiled to herself as the two of them strolled through the courtyard.
He was the greatest. The way his eyes crinkled when he grinned at her. The way he rubbed her knuckles with his thumb when they held hands. The way he was so passionate about everything, his friends, his family…and her…
He made her feel so complete. When he was around her, she felt like the most important person in the world, the sound of his voice, the touch of his skin, created a warmth inside her, and aroused all these emotions she never even knew she had. He loved her. She loved him. Last night was evidence of that.
Sure, he’d been a little distracted today, but he was just worried about Jack right?
Yeah, he loved her. And that thought comforted her to no end. Not even Dawson-

Dawson. She’d forgotten about Dawson, she hadn’t even had time to talk to him about everything. She’d just gone off in search of Pacey. She hadn’t even spoken to him about the other day, in the hallway. Damn. She’d negelected her best friend. He was probably feeling so alone, probably pissed too.

“Pacey?”

He looked at her, coming somewhat out of his daze “huh?” he asked tiredly “what did you say?”

Joey grinned “Nothing you dolt! I just said your name” she paused, trying to think of the right words “I was thinking I better go find someone, you know, talk to him”

Pacey looked confused “Jack? But you barely know hi-

“Dawson” Joey interrupted “I really am thinking of carting you off to the mental institution you know…”

“Sorry” Pacey grinned, yawning “I’ve got things..,.stuff, on my mind, makes me confused, that -and the fact that I’m just really tired”

“Rough night eh?” Joey teased

“Yeah it was horrible” Pacey shot back, grinning mischieveously “Worst night in years I’d say, maybe ever”

“Oh okay” Joey smiled slyly, shrugging “I guess whatever it is you did, well.. you better not do it ever again”

Pacey wrapped his arms around her waist, beaming at her “I wouldn’t go that far….” he chuckled “actually, now that I think about it I reckon I could do it every night, and twice on Tuesdays…whadda ya say?”

Joey laughed, and then pretended to think seriously about it “I dunno…” she taunted “I like to get all the ironing done on Tuesdays”

“You are such a comedian Jerry” Pacey chuckled, kissing her on the forehead “now what’s this about Dawson anyway?”

Joey looked pensive “I think I should talk to him…I haven’t for ages - well not since we’ve been together, and he’s my friend…my best friend”

“yeah your right…that’s a shame, that he’s you friend” Pacey chuckled

Joey hit him playfully “Quit joking! I need to clear things up with him…like you do with Jack…”

Pacey sighed “It’s a little hard to clear things up with someone who runs away, or goes deathly silent whenever I’m around”

“He’s just embarrassed’ Joey insisted “wouldn’t you be?”

Pacey just nodded.

“He’ll be okay” Joey said, kissing him softly on the lips “he will…”

“I know, he’s a tough guy” Pacey half smiled “I just want things to be back to normal…I really don’t want this to ruin our friendship”

“I don’t want to ruin mine and Dawson’s friendship either” Joey said simply

‘Right! Okay! You made you point” Pacey smiled, giving her a shove “Go talk to Dawson!!…i’ll…well I spose I can try to find Jack….try to scrape back some semblence of our friendship… “

“Good Luck” Joey smiled, giving him a quick peck and then leaving

Pacey just groaned.


~*~


“Hello? You call this a library? Look at these books , they’re not even in order!”

Miss Jacobs looked at Dawson disdainfully “Mr Leery I suggest you keep your voice down and use the library appropriately, or else leave” she said dryly

Dawson glared back at the librarian “I’d use the library appropriately if the library were actually appropriate” he muttered

“There’s a system to it” said a voice from behind him “Its kinda the look-everywhere-and-you-are-bound-to-find-it-eventually method”

Dawson turned to see Joey smiling awkwardly at him. He just looked at her, his face dead pan “Do I know you?” he asked

“Very funny Dawson” Joey smiled “I’m sorry we haven’t talked for awhile, I’ve been..busy…”

“Busy huh?’ Dawson said, putting a book back onto the shelf “Busy doing what?”

“Just hanging out with Pacey and stuff” Joey said quietly “what about you?”

“Me? Nothing much…” Dawson said pushing past her and sitting down at a desk.

Joey sighed “Don’t do this!”

“Do what?” Dawson asked snottily

Joey sat down next to him exasperated, hissing at him “Don’t push me away! Acting like you don’t care when you obviously do”

“You’re right!” Dawson snapped, trying to keep his voice down “I do care that you are dating the most pathetic loser in the entire town”

“Don’t say that Dawson!” Joey said angrily “How can you say that when you know how much I care about him?!”

Dawson shrugged “How am I supposed to know? You haven’t talked to me for three days”

“Im sorry Dawson, I am” Joey said trying to keep her anger under control “but I love him, he’s the most incredible person…and you’d know that too if you gave him a chance…he’s this wonderf-”

Dawson looked at her in discust “You have obviously been spending way too much time with those morons…you’re starting to sound like them…or maybe you’re just on crack like you father-”

Joey slapped him hard across the face. The students in the library looked inquistively at the two of them, a murmur of voices filling the room.

Joey was furious, her eyes ablaze with anger “How dare you say that!”

Dawson just looked at her stonily, his eyes glistening with tears, a red mark appearing on his right cheek

“Look I came here to talk to you about everything because I actually thought our friendship meant something…” Joey growled “But its suddenly occurred to me that you are as shallow as everyone said…I was just too dumb to see it”

She turned to leave

“Joey!” Dawson yelled pleadingly

Joey turned reluctantly “What?!”

Dawson stumbled over his words “I lo- I mean Im in-“ He sighed and then looked away “Nothing”

Joey sighed “Goodbye Dawson” she said, before turning and walking away


~*~



“Jen!” Pacey yelled, running up to her “Ya seen Jack?”

“Library” she said simply, not looking up from her magazine.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Pacey asked grinning

Jen smiled but still didn’t look up from her mag “Several times, but usually when I give you valuable information”

Pacey laughed and walked off.


~*~



The first person Pacey spotted when he walked into the library was Dawson, sitting at the corner desk, Joey wasn’t with him and he looked pissed.

He saw a figure dart across the room and realized it was Jack making a break for it, not so subtly as you might imagine.
“You know, it would be almost comical, if it werent so…well…you know..not comical..”Pacey thought aloud.

He made his way over to the tutorial room he had seen Jack slip into
“If I were a Jack, where would I be?” He said loudly, opening the door he saw Jack sitting, arms crossed at the furthest end of the room, looking somewhat annoyed. “Would you look at that!?” Pacey chuckled “I found it”

“Look Pacey” Jack said quickly “I’m really busy with the work I missed yesterday... I cant talk right now…”

Pacey looked at Jack skeptically, shutting the door behind him “You cant talk? Or you don’t want to talk?’

“Is there a difference?” Jack said offhandedly, pretending to be interested in the work in front of him

“Of course there’s a difference’ Pacey sighed “you have to talk to me…we have to talk about this”

“What?” Jack said snappily “So we can embarrass ourselves and over-analyse the situation time and time again?! There’s no point…”

Pacey looked at him.

“Please Pacey, I have to work!” Jack insisted

Pacey shrugged “That’s too bad, coz I’m not leaving…”

“Fine!” Jack said angrily “Watch me work then”

Pacey sat there in silence.

“Look Pacey” Jack said finally, struggling with his words “It’s not that bigger deal, I may have had some kind of weird feelings for you at one stage, but you’re not gay and you’re with Joey…and I’m over it”

“You’re over it?” Pacey asked “Just like that?”

Jack took a deep breath “Yes.”

“You’re over it?” Pacey said again

Jack looked angrily at Pacey “I said yes didn’t I?”

Pacey nodded.

“She was in here before” Jack said distractedly

“What?” Pacey asked “who?”

“Joey” Jack explained “Her and Dawson had a fight”

“Oh” Pacey said surprised “What about?”

Jack shrugged “I’m not in the habit of eavesdropping…I just know there was some yelling…then she slapped him I think”

Pacey looked at Jack incredulously “She slapped him? Jesus! What did he do to her?!”

“I told you I don’t know” Jack replied “she’s your girlfriend…”

Pacey raised an eyebrow “yeah thanks, I know…” he paused “I better go find her I suppose”

“That’s what boyfriends do” Jack said indifferently

“Cut it out Jack” Pacey said “It’s clear you aren’t over me, but cant you at least pretend we are still friends…we’ve been like best friends for all our lives and you are willing to throw that away?”

“You weren’t even supposed to know’ Jack muttered, fighting back tears

Pacey sighed ”I know that, but I do know…it cant be changed” he paused “I think you should know I have…I uh…uhm..like feelings for you…”

Jack looked at Pacey in discust “what??”

“You heard me” Pacey said simply

“That’s crap Pacey:” Jack snapped “Total crap. And its not funny”

“Its not crap” Pacey replied, his face flushed “but..but its not even close to what I feel for Joey…I’ve put it down to nothing more than feelings that have come from us being friends for so long…I love Joey”

“I know that” Jack said quietly

“Right” Pacey said awkwardly “can we please be friends then?”

“There no harm in trying I suppose” Jack shrugged “you better go see if Joey’s okay”

“Yeah” Pacey said “I wonder what that prick said to her”

“Go easy on Dawson” Jack said softly

“Why the hell should I?” Pacey said gruffly

Jack looked seriously at him
“He’s just in love”

part 3
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