The Creekers Strike Back
Need to Know - Everything in the first 4 seasons has happened but some knowledge of season 5 is required, or at least of the episode “Hotel New Hampshire”. The title is inspired by “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” and there’s somewhat of a resemblance to that movie (minus about three hundred bad words)
Feedback - Always encouraged - send to milburncreek@yahoo.com
Disclaimer - The characters don’t belong to me. Blame Kevin Williamson. I hope no actors were harmed in the reading of this fic - it’s part frustration and part kidding around. Don’t sue, please don’t sue, I’m just a hack with way too much time on my hands.
Chapter 1 - Premise Beach
“So this isn’t a movie night?” Joey Potter exclaimed as she entered Dawson Leery’s room with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder.
“Not exactly. Let’s wait until the others arrive.” He was fidgeting around with a collection of tapes.
“You’re not going to tell me what you’ve planned.”
“It’s not as if I told Jen or Jack when they arrived so why would I treat you any differently?”
“Yeah, I realize that.” Joey glanced at the tapes, then added sarcastically, “I’m sure they love the idea of preparing food for the five of us for an as-yet unknown reason. You can’t even give a hint?”
”Believe me, you’re not gonna be very happy about this. I had no idea this would turn into such a mess.”
Joey’s face dropped slightly. “Exactly what did you do?”
“Remember I told you back when we started sophomore year about this friend of my dad’s who had this idea for a documentary?”
“How could I forget? I had to give interviews to him for three years. Although it wasn’t too bad because it was like getting therapy for free.” She got back to the distressed look on Dawson’s face. “So, did he actually get anywhere?”
“You could say that.” He held up a tape. “Or you could say that he’s nothing but a hack…”
Before Dawson could continue, Jen Lindley and Jack McPhee returned to the room, carrying a bowl of microwave popcorn, a six pack of soda, potato chips and dip between the two of them. Jen threw the bag of chips on the bed in protest, “I can’t believe we’re still in the dark yet you told Joey!”
“Sorry, Jen, there’s no difference in the story so far.”
Jen whined, “Dawson! Considering that Winter Break is so short, the idea of wasting a night in your room is hardly what I had in mind.”
Joey laughed, “You just want to go back to snuggling with Drue.”
“Do you have a problem with that?” Jen pouted, “He’s only here for a little while before returning to that college in New Mexico. Surprised the witch is even letting him stay here.” Jen pouted, then lighting slapped Joey’s leg to give up some space on the bed. “Besides, you’re not one to talk. You’re just waiting for the moment when Pacey sets foot in the room.”
Before Joey had a chance to reply to that, the subject sauntered into the room. That’s right, Pacey Witter has entered the building. He plopped down on the bed, pretending to push Joey off. “You realize a star such as myself needs his space.”
Joey retorted, “I’ll keep that in mind next time you come over to my place.”
Perhaps Joey missed the hint because Dawson snapped, “You promised to keep quiet.” Jen and Jack were about to sit on the floor but stopped in mid-air. They stood up in unison and stared at Dawson in confusion.
Pacey insisted, “Am I or am I not the star attraction?” Now Joey was as puzzled as Jen and Jack.
Jen demanded, “You told him before telling us the big news?”
Dawson explained, “I didn’t tell him the reason I called you here. He’s convinced that he’s the main attraction in this series. You know, the ‘documentary’.” Jen nodded in understanding. “Well, it’s not a documentary. It’s a lame soap opera. But it’s even worse now that he had a disagreement with my dad.” Dawson shook his head. “It’s absolutely sickening.”
Joey assured him, “Come on, it can’t be that terrible.”
“Oh yeah? I found someone at school who has the channel it airs on - there was a marathon recapping the current season. I’m just glad nobody’s realized yet that there’s a connection between me and that lame ass show.” He held up the videotape. “I give you snippets of recent episodes of the show.” He popped it into the VCR.
Lynn: Oh, I don't think so. Granted, the people of this town are a little...off, but who can deny that we could both use the love? And what better way to spend an evening than as girlfriend to the biggest celebrity in town?
Lawson: Gee, honey, you shouldn't have.
Jen grabbed the remote control and paused the tape. “What the fuck was that? Was that blonde supposed to be me? And why would I be boosting your ego? I thought that was Zoe’s job.”
“What?” Joey screeched. Then she conceded, “Yeah, that’s the way this show was written in the past. But then I know she hooked up with Casey, which made her so much cooler.” Pulling Pacey over to her, she added, “In my unbiased opinion.” To Dawson, she asked, “I am still with Casey on the show, right?”
“Well…” Dawson sighed. “Not exactly. The previous season ended with Lawson and Zoe kissing.”
“Yeah, I know that but when Casey returned from the boating expedition, he and Zoe reunited. Right?”
“Actually, there wasn’t much in the episodes I saw to indicate that relationship even happened last season. How do you even know about that kiss? We don’t even get that channel in a small town like Capeside.”
Joey said, “I happened to find a website which has synopses of the episodes. But I haven’t checked up on it lately. So, Lawson and Zoe are back together?”
“Nope, Zoe’s actually single. Though there is that creepy teacher who’s definitely flirting with her.”
Pacey interjected, “Didn’t they already do that storyline when my character hooked up with his English teacher?”
“That’s true. But they needed an excuse to add an older man to the show.” Dawson grabbed the remote and fast-forwarded. “Anyway, that’s the least of the problems.”
Casey: You had a face. But let's get back to giving me credit, shall we? You may also have noticed that tonight I have kept us in very crowded places because I wouldn't want you to be tempted to jump me on our non-date evening.
Sharon: Well, I mean, you are wearing that really sexy outfit. Damn. Who would have thought you'd clean up so good? And you're so right. A lesser guy would have not afforded my self-control such a generous security blanket. You've saved me from myself.
Casey: Well, it hasn't been easy, let me tell you.
Joey stopped the tape, then turned to face Dawson. “That’s supposed to be Casey, right?”
“Yes.”
Pacey stared at the still image on the TV screen. “That’s me? Nice casting.” He nodded in approval. “So is this Sharon his new girlfriend?”
“Not exactly. Sharon hates him.”
Pacey pointed out as he continued the tape, “Well, Zoe ‘hated’ him too but it all worked out for them.”
As another scene with Lawson and Lynn appeared on the screen, Jack asked, “I thought Zoe was an integral part of the show.”
“Actually, this is a rare episode in which there isn’t much happening with the men in her life that has anything to do with her. It’s also the rare episode in which Zoe has her spine return from the first season.”
Joey sighed, “I guess that’s a relief.”
Lawson: How did I get top prize? I mean, either my dad donated a wing to the Hooksett public library, or these people have no idea what's good and what's bad.
Joey talked over the TV, “If the gang is in college, how do they incorporate your parents? They were pretty important before.”
Dawson stopped the tape. “As a result of the heated argument my dad had with his former bud, he was sort of… well, killed off.”
Four pairs of eyes turned to him in shock. “What?!!!”
“Yeah,” he replied solemnly, “He was killed off in a car accident.”
Jack asked, “Drunk driver?”
“No, ice cream cone. Sick, sick bastard,” referring to Mitch’s former friend. He continued the tape.
Lawson: You can't break up with me. You'll never break up with me. The physical attraction is far too strong.
Lynn: You got me there, tiger.
Jen replied, “Um, Dawson, are we dating again?”
“Not yet. That’s reserved for the end of this episode.” Dawson replied. Jen thought he was kidding but noticed he was completely serious.
Jen got up off the floor and muttered, “Excuse me.” The next sound heard is of somebody puking. She returned as if nothing had happened. “I thought Lynn would be with Andrew this year. What happened?”
“The actor playing Andrew found work on a better show. So he’s never mentioned. Even though this Lawson hookup is still an improvement on her first guy this season.”
Joey added, “I saw pictures of the guy on the Internet. Yum.”
“That’s pretty much all the writers thought of him as well.” Dawson muttered.
Pacey chimed in, “So Casey’s actually getting a little action. It’s not all bad.” They looked at the screen to see Casey and Sharon making out on the couch. Joey grabbed the remote in disgust as she continued to fast forward. “Blah, blah, praising Lawson. Okay, here’s something different.
Eric: God, I don't know, man. It's like I gave her my best moves and my best lines, and it... zzz! Nothing! What if she turns out to be a prude?
Jeff: What? No, no. Believe me. Look, the last thing Alley is is a prude. I don't know what you're so worried about, man. I mean, Alley's easy, all right. She's just looking to have a good time. I know for a fact that she was psyched to come here tonight. You just, you know, play your cards right and she'll hook up with you for sure.
Jeff turns around to see that Zoe was standing behind him when he said this.
“What the hell was that about?” Joey was completely puzzled as she stared back at Dawson. “She’s trying to get action from frat guys?”
“Um, that’s the other thing. That guy who said the girl was easy? That’s Jeff.”
Jack stretched over Joey to get the remote and rewound to the previous scene, then paused it. “Are you fucking serious? What the hell happened?”
“Long story short, the actor threatened to walk if the character wasn’t changed.”
Jack pointed out, “Well, maybe he should have joined an Aaron Spelling production instead. After all, he’s the one who hires 30 year olds to play teenagers.”
“I don’t think it’s about the age of his character, Jack. After all, the audience is reminded at every opportunity that he’s made out with both Zoey and Lynn at different times.”
He stared back at the screen, then to Dawson mournfully, “I guess it would go without saying that Jeff’s boyfriend is gone.”
“You’d be correct.” Jack leaned back against the bed, disgusted. Dawson then fast-forwarded to a later scene with Zoe and Jeff.
Alley: I know. I know. No hard feelings, ok? Just a lot of making up to do. And the next time you set me up, it better be with someone secure enough with girls not to resort to, like, muscle-and-fitness talk.
Joey: Really, what was that about?
Alley: Go easy on him, bunny.
“Is that Sandy?” Jen asked. “I was wondering what happened to her.”
“No, Sandy was written out a year earlier.”
Jack replied, “Yeah, but she was heading to Italy for a semester. She would have returned for her stint in Harvard.”
Joey replied, “Actually, in one of the last episodes the previous season, Sandy decided to defer for a year.”
“What a lame excuse to keep her off the show.” Jack retorted.
Dawson replied, “Why do you think I didn’t invite Andie to our little viewing session? She would have a fit if she discovered that. With Sandy gone, there was a serious lack of estrogen. So Zoe was given a roommate named Alley.”
“That explains how Sandy seemed so much cooler this time.” Jen smirked.
“Yeah, I have to admit, that was one addition that I kind of liked as well. Why couldn’t Lawson have dated her instead?”
Jen smiled. “ I would certainly support that.”
Jack stood up and stated, “I think we all can say that this supposed friend has ruined everything.”
“Not really.” Pacey smiled, then turned back to the show. The scene playing was Sharon and Casey at the bus stop, as she’s saying goodbye to him. His smile turns into a frown. “What the fuck?” He then stood up next to Jack, “I completely agree.”
Jen and Joey rose as well. “Same here.”
Dawson was proud of the gang reuniting. You’d have thought that college would have pulled them apart. Although they certainly couldn’t spend as much time together as before, since only Jen and Jack attended the same college, it was moments like this that could pull the entire group together again.
Now was his turn to inform the others of his grand plan. “I found out where the show is shot. I propose that we inform this jerk that we don’t appreciate any of this.”
Joey interrupted, “Believe me, I’m certainly interested in ripping him off a new one. But shouldn’t we be more informed. Maybe it’s just one lousy episode.”
“If you insist on delving further into this…” Dawson said.
Jack added, “Besides, how are we supposed to get to California? For you, it’s not an issue but it’s not an easy expense for the rest of us.”
As Dawson was about to think out the best strategy, Pacey walked into the middle of the group. “How about this? Joey, you can find that website with the episode summaries from all the seasons. Dawson, get any information from Mitch about their agreement and the argument which caused the trouble. Jen, you go through the other episodes on this tape and, I suspect, keep Jack away from it. Jack, figure out a way to tell Andie what happened to her character because we need someone organized involved.”
Joey asked, “What will you do?”
“I’ll figure out the best route to drive there. You guys have a couple of weeks off and I’m on permanent vacation so why not make it a road trip in the Witter-mobile?”
Jen sighed, “I can’t. Drue’s only in town for my benefit…”
Pacey interrupted, “Bring him along. Try not to tell him yet what our purpose is.”
“Why?”
“No real reason. Just wait until we’re a couple of states away. The way you two are hot and heavy, I doubt it would matter.”
Dawson muttered, “Thanks for stealing my thunder.”
* * * * *
Two days later, there was another meeting in Dawson’s bedroom. Joey was sorting a stack of printouts. Jen was holding the videotapes. Andie was antsy, waiting to find out the other females’ discoveries about the show, while Jack was trying to calm her down. Surrounding them were several duffel bags, packed and ready to go.
As soon as Pacey arrived, Jen exclaimed, “This is much worse than we could have imagined!”
Pacey raised an eyebrow in confusion. “How bad could it possibly be?”
“You weren’t the one who had to sit through hours of this trash.” Jen pointed out.
“Or the one that’s being trashed by the fans.” Joey added.
“Or the one everyone is thrilled isn’t part of the show anymore.” Andie said.
“Or the one that really shouldn’t be part of the show anymore.” Jack concluded.
Pacey sat down on the bed. “It sounds like the research didn’t produce desirable results.”
Joey explained, “The show has had problems well before this latest fiasco. Even though Dawson said that the show was true to form the first four years, it…” She paused before saying, “Do you know what it’s like to see people discussing Zoe as a person who needs a guy in her life to survive?”
Jen added, “Zoe cried at least once in every episode on these tapes.”
“Yeah, that too. She’s a fucking tease. One moment, she’s talking about Lawson, next she’s snuggling with
Casey. On these tapes, it’s all about Lawson.” Joey
shook her head. “Viewers actually have
fights about who she is ‘destined’ to end up
with.”
“Where’s this?” Pacey asked.
“Message boards. Did you know that there are people
who can write pages on the subject. Then,
there are websites that call her a troll. Even these
weird stories about how they’ll hook up. Some of
these stories graphically explain every detail.”
Looking down at Pacey as she stressed, “‘Every’
detail.”
Pacey laughed, “You’re kidding!”
Dawson entered the room, startled that they would
dare start the meeting without him. “Also, many
can’t understand why the show is called Lawson’s River
when few seem to like the main character. I’m not
sure what the problem is since I think Lawson is
definitely the coolest part of the show.”
“Did you watch the same tape I did? That Lawson guy
gets on my nerves.”
Dawson appeared insulted as he said indignantly, “Of
course I watched the same show! They’ve given him so
much to overcome this season and he’s handled it
admirably.”
Joey interjected, “That’s because the writers realized
Lawson was in the doghouse with the fans. So this
year, they’re doing everything in their power to
redeem him.”
“I don’t understand. The first four seasons held true
to what my dad told him. How could I be the
despised one?” He huffed as he plopped down in the
his office chair.
“It’s not you,” Joey assured him. “From my
understanding, you’re supposed to be able to
identify with Lawson but the actor doesn’t quite
convey that.”
“What are you talking about? I think he’s just fine
at portraying me.” He gazed at Joey trying to show
his support but not succeeding.
“Maybe you’re right.” Jen replied, then covered her
mouth to keep from laughing, “There is a certain
similar quality when you’re trying to make a
point.”
“Thank you.” Dawson smiled, not quite grasping the
joke.
Andie interrupted the session, “If the show actually
represented what happened the previous three years,
why am I still stuck in Italy?”
Dawson coughed to buy himself some time. “Yeah, about
that…”
“I know it was necessary to keep our parents out of
the show after the guy playing my dad passed away.
You told me that would happen. But what the fuck
gives with my character deferring a year, which you
know damn well will be permanent?”
Dawson replied, “Here’s what happened. Remember you
sent me an email joking about taking a semester off?”
Andie nodded. Well… I mentioned that. I had no idea
it would be taken seriously.”
“You didn’t see a need to fix it?”
“I might have if given the chance. Shortly after that
was the big fight.”
Joey asked, “What was that about?”
“Trying to get a little more compensation or at least
an end credit. He thinks it would have detracted from
the show if people realized he wasn’t original.”
Jen said, “He can take all the credit for this season.
But Mitch does have a point.”
Pacey replied, “I completely agree. Is everyone still
interested in the road trip?”
Joey asserted, “More so than ever. I want to kick
some ass.”
Jen answered, “Yup.” Jack and Andie nodded as well.
“We wouldn’t all be here if we were backing out.”
Dawson asked, “Where’s that boyfriend of yours?”
“Packing Pacey’s car. I figured it would be good for
him to do all the work while we discussed the purpose
of this trip.”
Pacey asked, “You mean we’re really not
telling him?”
“Eh, I want to screw around with his head for
awhile.”
“In other words, no change from usual. So is this
everything, D?” Dawson nodded. “Then let’s get our
butts out of here.” Pointing to the door, he
exclaimed, “To California.”
“I thought the show was shot in North Carolina.” Joey
pointed out. “The fans told me that it was on this
coast.”
“That’s true but the show’s on break right now. His
office is California. Right, Dawson?” Dawson nodded
hesitantly in support of Pacey’s statement. “All
right. As I was saying, everyone get up. We’re
heading to California.”
Everyone left the room except Dawson, who was left
alone with all his bags still on the floor. Shaking
his head, he tried to balance all three bags as he
stumbled out of the room.
Chapter 2
Back to Main Page