Half Asleep
Chapter 3 - Better Off
Need to Know: the Christmas disaster known as “Merry Mayhem” has occurred since the last chapter.
Pacey returned to the apartment after a grueling day in the rat hole known as his job and collapsed on the couch. It was nice to have the place to himself for a couple days. Jack and Emma were both in Europe, visiting family.
He mused that leaving the country was probably the only way to avoid the drama of gatherings. Why was it whenever the gang decided to plan something, disaster had to strike? Leave it to such a seemingly simple event to throw everything out of whack.
In this case, the occasion was Christmas dinner at the Leerys’. The most memorable of the events was clearly Audrey having his car connecting with the Leery house. The car was still in the shop, forcing him to deal with the public transportation system.
Not that there weren’t other problems, but Audrey’s were the most dire. She was worse than anyone had realized. The people who had once been her closest friends were now the ones meriting her lashings. It was odd how little time had passed since they broke up but now they were unrecognizable to each other.
That seemed to be true of the group in general. When Joey was around Eddie, she seemed a different person - whether that was a positive or not was up for debate.
Audrey: I am really sorry that Audrey Hepburn next to you broke your heart all those years ago, and it's prevented you from ever fully committing to an adult relationship, but you know what? Just grow up.
He tried to tell himself that Audrey’s words meant nothing. Correction, he needed to tell himself those words meant nothing. Joey was happy with someone else. When she looked into Eddie’s eyes, there was a love that had previously only been associated with her crush on Dawson and her year with him.
But…there was, unfortunately, truth. That was the part that terrified him more than anything. There hadn’t been anyone since breaking up with Joey who’d captured his heart. When he was with Andie, he could at least say he was completely devoted to the girl he was dating. Same even with Tamara, as screwy as that situation was.
Both of these were before Joey Potter kissed him back.
Which only made his current predicament more confusing. What he needed was a timeout.
* * * * *
“Hello.”
“Hi. Pacey, right?” He grunted a reply, not recognizing the voice just yet. “This is David. Is Jack around?”
“No, he’s in Europe.”
“Europe? Lucky bastard.” Just as Pacey thought there would be nothing more to this conversation, he was asked, “You’re close friends with him, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m having trouble figuring out exactly what’s going on between us. At first, it was fun just hanging around. But I can’t even get decent dirt out of Jen anymore. Since you live with him, I thought maybe he’s talked to you.”
Pacey doubted David would want to know how little Jack really said about him. That all Pacey knew about the guy was that Jack invited him to the concert and that his friend C.J. was the guy punched out that night. Hardly the best information. But he realized quickly what needed to be done. “Words have been exchanged on the subject.”
David let out a sigh of relief. “Finally, a beginning point. Anything you feel at liberty to spill?”
“It’s just that Jack…he isn’t necessarily the best at expressing his feelings. But…I get the impression he really likes you.”
“I didn’t think I was pond scum or anything like that. I just wondered…if you knew of anything more than that.”
“There’s more than friendly thoughts involved.”
“How can you tell?”
“It’s about how he remembers little details like…” He wracked his brain to think of any more helpful information. “What you wore to the Halloween party, for instance. I’m told you and C.J. stood out.”
David grumbled, “That wouldn’t be too difficult, given I was one of the few who didn’t know it was a costume party.”
Pacey grinned, knowing he had a solid opening. “But, see, I wouldn’t know that since I was too busy fending off blows from Audrey. I would have had to be told.” David didn’t need to know the reason he remembered was because Jen mentioned it regarding C.J., not through Jack.
“I see.”
“Tell you what. Jack’s supposed to return Thursday. He’ll probably be jetlagged that night, so Friday afternoon, call him and ask him out on a date. A real date, not some coffee talk which could easily be misinterpreted as a social call only.” That should give Pacey enough time to push Jack in the right direction.
David considered this idea, then replied, “Confrontation is the best way to deal with this.”
“Great. It’s a date. I mean, it will be a date.”
“Thanks, Pacey.” David was about to hang up when he inquired, “Are you sure Jack’s interested?”
“Absolutely. He’s crazy about you. Just a little reluctant, that’s all. You’ll see. When he’s back in town, all will be as it should.”
“I hope you’re right. Bye.”
Pacey hung up, then took a deep breath. This was what he needed to do. It didn’t make sense for Jack to be the consolation prize; he deserved better than what Pacey could offer.
* * * * *
“See, I told you I’d get home first,” Emma exclaimed proudly as soon as Jack staggered into the apartment, suitcases in tow. She was lounging on the couch, flipping through channels.
Jack offered little more than a shrug as he dropped the suitcases off in his bedroom. “Doesn’t really matter.”
“Right. If roles were reversed, you’d be saying something like ‘in your face’.”
He stepped out of his room. “Worth it just to hear you try to say that phrase,” Jack snickered. “How was your trip?”
“The usual. My mum begging me not to return to the States, my dad counting the hours until my flight back.” Emma craned her neck in Jack’s direction, seeing his attention was on a sheet of paper. “What’s that about?”
“Huh? Oh, this?” Emma nodded. “Pacey left this in my room. Just him, uh… mentioning he’s heading to a restaurant tonight. Apologizing for not welcoming us back.” Jack neglected to include the part where Pacey wanted to talk to him afterwards. Though it was fairly obvious about what.
“Couldn’t he keep it in his pants for one night?” Emma grumbled.
It took every ounce of energy for Jack to force a smile. “Jealous much?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Not of him. Of the amount of action. Maybe I’m noticing it more because I don’t have a boyfriend of my own.”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Jack said, more in an effort to convince himself than to refute Emma’s claim.
She dismissively replied, “I guess if anyone would know in this apartment, you would over me.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Jack pointed in the direction of his room. “Better get unpacked.” It wasn’t that big of a deal. After all, technically Pacey wasn’t his. Never was. Pacey could do whatever, or whoever, he wanted.
* * * * *
Pacey stood in the restaurant formerly known as Civilization. It had been little more than six months since the place closed. Since that chapter in his life existed. Professionally, he was happy then. But personally, hardly.
It was a struggle, convincing himself he was in love with Audrey. Sometime in his time with her in California, both had grown tired of the charade. He wondered how much of a role their mess of a relationship contributed to Audrey’s current state.
A new restaurant, Clarice’s, had its grand opening last week. Some of the architecture remained the same, though it had more of a feel of a pub with a seating area - a Hell’s Kitchen for the over-thirty crowd.
Even with the makeover, the place still had the charm Brecker had brought to Civilization. A restaurant a little rough around the edges. He had figured the place would be more spruced up, a complete makeover. While there were some changes, ultimately it couldn’t cover over what was there before.
Pacey waited for the hostess. He had to figure out what needed to be done to get back to the person he was before. Sure, there were some things that needed to be changed, but it had gone too far. He could barely recognize himself from the person he was when he worked in this building, much less the person from high school
By now, he figured Jack found the note. He was certain it had been the correct move not hours ago. It was, in no way, serious between them. David was the kind of guy Jack needed: a relationship, not some cheap thrill.
Certainly Jack deserved better than a person who would write a note which didn’t dismiss but made it clear there was nothing. If he could only believe what he was doing was the right move.
* * * * *
Pacey returned to the apartment late that night, preparing the speech he needed to give. He barely had time to remove his coat when he heard Jack’s voice. “Have a nice dinner?”
“Very,” he replied stoically. He saw Jack sitting on the couch, not even bothering to look his way.
“Don’t you have enough messes without pretend dates?”
“I never said I was on a date. Don’t twist my words around.”
Jack replied dismissively, “Yeah, fine. None of my concern, right?”
Pacey folded his arms across his chest. “That’s absolutely correct. Because you have someone else to deal with.”
“I do?” Jack looked over his shoulder, wondering what Pacey had done.
“David will be calling tomorrow, asking about dinner. You might want to consider it.”
“Why would I do that?”
“There a future there with him. No need to dismiss him so quickly. He seems like a good catch.”
“What’s changed here?” Jack stood up, leaning against the arm of the couch.
Pacey turned away from Jack, heading in the direction of his room. “I know who I want and it’s not you.”
Jack flinched at the words, then snapped, “You can’t even look at me and say that!” It was clear that, whatever Pacey intended, it involved trying to convince himself of a lie.
Pacey stood still, knowing that Jack was right. If he faced Jack, he’d undoubtedly continue what was started weeks ago. Much as he wanted that, it pained him to realize that couldn’t work. Not as long as these feelings lingered regarding Joey. He insisted, “This is what has to be done,” and left the room.
* * * * *
Chapter 4 - Knowing the Rules of the Game
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