Half Asleep
Chapter 4 - Knowing the Rules of the Game
Jack and David were walking toward the parking lot. It was the conclusion of their first real date. Jack couldn’t help but think how much easier this would have been without Pacey’s interference. David didn’t need to be stuck in what was essentially someone else’s mess.
Several times, Jack tried to tell David the truth. But what good would that really do? Pacey wanted to pretend none of their nocturnal interludes meant anything.
They reached Jack’s car, neither knowing quite how to end the night. Finally, David said, “It’s a little different when we have coffee when it means more than having coffee.”
“That it is,” Jack agreed, not sure what else he could say.
“I’m glad we’re now able to say we’re dating, as opposed to the undefined thing it was before,” David continued. This only made Jack tense up more, forcing a smile. This time, David noticed. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You’ve looked uncomfortable all night.”
Jack had to quickly think of a reply. “It’s just that I wonder what you and Pacey talked about. That he may have misled you.”
“Oh.” David stuffed his hands in his pockets, staring down at the pavement. “Does that mean that you were never interested in me?”
“No, it’s not that. Just…well, maybe it is that. I never said anything to Pacey about us, so I’m curious what he could have possibly said that swayed you to a date.” At least Jack could claim all of that was true, even if somewhat ambiguous.
“I see. Well, I wouldn’t blame Pacey. Maybe he embellished a little because he didn’t want to ruin your chances. I asked him if you were attracted and maybe he didn‘t know as much as he thought. So you tell me your version.”
Jack had to keep in mind that David had no idea Pacey had motives other than as a helpful friend. That was the best way to consider this situation. “I don’t know what you and I have. I enjoy hanging around you, I’m sure of that.”
“Nothing more?”
It was then that Jack noticed David still wasn’t looking his way. He had to make a decision now. Did he really want to pursue a relationship with David? Pacey was right to say that David was a catch. More importantly, he was a good guy who was available and appealing and attractive.
Jack decided now was the time to act. He bent his head down to meet David’s eyes. “That’s where I’m not sure.” He lightly brushed his lips over David’s. “But I’d like to find out.”
David offered a slight smirk. “I can accept that answer. Good night, Jack.” He turned around to head to his car.
Jack leaned against his car, watching David leave. He didn’t feel any better about this choice. It felt like he was doing this because there was danger when it came to Pacey. What he should have done was make a stand. Even as Pacey pushed him away, there was the risk this wasn’t the end of whatever the hell they had.
* * * * *
When Jack returned to the apartment, it was pitch dark. It was then that he had made a decision. It was now or never. The situation was right to get a definitive answer.
Why should he have to beat himself up over what was essentially Pacey’s problem? Up until this point, Jack had been nothing but a pawn. Pacey was the one feeling these emotions so why did Jack have to suffer as a result? No longer.
Jack slowly opened the door to Pacey’s room. He stared at the peacefully sleeping person in the bed. He wondered how it kept happening the way it did. Was the darkness a way to hide the truth or simply a turn-on?
As he continued to watch, Jack had to admit it was a little of both. Jack knew that he cared about Pacey as a friend for years. Occasional erotic fantasies aside, Jack never gave serious though to having anything happen. Yet he was still a bit mad at Pacey for his words to David.
Pacey didn’t have to admit anything as long as there was darkness. Time to change that. Jack switched on the main light.
He strode toward the bed, sitting down on the edge. Jack grazed his hand along Pacey’s cheek. He had this overwhelming need to know exactly how Pacey felt toward him. He was thankful Pacey did not appear to be thinking about Joey this time; that option wasn’t available again.
At the touch, Pacey gradually opened his eyes, first adjusting to the light then to Jack being there. He had this feeling just before waking up that Jack was near but couldn’t figure out why.
“What are you doing here?”
As a reply, Jack kissed him. Pacey wasn’t sure how to react or what the hell was his point. When Jack pulled back, Pacey’s mouth was hanging open, stunned by this. He was sure he had told Jack to go to David so this shouldn‘t be happening.
“That’s what I thought,” Jack said after gauging Pacey‘s reaction as less-than-thrilled. “You can’t handle seeing what’s in front of you. That’s why it’s always in the shadows.”
“No, you’re mistaken,” Pacey protested, now knowing Jack had set him up.
“Worse, you fantasize about a woman who has clearly moved on as a way to excuse this. Maybe you’re right to say that I deserve better than that. But don’t then turn it around so that I have no say. Everything that’s happened so far is based on your decisions. So now I’m taking a stand. You have to make up your mind.”
“That’s what I did when I told David…”
“That was a distraction. You still haven’t said anything about how you feel about this situation.” Jack stood up, taking in the sight for last time without any repercussions.
* * * * *
A few days later, Pacey came home to Emma on the couch watching TV. Another day, another grind out long day at work.
“Hello,” she called out.
Pacey grunted a reply as he headed for the kitchen to heat up dinner. Emma frowned at his sour disposition, then followed him.
She sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for him to finish mixing a can of tuna fish with mayonnaise in the bowl, then asked, “Is something wrong?”
“No, just tired.”
Emma wouldn’t let that answer slide. “That’s not a tired from work look. That’s more like I’m sick and tired from wanting to make the right decision expression.”
He grabbed a box of crackers and began eating from the bowl, sitting against the counter. “Maybe I have.”
“See, I have that intuition.” She grinned, satisfied with his answer.
Pacey remembered that Jack was at Jen’s, making it easier to discuss this. “Okay, here it goes. There’s this person who I can’t seem to get out of my mind.”
“Uh huh,” Emma replied, swiping a cracker.
“The problem is these feelings are intertwined with another person. Everything has been connected together and now I don’t know what to do.”
“Would it be safe to assume I’m neither of these people?”
Pacey chuckled lightly, “Yes, I’m sorry to say.”
“It would have been nice,” Emma joked. Then she got serious as she asked, “Have you acted yet?”
“The person I can’t stop thinking about?” She nodded. “Some action but the third person…”
Emma‘s eyes widened as she put pieces together. “Is that the real reason he left town?”
“What?” Pacey was certain Jack wouldn’t have disappeared. It was impossible; all his belongings were still here.
“Joey mentioned Eddie left town without a goodbye. Now, that sounds like a rather suspicious action given how relatively blissful those two have been.” She noticed the surprised look on Pacey’s face. “This isn’t about that?”
“They broke up?”
“Apparently so.”
Joey Potter is single again? The news he’d been waiting to hear. And yet, he wasn’t nearly as excited as he imagined he’d be.
Emma brought Pacey out of his thoughts by asking, “Which person is Joey in your problem? Is she the one getting action or the third party ruining a good time?”
“Can you pretend you don’t know the people involved?” Pacey snapped. He was aware that Emma could try to sway Joey if too much was known.
“Okay.” Emma took another cracker to buy time. “Here you go. What you need to do is speak to this third party alone. Find out where you stand with her before you have a chance to ruin a good thing with the lucky one. It isn‘t fair to carry this extra baggage into a budding relationship, especially if she is no longer important.” Emma wondered if Audrey was the other person in the problem - could she really be interfering in Pacey and Joey’s happiness. Maybe Pacey wasn’t even the one in the middle - that he and Eddie were both vying for the same woman. She continued pondering other possibilities while Pacey considered her advice.
To Pacey, what Emma said made sense. He had spent little time alone with Joey, between Eddie and the ex-girlfriend roommate. Maybe she wasn’t the person he’d been picturing. “That could work. Thanks Em.” He rushed to finish the bowl, then headed to the phone.
“You’re welcome.” Pacey brought the phone into his room, shutting the door. Emma slumped back, “He could have at least pretended it was me.”
Chapter 5 - Reality Check
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