Nowhere Fast
Chapter 19 - It’s All Been Done Before
Pacey Witter
As I was about to enter the stairwell, I was surprised by a pleasant smell permeating through the air. The whole building shared one rather small kitchen. The few times that I had any interest in heading down there, I’d find a lineup of residents waiting to use the microwave for leftovers or the stove to burn macaroni (how is that possible, anyway?) Where did real food come from?
I walked down to the kitchen, which was empty except for a pot on the stove. I peered over to see vegetables in boiling water. This definitely wasn’t the smell that carried me over here.
“Put down the wooden spoon and step away from the stove,” someone barked out. I held my hands up in the air and turned around slowly. Charlie was standing there, stirring something in a bowl using a carrot stick. Suddenly, I realized why I was here since the aroma was back. “How could you possibly think I was an authority figure?”
I dropped my arms to the sides quickly, realizing how stupid I must have appeared. “Reflex, I suppose.”
He stared down at the carrot in his hand and snickered, “Bugs Bunny would’ve been more convincing.”
“If you were really Bugs, you could have convinced me to jump into the pot. How did you manage to get the kitchen to yourself?”
“Look at the time.” 2:53. Damn, I might actually miss that phone call I came back to the dorm for. “Most people are in class right now. Normally, I am also but my Sociology professor cancelled class today. I had time to head to the warehouse store fifteen minutes from here and make some edible food.”
“Good to know. Will there be a lot of leftovers?” I asked half-expectantly.
Charlie walked over to the stove and shut off the gas. “You know an opportunity for free food when you see it. A true college student.” I could tell he wanted to try to talk me out of it, but then backed down. “Fine, just keep your mouth shut. We don’t need a crowd. I would like to have some leftovers for another day.”
“That I could do.” I sat down at the table while watching him combining everything. I’m probably the best cook in my family but I felt like I’d stepped into the back room of a restaurant right now. I don’t think I could have mixed all that stuff in the bowl without half of the contents hitting the floor. “Was there a time you wanted to be a chef?”
“Don’t sound like my dad.” He replied curtly.
“I see,” I assured. “He’s one of those type of guys. Sounds a lot like my dad. On some level, he hoped I’d become a cop.”
Charlie laughed, “You, a cop? I thought you raised your arms in the air because you were used to getting arrested.”
“How about both of the above? Once, my brother was trying to impress this lady. He thought I was being such a pest that it was necessary to show off his gun by pointing it at me.”
“I’ve never been so relieved that my family is in the restaurant business. Let’s get this upstairs. You take the bowl and that spoon.”
We gathered everything together and headed over to my room. As soon as I opened the door, the phone began ringing. Sure enough, it was 3:00. “Damn you, Lindley.” I muttered, then pointed to the floor. “Leave that pot there so nothing gets burned.” He sat down on the carpet, then rested the pot next to him. I picked up the phone and said, “I just made it.”
“You’re the one who told me to call at 3 o’clock on the nose.”
“I know. Just give me a minute.” I got up with the phone resting on my shoulder as I searched through my closet for plates and forks. I tried balancing everything but the phone fell on the floor and bounced backward.
“Watch out.” Charlie called out, then picked up the phone. “Sorry about that. Pacey’s got his hands full right now.”
With one less item to struggle with, I searched for the napkins I swiped from the cafeteria. I hadn’t immediately realized Charlie and Jen were having a conversation until I heard him laughing.
I ordered him, “Put her on speakerphone. I refuse to have you two speaking in code about me.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow, then said to Jen, “Your man is certain we’re talking about him so hold on.” He pressed the button then set the phone down.
Jen was laughing even harder than Charlie. “Pacey, I’d hate to report this but I’ll never find you sexy.”
Charlie protested, “That’s not what I meant!” To me, he said, “I tell her that it doesn’t matter what Abby says about Jack. Somehow, she got ‘sexy’ out of that.”
“That sounds like Jen.” I said to her, “What is it with you trying to find the slightest hint of chemistry and turn it into the next romance?”
She replied, “That reminds me. My birthday’s coming up and I have something in mind…”
“I already told you what I was getting you,” I complained.
“Yeah, but I don’t think it will take much to convince Drue to lock me in his bedroom for the day. Besides, it should be something I want.”
“My mistake, honey.”
I was hoping Jen would forget the reason I asked her to call at this odd time. No such luck. “I guess this means we can’t talk now, either.”
“I suppose that’s true.” I really didn’t feel like rehashing the details when she called before. I wasn’t particularly interested in rehashing the housing discussion with Joey the first time and I didn’t feel any differently now. Yet pretending to forget about her phone call wouldn’t have been wise either. She had threatened to surprise me with a visit to find out the story.
“Charlie, I hereby assign you the task of finding out and reporting your findings to me at once. I’ll talk to you another time.” Jen then hung up.
I took the spoon from the pot and began scooping out the mixture. Charlie waited for me to finish getting settled before asking, “It’s about you and Joey, isn’t it?”
I fibbed, “There isn’t such a thing. There never was.” I hoped he wouldn’t press the issue further.
“It’s a common occurrence to kiss the girl next door without consequence?”
Damn, I forgot he knew about that kiss. “There are no effects because it wasn’t important to Joey.”
“Are you blind? That girl would certainly be paying attention to your offer.”
I stared down at the food in my plate. “You can’t be sure about that.”
“Pacey, if you weren’t important, she wouldn’t be agonizing over it. Have you told her how crucial she is to you?”
“She already knows.” If people who have absolutely no clue who I am know, then of course Joey would be aware.
“And she told you that there wasn’t a chance in hell she would ever fall for you?”
“Noooo…”
He took a bite from his plate, made a quick nod of approval, then continued, “That type of answer can only mean you haven’t told her because you don’t want to confirm these doubts. They’re unsubstantiated.”
“You don’t understand. Just because you happen to observe our comings and goings, maybe a conversation with Jack thrown in, doesn’t mean you have any clue.” I could see why Jack said he had a way of being incredibly annoying at times.
“That’s not how it works. All I see is that you kissed her and she never answered your plea. Instead of making half-assed assumptions, there is one simple solution. Talk. To. Her.”
I stood up and headed to my closet to search for anything to keep me away from his annoyed look. “It isn’t that easy. Do you have any idea what it’s like to realize you’re in love with a close friend?”
“I have a vague idea.” He cautiously replied.
“As long as you’re ignorant of the fact that person doesn’t share those feelings, you can get through the day.” I grabbed a can of soda from the bottom of the pile and returned to my seat.
“This is going through the day?” Charlie replied in disbelief. “Doesn’t the fact you’d rather tell me than your closest friend from high school prove there’s a problem? Maybe in the beginning you could have been fine with that strategy. You could keep a distance from her. A kiss between two people as close as you and Joey is never just a kiss. Claiming otherwise is ridiculous. She may have been repulsed but it would still be an emotion.”
“Right, so I should tell her the truth and discover she was disgusted. That wouldn’t be the least bit humiliating.” I snidely remarked.
“No, but it would confirm what you suspect is true. Why you’d think that I don’t know.”
I shut my eyes closed. I wasn’t quite sure why I thought that either. “Do you really suppose I’m wrong?”
“I believe you’re mistaken.” He replied sincerely.
With that, I opened my eyes and finally took a bite. “Wow, I could see why your dad pushed you into the culinary arts.”
“I suppose.” He resumed eating without saying anything more about that. If his dad was in any way similar to mine, I could understand him not elaborating further.
Joey and I were no closer than before to a way to retaliate against Abby but I realized it was only fair that he should be aware. “Would you care about us getting back at Abby?”
“She would deserve it. Jack already asked for my permission. I’ll tell you what I said to him. Do whatever you want; just don’t ask me for any confident information.”
“That’s not a problem. I’m sure there will be a moment where she will feel the need to confess, hopefully in a public setting.” I snickered.
“There you go. Maybe she could have a broken light. She could discover Chris with another girl.” He grinned mischievously at that inspiration.
I beamed with excitement. “I like the way you think.”
“For some reason, I don’t think that would be very difficult.” He glanced up at me, which was enough to set me off in a fit of laughter. Charlie tried to keep a straight face but soon found himself covering his mouth with his free hand.
Once I could control my breathing, I said, “You realize that when Abby finds out how this is happening, you’re a dead man.”
“By then, I’d hope that she’s regained her senses and can understand how stupid she’s been about the threesome… er, I mean, about the three of you.”
“If you’re wrong?”
Charlie considered this for a minute, then responded, “I guess there’s not much that could be done. It wouldn’t be a huge loss.” He sounded more as if he was trying to convince himself that was true.
“Why are you helping?” I had a hunch there was a little more than Abby’s deceit as the true cause.
“Didn’t we go through this at the diner?” He exasperatedly replied.
“You’ve been defending us before Abby ever had that plan. More accurately, you’ve been defending Jack before that if my calculations are correct.”
He finished off his plate then watched as I continued eating. “I don’t think I like where this is heading.”
“And where am I heading?” I coyly asked, then flashed an impish grin. When he didn't answer, I answered myself, “Apparently, nowhere. So I’m speeding this up. Are you attracted to Jack?”
Charlie raised his hand to his forehead deep in thought. “I don’t know what it is.”
“It’s a simple yes or no question.” Even though I was pretty certain from his reaction the answer was yes.
“Maybe so, but there hasn’t been a change to the dynamic yet. There’s no need to reply to such nonsense.”
I saw the irony of this situation and decided to jump at the opportunity. “How can you possibly give me advice in which I confront Joey when you can’t even follow through on that?”
“The only reason I said that to you was because you kissed Joey! I have not kissed Jack.”
“Though I’m sure you want to.” I countered with an amused grin.
“I don’t… that’s to say, it’s not… do you want any more?” At my confusion, he held up the pot.
I shook my head. He stood up, then grabbed the pot and the bowl from the floor. “I hope I’m able to catch you cooking again. Maybe you could even teach me because I’m pretty good, but nothing like this.”
“Not a bad idea. Just do me one favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t go spouting those dim-witted theories to Jack.” He stared down at the floor. “You don’t need to rile him up regarding something that couldn’t poss…possibly be true. Got that?”
“That I can do.”
* * * * *
Jack McPhee
“Andie,” I exclaimed as I dragged the phone into the hallway and slowly shut the door behind me. “What could possibly be that important?” I sat down on the floor leaning against the wall.
Andie pretended to have no idea what I meant. “Are you annoyed with me?”
I replied sarcastically, “No, I love the ambiance of the hallway so much more than my room.”
“I can’t help it that you pissed off Pacey enough for him to throw you out.”
“ I did?” I shrieked. “Why did I defend you anyway? You’re driving me crazy!”
She was back to being irritating. “Jack! You don’t understand! This is very important.”
“I’m hanging up on you now. I mean it, I am.”
“Please don’t,” she pleaded. “I promise to be good. Well, a little bit better, anyway.”
“You promise not to bring up that subject again?” I warned her.
“I promise.” Though I knew that if I could see her right now, she’d probably have her fingers crossed behind her back.
I heard a door close shut and saw Charlie standing there, trying to figure out what was going on. There, finally, was an opportunity. “See what you’ve done. You’ve woken up the dead.”
Charlie whispered, “I don’t mind.” I gave him a pleading look. He sighed, then said louder in a monotone, “Don’t you know it’s late? People are trying to sleep.”
Thankfully, Andie bought the act, “Okay, I guess I can talk to you about this tomorrow. Good night.”
“Go to bed and stop worrying.” In a nicer tone, I added, “Talk to you later.” As soon as I hung up, I said to Charlie, “You don’t know how appreciative I am…”
He waved me toward him. “Let’s get out of the hallway. Even though I wasn’t asleep, there are people engaged in such an odd activity.”
“Yeah, okay, let me just return the phone to my room and I’ll be right there.” I slowly turned the knob, careful that the door wouldn’t creak, and dropped the phone back inside. I shut the door, then walked into Charlie’s room. It was almost by instinct at this point - no different than if it was Joey’s room.
I collapsed down on his floor, as if I’d just ran up ten flights of stairs, and exclaimed, “Explain why I even bother to answer the phone when it’s an off campus call at 2 a.m. It is either a lonely bastard who has nothing better to do than make prank calls or my sister. Neither of which I can handle at that time of night.”
“Pacey was sleeping at a reasonable hour?” Charlie sat Indian-style on the floor, leaning against his bed.
“He was actually in the bathroom. As soon as he exited and realized Andie was on the phone, he told me to end it because he was exhausted from studying.”
“What if Andie was having a serious crisis? It would have been rude.”
“Do you want to know why she called?” I challenged as I quickly shot up into a sitting position. “She got a B on her English paper. A fucking B!” I threw my hands over my forehead in disgust as I mockingly replied, “It’s the end of the world, you know. Brown University will kick her out for such an offense.”
“She’s just starting a life of crime. First, it’s a B. Next thing you know, she’ll stoop to stealing tests just so she can get that A she so desires.” He shook his head. “It’s just a moment ready to ruin a potential political career.”
“Funny, she hasn’t used that excuse yet. Andie’s more concerned about graduate schools seeing the blemish. If you two should ever meet, promise me you’ll never, ever say that to her face.”
He nodded emphatically. “Deal.” We exchanged glances then burst out laughing. “Change of subject?”
“Certainly.” I agreed that this wasn’t exactly a worthy conversation. Unfortunately, since I still tired due to the time of night, I couldn’t think of much else to say except… “So, I heard that Pacey’s trying to get free cooking lessons.”
Charlie kidded, “How else is he going to make you that gourmet dinner?” If there was still one thing that he could say that absolutely annoyed me, it was jokes regarding that fleeting Pacey crush. It’s a little easier when Joey had said it since she was just diverting the attention from herself. Yes, the correct word is fleeting. I was thankful that phase was over.
I corrected him, “You mean Joey and, yes, I think that would be an excellent idea.”
“Why? You wouldn’t deserve to be on the other side of that dinner?” He let out a quick chuckle.
I groaned, “That’s really not funny. I’d be more than thrilled never to hear another joke like that again.”
“Because it’s too close to the truth or because it isn’t?”
“I will admit it was true. Thankfully, it’s over. I realized Pacey is the only one for Joey.
“That’s a relief.” Charlie got up off the floor and sat down on his bed. “It wasn’t healthy.”
“Look who’s talking! Who was the person picturing that hookup?”
“That was a joke! It was meant to amuse Abby more than anything else!” He protested, then calmed down a little. “Besides, I didn’t know either of you at the time. That’s not how I picture my friends.”
Remembering what he said regarding his journal, I teased, “So it’s just strangers in that kinky porn you write?”
He looked confused at first, then seemed to recall the joke and laughed. “Of course. It’s so much better with Heath Ledger.”
“And boyfriends, right?”
“Hmmm?” Charlie was taken aback by the question. He then replied offhandedly, “Yeah, I suppose that would make sense.”
“Meaning you don’t. I guess that’s reserved for people who don’t have sex lives.”
“I’m sorry but my fantasies are a little different than yours.” He snapped back.
I sighed, “Thanks a lot.”
“You could easily find someone to have sex with, Jack. If that’s what you really want, go for it. Gary wouldn’t object to that offer. Trust me.”
I ran into Gary again earlier today. I wasn’t quite sure if he was just trying to get laid or finding a way to spite Charlie. Either way, the guy was proving to be more of a self-centered asshole with each meeting. “Does it really seem like I’m that desperate?”
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t see you two having an intelligent conversation so what else is there?”
“I don’t think there is anything there. If Abby hadn’t shown up at that moment, I probably would have blown him off anyway.” I could see Charlie trying not to show he was relieved by that news. “Why, is someone jealous?”
Charlie scoffed, “Jealous? There’s nothing to be jealous about. You just said.” He then corrected himself, “Not that I have any reason to think anything whether there was something going on or not, of course. I’m just concerned, that’s all. You worried Abby.”
“You’re lying!”
“Well, she was a little concerned.” He conceded. “She can’t stand him.”
“That doesn’t mean anything! Abby can’t stand anyone!” I pointed out as I got up off the floor and sat on his roommate’s bed.
“I meant for legitimate reasons. I was friends with him when I met Abby. Well, I thought we were friends anyway. He thought it was flirting. That’s still his argument - that it was all foreplay. He was the first person I was ever…” Charlie gestured in an attempt to find the best way to phrase it, then sighed, “with intimately. To Gary, it was all a fucking game to get laid. Abby was one of the few people to see through his stupid story.”
In other words, it sounded like Gary was trying to get laid and revenge. “Look, he’s not an issue anymore. Besides, he clearly had an ulterior motive. It just couldn’t work out.” I shook my head, “I can’t believe that Abby would actually be one of the positive ones.”
“It can occur. Just not yet this year. That’s why I’m supportive of revenge plans.” Charlie rubbed his hands against his jeans, thinking carefully of his next words. “I know that I have this reputation for sleeping around. I don’t exactly deny it’s not true sometimes. Occasionally I think that even Abby has trouble figuring out what’s real, what’s exaggerated and what’s bullshit. That’s the disadvantage to writing off everything as a joke. You can’t tell where the story ends and the real life begins.”
Since there were times in the past when I jumped to conclusions, I figured that was what he meant. “Are you thinking I don’t believe you?”
“No, I don’t mean that. I’m just… trying to clarify what you may have heard. Because…I don’t know, it seemed necessary. Just thought I’d say that before you went back to your room.” He snickered, “But you don’t have to stop being friends with Gary because of something I told you. It’s all ‘he said, he said’.”
I got on my feet. “It wouldn’t have mattered. The problem was that he’s a dick. Nothing more than that.”
Charlie gave a half-smile, “Ahh, so you really do know him. Good night.” As I was walking to the door, he added, “Tell Andie that graduate schools would only be concerned if she got a B minus on that English essay. Because that would be appalling.”
I spun quickly back around, spotting the same foam ball that Charlie had been tossing in a previous meeting here. I picked it up and threw it at him, whacking him on the shoulder. He couldn’t figure out exactly what had hit him so he searched around his bed until he spotted the ball.
Charlie stared at the object. A small smile crept on his face as he slowly glanced sideways at me. I backed up as I realized there were two different problems at the same time. “You’re getting it.” He threatened and picked up the ball and tossed it gingerly upward. I quickly opened the door and exited the room, just in time to hear a muffled plop against the other side of the door.
That was one problem down. Now I just have to hope that I can hang around Charlie without thinking about how I wanted to walk forward, instead of backward, and kiss him instead of leaving.
* * * * *
Joey Potter
I was gathering dirty clothes when there was a pounding at the bathroom door. I barely got the door open as Pacey exclaimed, “We need to talk.”
“Pacey, not now. I have to get down to the laundry room.”
“Come on, Jo. Are you always gonna have an excuse?”
I didn’t quite understand what he was implying. Right now, there was a more pressing problem. “I have a load in the washing machine that’s almost done. Last time I did laundry, I got back down five minutes after it finished and found my blanket was stolen. I don’t want to take that chance with my whites and delicates. I was just getting the second load together.”
“So you’ll be downstairs? Mind if I join you?”
“This can’t wait?” He shook his head. I sighed, “Fine.”
I threw the last shirt into the laundry basket, picked it up and headed out. Pacey followed me as I walked downstairs to the laundry room. I loaded the only empty washing machine, occasionally glancing in Pacey’s direction. He walked over to an unused dryer and jumped up to sit on it.
I could guess what he wanted to talk about. Or, at least, I was hoping I could guess what he wanted to talk about. Please let him say that he didn’t think the kiss was a mistake.
Once I set the machine and it began washing, I headed over to where Pacey was sitting. “Saving that dryer for me?”
“Of course. I have found that this particular dryer is the only one that comes close to actually doing the job of drying the clothes. The others require you to either hang them to dry the rest of the time or to add quarters.”
“You came down here to impart your laundry services?” I asked skeptically.
“No, well, dirty laundry maybe. That’s a little more interesting.” He glanced at the door, “Do you think anyone else is coming?”
“Well, Yolanda was the only other person using the facilities and she started as I went back upstairs.” I then replied irritably, “So what’s the big secret?”
“I’m not so sure it’s a secret…” He stared up at the ceiling, then back at me, “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
“I can’t… I don’t understand.”
“This will sound so strange but I can’t seem to get anything right. I know in my head exactly what I want to say and be the perfect guy. I have to blow it by doing something incredibly stupid. That’s about the only thing that doesn’t fail.”
“Pacey…” I edged closer and tried to get him to look at me, but he wasn’t having that. He weaved away from holding a gaze for more than a second, hoping that I didn’t have time to read the hurt in his eyes. “I don’t see where you’ve failed.”
“I’ve failed in being the type of guy that deserves the attention of a girl like you. I’m sick of feeling these pangs of doubt whenever someone makes an innocent comment about you. I’m sick of thinking that everyone is right. Why would you want to be around people who are directionless and have not even a vague idea of what they want out of life?”
“That sounds like something Dawson would say.” I pointed out. Then remember that it sounded like something he’d say because he did say that when he visited. “That’s not how I feel about you. I don’t think you’re holding me back. Besides, regardless of what happens, I thought I could always count on you to help with a problem.”
“Ahh, nice move, use one of my nice-guy moments.”
“See, I really do have a problem and I think you’re the only one who could help me.” I pulled him off the clothes dryer so we were standing eye to eye.
He let out a deep sigh, “Joey, I can’t be the one to help you. I tried being the friend and it’s no longer possible…”
I cut him off before he had the chance to voice what he thought I thought of him. “I promise, if you can help me with this problem, I will leave you alone if that’s your desire. But it is essential that you help me before you say anything.”
“I know I’m going to wish I didn’t stop myself from finishing that sentence but go ahead.”
“Thank you.” I hoped that what I was thinking of saying wouldn’t sound completely ridiculous. I moved my hand under his chin so he’d be forced to face me. “Now, I have this friend who is incredibly hard on himself. The guy is convinced that he made the most foolish decision since school started by kissing his close friend. He has a problem believing that the close friend could ever think of him in a romantic manner.” A smile began to form on his face. “Why, I have no idea, since he’s such a wonderful guy. He’s warm and kind and considerate.” I kissed him softly on his cheek. “He’s not exactly an awful-looking person either so I have no idea where this is coming from.” I focused back on his eyes, which lit up and seemed to sparkle. “I wish I knew what to do.” I brushed my lips against his teasingly, then slowly pulled away.
Pacey cleared his throat before answering, “Well, if you want my advice…I’d say you should handle this guy and stick by him.” He pressed his lips back to mine, then whispered. “Because he’s sure to wake up from this phase and realize that he shouldn’t have these crazy thoughts.”
“That’s very good to know.” I pressed him against the clothes dryer as I kissed him along his neck. “You wouldn’t want that type of interference.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist. “That would definitely be an obstacle.”
I squirmed away from him as I said, “Good, then I know what to tell my date on Friday night.”
“What?” Pacey was puzzled by this sudden change. “Wait, what were you talking about?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, you’re not available that time? It was rather presumptuous of me to believe you’d be free.”
“Of course.” He let out a cough. “Yeah, I’m free Friday night.”
“Good then. This talk is over, right? Because as much fun as this has been, I really prefer emptying the whites and delicates load alone. Someday in the future maybe, you know, when you deserve the honor.”
Pacey stared at me in disbelief, then began to walk away. “Yeah, I’d say that talk was helpful.”
Chapter 20 - Wheels in Motion
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