This fic is for those who actually thought I was worthy of Writer of the Month. As a result of that, I kinda rushed it out - there was an hour left of that month when written. You can also blame Nashville Star, as that’s where I fell in love with the song.
Summary: Dawson and Pacey have a rare bonding moment.
Rating: PG
Pairing: The dreaded triangle.
Need to Know: In “Joey Potter and the Capeside Redemption,” I am assuming Joey left for Paris after Dawson finished shooting the movie
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.
* * * * *
Pacey sat on the dock, looking over at the Potter B&B. A boat was practically begging to be swiped and rowed over to the other side. The moonlight shone the path to follow.
But for what? Joey wasn’t on the other side. She was in Paris, living in the world she thought only lived in fantasies.
The crackle of leaves interrupted the silence, then a person sat down next to him. “It’s not easy.”
“No, it isn’t. How can you stand to see that every time you look out the window?”
Dawson offered, “Staying hypnotized by a computer screen makes it so much easier.”
“Too bad I can barely string sentences together on a sheet of paper. So there’s a new script in the works?”
“Yeah, which seems strange since there’s still work to do on the current one. But I need one night away from thinking about high school. That’s where this new story fits in. It’s about two people meeting and falling in love in New York.”
“Not Paris?” Pacey raised an eyebrow skeptically. “You shock me.”
“It’s actually the result of a conversation with Jen. She was describing a date with C.J.”
“Are they still good?”
“For now. It’s hard to tell how seriously their fights are, considering they both thrive on make-up sex.”
“At least both have the same kinky loves.”
“Suppose.” Dawson shrugged it off. “So, hopefully, this film, or success from the current film, will help me move on.”
“How will rehashing the past help?”
“It won’t. But if it does well enough in a festival, I can move back to California, thereby not seeing that house anymore.”
“You’ll still see that house,” Pacey insisted, though talking more about himself. “Every time you close your eyes.”
“I wish that wasn’t true,” Dawson sighed, knowing if there was one person who might understand how he felt right now, it was Pacey.
Pacey chuckled at the absurdity of this conversation. “This is sad and pathetic, you know that.”
“What is?”
“That fact that we have fought over this girl for so long that it wrecked our friendship. Yet because she shattered both our hearts, here we are suddenly bonding over it. I somehow don’t think this was the way Joey intended for us to repair the damage.”
“Yeah, this can’t be healthy.” Dawson finally took his eyes off the B&B and faced Pacey. “We both have to move on.”
“I know.” Pacey stood up, willing himself to leave this spot. “But it won’t happen here.”
“Quite true. It’ll take time. Considering we’d been working together on the movie the last few months, I really thought it would be easier to handle her departure. We were able to stay friends, work well together, basically everything we used to have when we were younger. But, now with her gone, it’s as though we broke up all over again.”
“Same here. Last night, I spent most of the night staring out the window. I hadn’t even noticed when it went from moonlight to sunlight.” Pacey looked forlornly back at the water.
Dawson stared in that direction as well. “That’s better than flipping through scrapbooks of photos from childhood. I could claim all I want that it was motivated by the film. Now that the film’s over, there’s no excuse to hide behind. Focusing on another project is the only way I won’t be trapped by Joey.”
“Like you, I’ll be focusing on work-related stresses as well.”
“New job?” To Dawson’s knowledge, the only work Pacey had been doing since returning to Capeside was collecting the money for the film project.
“Yeah, working in the kitchen of a steakhouse in Provincetown. When I found out the owner is a friend of Brecker’s, it seemed a perfect fit. So I’ll use that as my distraction until I figure out what I really want to do with the rest of my life.”
“At least it’s a beneficial distraction.” Dawson stared down at the boat tied to the dock. “We both know that boat only has one destination.”
“Straight to her,” Pacey muttered. “Inevitably, we will end up trying again because we don’t know any other way. Joey will set foot in Capeside and the animosity between us will return.”
Dawson continued the story, “Her boyfriend will be in tow but it won’t matter in the slightest because he’ll be seen as just another obstacle to overcome.”
“See, I wouldn’t see it as an obstacle. If it turns out she’s happy with someone else, that would be my signal that she’s part of the past and it’s time to let go, this time for good. If Eddie had been the one, and for awhile I think she thought he was, I would concede defeat. In fact, I did think that, right up until she forced me to admit otherwise.”
“Oh.” This was the first he’d heard about Pacey and Joey’s brief reunion from the involved parties. Joey wasn’t willing to divulge details to him, not surprisingly. Any information Dawson had was through, of all people, Doug, who had been subjected to having Pacey as a roommate the last couple of months. “I just assumed it was all about Eddie this past year.”
“It was all about him wandering in and out of her life so she wouldn’t have to deal with anything real. Imagine that.” Pacey backed that up with a knowing smirk.
“Hmm,” Dawson murmured, having no room to argue that point. “So you wouldn’t care if she then decided that said boyfriend is just another part of the fantasy life?”
“Meaning that she’d still be stuck between us? I refuse to let that possibility invade my thoughts. I’d rather at least make a solid attempt at moving on. I’d like to think that Audrey was wrong when she claimed I could never commit to an adult relationship and I’ll never find out if I’m stuck on that prospect.”
“Until then, we’ll sit by the window late at night and stare out at the creek. See who will be the first to move on.”
“I didn’t say my heart and my head were on the same page. If I don’t hold on to the hope that this mourning will end eventually, I might as well retreat back to my soap operas.”
“Meanwhile, I’ll still be sifting through footage of the movie, forced to relive everything.”
“At least you can rewrite the ending to your liking.”
“Maybe so.” Dawson felt that as good news, for some reason. “I think I’ll try writing that script now. I don’t want to think about this anymore. ’Night.”
Pacey nodded absently as Dawson passed him. “I’ll try to do the same. Later.” He watched Dawson retreat back to the house, then gave one last look back at the creek. He walked over to the end of the dock and bent down, swishing his hand in the cool water, as though he could communicate with Joey, whispering, “Though I don’t think it’ll happen tonight. Goodnight, Jo.”
Am I dreaming
Or is that the morning sunlight shining in
I can’t believe it
I was so sure my world was coming to an end
I may never live to see
The day your memory lets me go
But I made it through the night
That’s one in a row
My heart’s still beating
Even though it’s broken right in two
The odds are even
There’s still some hope that I’ll get over you
Will I make it through the day
Girl, it’s hard to say, I just don’t know
But I made it through the night
That’s one in a row
One less endless night without you
Missing everything about you until dawn
One more sunrise to remind me
Leave yesterday behind me
‘Cause it’s gone
This is only the beginning
I’ve got a lifetime to go
But I made it through the night
That’s one in a row
“One in a Row” - Buddy Jewell
end
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