Somewhere Else

Chapter 1 - Different Song and Dance

“Did you enjoy laying on the beach, scaring the locals?”

Joey had been carefully unpacking suitcases before the interruption. Upon hearing her roommate’s voice, she scowled. She’d hoped he had to work tonight but it wasn’t to be. “You do realize it’s been around the freezing mark so far this winter.”

“I’ll rephrase the question.” Charlie walked around the bed so he was facing her. “Did you and Dawson start making out and thereby scaring the locals?”

Although Dawson had been in town for the majority of winter break, she was thankful that this was the first significant amount of time they’d spent together without the dreaded discussion about reuniting. Both of them single and not bringing up that subject? On that alone, Joey considered it a better-than-average trip to Capeside.

“I assume you’ve been taking advantage of my absence by bringing strange creatures in the apartment.”

Charlie reminded her, “Remember who’s currently paying your living expenses, Joey.”

“I will have a job. Shortly. Besides, you agreed with me when I considered quitting.”

“I still do. That guy had been harassing you for months and you weren’t given a chance there. That doesn’t mean it gave you the right to knee him in the balls. I think I speak for forty-nine percent of the population when I say that’s just not right.”

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” Joey shrugged.

“Uh huh. Nobody should be quoting from that movie, either. Unless someone convinces you to carry a watermelon without a valid reason.”

“At least he’ll be reminded of me every time he tries to ‘have lunch’ with the mistress.” She raised an eyebrow. “Maybe even with his wife.”

“I seriously doubt he has sex with his wife. You have seen her.”

“True. Anyway, I have an interview with a music magazine tomorrow.”

“You’ve been back for two hours and already have an interview? You’re insane!”

Joey closed her eyes and collapsed back on her bed. “How else do you think I’ve managed to live here?”

“You’re friends with Drue Valentine. Therefore, I assumed it was connected to some pharmaceutical.”

She laid her fingers on the pillow, preparing to aim and fire at him. “You’re such a bitch.”

“I’ve learned from the best, in case you’ve forgotten.” Charlie backed up, knowing full well by now that he was dealing with someone too tired to have a real discussion.

Joey retorted blandly, “Get laid.”

“I think you need it more, my dear.” He gave a smirk, then left before the pillow she threw could connect.

Joey grabbed another pillow and buried her face, shouting obscenities through the material. As what she normally did when her roommate was being a pain in the ass. It wasn’t so much fun, Joey quickly realized, to argue with your roommate when there was nothing sexual involved.

She wondered every day how she ended up indebted to Charlie. When she transferred from Rutgers University to NYU a year and a half ago, she figured she’d be able to find a suitable place to live. She underestimated how expensive the Big Apple truly was. As luck, or misfortune depending on the day, would have it, Charlie had moved back to NY after graduation and was currently living in what amounted to a closet. So they pooled their resources together and were able to afford a reasonably priced two-bedroom apartment to share.

Joey wandered into the living room to the phone, wondering aloud, “Any calls while I was gone?” She found a stack of papers and began flipping, commenting, “Junk call, junk call, Jen get a clue, deal with this next week, junk call.” She dumped the sheets in the nearby garbage pail.

“Weren’t most of those from John?” Charlie called out from his desk.

“Like I said, junk call.” John was the most recent dating misadventure. Jen Lindley had fixed them up three weeks ago. Supposedly, John was a catch because of his ambitions - he’s currently in law school. He was also a prestigious prick who didn’t understand that “I’d rather sort my CD collection” was a polite way of saying “I never want to see you again.” It wasn’t too surprising when Joey discovered later that Jen met him because Drue was selling the guy bogus stock tips.

“How many disasters is it now?”

“Let’s see,” Joey plopped down on the plush couch she’d found at a tag sale for twenty bucks. “Four from Jen, three from Drue disguised as ‘evening out the number at the table.’ And, lest we forget there was that casting director you wanted me to schmooze.”

He sighed, “How could I forget? You won’t let me!” Charlie was your basic struggling actor in New York City. Currently, he had a role in a rather cheap-looking Off-Broadway show with some long, bizarre title that everyone would deliberately mangle. It was almost comical that he’d keep finding work in these obscure productions with these suspicious characters.

“I wish those two would leave me alone. Just get fucking married, have four kids and a second home in the Hamptons and get their own lives to fuck up.”

“You could save everyone trouble by going back with Pacey.”

“Uh huh. I don’t think Lisette would appreciate that.”

“Not your problem. You made a mistake when you broke up with him. He’d dump that freak in a second.”

“It’s not nice to call someone names based on their appearance.” Her appearance was multiple piercing and, last they knew, blue hair.

“All I’m saying is there’s something wrong with a person who sells thinly-disguised versions of her sex life to some newspaper. She’s the fucking Carrie Bradshaw of the underground punk scene. How Pacey has been able to avoid that shit and stay around her is one of the great mysteries of our time.”

“If I was getting paid like that, I’d sell my sex stories as well.”

Charlie got out of his chair and circled around Joey on the couch, drawling out, “Yeah, because you’ve had so much experience that someone would give you a weekly column. We all know you’re such a whooore, Joey Potter.”

When he passed in front of her, Joey whacked his leg. Charlie laughed as he returned to his desk. Joey crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. “I could be if I wanted.”

“The only way you could be a whore would be if you were role-playing with Pacey.”

She sharply glared at him, then got up and stomped back to her room. Before shutting the door, she exclaimed the only reply she could think of. “Fuck off.”

* * * * *


Jack returned to his dorm room, carrying a suitcase and two duffle bags, to find Pacey on the phone. Judging by his lounging position on the bed and his silence, it was safe to assume that Lisette was on the other end. Jack shook his head, amazed that Pacey had been committed to this one.

Pacey nodded in his direction and held a finger up, indicating that he’d be right off the phone. While waiting, Jack dropped the bags by the desk and began unpacking the suitcase by the closet.

It was amusing in a way that when Jack left for the winter break, Pacey was talking to Lisette. Here it was, almost four weeks later, and it was exactly the same position. Maybe he’d really been sitting there for the month - with Lisette, that wouldn’t be a shock.

Jack hadn’t realized that Pacey had gotten off the phone until he felt an arm draped around his shoulder. “So, Jackers, how did the great people of New York City treat you?” Jack had gone home to Providence for a couple of weeks, then spent the last week of vacation crashing at Jen’s family’s apartment.

Pacey sat down on a duffle bag while Jack closed the suitcase and sat there. “Jen was able to get the missus away. Drue had to visit his dad, wherever that may be, for that particular week.”

“In other words, it was paradise.” Jen and Drue were at that stage when it seemed only a matter of time before Drue would propose to her. The two had been talking marriage, a subject that with their parents’ sticky situations would normally seem unapproachable. Jen insisted that wasn’t the case while everyone else was placing bets on the day. That said, nobody could imagine what would happen if they seriously went through with it.

“Joey was still in Capeside so I didn’t see her. I’m told she’s still single. The John experiment was another disaster.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Pacey never particularly liked hearing about Joey’s romantic entanglements, especially now that he was considered part of her past disasters. She had ended their relationship and it’d taken Pacey a long time to get over that. It wasn’t until he met Lisette about six months ago that this had actually happened.

Jen mentioned in the time that Jack was alone with her that Joey had finally regretted that particular decision. Obviously, that wasn’t meant to be public knowledge so everyone else had to keep dropping hints and hoping Pacey and Lisette would come to their natural conclusion.

“It’s such a shame too. You’d think that this time would have been successful.”

“Maybe Jen should stop using that damn Rolodex. Flipping pages is not the best matchmaking strategy.”

“I think Jen just doesn’t want Joey to be alone forever.” Jack glared pointedly at Pacey, who looked away and focused on the calendar on the desk.

He replied curtly, “She chose to be alone. I didn’t. I do recall Jen being annoying when it came to this area so I understand the predicament.” Pacey got up from his spot and settled against the desktop. “Anyway, I’m happy with Lisette. Why sacrifice a healthy relationship to return to that mess?”

Jack shrugged, “Because you’re happier bantering with Joey than nodding and agreeing with someone else. That’s what I see.”

That caused Pacey to laugh loudly. “You’re the expert on healthy relationships all of a sudden? I mean, maybe you’re right, Jack. You have two different guys to compare.”

“That’s not a secret. We’re not an exclusive couple anyway.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Charlie is thrilled to know that you’re fucking Michael on the side. Or is Charlie the one on the side? I can never remember the order.”

Jack narrowed his eyes at Pacey. He knew it was pointless to explain that situation any further. He couldn’t explain why it worked and there was no reason to analyze it to death.

Pacey wasn’t going to get a reply; he never did. So he opted to change the subject. “I got some info on the new guy.” At Jack’s raised eyebrow, Pacey pointed at the bathroom door.

Since Joey moved out after their first semester, the room next door had been occupied by a studious grad student who was fine with not interfering in the neighbors’ affairs. Now that he received his PhD last month, the guys were forced to deal with someone new.

He continued, “The R.A. informed me he’s a junior transfer from UCLA.”

“Why would anyone transfer from there to here?”

“I don’t know. I just hope he’s in no way connected to Dawson Leery.”

“That would be a gruesome coincidence.”

As if on cue, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Pacey opened it, only to be greeted with a blast of Blink 182 music, or a reasonable facsimile of that. There stood this guy wearing a too-big sweatshirt and baggy jeans. The guy they’d shortly know as “The Nemesis”.

He faked a stoner accent - or at least, it seemed fake to them - as he joked, “Hey man. I didn’t realize this door led to another galaxy.”

Pacey rolled his eyes and muttered, “Certainly not your world.” Louder, he said, “Welcome to Rutgers.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be a blast,” he muttered sarcastically. “A friend of my mom’s has a daughter who graduated from here. The perfect little bitch. So since I was sucking my family’s money out of UCLA, they thought I should be closer to home.”

Pacey nodded along, not particularly caring for his attitude so far. “So you’re from this area?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. Once you’re in California, you don’t really want to come back to home sweet dump.” He scanned the guys’ room. “How can two people share a room that small?”

“Cost makes certain decisions easier.” The guys knew the room was undersized but they were able to handle it. A small price to pay given how high their expenses would be after this semester. Pacey figured he’d be getting an apartment in New York City toiling away on the bottom rung of some company. Jack had been applying to grad schools; he became interested in teaching after a stint as a teaching assistant last year.

The neighbor scoffed, “Seems a little gay to me. But desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose.”

Pacey turned back to see Jack sitting in a chair, his eyes narrowed on the neighbor. Knowing that there was no need to start up trouble on the first day, Pacey stated in a tone more befitting of a recording, “I guess you’re the lucky one. I’m Pacey Witter and he’s Jack McPhee.”

He nodded over Pacey’s shoulder to Jack, then said, “Frank Strickler at your service. I’m gonna check out what this place has to offer. Hopefully, there’s more than what I’ve seen so far.”

As soon as the door shut, Jack mumbled, “This will be a long semester.”

Pacey walked over to his bed and crashed down. “Maybe if we ignore it, it will go away.”

“Why do I feel like we’re heading back to our first semester? You know, dealing with Abby Morgan all over again. She could even be the ‘perfect little bitch’.”

“Jack,” Pacey complained, “Are you trying to think of the worst case scenario? It’s not her!” He shook his head, insisting, “Absolutely not! Logically, we’ve got the head start. We’re the ones in charge. If he’s out of line in any way not connected to being a dumbass, we’ll be able to counter it.”

Chapter 2 - She's Ba-a-a-ack
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