Jen pops up at my apartment late in the evening, carrying several containers of ice cream. She gives me a quick hello, then darts right over to Bessie on the couch.
I leave them alone, heading back into the kitchen to fix myself a sandwich. I peer over at the two ladies chatting away. Bringing back memories of when Gretchen would hold sleepovers.
You'd never know that Jen and Bessie have only been friends for the last couple of years. Both were dealing with philandering husbands at the time. Although how Jen could possibly trust a guy she wed after knowing him for two months is a mystery to me. Even though the union was a tumultuous year and a half, it did produce a beautiful son named Simon.
It's not like she has sworn off men; she recent moved in with a software developer she met while visiting her parents in New York. The three of them now live in Boston, although they make frequent visits back to Capeside.
"Noel called earlier today to tell me that Simon took his first steps. I can't believe I missed it." Jen reports as she opens the pint of strawberry swirl while holding two spoons in her hand. "It freaked him out enough so that he thought he was videotaping it but forgot to check if the red light was on. He is so cute when he's on edge."
Bessie snorts, "Your guy is always on edge."
I interrupt them, "So this is pretty serious?"
Jen holds out her hand, showing off an engagement ring, "I will soon be known as Mrs. Jennifer Crane."
"Congratulations."
Jen accepts it with a smile, then turns back to Bessie, "So, I was wondering, do you have any idea what you're going to do now?"
"Well, I think it would be a good idea to just focus on being healthy and caring for Alex."
"What about the apartment?"
"I don't know. Maybe I could just stay here for awhile." Bessie replies off-handedly.
Jen answers sarcastically, "Because that is just what you need. Alex would not survive in the same place as that control fre.." She stops, remembering I'm still in the room. "Nothing. I just don't think that's the best suggestion."
Bessie shakes her head, "You are forgetting that," gets up to stand next to me, "Real friendship survives petty things like that."
Jen rolls her eyes, "Petty things like barely communicating in seven years? What the hell is that about? You both live in the same town and this isn't Boston, where it is entirely possible to not bump into someone for years."
Bessie sighs, "I don't know. It just slowly happened," as she places her arm on my shoulder. A slight chill creeps up my spine as I suddenly realize how long it's been since I've actually felt her touch. I don't mean touch as in us crashing into each other earlier. One that actually means something.
Jen smiles, "I so wish I had my camera right now to share in this rare moment. Anyone ever say that you two would've made a cute couple?"
Bessie moves her arm and heads for one of the spoons, and scoops up some ice cream, "Do you want to get pelted, Lindley?"
"As much as I'd like to see Doug's reaction when you fling that, I'll refrain from any further remarks." I smirk for Jen's benefit, though ticked about Bessie avoiding that question.
Bessie shrugs and eats what was on the spoon. Once Jen feels it is safe, she continued, "Neither one of you ever thought about it?"
"You're forgetting the way the world was back then. I don't think people really thought of the convict's daughter and the sheriff's son as a couple." as she went for another spoonful.
Sadly, there was some truth to that. There was even a brief period of time when my father told me not to be friends with her anymore because of her dad. I listened to that for a month or two before he eventually relented.
Jen looked completely confused, "What about Joey and Pacey? Don't they fit that description? Or are you two more like the way Jack and me were?" In my direction, "I meant that as being a nonsexual relationship, not because of sexual preference, or what have you. I leave those remarks to your brother."
"The subject has never really come up, as I recall. For the reason I already stated, people actually were surprised that we could even be in the same room together. Nevermind the fact of being best friends." Did I really need to hear the same words over and over? Best friends.
I interrupt them, "I'm going to catch up on some reading. When you two are finished, let me know so I can pull out the cot."
Bessie sighs, "You know, I could take the cot so you keep your room."
"Do you really think I'd let you sleep on this hard thing after the day you've had? Goodnight, Jen." I head out of the room.
"'Night, Doug." Back to Bessie, I could hear her say, "That is so sweet of him."
I turn on the radio as I started to settle into a mystery novel. A couple of minutes later, I hear a knock at the door, then Jen letting herself in.
"If Bessie asks, I'm borrowing a Mariah Carey CD from you."
"Which one?" I remark as I place a bookmark on page 128.
"The greatest hits one. Anyway, I was wondering, um, the thing that I asked you about at the reception? About something being wrong with Bessie? There is a problem between you two that she's unaware of, I believe. I could see it when I mentioned the whole couple thing."
I sigh and got up to put the book back on the shelf, "There is no me and Bessie. It's just, there's been a lot of time and .."
"Stop the bull excuses. I really don't know what's the truth here and I don't think Bessie does either. So, what is it?"
I dropped the book back in its position and headed toward the door to let her out.
"I know, you and I were never very close so why the hell should you tell me anything. But I think you are avoiding telling her the truth, whatever that might be." She walked out of the room.
I went back to reading my book. I hadn’t even realized that almost two hours had passed when I hear a knock on my door, then Bessie letting herself in.
"Jen just left. If you want to go to sleep, the coast is clear."
"Thanks." I get up from my position on the bed and begin collecting what I need out of the room. As I’m about to clear out, I notice Bessie giving me a slightly confused expression. “Are you going to be all right? I know this situation with Damien will be tough to get over..”
"I wasn’t thinking about him right now. That’s pretty much what the last two hours were about, me understanding the blessing that just happened. Actually, I was thinking about you and me.”
"I hadn’t thought there was still much about you and me."
"I had just realized that Jen, although a great friend, just isn’t the same as when it was just the two of us. I have been thinking about this and I can’t pinpoint what went wrong. I remember you being there when Bodie first cheated on me, but then, everything else is a blur. Maybe that was the last time we really talked.”
"That is possible although I’m not sure," I lied.
"Jen had the weirdest idea. She thought that there was sexual tension between us. Can you imagine such a strange idea? I know she thinks of herself as an expert at matchmaking ever since she got that guy Ben back into Jack’s life, but she doesn’t know when to quit.”
"She’s blissfully happy right now with Noel so she just wants her friends to share the wealth." I wasn’t sure if Jen had actually figured it out or just saw a gold mine of an opportunity.
"I guess so, Doug. That concept is just weird. We have nothing in common anymore. So what that you’re alone and I, as of today, am in the same predicament. That’s all there is.” She thought about it, then nodded quickly, “Yeah, that’s it. Okay, I’m going to sleep. Good night, Doug.”
I walked out of the room closing the door slowly. I turn back around to look at the shut door and shook my head. See, this was a very good reason why I didn’t want to be around here. Fear that Bessie would be alone and still consider me the wrong guy. I knew it for so long but today seemed like the beginning of a confirmation.
About an hour later, I laid down on the couch and pulled the blanket over me.
We have nothing in common anymore.
Probably somewhat true. But I don’t think Bessie had changed very much. Maybe a couple of more years of experience, but that was about it. Our conversation earlier proved that. As soon as Jen mentioned us being romantically involved, she was still as clueless as ever.
I don’t remember when I fell asleep but I know it must have been shortly after because of the next vision.
It was a recreation of the reception earlier today. Andrew going into his trashing of the Witters. Hearing in particular - "another generation of messed-up Witters" - over and over.
This time, however, Bessie approaches me, saying, "It's a vicious cycle." I reply that she just hasn't found the right person yet, a fact which she dismisses. This time, Andrew returns, saying that he would be willing to change for the right woman. Cut to shot of Carrie finally getting up from her chair and fleeing the scene in tears.
But before Bessie has a chance to react, I get out the words, 'I love you, Bessie'. She replies 'I love you too, Andrew Weller'. I continue to shout 'I am the one who said that.' which she continues to ignore. She grabs a surprised Andrew and begins to leave, but just as she's about to leave, she turns around and replies 'It's better being alone'. I call out her name but she is out the door with him. Suddenly, I hear her calling out 'Doug, Doug'. I try to find where it's coming from...
"Doug," Bessie is shaking me, "Wake up, Doug."
I am startled out of my sleep to find Bessie standing over me with a very concerned expression.
"Bessie, what's wrong?"
As soon as I say that, I see her giving me that Potter lip-biting move and a look of utter bewilderment looking me up and down. "You.. you.. were talking in your sleep." Bessie sputters out.
I jump up quickly from my position on the couch. Bessie is backing away from me.
"Please tell me that I didn’t hear what I thought I heard. Please tell me you did not just say that you loved me. That it was just a cruel joke or that you have an old girlfriend with that name or something. Just please say that I’m wrong.”
I’m so startled by the realization that she knows that I can’t even squeak out a reply.
"Witter, you’d better answer me because this is really freaking me out. Considering the way the previous day had been, I can say with certainty that this is not what I need right now.” She was beginning to cry, “I need to know what the hell that was.”
I’m not sure how I possibly got a response out but I muttered, "You’re right, it was about an ex. Beth, I believe it was.”
Bessie stopped weeping and looked down, "Really?"
"Of course, Potter. Do you really think I’d have a dream about you?" How did this conversation suddenly turn into the type Pacey and Joey would have all the time before they got back together?
She was sort of startled, "I’ve really got to remember to thank Jen for putting such weird thoughts in my head. Mind if I go for a walk?”
"To talk to Jen?"
"I think she’d better hope I can’t find her. Nowhere in particular," she added as she absentmindedly grabbed her coat and headed out the door.
As soon as I was certain she wouldn’t suddenly come back into the apartment, I slumped back down on the couch. I happened to see the remote control on the coffee table and picked it up.
Which is worse, the fact that I made up dreaming about a former girlfriend named Beth or that Bessie deemed that it was the truth?
Okay, maybe I’m being too hard on her. After all, she’s been through hell today with the loathsome husband dump and everything else.
The really strange thing is that everything that had occurred since she showed up in the apartment could’ve been taken from ten years ago. Granted, Jen Lindley wouldn’t have been the person here. She wouldn’t have been pushing the whole cute couple thing ten years ago.
On the other hand, if Jen had made the comment ten years ago, there would have still been a chance for Bessie to consider it. That would’ve been before she married Bodie but after giving birth to Alex.
I was amazed at how much velocity one can get from throwing a remote control. It neatly smashed the picture frame on the wall into three pieces as it hit the floor. The picture was one of the Witter family at Pacey and Joey’s wedding.
Another generation of messed-up Witters. Well, I guess I naturally assumed that the person in this generation would be Carrie.
I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time dwelling on her.
* * * * *
I found myself staring at the remnants on the ground for what seemed like hours. In the picture were Pacey in his tux and Joey, in this beautiful flowing bridal gown. Dad and I were on one side, with Mom, Gretchen, Bessie, and Alex on the other.
The last picture I had of Bessie, come to think of it. Definitely, the last time we were both in a photo together, even though we weren't side by side.
Actually, it was a couple of hours. I initially thought Bessie would just be gone for a little bit to regroup, then return.
She's probably wherever Jen is right now. I don't know exactly what Jen would be doing. Would she try to agree with her or come to the same conclusions that anyone..
Wait, Joey said she'd guessed it years ago. She and Jen wouldn't have.. no, those two were never very close friends. They're friends by association but not two that would.. then again, I never really thought she and Bessie were like that either until last night.
Before I knew it, I heard my alarm clock go off. Damn, I'd been awake for the past five hours, running back and forth on any possible situation that could occur next. At least that was better than going back to sleep. Didn't have my conscience or another dream in which she ignores me to deal with.
I went to get ready for work. Always prefered working the morning shifts because I didn't have to deal with breaking up parties. Man, it's the worst because you know you want to be there, letting loose, having fun. Then you remember why you're there and have to split it up.
Ever since I had to pull Pacey blinding drunk from a party and place him in a jail cell for the night, I've despised that part. You never want to arrest your family.
Was working with the speed gun this particular day. It's part of the job, one of the most boring possible assignments. Sit in a car holding a speed gun on a near-deserted road. Every so often, a car passes and you get a reading. Get a hair-trigger of sorts whenever a reading appears. Definitely not the best way to spend your time.
Anyway, I was sitting in my squad car working when a car pulls up behind me. Didn't think much of it until I hear a tapping on the window. I look up and surprised to see Jen standing there. Rolled down the window for her.
"I'm glad I found you. Here I was, heading back to my hotel after making a trip to the 7-11 four towns over when I spot a certain friend of mine walking. I pull up, find out what's she doing walking alone at three in the morning and I was amazed at the answer she provided."
I sighed, "I'd be curious about her interpretation of the events."
Jen got a sly smile, "I'm sure you would, Officer. If the way she told the story wasn't an exaggeration, then I'd surmise that she's in a serious case of denial."
Denial? Denial was pretty much the last feeling I expected. Confusion, yes. Disgust, understandable. But denial? "Maybe I should ask what her version was first."
"From what I've gathered regarding your friendship, I think she values it more than she'd ever admit. She once told me about the day she considered you as something more, like a, I can't believe I'm actually using Dawson's word, soulmate." Jen paced around, trying to avoid my gaze.
"Why on earth would you utter that dreadful word!" That word has become synonamous with disaster in the Witter family ever since he uttered it to Gretchen. Since Pacey remembered that Dawson called Joey that, it caused a large rift between the childhood pals. Gretchen and Joey were at each other's throats. Pacey was angry at Joey for still having feelings for the filmmaker. As soon as Dawson left for UCLA, however, all the animosity went out the door with me.
"Forget the way that Dawson would say it. I know it's a terrible word in this town but, if you base it on the intended meaning, then it's the best way to describe it. It was when she and Bodie first started fighting. You were there consoling her, as was the norm. Even used that damn Jerry Maguire sentiment, you know, you complete her. Thought briefly of throwing away her marriage, well Bodie was a jerk even at that time so it would've been a good idea."
I leaned against the patrol car so my legs wouldn't give out from under me. She cannot be implying what I'm thinking she's saying. This is absolutely impossible. "I don't believe this," shaking my head.
"Unfortunately, Bodie returned with an apology which she reluctantly accepted on behalf of Alex. Later that very day, he told her that you had stopped by the house en route to a date. Initially, she didn't believe him but Joey confirmed his story. Figured that was a sign that she'd made a mistake and resumed her despicable arrangement."
If Jen wasn't there at that moment, I would've looked for something to punch. Instead, I turned away from Jen, "You mean there was a moment in time that.. that.. I cannot believe this," shaking her head.
"I know, Doug, but I think tonight was another of those moments. Let's face it, she was alone, again. You were there, again. You ended up defending her honor at the reception. Of course, any faint hope was dashed when she heard you talking about an ex with a similar name to hers. I know I should have kept my mouth shut but I saw a spark when you two were together in the apartment."
Muttering more to myself than to Jen, "I decide to chicken out of a friendship and ruin the opportunity in the process."
Jen suddenly reacts as though lightning struck her, "What?"
"Nothing." It wasn't meant to sound like a denial, more like I didn't want to repeat it.
"Was that basically a admission? Oh my god, I do not believe this!" Jen shouted, "Am I great at these situations or what."
I covered her mouth with my hand, "I think it's better if she doesn't find out through the rumor mill so could you please keep it down." When Jen had calmed down, I added, "You are not going to blab this news to her, you've got it."
Jen pulled my hand away, "Understood. I'll try forget what you barely said as much as I was supposed to forget what she said." She turned around and headed back to her car before I could react to that. I kept my eyes on her as she drove away.
I knew better than to trust Jennifer Lindley but it was the only way I could think of to have Bessie talk to me after the Beth fiasco. She may not be talking to Jen again, but there's a price you should pay for being meddlesome and that's hers.
* * * * *
When I got home from work on Monday, I had a message from Joey that Bessie was there. She and Jen had a fight, leading to her hightailing to her sister's.
I returned the call, only to get Joey saying that she wasn't there even though she was there. I mean that Joey didn't exactly support the lie but that's not really a shock.
Called Jen after that. Bessie only got mad at the fact Jen and I had a conversation. She had no idea about the contents. Jen did add that she was still pissed off about that night. Want to add more but she was talking to Noel on the other line and couldn't keep away from him any longer.
Bessie and I not on the same wavelength at the same time? So what else is new? This time, she thinks she's caused irrevocable damage to our just-revitalized friendship.
Now she intends to not speak to me for the same reasons I didn't speak to her for eight years. How ironic. Wait, is that actually an example of irony or just really bad fortune. Damn Alanis Morissette set Pacey bought as a gag gift for Christmas.
Okay, I may have deserved that. Why the hell did I have to mention a lady named Beth? Why the hell did I try to save face in front of Bodie years ago? That guy was nothing but an ass.hole who would have deserved knowing that someone thinks of her as more than just the mother of his offspring.
Any possible good that came from this past weekend was killed as soon as I saw her give me that damn look. Sort of like that Gwyneth Paltrow movie on cable in which her life takes two paths, one if she caught the train, one if she didn't. That would work, one if I had seen the Potter look, the other if I hadn't. Oh, that damn movie is just giving me a headache.
Okay, have to calm down, get some sleep. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I didn't sleep for more than fifteen minutes at a time last night. I really didn't want to think about how bad the dreams would be now that I had completely blown it, so I kept waking up. I'd calculate the total amount of sleep I got was about two and a half hours and that's a high estimate.
I turned on the television and caught Streisand's supposed farewell tv movie (well, she's said that three times about her concerts, so who knows). I know I'm supposed to be a fan of this type of work, but I think her conceit is taking over. This film, "Only Once", was about a Jewish actress(what else?) trying to move on with her life and career after her devoted husband/manager passes away. What it's really about is how everyone supports and worships her every step even though she is supposedly a has-been in the movie business.
Incredibly boring, but it'll do. Can definitely say that it made me drowsy..
This time, I was in my police car, following up on a call that there had been a robbery and possible murder at the ol' Potter Bed & Breakfast, which was now an ordinary house belonging to an elderly couple. Get to the scene to find bullet holes everywhere. You'd think it was after shooting ten takes of an action sequence, it was so bad. Bessie was left for dead inside the wreckage. Why the hell she was in that house, I have no idea, but that's why this is only a dream.
I get to her side and feel for her pulse. She is fearing imminent death, so with her final breath says, "I know you never knew this but I loved you so much. It's too bad you never felt the same way I did." Her final words as she leaves this world. "No, you can't do this now. Bess, wake up, come on, Bess. You can't leave it like this. Noo, nooo..
"No, no," as I'm jolted awake, "No, I can't let this happen. I can't." I'm not sure exactly where this sudden determination came from but it was quite overpowering.
"This has gone on way too long." So what if it's almost two in the morning. It was time to take a chance before this haunts me for all of eternity.
* * * * *
"Dougie, what you doing here at this hour? I thought I was the only one in Capeside awake." Pacey worked a couple of nights a week at the bar a couple of towns over.
"Sorry to disturb you but there's some business I need to take care of."
Pacey scratches his head, "Can't this wait until morning?"
Joey came in at that moment, "Pace, who are you bringing here at... oh, hi Doug. Looks like you just woke up."
Pacey suddenly realizes how strange it was to see me in the middle of the night probably resembling him more than either of us would ever want to.
I shrugged off Joey's comment, "Is your sister around?"
Joey cautiously replied, "Around? Well, according to her, no. But you already seem to have guessed that's not the truth. So, follow my lead." She headed out of the room. I followed behind.
Pacey whined in the background, "Jo, I don't understand what could possibly be so important that couldn't wait until morning."
Joey spun around and approached her husband, "You will realize shortly why I can't stand in the way." and gave him a kiss before leaving the room.
* * * * *
Joey knocked on the door at the end of the hallway and received a muffled reply. Taking that as a yes, Joey barged in. I stood by the doorway, suddenly wondered what could have possessed me to come here.
"Joey, what could possibly be worth waking me up.." Her voice trailed off as soon as she saw me. "What the hell is going on?"
Joey dragged me into the room and slammed the door. "I am absolutely annoyed at you two." I leaned against the dresser.
Bessie rose up from bed, completely surprised by Joey's reaction. "What are you talking about? What are you doing here at two in the morning? Why are you yelling at me?"
"I have to admit, the best thing I've seen in a long time
was Doug appearing here at two in the morning."
Bessie's eyes grew wide as she bolted out of bed, "What did Jen tell you, Jo?"
"That there's a bunch of lies and denials ruining what was once a strong friendship. I know way more than I ever wanted to between observation and Jen's little wrap-up."
She glanced in my direction, "I'm guessing Jen opened her big mouth about why I left."
I nodded slowly.
Joey added, "The reason I'm even still involved in this is because I don't want to play witness to what happened the morning of your wedding ever again." She left the room, making sure to shut the door behind her.
Bessie had a puzzled look, "She doesn't want a guy to leave me on my wedding day?"
"I think she doesn't want you to be heartbroken again."
"Heartbroken? Okay, I know you're only saying that because you think I'm in love with you. But I'm not. That's just Jen stirring up some trouble."
She looked away from me, trying to compose herself. She found a comb to stare intently at as she continued, "I'm very sorry to take feelings I had for Damien and throw them back at you."
"Do you really expect me to believe that?" I muttered.
She turned back around and glared at me, "Maybe yes, maybe no, but you have absolutely no idea how confusing this is."
I retorted, "That I'd have no idea about denying the truth because of fear that those feelings are not reciprocated? That the person you're in love with has found someone else? Believe me, I know much better than you could possibly imagine."
"How dare you try to sum up my feelings like that!" Bessie approached, then sputtered out, "You have no clue what the hell I'm thinking!"
"I know that if I knew eight years ago what I found out from Jen, it would've saved both of us."
"Both of us? What happened to you?"
"Nothing. That was the problem. I went to your house with the flowers, intending to take you out on a night on the town. Had planned to do it for years but finally got up the nerve that night. You and Bodie were separated for months at that point.."
"Oh my god, no." Bessie sat down on the bed to compose herself, "Please tell me this is not the night I'm thinking it was."
"I wish I could but I'll never forget that night. You know the rest."
Bessie nodded slowly.
"It was a mistake not telling you the truth and was certainly a mistake not letting you tell me the truth. Joey knew what really happened that night but kept her mouth shut until the morning of your cancelled wedding."
She replied softly, "And you moved on."
"No, I couldn't move on. Until Jen told me what really happened, I was still stuck in that moment in time. I would try to get back to dating, but my heart wasn't into it. The days leading up to your wedding were pure agony."
Bessie rose up and walked over to me, "I'm so sorry, Doug. Let me take a wild guess that there is no girlfriend Beth, right?" Her breathing was somewhat erratic as she waited for a reply.
"You'd be correct, Bess." I leaned in closer to her and placed a kiss on her forehead, "I-I-I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. I'm so sorry for not doing anything about it sooner."
I saw a somewhat unfamiliar look. Well, let me rephrase that, it was a look I was used to her giving Bodie and Damien and almost every other guy that's been in her life. A look that I normally hated because of the undeserving recepient. A look that I absolutely treasured at the moment.
She wrapped her arms around my waist, "So am I," as she gave a quick, somewhat tentative kiss back. She backed her head away slightly to read my expression. It seemed that at the exact same moment we locked lips again, this time, letting out years of desire at the same time..
* * * * *
About a year later, I was packing the years of crap that had accumulated in the apartment when I stumbled upon an old journal. I still keep a journal, but it's sometimes difficult to read the old journals.
I can't believe I am just sitting here keeping my mouth shut as she plans her wedding. So many years have passed and she still thinks of me as just another member of the Capeside community. Not even a friend anymore in her eyes, just an acquaintance. I guess that's not entirely her fault since it is so difficult for me to be around her without wanting to kiss her.
How ironic, I come across a page about hating the men in her life on the day I officially become the man in hers forever.
Pacey was in the living room, claiming to be sorting through my old magazines but really playing bodyguard so that Bessie and I won't see each other on our wedding day. Jen Lindley, er, I mean, Jen Crane, was at the Potter residence, trying to do the same thing.
Joey agreed to stay Jen's hotel room, taking care of Simon for a couple of hours. I'm sure Joey didn't mind playing babysitter since she was now six months pregnant and would soon have a child of her own to deal with.
"Do you need any more boxes?" Pacey poked his head in the bedroom.
I looked around, "I don't think so but it's better to have more than less."
"Okay." As Pacey was about to leave the room, he turned around, "Isn't it strange how much of a difference a year makes? I still remember the disastrous reception from the last wedding."
"That would be pretty hard to forget. Carrie dumped Andrew, right?"
Pacey grinned, "Yeah, she's flying solo. Well, as solo as you can get with her screaming kids in attendance. Uncle Pacey will have to think of something to shut them up."
"Thank God Alex is old enough not to have to deal with those problems."
"Yeah, you'll just have the 'You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father' issues. Good luck."
"I think you'll need it too. Or did you forget about the bundle of joy coming in a couple of months."
A huge smile creeped on his face, "I don't think I could forget about little Lil."
"Pacey, you've shortened it to Lil already?"
"Don't you know every important person in my life has to have such Witter touches? There's Jo, Lindley.."
"Sorry I asked. Go back to your guard duties."
Pacey mock-saluted me, "Aye aye, Dougie." Lowering his hand, he added, "I guess that's the last gay joke, huh?"
"Sorry for you losing such terrible material." Pacey grinned and closed the door as he left the room.
I look down and notice the journal still in my hand. I spot the garbage can, overflowing with assorted old bills and leftover Christmas cards. I cram the journal onto the stack.
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