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(Sat, Feb. 8)
Okay, damn. Off to a bad start. I just wrote a long history of my trip in hotmail, and was going to paste it here. Well, nothing pasted. So basically, my trip started Friday evening, where I flew from Van to Seattle. I went out with a bro from Seattle, Will, and he let me stay over at his place and even dropped me off at the airport the next morn. (Thanks dude!) My flight was delayed, and didn't leave till 2:00. I went to SEOUL, then after another delayed flight, to BANGKOK.
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Bangkok, Thailand (Mon, Feb. 10)
I arrived here Monday morning at 4am. What a journey. It kicks butt here. Stray toothless, eyeless, and even hairless dogs here everywhere. Everything is cheap. I just got tickets to go meet up with Tyler and Andy, who are planning on meeting me on some small southern island for the "Full Moon Party." More later...
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Ko Phan Gnan, Thailand (Thurs, Feb. 12)
Time here is nearly meaningless. I don't really know what day of the week it is, nor the calendar date. So much happens here in so short of a time that the stories add up faster than I can write them down. From Bangkok, I travelled to a small island just above Ko Samui. It was a beautiful trip to say the least, but it didn't prepare me for what I was in for... a tropical island that is a mecca for backpackers and people who love to party. I met up with Thailer and Andy, and they introduced me to the lifestyle perfectly.. they are called "buckets."
For $150 B (=$4.00) for, get this, a redbull, a bottle of whiskey, and a can of coke, all on ice. It is so potent, but tastes so good! Yesterday, we all rented motorbikes, and drove into the jungle. It was so wicked!
So much more to write, but I have to get more experience on a motorbike driving through the jungle now before the local bicycle traffic builds up. The roads here are crazy and scary. Peace out yo. (Sailor, try to get Hans' contact info for me please, that would be cool.) Did I tell you that all prescription meds are legal and over-the-counter here? I'm currently on prozac, and I think I'm going to get some morphine now for tonight (kidding).
Well, I'm writing from another village now, on the other end of the island. I took the main highway by motorbike. People here drive everywhere. There seems to be no rules or regulations. I've even seen little kids driving motorbikes. The general tendency is to drive on the left side of the road, which I try to remember when I'm not too busy dodging people and other traffic. It is seriously so dangerous here. If you are going to fall off a motorbike, this is the place. We took our scooters to the other side of the island, for quite the wild ride. Thai's have no idea how to build roads. One stretch of road through the jungle had coconut trees, boulders the size of elephants and tree brances all over it. The rain had eroded gravel out from under it all along and two spots of the road had caved in leaving huge holes that would swallow a truck. After successfully vanigating the road from hell, we made it to a wicked little beach and body surfed for a couple of hours.
I'm just starting to adjust to it here, as I've notice that my eyes have stopped bulging out of my head. Thai and Andy are wicked travel companions. They are always a blast, and when I'm not laughing my arse off, I'm trying to keep up to their consumption levels (food not included). As far as that goes, I've been doing my usual travel routine: No sleep, no food, but copious amounts of alcohol. Red bull is $0.50 here for the same kind that you get in Whistler (more potent than the American variety). The lifestyle here on the island of Ko Phangan is all about partying. Everyone comes out of the woodwork at night, and during the day the beaches are nearly vacant. Nothing really opens until noon. Shite, gotta get back on that highway to go to the other side of the island to rent the bike for another day. Once there, I think I'll take a siesta to prepare for the chaos tonight. Every day the amount of people on this island grows. It is getting close to the Full Moon Party, and the one in Feb. is the most popular one. It is going to be huge. In fact, every night on the beach here (one minute from our place) is like a rave. A rave with people from every part of the globe, so there is lots to talk about with everyone. It kicks so much ass.
So much ass.
I should talk about last night now before boring you with the details of today (Valentines). Last night: Thai Wiskey (72 oz), 650 mg. of acetaminophen (x2), nicotine, redbull, 1 blue long pill (Vallium), 2 round pills (Vallium), sugar, caffine, nightstand chicken, various alcohols. The night started out with my German acquaintance (Ulia) making a Nazi peace offering of bacardi breezers. We drank these swiftly, and moved on to a blackjack drinking game. The weapon of choice for me was a bottle of Thai whiskey and a cocunut (with some redbull of course). For Thai and Andy, the painkillers mixed with redbull and coke. Ulia had a stash of Vallium's so we headed over to take our fill. Now vallium is a mellow sleepy little packet of joy unless mixed with every possible chemical in the pharmisists handbook. How did the night end? For Thai, it didn't. He ended up staying at Ulia's puking all over her bathroom floor. I had some sleep, as did the tank (Andy), but I awoke the next morning all sketchy feeling and shaky.
Enters Valentines Day
All day, basking on the Euro-filled beaches admist the Thai grave-diggers for the once vibrant marine life. The day started as usual. I woke up and went out for some action while the toothfairies and (wet) dreams kept Thai and Andy occupied. I beat the morning traffic on what Ko Phan-Gnan calls a highway. After a few purchases in the main town, I braved the highway again. I thought that I had it mastered. I passed the chickens, the starving dogs with well-worn nipples, the children, the black-smoke belching taxi-trucks all with ease in this fresh morning air.
The day went on from there, feeding my addiction to coconuts and rye, sun, beach, and beauties. Siesta time.
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Chaing Mai (Fri, Feb. 21)
I'm way up in the North of Thland now, near some funky jungles and the 'Golden Triangle,' if youi've heard of that. It is where most of the poppies are grown in the highland villages for the opium/heroine trade. We are trying to find a local guide to take us around some villages, and a tour hiking through the jungle, and rafting down some rivers on a hand-made bamboo raft.
I must run now, but will inform you of my adventure as soon as I get back, or as soon as I find out that it is a no-go. Either way, it is wicked here. We travelled 36 hours straight north from the tropical island (Koh Phan-Gnan) that we were on. Now we are in the 2nd largest city in Thailand, Chaing Mai. We were planning on going through LAOS, but due to time restrictions, probably wont. Instead we'll travel the jungles and visit some real indiginous peoples. Shite, the sun is going down, and the malaria infested mosquitoes are out. I have to run back for repellent. Lates all.
Well, I'm still here in Chaing Mai. We just got back from a three day trek, but before writing about that, I'll explain our situation.
The manager: a crusty old english guy who couldn't leave his whore 10 years
ago. His name is Mike, and is a 76 year old who still knows where all the special
"guest houses" are. His Thai wife look about 25. If you do the math, 10 years ago
he was 66 and she was pretty young. All the rumours you've heard about the Thai sex trade are true. There are whores everywhere! Every white man over the age of 40 has one with him, and many of them are transvestites. Now you know the real reason why Tyler doesn't want to come back! Well, at least this place has lots of character. Tyler thinks that the place we are staying at used to be processing plant. Perhaps for making MILO, which is a choclate beverage much like ovaltine. It tastes like rat shit, and would probably make excellent glue.
We spent our first day finding a non-tourist trek through the jungles in the area.
A job well-done. Our trek was awesome. We escaped the rats and roads and exchanged them for pigs and dirt trails. After a couple hours driving from town, we were in the hills of Thailand, and walking in the jungles. With us were 9 others: 3 Deutchland girls, 3 Irish women, a Brit, and a Swiss couple. The group dynamics could best be described as non-existent. Everyone talked to one-another, with the exception of the Brit, who was nice. The Deutchlanders came around eventually, but were still pretty stand-off'ish. Probably due the illness that overcame one of them, and their tendency to sleep as a pass-time.
Our first stop on our trek was at some caves that buddists lived in. One monk lived there alone for 40 years to find enlightenment. We were there only 1 hour and found tonnes of bats, their shit, and crazy tunnels that tried their best to swallow us up. We went through most of the cave tunnels, and no enlightenment was to be found. I'll bet that after 40 years, your willing to get a lot closer to the bat shit to find the tunnel that leads to enlightenment. We weren't that ambitious, but Ty and Andy came close. They had way too much energy for such a dangerous and confined area, and weren't being careful enough. After going off the beaten path that lead to a dead-end, I found a way to slow them down, probably saving their lives. They'll thank me later, but weren't happy about it at the time.
After that, we trekked through the jungle following a stream. Part of our journey used elephants as vehicles. It saved our legs a bit of walking, but it cost twice the pain (in the form of a rash between the legs) for those who braved riding on the elephant's head. The trail eventually lead to a village, where we spent our first night. Just like you'd see in a documentary, the villagers were wearing ragged clothes, there were tonnes of kids, and all the houses were made of thatched bamboo atop poles (to keep the jungle animals out). We played kick-ball with the local kids (they loved it!), then slept on the hardest wooden floor ever. It got so cold that night too! I was the only warm one due to the extra sleeping bag I brought with me... so smart, so smart.
The next day we hiked a long ways and visited various tribes along the way. They love to tie pigs under their huts and watch them get fatter. After lunch, and after Tyler was attacked by a chicken, we bathed in the garbage-lined stream that went throught the village (Population: about 30 families). That night we stayed with another village, this one buddist, and repeated the events of the previous night. The village kids surrounded me after I stopped playing kick-ball and started copying my moves. They loved it and wouldn't stop. I quickly found out that their balance wasn't so good after doing a couple of standing 540 jumps. I got them falling all over the place, and they loved it even more. I had a pack of them with me when I went back to the hut for dinner. My knee was bothering me a bit on our last day. Thank God for our bamboo rafts that took us a fair way down the river. We finally hiked out and got back to a truck that drove about 4.5 hours back to Chaing Mai.
That evening, I went for a Thai massage... oh god! For a little less than $4.00 CAD, I had a full body massage for an hour. They knew all the pressure points in the body, and I think hit every one of them. Some spots hurt more than others, but after it was done, it felt like I had a new body. When I got up after the massage and walked back to our guest house, it felt like I was floating... no shite. Only problem is that when they tried cracking my neck, it didn't crack, and now it is pinching a nerve whenever I turn to one side. I might try another place tonight to fix it.
We are just about to go sign up for another 3-day trek leaving tomorrow. We just have to decide which one to go on. I hope my body holds up for this one. I'm still a bit stiff and sore from the last three days of traversing through the jungle. It is pretty cool though, hiking through mountain villages that only have 10 families living there, and seeing their way of life. They don't even use money. It is all about living off the land.
Well, more from this pen if and when I get back from my next trek.
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Chaing Mai (Mon, Mar. 1)
Okay, back from my second trek. And what a trek it was. All things considered, this second one kicked butt on the first. Less walking, more biting insects, a cool guide that was straight from the 80's, and good ol' Dr. O. Here's how the trek started...
After a good nights rest, with the monks partying the night away along side the well-trained roosters, we were nearly ready to go. I'm not exactly sure how the word got out, but I swear, the monks were throwing us a good-bye party. At 3 or 4 am., I awoke to a loud clang/crash followed by another, another, another, then a whole bunch more. This went on for a while and eventually subdued into chanting.
So after a restless night, and some quick morning packing, we started our trek. This one started out much like the last: by piling into the back of a truck and heading to a market outside of town. The market we went to this time had way more or way less selection, depending on what you were looking for. If you were looking for warm clothes, slingshots, mosquito nets, or anything useful, then this wasn't the place. However, if what you were looking for was half-dead, half-alive, somewhat disturbing, smelling really foul, and supossed to be eadible, then bingo, this was the place! Our purchases: nearly 2 cases of redbull, 3 Sang Soms (thai whiskey), some coke, junk food, and some weird food to much on... I don't know what it was, but it wasn't fish, wasn't insect, and probably contained everything else.
We arrived at the first village for lunch. This village was way too accustomed to seeing outsiders. The 6 yr old kids were grabbing at my pockets and asking for 10 Baht. Kids are one thing, beggars another. Was I impressed? No way! Let alone, these damn kids were head-to-toe in dirt, dressed in 17th generation american hand-me-downs that prove all donated money for 3rd world kids goes to paying the washed-up old, once-famous people and their crappy commercials more than it does do any good. These kids were hanging all over me. Pardon me, but do I look like Mary Freakin Poppins? So during all this, I'm surrounded by Euro-girls who love kids (and yes, Andy included). They were playing with them, swinging them, throwing them over their heads like you feel you have to do at family get-togethers when your aunt shows you her new child and expects youi to like it too.... I was just getting dirty trying to push away all these future pick-pockets.
Back to the trek. We quickly discovered that our guide, BANK, was a sling-shot sharp-shooter, probably straight from the LAOS army (they can't afford guns or bullets). He was also a hippy that loved the 80's too much. He knew all of about 10 songs, all from the hippy era, but not enough variety to fill two days worth of walking and listening to him sing. We heard the same songs, how many times? Too many!
Not too far away, many beads of sweat, and lots of slingshot induced carnage later, we arrived at our next village. Here we stayed for our first night. The lodgings were as usual, in the traditional bamboo huts on stilts, but this time we had mats to sleep on... bonus! After playing kick-ball for a while with fellow trekkers, I went in for a quick shower before eating dinner. The food on this trek was so much better too! Bank pushed the alcohol on us, and since we didn't need much encouraging to start with, we all consumed enought to kill a few small animals. After, we all must have been feeling a little ill, because most of us payed a visit to the Dr. that was in the house. This doctor was the best I've come across so far. He went only by the initial of his sir-name: "O." His charisma and ambience about him drew nearly all of us to him. I remember while being taken back by the doctor, as he was seemingly giving me a therepeutic massage, the jolt I felt when something bit/stung my hand. I was just laying on the bamboo when the pain came. I asked one of the helpers what it was that bit me, then I had to interrupt a thai version of "Sweet Home Alabama" to ask our guide what it was, and how serious it could be. He assured me that unless my whole arm started going numb, that it wasn't serious. So I then took refuge with Tyler's pharmaceutical conncoction.
The next morning, we were all hung-over, and didn't start out towards the next village until 11. We were supposed to leave at 8:30, but heck, everyone understood. The next day was cool, walking through cool terraine, and riding aback elephants. The evening was even better. Everyone was taking it easy due to the previous night's binge. All except for me. I still had a bottle of Sang Som, and shared it with Bank and Tyler. Bank returned the favour that evening, then crashed early as well. I stayed up with a local named BUS, who was our cook for the previous two nights. We stayed up and talked for a while, he told me about his hunting stories, but even though he talked for hours, I was only able to understand a few minutes worth. It was all good.
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