What is Telefund? It is a telemarketing company I work for that raises money for Tufts. It is NOT one of those companies that call you at 9 a.m. to talk about AT&T. It is a company that calls you during dinner to ask/plea/beg for money. Obviously, this is not the best job in the world, but one advantage is the free liquor (not). Actually, the advantage is the funny and dumb people we talk to. Here are some actual phone conversations that happened at Telefund:

1.Me: “Sir, can I just take one moment of your time, please?
” The guy: “Listen: my phone is acting funny. It will sound like I’m hanging up, but you stay on the line!”

2. The guy: “After the way I was treated at the Dental School, I won’t give a dime to Tufts!
” Me: Really? Perhaps...” (polite laugh)
The guy: “Hey, what are you laughing at? Are you a student at the Dental School?”
Me: “No, I am just a freshman...
” The guy: “Well, then you don’t know what it’s like! How dare you laugh at me?”

3.Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you could make a donation to Tufts School of Nutrition?”
The guy: “You know, people like you is what’s wrong with our society today. (What followed was a very long lecture on the connection between Telefund and society’s problems)

4. Me: “Hi, my name is Michael Denisenko, and I am calling on behalf...”
Old woman: “Excuse me, what was your name again?
” Me: “Um, I don’t think you know me...”
Old woman: “Could you spell your name out, please? I got the first part, Michael.”

5. The guy: “I am unhappy with the treatment in the Vet School
” Me: “What’s the problem?”
The guy: “This doctor, he is a liar. He said he never rates dogs’ hips excellent, and I have written proof that he in fact did rate another dog’s hips excellent!” (what was he talking about?”