Decisions, decisions. Yesterday I had four invitations to four different events. Which did I finally end up going to? The party/fundraiser for my friend's sister who just got out of the hospital? A happy hour at a cigar bar downtown with a new girlfriend? A artsy type party down on the southside with old acquaintances? Or to the movies with the cousin who's going through major crap in her life right now?
Answer - none of the above.
I took my sorry ass to bed, after catching up with major homework, at 9:00 PM. Am I pathetic or what? Yeah well I was extremely tired, had tons of stuff to do at home, phone calls to make to all these people letting them know I wouldn't be able to make it, and then play catch up with the homework I put off until the very last minute... as always.
This morning has been no less stressful. I got up super early to finish putting my freshly washed clothes away, met some relatives for breakfast, and now I'm going through e-mails, making last minute changes to my assignment, and obviously updating my journal. I have so much e-mail I haven't caught up with (unread=88, and that's on just one of my e-addressees)! Ugh! I think I'll go through every single one tomorrow morning or this afternoon after class. Speaking of class, I have to get going in about an hour so that gives me time to research some information. I'm telling you, if you haven't taken a web design class or such, when you do, you'll understand my addiction. It's fascinating. Sure I sound like a geek but just check it out and you'll agree with me.
Anyway, I'm on high adrenaline right now from my herbal caffeine-free tea. NOT!!!
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, everbody sux!
You don't really know why
But you wanna justify ripping someone's head off!
No human contact, and if you interact your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!
It's all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit letting shit slip
Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip
-Limp Bizkit-
Of seeds and things
I'm afraid of losing my fingers.
I'm afraid of what tremendous loss this will cause in my life.
I will no longer be able to:
Dial the telephone to call my niece and listen to her always joyful, laughing five year old voice.
Use a pen to write a letter to my mother, letting her know in ink what I can't say with my voice.
Feel the strength and softness of my bow as I glide it over and over again on the strings of my violin.
Pet the lost kitty I happen to see hiding, frightened and hungry, behind the cold rusting metal of some dumpster in an alley.
Feel the crispness of new pages of a long, sought after book.
Feel my long, soft hair between my fingers as I braid it.
Rub my fingers together in a circular motion as I tend to do when I'm nervous or pensive.
Tap them on the steering wheel of my car as I listen to my favorite song.
Place the gold, leaf-shaped ring my father gave me on the ring finger of my right hand.
Feel the sting from a sharp cut as I shuffle papers on my desk.
Count the wooden beads of my favorite bracelet between each finger as my mind wanders to a faraway place.
Pinch and tickle the chubby cheeks of my niece and nephews while they giggle with delight.
Search the cut-out tabs of my favorite dictionary as I eagerly seek the meaning of a new word.
Unconsciously suck on the nail of my index finger when lost in thought.
Constantly pull back the strands of hair that get in my eyes, or flip it back behind my shoulders.
Point at the words and pictures of a book as I read to my niece and softly caress her eyelashes when she's fast asleep.
Play thumb wars, paper-scissor-rock, or a quick poke between the eyes Stooges style.
Form a symbol of affection or dislike with one or several of my fingers.
Fervently type away when I'm chatting online with an old friend or a complete stranger.
Pick the most perfect, plumpest grape from a bunch and squish out it's seeds.
Give those seeds to a new friend as a symbol of our friendship.
Yes, I'll miss my fingers terribly.
I got kidgloves
baby I got heart
- Luscious Jackson -
What up with Al Gore, yo? He scares me! Those jokes about him being so stiff and corpse-like... well it's no joke. I'm having me some nightmares tonight that's for sure. Ugh.
It turns out things really do happen for a reason. You live through experiences that at the moment make no sense then one day out of the blue it hits you, and that light bulb inside your head goes off. "Yeah! This is why it happened." And we slap our foreheads Homer Simpson style stupidly saying "Doh!"
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't
Then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news
Every day I am.
I don't know, that's just the way I am
-Eminem-
Fox News recently had an article about Eminem's upcoming terrible, horrible, violent, yadda yadda -insert any other Buchanan/Lieberman comment here - song. The song they're referring to (Stan) has been playing for awhile now, at least it has been in the windy city. What is the big deal? I'll bet ya they haven't even heard the silly song. I'm sure Eminem appreciates the free publicity though.
I thought I knew something about web design and such. Well, it turns out that's all I knew. Something. Okay, okay, it's not that bad. And no i'm not that dumb. It's just that when I learn something that everyone else around me seems to already know I feel like such a dork. I want to go hide in a library and read Shakespeare or something so I'll feel a little tiny bit intellectual.
Fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue
Set me free
Oh I pray
Closer to heaven above
And closer to you
-Dixie Chicks-
I like the show Sex and The City, but honestly, between you and me, isn't it just a bunch of rich New York sluts who don't know how to dress?