If you ever go through the Castro district in San Francisco, quite frequently, you will see two men holding hands, and occasionally two women. There are some people in life who find they prefer to have a relationship with the same gender. This is labeled as homosexuality. Society can be un-accepting of this type of people, and some have an "unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality", (Lexico) known as homophobia. Their hatred is typically based on fear. There has been a long history of discrimination, and harassment of homosexuals. Over the years people have come up with a large number of derogatory names. It is a clear indication of just how rampant homophobia is. Some find homosexuality plain disgusting, and others are against it for religious reasons. There are also people who have been brought up and are brainwashed by a homophobic environment. In addition to that, there are some people who are not necessarily against homosexuality, but slander it anyway because of peer pressure. The epidemic of homophobia in our country is a result of ignorance. People typically are afraid of what they don’t understand. Homophobic people need to understand that homosexuality isn’t as abnormal as they think it is, that gay and lesbian people struggle under a huge amount of hardships and social barriers, and that the values and examples we impart on the next generation determines the course of our future.
My parents raised me to be accepting of all types of people. Being part of the minority, I know what it is like to be stereotyped and made fun of. I spent all of my years in middle school and some of high school trying to figure out why they would pick on me, and to this day, I still have not figured it out. When meeting a new person, I look at what is on the inside. People talk about homosexuality as being abnormal, but I see it as normal. A relationship is a relationship, no matter whom it’s between. Love is a beautiful thing, and I think that anywhere a person can find it should be nurtured and cherished. There is so much hate in the world today, who are we to tell a person whom they can or can’t love? A gay person’s outward appearance doesn’t differ from anyone else, and neither does what’s inside. The love between a homosexual couples is just as strong as it is between a heterosexual couple. Love is defined as "a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness", and "a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance." (Lexico) The only boundaries there are in love are the ones we place on it socially. Although they are still there, the social boundaries on love are much looser in other countries, and it is interesting to note that although those exact same cultures are present in the US, we maintain a strict social boundary on it.
People involved with religion say that The Lord says it’s a sin. Although I am not strictly religious, I still have my own vision of God, and I can’t understand why he would "grant" love to some people and not others. It is a fact that there are "six passages in the Bible that condemn homosexual behavior", but there are passages involving rules against sinful heterosexual behavior as well. (LGPAP 3) "Many conservative religious folk are distressed when the term "racism" is used to define their beliefs and actions. Some state that they (and their God) hate homosexuality but love the homosexual. They do not wish to be lumped into the same category as racists and sexists. Others are selective in their discriminatory goals. They might be in favor of equal civil rights for gays and lesbians in employment and accommodation, while opposing equal right in marriage and adoption. Again, they do not see themselves as homophobes, even though they work towards the maintenance of special rights for heterosexuals. This type of concern mirrors a situation decades ago when some people did not consider themselves to be racists even though they opposed inter-racial marriage. They maintain that they had no hatred against persons of any race; they just wanted to prevent them from marrying outside of their race. Similarly, many people do not consider themselves to be sexist, even though they wish to prohibit women being ordained as clergy or sharing the power equally with their spouses. They believe they have no hatred of women; they just want them to be excluded from certain roles." (Robinson 3) The statement "the lord says it is a sin" also implies that "the homosexual is or should be bound by the religious principles that are propounded here by the religionist. The fact of the matter is that since this society and its government was founded on the notion of the separation of church and state, to encode in a secular law an idea that has purely religious purposes, is a clear violation of the principle of the separation of church and state. Until the religionist can come up with a sound reason why society benefits by the outlawing of homosexual activity, then there is no moral basis for such a law if one accepts the principle of religious freedom as encoded in the doctrine of the separation of church and state." (Bidstrup 2) I personally find it very tiring to have to turn away the Jehovah’s witnesses at my door all the time, trying to get me to join their faith, when I have been perfectly happy following my own set of ideals.
One myth is that People choose to be gay or straight. The truth is that when "we fall in love with a person, whether of the same or opposite sex, it is because of a complex combination of factors. Most feel that their sexual orientation is not a choice, but a natural response for them. Trying to change one’s sexual response to straight or gay is usually unsuccessful. We do have a choice in how we treat each other. Hatred of gay men and lesbians is the work of humans, not God. As with any other group, the majority of gay men and lesbians are good people who are concerned about the future of our country and the world. They do not ask special favors, simply the respect and rights that we all should enjoy, without fear of verbal or physical attacks. How we treat one another IS by choice." (LGPAP 4) One person said they witnessed "a teenage boy being forcefully committed to a mental institution when his parents found out he was gay", and another "who was made to crawl on his hands and knees and beg forgiveness so his parents would allow him to live with them", (Robinson 13) whereupon they forced a life of total isolation on him. What gives human beings the right to do this? I think that it is a sad fact that we are so attached to "the norm" that we ridicule, and even alienate anyone who has different opinions or lifestyles than we’re used too. Our children are our flesh and blood, and our sole responsibility. We are their role models, and anyone who uses that privilege to abuse and degrade their child, doesn’t deserve it, and should be locked up. A homosexual young man who had homophobic parents wrote this in his diary when he was sixteen: "I can't ever let anyone find out that I'm not straight. It would be so humiliating. My friends would hate me, I just know it. They might even want to beat me up. And my family? I've overheard them lots of times talking about gay people. They've said they hate gays, and even God hates gays, too. Gays are bad, and God sends bad people to hell. It's really hell. It really scares me now, when I hear my family talk that way, because now, they are talking about me. I guess I'm no good to anyone ... not even God. Life is so cruel, and unfair. Sometimes I feel like disappearing from the face of this earth..." He later committed suicide at twenty years old. Being born in a supportive and loving environment, (and turning twenty in the fall) I can’t even imagine how horrible his life must have been.
The Stereotypes, degradation, and ridicule we subject homosexuals to is deplorable. "Those of us who fear or hate gay men and lesbians usually don't think we "know" any, even though there may be a number of people with whom we work, socialize, or even live who are lesbian or gay. Concurrently, many gay and lesbian people spend their lives "in the closet", fearing that homophobia will destroy their self-respect, their family relationships, even their lives. Unfortunately, homophobic people go on blindly perpetuating fictional stereotypes, while real people are hurt by the hatred" (LGPAP) "Not only must gay and lesbian youth withstand ridicule and, often violence from their peers, they risk outright rejection from their parents should they decide to come out. The combination of the cultures condemnation of homosexuality and the alienation form ones home and parents (supposedly a haven of security and support) cause unusually high rate of attempted suicide. They are two to three more times likely to attempt suicide, which accounts for as many as thirty percent of completed youth suicides each year. Twenty- six percent of gay youth are forced to leave home because of conflicts with their families over their sexual identities. Up to half engage in prostitution to help support themselves, and as a result, they greatly increase their risk for HIV infection."(Robinson 3) Statistics also indicate that, "the incidence of substance abuse is disproportionately high among gay and lesbian youth. Societal oppression and fear of rejection often lead to substance abuse." (LGPAP 3). To quote Yoda from Star Wars "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." On Oct. 6, 1998 in Laramie Wyoming, 21- year old Mathew Shepard was lured from a bar by 22-year old Aaron Mc Kinney and 22-year old Russell Henderson. They kidnapped him, and drove to a remote place with a fence, where they tied him up and beat him. A bicyclist found him the next day, and although Mathew was rushed to the hospital, he died five days later. The defendants claim that he hit on them and they got frightened. It is possibly the worst excuse I have ever heard in my life. If a dog were to frighten me I wouldn’t tie it up and beat it, nor (I would speculate) would anyone else. (Court TV) It has been determined that, "conservative and mainline churches contribute to the current deaths of gay and lesbian youths today at a rate greater than the church exterminated "witches" during the Middle ages and Renaissance period." (Robinson5) Even though we consider ourselves to be so technologically advanced, a lot of our societal practices remain un-evolved. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force catalogued a record 7,031 incidents nationally during 1989 ranging from harassment to homicide.
"Homophobia is like any other prejudice. It requires ignorance to fuel fear and hatred. As individuals, and as a society, we are all diminished whenever anyone degrades another." Our past is stained with situations of degradation, such as slavery, the internment of the Japanese Americans, and the relocation of the Native Americans. Franklin D Roosevelt said, "Knowledge - that is, education in its true sense - is our best protection against unreasoning prejudice and panic-making fear, whether engendered by special interest, illiberal minorities, or panic-stricken leaders." (LGPAP) While talking about homosexuality with a (now ex) friend, He used another one of the reasons people don’t like homosexuality, because "It’s disgusting". Until now I didn’t know how commonly that reason was used. To refute this reason supporters say "There are many things that go on in society that we would consider disgusting, but we don't outlaw them just because of that. In fact, many of these activities are quite essential to the functioning of a modern society, but we simply turn our minds to other matters and don't concern ourselves with them." (Bidstrup3) If we went through our lives obsessing over everything that disgusted us, we wouldn’t have time for anything else.
Many things fuel Homophobia. The inability or unwillingness to change the hatred taught during childhood, the fear of different people, the promotion of homophobia by religious groups, and "Heterosexism, which is institutionalized homophobia, defined by the assumption that being heterosexual is inherently better or more moral than being lesbian, gay or bisexual. Like racism, sexism, and other forms of oppression, heterosexism awards power to members of the dominant group (heterosexuals) and denies privilege to members of the subordinate group (lesbians, gay men, and bisexual women and men.)" (CTEP)
In the 1986 case of Bowers V.S Hardwick, when a man walked in on a homosexual couple having sex, the Supreme Court ruled that, “The privacy rights of married and unmarried people to have consensual sex in private do not exist if the people are of the same sex. The main deliberation concerned his fourth amendment rights. "The behavior for which Hardwick faces prosecution occurred in his own home, a place to which the Fourth Amendment attaches special significance. The Court's treatment of this aspect of the case is symptomatic of its overall refusal to consider the broad principles that have informed our treatment of privacy in specific cases. Just as the right to privacy is more than the mere aggregation of a number of entitlements to engage in specific behavior, so too, protecting the physical integrity of the home is more than merely a means of protecting specific activities that often take place there. Even when our understanding of the contours of the right to privacy depends on "reference to a `place,'" Katz v. United States, 389 U.S., at 361 (Harlan, J., concurring), "the essence of a Fourth Amendment violation is `not the breaking of [a person's] doors, and the rummaging of his drawers,' but rather is `the invasion of his indefensible right of personal security, personal liberty and private property.'" (SCA) When I learned about this case, I was distressed. Is NOTHING sacred anymore? What goes on in your house is your concern and not anyone else’s.
There are many rights denied to homosexual couples that heterosexual couples have. Among them are: the right to marriage, equal benefits, and the ability to be recognized as family members, the right to raise children, and the entitlement to protection against discrimination. In addition, there is controversy against having gays in the military. The denial of these rights stem from people’s fear of homosexuality. The subject wouldn’t be controversial if homophobic people took the time to understand, and hopefully (in the near future) accept homosexuality.
"Some argue that marriage is by definition between a man and a woman; and it is difficult to argue with definition. But if marriage is articulated beyond this circular fiat, then the argument for its exclusivity to one man and woman disappears. The center of this public contract is an emotional, financial, and psychological bond between two people; in this respect, heterosexuals and homosexuals are identical. Marriage is not simply a private contract; it is a social and public recognition of a private commitment. As such, it is the highest public recognition of personal integrity. Denying it to homosexuals is the most public affront possible to their public equality." (LOC53) "Marriage provides an anchor, if an arbitrary and often weak one, in the maelstrom of sex and relationships to which we are all prone. It provides a mechanism for emotional stability and economic security. We rig the law in it’s favor, not because we disparage all forms of relationship other than the nuclear family, but because we realize that not to promote marriage would be to ask too much of human virtue." (LOC 50-63)
Marriage is a huge life-changing event. It is not some simple label that we arbitrarily put on a practice. The whole process of preparation, and the exchanging of vows is something no one should be deprived of. If it were just simply a label, everyone would get married at the courthouse, and not bother wearing a nice outfit or invite their relatives. It is the symbol of a life together "Till death do us part", a truly beautiful and sacred thing.
Another myth is that homosexual couples shouldn’t raise children. I believe that the same things can be taught by a homosexual couple that a heterosexual couple would teach. The values of honesty, courage, friendship, trust, and all of the other values we learn over the years can be learned from anyone. The idea that a child "needs a same sex parent and an opposite sex parent to have the best chance to develop healthy sexual identities" (LOC 84) isn’t true because there are abusive and pedophilic heterosexual family situations that would contribute to an unhealthy sexual identity in a child. A homosexual couple could raise a child in a natural healthy environment just as well as a heterosexual couple.
“Legally, if a person in a homosexual relationship dies, their partner is not recognized as a family member. The statuses that come along with the title "family member" is spelled out in the rights of inheritance laws, and in the absence of a will, family members receive priority in inheritance."(LOC30) but, "Even when a gay man or a lesbian woman has a will naming a partner, the will is more likely to be challenged and overturned than a will favoring traditional family members. The same hold true for life insurance claims where a lesbian woman or a gay man has named partner as beneficiary." (LOC32) The will is the last wish of a person, so why shouldn’t it be honored? Nothing is more heartbreaking for a person who has lost their partner, than to have to battle over the right to their memory. "The reluctance of courts and legislatures to recognize an expanded definition of family has translated into an unwillingness to extend family rights and benefits to nontraditional families." In addition, some companies refuse to pay death benefits to the partner they would normally give a spouse in a heterosexual couple who was "dependant on the employee participant prior to his/her death, who demonstrates financial need after death." (LOC 32) The courts are supposed to be fair and unbiased in their rulings. It is homophobic people who put them in office. Hopefully with a more open-minded approach becoming popular, we can change the system, and bring in people who will do the right thing.
In the armed services, there is currently a "don’t ask, don’t tell" view of homosexuality, coupled with a "Can You please leave?" attitude. (Dad comment) I really don’t understand, how come a group of strong, tough guys would be so concerned with an issue such as sexuality. Sexuality has no bearing whatsoever on a person’s ability to fight. It is the person’s strength of character and length of training that matters on the battlefield. If the homophobic feelings are stemmed from the concern that the homosexual person would be checking them out in the shower or something of the sort, I suggest (if they’re THAT uncomfortable) they could wear swim trunks or install curtains. I think that whoever wants to protect our country has a right too, and that they should be thanked for doing the country such a great service.
The ideals and examples we impart on the next generation have a direct affect our future. Children who grow up in a homophobic environment are drastically impaired socially. They learn to cling to narrow minded ideals, and have a disdain for different viewpoints and lifestyles. It can create an arrogant, self- centered, and paranoid person. I see some people, who are like that now, and I look at the state of the world, and it makes me depressed. I want to work to break the cycle of hatred and destruction that has plagued the world for so long. Homophobia is just one root in the ugly tree of racism, but if we can cut one part off, we will be that much closer to solving the larger problem. A poll shows that an increase from 35% in 1978 to 52% in 1994, of people found the homosexual lifestyle to be acceptable, and that the percentage of people who thought homosexuality was wrong, decreased from 73 to 61% (Robinson,8) It is jus a matter of time before that percentage will be down to 30, or maybe even 20. "Some people may need professional help to deal with their phobia of gay men and lesbians, just as some need help to deal with fear of heights or elevators. But for most of us, a willingness to examine our fears is enough to alleviate them. Fear is borne out of myths and ignorance. We can stop being afraid of gay and lesbian people if we start understanding the myths surrounding homosexuality."(LGPAP)
I don’t have many convictions in life, but the ones I do have are strongly rooted in my upbringing. I stand by my causes when they are questioned. There is something inside me that tells me when something is right or wrong. I can’t explain how I know, I just do. With every fiber of my being I believe that homosexuality is a beautiful thing to be cherished, or at the very least, respected. Relationships are the business of the two individuals involved, and should not be hindered by outside opinions or politics. The stipulations and regulations that are put in place to deter homosexuality are archaic products of homophobia. We are in a new century, so shouldn’t we leave them behind us? Now, more than ever, I am resolved not to bring a child into this world until I am absolutely sure I can handle the responsibility of raising him or her. There are so many things to worry about I want to make sure I have them all sorted out for myself first. I try my hardest to not pre- judge people and get to know what they are like on the inside. It is the least I can do, and I only hope that other people can do the same courtesy for me. Homophobia tarnishes the idea of freedom that our nation holds so dear. I hope that through education, we can wipe it out of our existence.
If you have any opinions on this, E-mail me!