Diversions: Rain I
Here I sit watching the rain fall. The raindrops hit the cold glass window and merge into tiny tributaries as they streak downward to the finish. I have no idea what fascinates me about the rain. Maybe it's the sound it makes when they hit the window. Maybe it's the tapestry of rivers that are formed. Maybe it's because it reminds me of home when the chilly fog rolls in. It's probably that reason, but something about it draws me in.
Quiet times like this give me time to recuperate, reflect and contemplate. I can't count the times when I've stared at the raindrops, the snowflakes or the twinkling stars, thinking of what I could have done on the previous slides. I have to stop second-guessing myself because all it does is bring me grief and worry. I have to let the past slides go, but it's getting more difficult as time goes by. We have no idea what the future will bring. Will we get home? Will we die on the next world? Were we already home? I don't even want to think about that last possibility.
We've been sliding for a while now and I'm beginning to believe we're never going to get home - our home. We've been to parallel worlds that were almost home only to find out that it's not because one of us recognizes a minute difference - a squeaking gate, a wrong football score, a sibling one didn't have or a parent who's alive or the color of the Golden Gate Bridge. The others would jump on the observant one, saying that they were home. I've asked for forgiveness many times for doing that and forgiven them for doing the same to me. After all, we are family. Nothing will break us apart.
Looking up at the stormy clouds
Thinking of the bleak future ahead
Hoping beyond hope that we will get home
Lightning flashes across the dark sky
Jagged writing amidst the dissonant claps of thunder
When I close my eyes
All I think of is home
©2005 by Missing Slider Ryan