[the scene opens on a jam packed XOW arena as 'Misery Inc' music blares as 'members' of 'Misery Inc' come down the ramp. The crowd at first cheers when they hear the music and then they start to boo when they see what is really happening. It appears that Union members are dressed up like 'Misery Inc' members. Shannan McLaren is walking down the ramp in a suit with a thumb up his ass (Brad). Maroon is wearing tights a pancho and a sombrero (Linchador) followed by little Mexican boy(Pedro). Cactus Chad is dressed like Force and he is holding a mop with a thong on it. Thunder is wearing a trenchcoat and has two eye patches over his eyes (Viper) cant see what he's doing and is being lead by 'Force'. And bringing up the rear is some jobber dressed like a jobber(Floyd) . They get in the ring and 'Brad' has a mic]
'Brad': You know. I was just sitting in the back with my thumb up my ass and I was thinking of another way that I could come out here and see how much further I could stick my thumb up my ass. I mean it feels quite good. I've been doing it for the past three months and It gets deeper and deeper. I didnt realize that my anal cavity could compensate the depth at which my thumb can be stuck up my ass. If I were a contortionist. I could probably stick my head up there and suck my thumb while I was at it. Come here 'Floyd' while I kiss your ass some more and let you glide by just doing the bare minimum.
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
['Floyd' comes up and and 'Brad' gets on his knees with his thumb up his ass still and starts kissing 'Floyds']
'Floyd': You know, son. I made this company, son. I was winning titles before you were even a gleam in your mothers eye, son. You are where you are at because I got you there, son. I am the 'god of your world', son. I made you, son. I like telling stories about old wrestlers from dead feds that no one cares about, son. I made Pete Penner, son. I made Chris Robert, son. I made Maroon, son. I made some cookies last night, son.
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
'Brad': 'Floyd' who are you talking too?
'Floyd': I dont know, son. I use the same lines every time I talk, son. Because Misery loves company, son. Thats you fans. You fans are company, son. because it just works when I say it and I have to explain it each time, son so everyone will get this old gimmick, son.
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
['Force' and his mop wearing a thong grabs mic]
'Force': You know when I was out working out in the weight room earlier today. I was looking in the mirror and thought how wonderful it is to sign autographs every day. I get a cramp in my hand from signing so many autographs. I have to wear carpal tunnel syndrome splints so my wrists wont hurt when I lift weights every 15 minutes. Im so Extreme. I will be the most extremist of the extreme.. Isnt that right Tawnya?
'Tawnya' (the mop wearing the thong while 'Force' does a ventriliquist act): Oh that is so right, 'Force' you are so extreme. I cant think of anyone more extremer then you. Give me a kiss under the moonlight but be sure I get home in time. I told my parents we went to the movies.
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
'Brad': Very nice young lovers. 'Tawnya' you seem to be gaining weight. You know I've gained a whole lot of weight since I practiced putting my thumb up my ass..
'Tawnya': Oh I know. I had two skittles and a pringle today. I feel so bloated!!!
['Linchador' gets the mic from 'Brad']
'Linchador': Helloooooooooooo Linchy-queers and XOW crack-addicts. It is I El Linchador your XOW World Champion, making my second appearance this month. Me and Loner have a contest on who roleplays less. I think I am one up on him. Isnt that right my bestest friend in the world Pedro?
'Pedro': My name isnt Pedro. Its Elian.
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
'Linchador': Ah very funny Pedro You are a funny man. But not as funny as me. Do you know that the human head weighs eight pounds. Do you know how I know, Pedro?? because I watched Jerry McGuire. And Maroon's brain weighs like 6 and a half Pedro. Arent I funny Pedro???
OLEEEEEEEEEE!!!
'Viper': Yeah!!! What he said!!
'Brad': So all you Union members. Dont mess with 'Misery Inc' because not only do I have my thumb up my ass. I almost have my index finger up there also.
['Misery Inc' music plays as the members raise their hands and leave the ring and up the ramp]