Extreme Beatdown Challange
Posted on 21/10/2004 at 04:52:26 PM by Maroon

[-How you doing, everbody? Narrator here.. and it's time for everyone's favorite show, everybody.....-]

[-Little Asian Kids-] EXTREME BEATDOWN CHALLANGE!!!!!!

[-That's right, everybody. Please welcome our guests, everybody. Mr. Maroon and Edward Stevens, everybody-]

[-Maroon-] Good day. Thanks for joining us on, Extreme Beatdown Challange. I'm Maroon and with me as always is my brother Edward Stevens. How's it going today, Ed?

[-Stevens-] Doing great today.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. I notice that today you're wearing that shirt I got you for Christmas a couple years ago.

[-Stevens-] Yeah, I had thought I that I threw it away with all the other crap that you give me. But mom hasn't done laundry so, It's the only thing that I have that isn't dirty.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. How's that going? Living on the futon?

[-Stevens-] Oh, it's the most excruciating pain I've felt in my life. I get waffle butt sitting on it...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. Now let's go ahead and get the game started.. For those of you who are new to the show. Let's break down the rules for you. We have two people.

[-Stevens-] Two people who are usually Japanese but talk with white people accents..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. But these two people are reinacting a relationship that is filled with baby momma drama.

[-Stevens-] And we follow the action until one of them gets drunk and beats the other
down.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. So, with the formalities out of the way lets play...

[-Little Asian Kids-] EXTREME BEATDOWN CHALLANGE!!!

[-Maroon-] Ok let's meet our first contestant.. From the great state of Illinoise.. His name is Force..

[-Stevens-] I believe it's pronounced Illinoy..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed...Let's welcome him now..

[-An asian guy dressed like AWA Superstar Force comes running out into the arena. Raises his hands and yells something that doesn't match the words coming out-]

[-'Force'-] ROBBLE ROBBLE!!!!

[-'Force' starts doing various things that are being described by commentary by Maroon and Stevens-]

[-Maroon-] Force starts out by going to the work out bench..

[-Stevens-] No wonder he's so buff. What's that he's doing now? He's putting an eight track in.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. Force likes them oldies to listen to when he's working out. Like George Thurogood and other songs from the 80s...

[-Stevens-] I've seen him outside of wrestling and lifting weights. He is very proud of the fact that he can make his hair into a hair helmut and grow a porno mustache.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. After a few hours of working out....

[-Stevens-] Cleaning and jerking...

[-Maroon-]
Right you are, Ed.. It appears that a gaggle of kids have lined up for some reason..

[-Stevens-] Oh, I've seen this play before.. This is where he signs autographs until he gets carpal tunnel..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. This is a classic move where he tries to show that he's a good guy because he likes kids. Oh my.. What's he doing on now?

[-Stevens-] It appears he's going back to cleaning and jerking..

[-Maroon-] Right you are Ed. It appears that Force is so unsecure with his looks that he must work out 27 hours a day..

[-Stevens-] I believe it might be to cover up the steroid use..

[-Maroon-] Oh.. Right you are, Ed.. Good call.. And it looks like it's time for our other contestant to enter the game...

[-An asian chick dressed like Tawnya comes running out throws her hands up and yells something that doesn't match her mouth movement-]

[-'Tawnya'-] WILL AND GRACE!!!!!!!!!

[-Maroon-] It looks like Tawnya is there to work out too... She notice Force and is now appearing to start her 'look at me' mating dance..

[-Stevens-] I've seen this before.. On the National Geographic channel. The Black Toothed Red Horned Blue Bird does this same thing in the Amazon in order to get her husband...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed..Wow.. Force is already lured by her feminine ways.

[-Stevens-] He's posing and asking which way it is to the weight room.. But he's already there..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. But I believe he's doing, what we that are good with the women... 'Small Talk.' And it looks like it's working, Ed.. Tawnya has already laughed at him...

[-Stevens-] But is she laughing because he's funny, or is it because he's 80 and hitting on a twenty-something year old??

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. It's probably the reason why she found her way into the room in the first place. Thinking that this old man has money and that he'll die soon.

[-Stevens-] At first I thought it was Anna Nicole Smith.. But Anna's lost a whole lot more weight with TrimSpa..

[-Maroon-] Right you are. Ed.. Hey. He actually asked her out and now they are having a moonlight picinic. She's even mashing up his food for him so it will be easier for him to chew...

[-Stevens-] I think he's falling for the trap.. Yep he is.. He's going in for the kiss in the moonlight...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. He's getting bonus points because he's respecting the rest of her body and keeping his hands to himself..

[-Stevens-] Is it respect of the fact that the rest of her is covered with carbuncles and boils..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. Hey now, lookit.. Time has passed and they're living together and she's pregnant..Oh uh.. Not good if you want to goto Heaven..

[-Stevens-] Maybe they're married. He might not be able to afford a ring since he's the Bradshaw of main eventers...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. You can see the frustration starting to rise in the challanger, Tawnya right now.. She's eating for two and needs special attention, but can't get that if Force is always rolling around with half naked men.. No inuendo intended..

[-Stevens-] Eating for two? It looks like she's eating for about two dozen... It took three minutes for her whole butt to finish coming through the door just now..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. Definetly not a good sign if you want to stay married..Oh it looks like Tawnya is taking out her fat agression on Force..She just slapped him in the face and called him Droz with not as much talent...

[-Stevens-] Not good for the ego, especially since Droz has been crippled for 5 years now.. Which reminds me. Why couldn't superman save the yankee's from losing?

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed... Err.. I mean.. why?

[-Stevens-] Because he's dead...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. But it appears that, Force not wanting to smack his girl, takes out his old agression on Mr. Beam.

[-Stevens-] And it looks like, Force is winning that Extreme Beatdown Challenge..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. But unfortunately.. The person he has to beat down cannot be a bottle of whiskey... And it seems as though Force just can't take it anymore.. He's a slobbering drunk.

[-Stevens-] He makes Ted Kennedy look like The Pope..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. And it looks like Force is letting Mr. Beam tell him what to do.. Wow.. He just slapped Tawnya across her face..

[-Stevens-]
And it's been two minutes and the cheeks are still moving. That's called physics, bro..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. Hold up.. Tawnya isn't leaving.. She appears to have battered wives syndrome..

[-Stevens-] And he's putting on his Tawnya Beater shirt.. Wait a minute.. Who is that? Is that a run in?

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. Stone Cold Steve Austin has just entered fray...

[-A bald asian guy dressed like Austin come running in. Holds his hands up and yells something that doesnt match the mouth movement-]

[-'Steve Austin'-] HOOOOTIE WHO!

[-Maroon-] Austin appears to be showing the correct way to abuse your wife.

[-Edward Stevens-] Now only if Scott Peterson was here, he'd show us the correct way to get rid of her..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. And it doesn't look like Tawnya is going to take anymore of it. She's taking herself and the baby and they're out of there like the Yankees and the World Series... It looks like Tawyna is going to forfeit.. Force is the winner of Extreme Beatdown Challange..

[-Stevens-] But not before she reminds Force that he's going to have a visit from some friends of hers..

[-Maroon-]
Right you are, Ed.. Mrs Alimony and Mr. Childsupport are going to be stopping by soon, and Force isnt going to like it much..

[-Stevens-] He better be careful or we might find him hanging out with Lex Luger and next thing you know one of them will be dead in a hotel room.

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed. Let's pray for Force that they'll take his application at Wal-Mart and he can spend the last few years of his life greeting people with that smile of his that we love so dear.

[-Stevens-] The smile built completely out of dentures..

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. We're out of time... This has been Extreme Beatdown Challange.. I'm Mister Maroon..

[-Stevens-] And I'm Edward Stevens...

[-Maroon-] Right you are, Ed.. And we'll be back next week for more of...

[-Little Asian Kids-] EXTREME BEATDOWN CHALLANGE!!

[-Hope you liked the show, everybody. Be sure to check out the further adventures of Force this weekend as Maroon and Force go at it for the first time in a long time at AWA Reloaded, everybody-]