Help! S.O.S! Save Nuke!

    Posted by Nuke on August 13, 2001, 2:22 am
    216.94.38.93


    **[ The scene opens focusing in on the main desk of the
    SCW HQ. Nuke is standing in front of the desk waiting for Ivanna Feckalot to
    get off the phone. Finally Ivanna puts down the phone and looks up at Nuke .
    . .]**

    Ivanna Feckalot - Can I help you sir?

    Nuke - Yes I'm Nuke. I'd like to enter the building
    here is my access card.

    **[ Nuke hands Ivanna Feckalot his card and she looks at
    it weird then hands it back to him . . .]**

    Ivanna Feckalot - That's a Jumbo Video card sir
    you need a SCW access card to get in.

    Nuke - Oh shit . . .here's the real one sorry.

    **[ Nuke hands Ivanna Feckalot his card again and she
    looks at it then hands it back to him . . .]**

    Ivanna Feckalot - OK, seems alright you can go in
    but how did you get that sticky stuff all over the card?

    Nuke - Ummm . . . .. I don't know. See ya later
    Ivanna.

    **[ Nuke begins to walk around the halls when he stops
    in his tracks wondering what the hell that sound is . . .]**

    Security Guards: HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR HOR..

    Nuke - What the hell?

    **[ The security guards keep running past and out of
    sight as Nuke walks around for awhile again. He stops and gets a sprite from
    the pop machine when suddenly the Wu-Tang Midgets fall out of the vent just
    down from the pop machine . . .]**

    Nuke - What the ####! Midgets!!!

    **[ Nuke freaks out and boots the first midget that
    crosses his path which is X-Midget who slams into the wall hard.. The rest
    scatter and take off as Nuke goes over to X-Midget and picks him up . . .]**

    Nuke - Aren't you one of those Midgets that follows
    Hall and Maroon around and dress like Degeneration X? What exactly do you
    little turds think you are doing crawling around in the vents?

    X-Midget - . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Nuke - You little bastard! Fine don't tell me! I'll
    just go in and check myself

    **[ Nuke throws X-Midget down the hallway and he slides
    all the way down the hall and into the wall at the end. Nuke begins to climb
    into the vent. He squeezing hard to get through since eh is a big man and
    it's rally easy for those midgets. Nuke makes it to the edge of the hole and
    begins to fall . . .]**

    Nuke - Huh?

    **[ Nuke lands on the pillows after some intense
    falling. He looks around and is a bit freaked out . . .]**

    Nuke - Where the hell am I? And who are these
    people? Wait I think I know one of them!

    **[ Nuke begins to run down the line of chambers. He
    goes past The Seal, Fontony "the angry mob guy", and Brian Graf. He ends up
    in front of the chamber that read "Rob Van Mongo" . . .]**

    Nuke - I thought they like killed this guy for
    sucking or something . . . .damn it! I got nothing today. Wonder what this
    does.

    **[ Nuke presses a button and the chamber lets Mongo
    loose. He goes through that whole Austin Powers stage and stuff then is
    standing there by Nuke in no time. . .]**

    Rob Van Mongo - Dude? I'm Hardcore! What hardcore
    year is it? Dude?

    Nuke - You're lucky it's 2025 and you're the new
    hunt?

    Rob Van Mongo - Really? HARDCORE!!!!!

    Nuke - Run b###h! Run!

    **[ Rob Van Mongo high tales it freaking out and runs
    right into a wall. Nuke follows through on the fall back and spears him.
    Nuke picks him up and hits Nuclear Fusion. He picks up Mongo and throws him
    away into a corner . . .]**

    Nuke - moron! Now how the hell do I get out of here?

    **[ Nuke looks around the whole place for awhile and
    can't find an exit. It's like a maze but he does find the vent, only he
    can't get back up into it on the count of his size. Nuke begins to freak out
    . . .]**

    Nuke - I'm going to die in here! . . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . . . .. wait! I got it!

    **[ Nuke notices a chamber and runs directly to it. . he
    has saved look on his face. He looks up at the chamber and it says "Carrier
    Pigeon Pete" . . .]**

    Nuke - I'll just take this guy out kick his ass, use
    his pigeon to send to somebody for help and then go in the chamber for
    someone to find me so that I do not starve. But who to send the pigeon to?
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maroon! He'll find me! Ok let's get this
    started. I'll tie my watch to the pigeon maroon will realize it's me when he
    sees the custom silver links. What a perfect plan!

    **[ Nuke opens the chamber then all that Austin Powers
    stuff and Carrier Pigeon Pete is out . . .]**

    Carrier Pigeon Pete - Would you like to use the
    pigeon? Ya? Ya?

    Nuke - Oh sure . .ya . . .ya!

    **[ Nuke knocks Carrier Pigeon Pete Around for awhile
    then chokeslams him and he's finished. Nuke grabs the pigeon and ties his
    watch around it then lets it go to find Maroon. . .]**

    Nuke - Fly pigeon fly! Find Maroon! Save me! . . .
    . .Now time to get in and hope for success! See ya soon world!

    **[ Nuke gives a wave to empty air as he sits down into
    the chamber. He closes the lid and he is now frozen. The scene fades to
    black . . . .but will Maroon find Nuke or is Nuke gone forever? Will Carrier
    Pigeon Pete ever get his pigeon back? Does Rob Van Mongo really suck that
    bad? Find out soon . . . . .]**